He was choking, choking on the hands wrapped around his throat. Panic created fires in his eyes as he had nowhere to look but in the glowing amber eyes of his aggressor.
"You killed him. You killed him, and it should have been you." Harry was sure that he only understood the words because they reflected his own thoughts, spit at him as they were through gritted teeth. This was his own fault; he had been foolish and jumped to conclusion and hadn't used the right channels. They were lucky that Sirius had been the only loss, and yet Harry didn't feel lucky at all.
Remus had held him back at first, stopping him from following Sirius behind the veil into death, but the shock had worn off and Remus saw it as Harry saw it. Somehow Remus believing it made it hurt ten times worse, and that wasn't just because his hands were crushing his voice box.
"Lupin, it isn't Harry's fault. Black chose to come; Black chose to taunt Bellatrix." Some of the grip lessened as Mad-Eye's gruff washed over him, blood dripping from a wound on his arm.
"We shouldn't have had to come." Remus was still more beast that human, his gaze not dropping from Harry's as if he daren't let the boy out of his grasp.
"Granted, but killing the boy isn't going to bring Black back from the veil." Harry hoped that Moody managed to get through to the feral werewolf pinning him to the wall. He was vaguely aware of the rest of the DA and the Order of the Phoenix hovering around the hollow Ministry room, catching Hermione's panicked eyes, the fear in Ron's. He wondered what his own eyes showed them back.
"It'll make me feel better. He deserves to pay. Sirius was all I had left!" Pain rang as an undercurrent to the anger now, Harry's heart bled because it was a sentiment he reflected. He and Sirius, they were going to be a family, and his own foolishness had taken it from him.
"Killing the boy is just going to add to your grief. No one is going to deny that Black was important to you, but he is not all you have left." Moody almost seemed exasperated by now, as if he was trying to talk a toddler down from a tantrum rather than stopping a werewolf from avenging his friend. Albus stepped forwards then.
"Give Harry to us, Remus, he's bleeding quite heavily from his chest by the looks of it." Remus went to take a step away then, as if common sense was finally permeating the werewolf. Harry watched as Moody and Dumbledore signalled to the rest of the Order to get the DA out of there, the low popping of Apparation the only sign there had been a change in the room.
"Sirius was troubled Remus, he came to war with his head still in the last one, this is tragic, but Sirius would not want you to kill his Godson in your anger." Remus sighed, looking to Albus with a nod. But looking up also brought the veil back into his eyesight. Harry thought he was safe, that Dumbledore had succeeded but seconds later, Harry was flying through the air, wind and Remus' snarling the only sounds that registered. Soon that disappeared as well to be met by empty grey fog. Nothing but the fog.
Remus had never known grief like it. Thought that his pain was over and done with once he had been reunited with Sirius two years ago. But now he was gone too, his last connection stripped from him. He had always thought himself mild-mannered until he had smelt Harry's blood once the shock had worn off. He had lost all control, the fear shown in Harry's eyes feeding the beast within. He deserved the fear, they were only here because of him.
It was all because of Harry, first Jamie and Lily-Flower, even Peter, gone and corrupted, then Siri, imprisoned for years on end. He should have been free but because of Harry once again Peter had been freed and Sirius had been trapped. And now they were here, and Sirius was dead or stuck in an endless limbo, whatever became of those in the veil.
In another life Harry would have been his honorary cub, his Godson, the way Sirius had seen the boy in his short two years with him. In another life Lily and James and Sirius would be alive and Peter wouldn't have been a traitor. But this wasn't some other life, and in this life, Remus had never hated someone as much as he hated Harry Potter in this moment.
Albus and Moody they tried, they really did, there words did not lessen the pain or even the hate. But they allowed thought in, and he could only see the look of disgust on Sirius' face for what he was doing to his pup. He could see the horror in Lily's eyes, the fury in James' as he murdered his friends' sons with his bare hands. Memories had nearly saved him, but then he had looked up, his eyes seeing Albus and then behind him the Veil. Seeming so innocent, the curtain in front of it flowing in a non-existent breeze.
Albus did not get time for any more words then, he lost sight of the whole world, he grabbed Harry, a snarl pulling itself out of his chest as he ran full speed towards the veil. He was not young nor overly lithe, but he was not crippled like Alastor nor old like Albus and they failed to catch him, maybe they were almost afraid.
Remus wondered why they did not try spells, or maybe they had, and he had erected shields without even knowing it, but all he knew was that he succeeded. With Harry in hand, he threw himself at the veil until all he saw and all he felt was grey fog.
The DA had never seen Albus Dumbledore look so defeated, not even when he had been ousted from his position as Headmaster had his twinkle dulled. They were all in the infirmary, either being treated from their injuries or hovering protectively, much to Pomfrey's disapproval, over their comrades.
Ron and Neville stood to attention as the man entered, somehow looking older than their 15 years in that moment.
"Where's Harry? Is he been treated elsewhere?" Ron was the designated spokes person as it seemed. They had expected Harry to come here too, but Albus was alone and no one had followed.
"I think this is a conversation that should wait until you are all better." His voice was quiet, placating but not as calm as always. Luna from her infirmary bed interrupted before Ron who had been ready to demand answers.
"We need to know headmaster. None of us faced psychological injury so healthy bodies will protect us no more from bad news." Her voice had been gentle and sad, as if she already knew this would not be something easy to hear.
The headmaster, looking old to the students for the first time, settled heavily into his seat. His head bowed.
"We almost managed to talk Remus around, he had stepped away from the boy, however when he looked away from Harry, he saw the veil. He took himself and Harry through the veil, neither mine nor Alastor's spells would hit the pair. I'm sorry." Dumbledore left, he could not bare to hear the children sob, not when he wanted to himself.
In this world, hope was lost. Voldemory rejoiced when the realisation the saviour was dead was gone. The DA still fought, but slowly but surely, they were picked off along with the Order. Voldemort ruled magical Britain, muggles and wizards alike perishing until Voldemort had superior control.
But, in another life, Lily and James and Sirius lived. In another life Peter never betrayed his friends. In another life Remus Lupin had a Godson by James and Lily and that boy was his cub. In another life beyond the veil happiness was to be found.
I've had a bit of a feel for one-shots lately. Weirdly enough this idea came from a story where Fleur was obsessed with Harry to the point she killed all his admirers. I'm not sure how that led me to here, but the mind is a funny thing.