"Alex!" She heard Ray's voice call from outside her door. She sighed before dropping the book she was reading in annoyance. Ray had a bad habit of seeking her out when he needed help with something.
He opened the wooden door, a couple of bills in his hand, "Coffee time, I'll buy."
Alex reluctantly rolled her eyes and slid her shoes on, pulling her hair up in a ponytail to avoid getting too overheated in the August sun.
"Is there a reason for this spontaneous endeavor?" She asked, rushing down the stairs toward the sidewalk. He called down to her, "I needed a break from planning for the first day of school tomorrow," Ray gave an exasperated sigh as he locked the door behind him, quickly joining her on the sidewalk, "Those kids are going to be the death of me."
"They're college students Ray," She stated, "Not demons."
"Same difference at this point," He muttered under his breath.
She let out a soft chuckle and they continued their usual path toward the park with the coffee stand. She waited until they were a good while down the path before she popped the big question.
"What did you need to talk about?" She asked, arching an eyebrow at the man beside her.
Ray scoffed, a guilty expression written all across his face, "I need a reason to get coffee with you now?" He said it like it was some unbelievable thought. Like the mini therapy sessions weren't the only reason these walks existed.
Alex took a sip from her coffee, knowing if she let the silence hang for a little while longer, he would eventually crack. He scoffed some more before finally giving in.
"It's Kendra," He confessed sheepishly, "I just-She's become kind of a recluse and I don't know what I can do to help."
Alex nodded, trying to stop her stomach from growling at the thought of helping the two stick together.
"How bad is it?"
Ray bobbed his head back and forth, weighing the events in his brain, "She's staying in her room all day, called in sick to work twice, and barely eats anymore." He let out a deep sigh, shoulders slumping, "I just...dont' know what to do."
Alex stared at the coffee cup in her hand and she wondered if she was strong enough to give this up.
If she was selfless enough to give it up.
"Do this," She gestured to the park, ignoring the constriction in her chest as she said it, "The walks in the park, sharing a coffee…" She trailed off, clearing her throat before continuing her thought, "Small stuff like that, just to get her out of the apartment."
The lump in her throat grew bigger and she picked at the cardboard warmer surrounding her cup, trying not to think about what Kendra and Ray did when she wasn't around.
"That's...actually not a bad idea," He smiled, a soft laugh escaping his mouth, "Thanks,"
She returned his gratitude with a tight smile, the two continuing their walk in silence until Ray finally spoke up again.
"How are you doing?"
Alex slowly nodded her head, trying to find the right words to explain her current state. "I'm…doing better." She settled on, hoping it was vague enough for Ray to stop asking questions, "Missing Sara really."
Ray nodded, bringing his hand around her shoulder to pull her into his side. The embrace filled her stomach with the fizzing she usually got when she was around him, and she could feel the tension in her back disappearing.
"I miss her too," Ray admitted, pulling out of the hug. He seemed to get lost in thought before stopping in his tracks, "Hey, I uh, I have a bunch of syllabi I need to look over before tomorrow," He began, his throat moving up and down as he gulped, "You wanna help me look them over?"
The chuckle slid past her lips before she could stop it. Only Ray Palmer could make the most boring task sound somewhat interesting. "Sure," Alex smiled, her teeth peeking through, "Yeah, I'd love to"
Ray responded with a wide smile and they continued their walk, both feeling marginally better than they had before.
"Alright," Alex called from the kitchen, "I'm gonna pour myself a glass of wine and then we can tackle these syllabuses, syllabi?" She shrugged, "Doesn't matter."
Ray peered over the couch to meet Alex's eyes, "Can you pour me one too? I have a feeling I may need it before this is over."
She nodded, reaching to grab an extra glass, warmth expanding in her chest at the thought of spending some more time with Ray.
Friends, she reminded herself. That's all we are. But she's happy with that.
She'll take a friend right about now.
"We only have white!" She called, uncorking the bottle and pouring the golden liquid into the wide glasses. Ray hadn't responded. She hoped that meant he was okay with it.
"Alright, let's get started," She wandered over to the couch, setting the wine glasses down and picking up one of the thirty pieces of paper.
Ray shook his head, immediately going for the alcohol, "It's so boring," A pleasant hum left his lips and he stared at the liquid in the glass in his hands, "This is really good, where'd you get it?"
Alex shrugged, "Sal told me it had peach in it so I bought it."
Ray made a face and took another sip.
Alex went back to examining the paper in front of her.
The syllabus wasn't that bad. He was right, it was a bit boring, but his students wouldn't care.
She would be lying if she said the idea of reading all thirty in one night didn't want to make her fall asleep.
She took another sip from her glass, "Do you really need these?" She waved the paper around, hoping the college he taught at was a bit more progressive than others in the 50s.
Ray nodded his head, rolling his eyes as he took another drink, this one bigger than the last one. "The dean told me I at least need one page, and that includes the legal stuff."
"So just include the legal stuff," She shrugged, leaning back against the couch, tossing the paper carelessly back onto the coffee table, "Maybe the schedule if they need it, but you don't need a whole lot."
Ray seemed to consider her words before rubbing his hands through his hair, his leg bouncing up and down from the stress he was feeling. "I just want them to like me you know?" He confessed, "Not just the students but the other faculty, this could be a big deal for me."
Alex scoffed inwardly, "Why? It's a temporary job," She downed the rest of her drink, "Rip and the others will come back eventually."
Ray didn't respond, his leg still jiggling.
Alex leaned forward, her gut twisting at the realization she had just made. "Unless...you don't think they're coming back?"
"It's been nine months Alex," he finally said, refusing to look at her, "If they were going to come back, they would've."
She stood up in protest, laughing out loud at his lack of hope. He was Ray Palmer, he could make a hurricane look optimistic and now he was just giving up?
"I- I can't believe this!" She burst, "First Sara, then Kendra, and now you? I mean…am I the only one who has any faith here anymore?"
Silence hung over the two of them and Alex scoffed, pacing back and forth. She told herself to breathe in and out. It was the only way she could calm herself down.
She couldn't believe this.
"You re-built the time beacon," She spoke aloud, more to herself than Ray.
"And now it's sitting in the storage closet, collecting dust." He responded, finishing his drink, "I don't like it any more than you do, but we have to start thinking about our future here." Ray urged her to listen to him, his tone pleading, "It's the only feasible one we have right now."
Alex shook her head, sticking her tongue against her cheek. She couldn't think about that.
She wouldn't think like that.
The Legends had given her a purpose again. They had given her hope again.
They would come back for them, she was sure of it.
Swallowing her doubts, she forced herself to take a deep breath, joining Ray on the couch again.
"You misspelled a word," She spoke callously, looking over the paper again.
They hadn't even realized they had fallen asleep until they heard the sound of the door slamming. The loud noise waking both of them up.
Alex was the first one to realize that she was practically pressed against Ray's chest, his arm wrapped around her shoulder.
She turned her attention to the door, where the sound of dropping groceries could be heard crashing against the wooden floor.
"Hey guys," Kendra chuckled mirthlessly, her mouth open in shock, "What, uh, what did I miss?"
Her tone was flat, emotionless. Alex stood up immediately.
"Kendra..."
Ray stared between the two women, oblivious to the tension that was building between them.
"I was tired," He tried to explain, finally understanding the situation, "Uh, Alex was helping me with my syllabi, and we just-"
"-fell asleep together" Kendra finished for him, scoffing at the excuse. Alex moved forward, the other woman taking a step back. "I uh, I think I need some air,"
She left the room as quickly as she entered it and Alex moved to follow her.
"Kendra!" Alex called, running down the stairs of the apartment to catch up with the furious woman. "Kendra wait! It wasn't what it looked like-"
The demigoddess whirled around, eyes blazing, "You think I don't know that?" She asked, her voice shaking, "I know Ray would never cheat. I know you would never act on your feelings-"
"I don't have feelings-"
Alex silenced her protest when she saw Kendra's knowing expression. Guess she wasn't a discreet as she thought.
"I know how you feel about him Alex," Kendra crossed her arms, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "It's pretty obvious."
Alex pressed forward, stepping down the final stair onto the sidewalk, "That doesn't change the fact that he's your boyfriend." She began, swallowing the lump in her throat, "Even if I wanted to, I would never act on my feelings."
"I know," Kendra sighed, biting her cheek as she crouched down to sit on the staircase. The woman placed her head in her hands, curls spilling over her fingers. When she met Alex's gaze again, Kendra was crying.
Alex stumbled back in confusion.
"I wanted you to Alex," Kendra admitted, voice cracking, "I wanted you and Ray to be having some kind of secret affair because…" She trailed off and Alex crouched down beside her, brows creased together, trying to understand what her friend was going on about.
Kendra faced her, exhaling sharply, "...because I wanted a reason to leave Ray."
Well, she wasn't expecting that.
"What?" The word slipped past Alex's lips before she could stop it. She shook her head back and forth, trying to figure out what the hell she had missed. "Why?"
Kendra played with her hands, ignoring the Amazon's stare, "You know how I said I don't remember anything?"
Alex nodded. It was a point of most of their arguments.
"I lied," Kendra admitted, regret flashing across her face, "I've been getting...flashes of my old lifetimes. Of me and Carter." She moved her gaze from the sidewalk to the cement, a slight smile tugging on her lips, "We were happy together." She chuckled at the memory, "I don't think I've ever been that happy in my life."
"And you feel like you're betraying him," Alex finished for her, "That's why you've been so secluded lately."
Kendra nodded, finally meeting Alex's sympathetic stare. Alex bit the inside of her cheek.
"I love Ray, I do." Kendra continued, "But…"
Alex knew what the issue was. "You love Carter more."
The other woman hung her head in her lap, Alex gently stroking her spine.
"Why haven't you told Ray?" Alex finally asked, her gut twisting as she said that, "I'm sure he'd understand. Better than anyone I think."
Kendra faced her again, "You can't tell him," Her tone turned serious, hands grasping Alex's, "Please, this is the happiest he's been in months," She justified, "I can't take that away from him."
Alex's mouth flapped up and down. How could she ask her that? She just confessed to leading Ray on, admitted she wanted to end the relationship, and that she even hoped he was cheating on her. And she just expected Alex to keep all of that a secret?
"Kendra, I-"
"Please," Kendra's hands squeezed her own, fingernails digging into Alex's palms in desperation.
She watched the tears parade down the other woman's face and suddenly she imagined Ray in front of her, breaking down because of the way Kendra felt. Because she had told him the truth.
Kendra was right.
This would break him.
"Fine," Alex sighed, pulling her hands from Kendra's and standing up, "I won't tell him, but you should."
Her boots pounded against the pavement, shaking the staircase with every step she took, somehow feeling like she had made the wrong decision.