"And that's why"
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The reunion was unique, a gradual reflection that made him feel like he was plummeting, simulating a fall from heaven itself in slow motion speed. He experienced that moment on low heat, allowing it to cook at low intensity and then increase its power and that those emotions that traveled through his body sprang up sporadically. In almost insane extremes.
It wasn't something he expected, or perhaps imagining that Todoroki was actually his savior.
However, both were on the same channel, on the same page, hanging on the same tune disguised as friendship, since both knew each other from before and therefore, it was no longer compared to the friendship he had with Uraraka and Iida, and less of his friendship with Kacchan; that friendship was very clear that it was different from all the others.
And Midoriya knew that.
He knew that his relationship with Kacchan was a secret, one that hung from his spirit and existed rooted in silence, behind a corner where Kacchan invited him and he attended to see him, to feel his soft caresses run across his cheeks, the feeling as he passed his thumbs on his freckles, outlining them, detailing them, and his lips brushing his in a faint but wonderful dance that took him away from reality for a few moments.
He didn't know why his heart raced so much, or why he liked hugging him to feel safe.
He didn't know what happened to him when it came to Kacchan.
And so, he started by drifting away from him, even though he knew it was cruel, since Kacchan loved him. He loved him very much and he began to notice him frequently, and on the surface of everything, it was only enough to see him when they faced All Might, which at first they couldn't agree on a strategy and Kacchan was hurt at first, but he regained his composure, and he rescued his childhood friend and then they put together a plan to fight his mentor.
There he saw that Kacchan was not a bag of bulky words, but saw that he truly loved him as he claimed to do, and proved it by risking his life to save him, to keep him safe.
And he thought: Kacchan loves me.
With that, his cheeks lit up in a crimson-red tinted reflection, his eyes widened, and his mind went blank.
The only thing that invaded his head was that phrase.
Kacchan loves me.
And later, when he saw that he risked everything to win and to keep him unharmed, he fell unconscious in the middle of the exam. Seeing that, Midoriya reciprocated by taking a risk and hitting All Might in the face and taking with him the unconscious body of Kacchan, of his first kiss, of his childhood friend, carrying him in his arms, even though he didn't know the reason why he adored Kacchan's kisses and caresses.
He remembered that when Kacchan woke up, his harsh red eyes of intense looking, looked for him eager to see him, while he was simply lying on the other stretcher of the clinic, resting his riddle back.
"Deku!" He exclaimed worriedly, directing those crimson eyes, trying to reach his hand and reach for him. He saw him moan in pain, and complain.
"Kacchan" He issued, seeing the concern expressed by the aforementioned. "Don't move, it will hurt more" He advised in a comforting tone, but he chose to extend his hand in search of taking his.
"Shut up" He grumbled haughtily. "Give me your hand" He ordered thirsty to touch it; and Midoriya, seeing the need not to make him angry, or at least he believed, obeyed and gave him his hand, from which he took it, clinging to him with eagerness.
"You hurt yourself a lot, Kacchan" Midoriya expressed dismayed.
"Hah!" He huffed nonchalantly. "This is nothing to me"
"You took a big risk." The two looked at each other in that span, in that sense that their eyes met reflexively.
"You know why I did it" He mentioned, lacing his fingers between his hand, imprisoning him. Midoriya looked at him questioningly, to which he added: "Because I like you, stupid, that's why I did it"
"What?" He felt himself blush and his heart made the movement it did when Kacchan said those things to him, or when he touched him softly. It throbbed at full frequency, at high dimensions that would explode.
"You know that very well, nerd" He referred, and placed a kiss on the back of his hand, causing his blush to increase. "I won't allow anything bad to happen to you while you are with me"
Midoriya crouched down, so embarrassed that he could die.
"I-I know" He stuttered.
His eyes caught a glimpse of Kacchan's smile, who held his hand the entire time they were in the Recovery Girl's clinic, clinging to him with no intention of letting go of his grasp.
Midoriya was glancing at him, not knowing if those he corresponded his feelings or not, but he knew that getting rid of him had to be an option, because it was not correct to hurt Kacchan.
So he started to drift away from him, to look for silly excuses for not having to see each other, and that aggravated everything.
He described his situation as covering the sun with a finger.
In short, a flight without escape…
Midoriya closed his eyes when he witnessed a sunset, and what he saw in that world full of darkness turned red, transformed into his intoxicating summer solstice, as dry rose petals fell and withered roses fell in outstanding zigzags.
The fragments he lost on separating from Kacchan were real, he knew them so real, and he felt so real that he defined the bed of being alone. Glimpsed and alone.
Midoriya bluntly closed his eyes, clinging to not seeing what he didn't want to see, to hiding among the shadows that resided on his eyelids, to staining the walls in another black color, in another vague sense, of which his life was now enveloped.
Midoriya closed his eyes and did not contemplate what was happening around him; it was a beautiful misfortune, an open wound that was filled with bitterness, a smile without any meaning, more than seeing it.
He didn't understand anything, he didn't suspect anything, he didn't find in his logic an answer to all his questions because there were no questions to answer himself, other than dedicate himself to stamping his face against the wall until he broke, and breaking the rest of his body.
He didn't understand what was happening inside him, since everything was confused, so blurred and his eyes blurred with tears that detailed the path of his cheeks until they landed on the ground.
He had no future goals to solve because one of the goals he had set for himself had already been solved, and he was the best friend of Todoroki.
However, believing that it would fill that void, he realized that this was not the case.
That emptiness remained seated in his oppressed chest, there throbbing as if he had a life separate from his, but that clung against him, entangling him in cutting silk, in sharp silk.
And so, he closed his eyes.
He closed his eyes so as not to see his own pain, his own emptiness.
Midoriya was motivated when he learned that he would go to the summer camp from the school, and it would not be a common camp, but would have elements related to teaching them to be better heroes, to improve the resistance and power of their Quirks.
In short, an opportunity that presented itself to him as a distraction from his stormy thoughts, a distraction so that everything ended within him.
Perhaps he would gain enough confidence to face Kacchan head-on, to find out for once his feelings for his childhood friend, to discover through his kisses what bound him so much to his mercy.
In short, the camp had every intention of making him reflect on what had him tormented himself.
His friends were as excited as he was, and in turn, they went to buy in the mall everything they needed for the said camp.
Also, they were accompanied by Kacchan's friends, without him included, something that caused another emptiness in his chest, another that would eat him alive, or paralyze him from feeling human.
Kacchan's friends were not at all like his character, much less his temperament, so it seemed strange to Midoriya to see them get along and that Kacchan's explosive character had been reduced, a detail that never happened with him.
As he became aware of these events, another emotion arose, a rare and horribly painful emotion, another emotion that filled his head with bad thoughts.
That emotion was jealousy.
An uncomfortable feeling, which even sickened him from knowing how to suffer it in his own flesh, but it was inevitable to feel jealous of his friends, jealous of not being the one who reduced Kacchan's explosive character, jealous of not being able to be close to him, jealous of not being the one center of attention of him, jealous of not even having his cell phone number, jealous of not being with him.
That feeling of jealousy was fatal, reasons came to him to get further away from him, to avoid him with his eyes, with the excuse of training and becoming stronger.
Pure excuses as long as he didn't feel jealous.
It was jealousy that made him lose himself in a timeless sea of blood color, a strong and bright scarlet reddish, an opening originated in the corner of his eyelids, they stopped in gangrene, they amputated. It was jealousy that built his mask of tragedy, those that saddened his features and took his overflowing smile to pieces.
It was jealousy that destroyed him.
And so he drift away from Kacchan.
To the dismay of all his classmates, they were attacked by the league of villains less than three days from the camp, and their amusement and time of distraction were cut short when he learned when fighting Muscular that they were looking for Kacchan. His childhood friend.
His entire world fell apart.
They wanted to take Kacchan away, and for nothing in the world, Midoriya would allow it.
He defeated Muscular, also taking the Kota boy with him, only to warn the others that Kacchan's life was in danger.
Midoriya had never felt terror so present in all its glory since he heard they were looking for Kacchan, and they wanted to have him as part of the league of villains; and he felt so stupid for having driven him away, because if he hadn't, Kacchan would be accompanying him right now and would not be in the company of Todoroki.
The fear of mortals, the sunset of the night, biting the hook with bloody teeth, seizing a narrow cry, sighing loose stone. Each beat of his heart resounded with sublime fear to save his childhood friend, each sound, each rustle of the leaves made him want to wake up.
Midoriya wanted to wake up from that living nightmare, he wanted to wake up in Kacchan's arms.
And in the midst of all that scattered mist, seeing him disappear into an adjacent black cloud that absorbed him whole, he knew that he also corresponded to Kacchan's feelings.
He realized that he loved Kacchan.
That his heart was beating fervently because he loved Kacchan, that his cheeks lit up because his childhood friend's hands caressed him, because his arms always wrapped him tightly, because when he saw his back, he wanted to hug him from behind and feel him safe with him again.
His world broke, and if he didn't save Kacchan, that immense loneliness wouldn't stop growing.
That same loneliness that forced him to change his skin, to change his shell, and formally put on his mask of tragedy, because what he lived when he saw that the person he loved disappeared from his grasp was, in effect, a tragedy.
His life without Kacchan was a complete tragedy.
Midoriya gathered some of his friends to carry out the plan to rescue Kacchan, and as they did so, given the difficulties they had on the road, nothing was impossible for them, especially for him.
His savior Todoroki was with him and if they were together they would both rescue Kacchan.
Everything remained that they had not done anything wrong to him, except hurt him; Furthermore, Midoriya was willing to break all his bones if necessary, if that meant that Kacchan would emerge unscathed from all harm.
He risked everything, everything for him, he threw himself into the void together with Iida and Kirishima, Kacchan's friend, of whom, he was so jealous, but what was he going to do, if that had no remedy, because the cure for easing his discomfort were Kacchan's caresses and seeing him healthy and in one piece.
Midoriya managed to save him, obtaining in return the responsibility of being the next symbol of peace, that is, obtaining the title of being the number one hero.
An immense burden for the young Midoriya, the impact was such that he collapsed and ripped all the layers that occupied him until he was naked of all the possible damage that could affect him.
Being the next symbol of peace unleashed Kacchan's contained fury, which led him to reveal the origin of his Quirk, and in the same way, they ended up fighting with fists and kicks against each other, where each expressed everything that were kept without saying. To express the envy they felt for the other, each absorbed in their own rancor, in their own pain and resignation by the mutual separation between them.
It was a pointless fight, a fight that may not have happened, but it happened.
When Kacchan held him on the ground, preventing him from moving, he knew that this would be his only opportunity to confess, because if he didn't, who knows when he would have another chance to do it and the courage to tell him head-on without retracting from anything. Right after Kacchan proclaimed victory, Midoriya inhaled, prepared to drop the bomb:
"I like you, Kacchan!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, breathing heavily from the force of the combat. The harsh red eyes of his childhood friend stared at him in surprise, absolutely taken under guard.
"What did you say?" He blinked, tensing.
"I like you, Kacchan" He confessed, emphasizing those three words. "I was so blind to admit it." Kacchan's rough hands moved away from his face, and they caressed him suddenly, making his skin prickle, causing electric shocks from every pore. The pain of Kacchan's blows were nothing compared to having stayed away from him. "I understand if you hate me now, or if you don't feel the same anymore"
"What stupidity did you say?" He reproached offended, bringing his forehead closer to his. "You are an idiot, Deku, a reverend idiot!"
"I know" He said decayed.
"And I'm more of an idiot" He growled.
"Eh?"
"Because I still like you" He rushed to give him a quick kiss on the lips, breathing fervently. "You are a damn fool for believing that I hate you, Deku" He scoffed, stroking his bleeding cheek with his fingers. "When I really love you"
They stared at each other, plunging into each other's world, into the world that connected in tune, amending what they had jealously lost.
And so Midoriya didn't drift away from Kacchan.
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P.S. I caught you by surprise because it supposedly had Tododeku feels, and at the same time, Katsudeku.
But since I'm a Katsudeku fan, I had to do it that way. It is inevitable for me to start with a Tododeku fic, which ends up becoming a Katsudeku.