Bakugou

It's not easy, it's never easy. Bakugou knows this, but why him? Why did this have to happen to him? The green eyes that had been staring back at him all his life were gone now. His stupid hair and dumb freckles nowhere in sight. It shouldn't be this hard to move on, but he can't. This was not just another classmate, this was Deku and he just straight up had to go and die. For what? To save a few lives? It wasn't worth it. He hated himself for thinking it, but he'd rather have that couple die.

"Gahh," Bakugou absentmindedly grunted. He forgot he was in class, it's not like he could focus much on school right now though. Exams were two weeks ago, just a few days after it happened and he knew that he probably bombed them. What was the point? It's not like he could rub his score in the shitty nerd's face anyway.

"Bakugou? You alright man?" Bakugou turned around to see Sero looking at him concerned. As he turned, he got a glimpse of the empty seat behind him. Dammit why did Sero have to do this to him?

"I'm fine!" he yelled a little too loud causing the rest of the class to look in his direction.

"Is everything okay over there?" Aizawa-sensei had asked. Normally, he would be angrier. There was nothing Aizawa-sensei hated more than interruptions. He liked to get through lessons as quickly as possible and interruptions interfered with that. Still, even he had been careful around Bakugou recently, which only made Bakugou angrier. Was it that easy to see how much of a mess he was?

Class ended and Bakugou ran out as fast as he could. No one stopped him, no one ever stopped him. Even Kirishima knew to give him space. As he walked out he heard Uruaka whisper something to Iida.

"I think he's taking it just as hard as us." Bakugou clenched his fist at that comment. What did they know? He was fine, he didn't miss Deku. He didn't miss the boy that followed him his entire life. He didn't miss the kid that used to idolize him. That damn Deku didn't know what was good for him and now he was gone. At that realization, tears started to drip down Katsuki's face and before anyone could see him, he ran to the roof.

Todoroki

Todoroki saw him though. He saw Bakugou crying, something he thought he'd never see. He couldn't blame him though, he too had been a wreck since Midoriya died. What was worse was he was there to see it happen. He could have saved him. Only if he was fast enough, Midoriya would have been here.

"Todoroki-kun do you want to join us for lunch?" asked Ururaka shyly. She was doing her best to keep it together. She always invited him to lunch and asked if he wanted to hang out. Todoroki appreciated the sentiment, but he always declined. Sitting with Uruaka, Iida and Tsu was too hard. It always felt like something was missing and Todoroki knew he had no right to go sit with them when it was his fault Midoriya had died in the first place.

"Thanks for the offer Uruaka-san, but I think I'll pass for today." He gave her a small smile, but she only sighed and looked at the ground. He wondered how she was handling things. Midoriya and her were always really close. Still, aside from being a little shaken he was surprised how put together she was. Todoroki looked over at Iida hoping for some kind of response. He and Iida had been close before the incident, but now the taller boy wouldn't do so much as look at him. Todoroki wondered if Iida blamed him for the accident, he had every right to. Still, he didn't just give Todoroki the cold shoulder. The class president became a man of few words after the green-haired boy had passed away.

Todoroki waved goodbye to the group and slowly headed upstairs to the roof. He didn't have much of an appetite anyway. He thought of Midoriya and his gleaming green eyes. His freckles that he always wanted to trace over with his finger. Shouto looked down at his left hand and remembered the sports festival. It was Midoriya that inspired him to use his firepower and rise to his full potential as a hero. He couldn't thank him enough for that, but in the end, Todoroki couldn't return the favor.

He watched him die. It was fast, but he was there. Midoriya had rushed to save that couple from that falling building, but that villain had immobilized him. He managed to throw the two to Todoroki, but by the time Shouto had caught them and placed them down it was too late. Looking back, the whole thing seemed a little like a trap. Was someone trying to get Midoriya killed? No, he couldn't blame someone else, the blame lies with him and him only.

His heart ached with the memories of the boy that was his best friend, someone who could have been something more. Todoroki missed his smile and his muttering. He wanted to spend more late nights with him complaining about their families and teachers. He wanted a future with his friend in it, but that wasn't an option anymore. When he finally opened the door on the roof, he discovered Bakugou had beaten him there.

Uraraka

Uraraka hated the world for taking her best friend away. She hated everything about it. She hated the people, the sounds, the smells. How could this world continue to move on without him here? She had tried, she had tried to keep it together, to keep everyone together. That's what Deku would have wanted right? Was it even worth it though? No matter what she did Iida still wouldn't talk to her, Todoroki was always going off on his own and Bakugou was being even more aggressive than his normal self. She had to keep it together, but some days it was too hard. Every day was too hard. So much so that every day after classes were done she would go straight to the bathroom and throw up. After she was done she would stay in her room until she could regain some composure. It wasn't easy, and would often involve some crying, but she did it.

"Oi-Uraraka! Nice job during training today. I've never seen you float that high before." smiled Kaminari just as lively as always. It made her angry sometimes to know that people were just moving on with their lives. She knew it had been almost three weeks since the incident and Kaminari and Deku were never all that close, but still. How could they move on when she couldn't stop thinking of him?

"Thanks," she smiled back at him. She knew it probably didn't look genuine, but she didn't care. She did appreciate the comment though. After all, she had been training a lot recently to pass the time. She felt closest to Deku when she did. That boy trained more than anything and she wanted to keep his spirit alive. She even saved all his hero-analysis journals and kept them in her room. They were next to the now dried out pink rose Deku gave her on their "first-date". Well, he didn't call it a date, but Iida couldn't make it and it was just the two of them. She cherished the memory. He tried to call her beautiful, but he got flustered. He felt so embarrassed about it later that when the night ended he bought her a flower and told her she reminded him of it instead.

If they were given more time then maybe… No, she couldn't do that to herself, to think about any future they could have had. He was gone and she was just going to have to accept that. It didn't help that her heart broke every time she saw the color green. She still turned in Deku's seats direction expectantly during Hero Analysis class sometimes and when she realized he wasn't there, she wanted more than anything to disappear too. This was it, she couldn't keep it in anymore. She wasn't going to throw up today because she wasn't going to eat. She needed to clear her head of him, she needed fresh air.

"Uraraka-san?" she heard Iida say. It was probably his first words of the day, but she didn't care. She ran and ran until she found herself on the roof.

Iida

Uraraka just ran past him. She was hurting and Iida knew it, but as much as he wanted to comfort her he just couldn't. The words couldn't come out no matter how he tried. Life continued as normal after Deku passed away, but he struggled to find joy in its structure. There was a light that Midoriya brought to everything and now it was gone. He should have been there for his friend, but he wasn't. Midoriya came out of nowhere to help him in Hosu, saving his life and more importantly saving his soul. He reminded Iida what it means to be a true hero, but Iida couldn't protect him. He was supposed to be out with Todoroki and Midoriya that day, but he decided it would be better if he prepared for his big speech for the class. Mic-Sensei told him he should do it, that it would help pump his classmates up and Iida took it more seriously than anything. So seriously that when his two friends asked him to hang out that day he declined.

"Poor Ochako, she must have been holding this in for a while." he looked over at Tsu who looked concerned. He only nodded, that's all he could do. After hearing about Midoriya's death he couldn't give that speech anymore. He barely wanted to talk anymore and so that's what he did. He kept quiet only speaking when necessary. If what Todoroki told him was true then he could have saved him. They needed someone with speed and that's exactly what Iida took away from them when he stayed at the dorms.

'He would have been a great hero' he remembered Aizawa sensei saying to the class when he announced Midoriya's death. Iida's heart broke at the comment because he knew it was true. Midoriya had a good heart and a great smile. He reminded him of All Might sometimes in that way. Speaking of All Might-sensei, Iida remembered him taking the news the worst. He took a temporary leave of absence from school because of it as well. Iida wondered if this was because one of his students died or if it was for Midoriya in particular. He thought Uraraka was handling everything okay, but looking at her now he couldn't help but feel bad. She was there to support him through this, but he was so cold to her. Why? She was hurting too, but he didn't do anything to help her. Without a second thought, he waved goodbye to Tsu and followed his friend. Maybe it was too late, but they needed to get through this together.

All of Them

Lunch-period was not going to be long enough for Bakugou to get the space he needed. He thought about ditching class altogether for the day, but he kept seeing Deku's disapproving face in his head. What was worse was that his alone time was cut short when Half and Half came and sat next to him.

"Why are you here?" Bakugou glared at him.

"Same as you," he smiled softly, "I just needed some fresh air." The two sat in silence for several minutes before the door behind them burst open.

"Great, someone else is here," said Bakugou dryly.

Todoroki turned around to find Uraraka behind him and she looked like she had been crying. Her cheeks glistened just like Bakugou's and he figured that they were all here for the same reason. A few moments later Iida came up and they all took a seat, their feet dangling off the edge of the roof.

Uraraka didn't like that there were other people here. She wanted some alone time, but at least no one spoke. It gave her time to collect her thoughts. She dried her cheeks and took in the fresh air and felt almost okay. There was a certain comfort in being here with Bakugou, Todoroki, and Iida. It was almost as if they were each carrying a different part of Deku with them and while they were here together, he was there too.

"I miss him," Iida was the first one to talk. His classmates all turned towards him a little shocked like they had forgotten the sound of his voice. It was the truth, Iida missed Midoriya and he would always miss Midoriya, but he knew his friend wouldn't want him to keep silent forever.

"I miss him too," to Iida' surprise it was Bakugou that spoke.

Bakugou took a deep breath. He had to choose his words carefully otherwise he might break down again. There were so many feelings spinning around his chest that he couldn't make sense of. All he knew was he wished the shitty nerd didn't die. "I've never said anything nice to him, not really at least. He probably died thinking I hate him, but I don't. I don't know how I feel about him, but it's not hatred. He was always there and now..."

"He's gone," Uraraka said with her fists clenched. "I'm so mad at him for leaving us, but at the same time, I miss him more than anything. I keep trying to keep his spirit alive by smiling and going about my day but it's too hard."

Todoroki sighed. It wasn't fair, was it? Uraraka had been carrying this on her back as he continued to blow her off. "Then let us help you. If Midoriya was here he would want us to continue stronger than ever, but I think his expectations are a little too high. For now, let's try to get through this together."

"Together," Iida tasted the word on his tongue. He supposed that was the least they could do.

"Just like that shitty nerd would want." smiled Bakugou.