Connie faces her hardest trial yet.
Into the deepest of blues, she floated. The visage of the darkness before her, she could only stare out into the nothingness as her throat clamped up. It wasn't anxiety, it wasn't fear. It was an abstract flow of unheard of feeling that ran from her feet, to her mouth which silenced her. Bubbles popped and the deep bass of the currents filled her ears in their muffled chorus. In a weird way, it was quite relaxing. The cold, wet and the quiet. No screaming, no shouting, not whispers. A blissful existence where every distraction had disappeared. It wasn't the first time she'd been in here either. A mental get away, just for her.
It wasn't until she heard something swim towards her that her full attention snapped to it. Paranoia grew and the illusion was broken. She felt the off rifting pulses like a turbulence effect. What ever it was, it sent chills through her skin. It was then she realized Pink Steven wasn't with her. There was a certain futility in swimming around in a dark void, but Connie had no real choice. Logically, she swam upwards, hoping to see what ever was on the surface. But the higher she got, the noises of the false realities from before began to ring in her ears once again. It got lighter, with the the colour blue blending in with what ever light was scattered from above.
We know there are certain words you want to say... a voice called out. It sounded like...her own..
Multiple black figures shot past her, but she could only see their light blue glowing eyes. The giggles sounded like her too. Connie swallowed as she got extremely uncomfortable listening to herself like that.
There is no escape from it Hope. They said. Hope? Memories of Homeworld sprang up again.
A certain order...a certain song...can the Cosmos of Despair be saved? To become the Universe of Love once again?
It got lighter, until the figures were easier to be seen. She covered her mouth in shock, seeing the uncanny grins and the unsavory chuckles of the greyscale versions of herself that swam before her.
Anxiety swallowed her whole, straining to fight against the open battle with her own mind as she tried to swim up, only to be met with her devious doppelgangers.
Say it. You know you want to...
Connie covered her ears as they chanted it over and over again. She drew her knees to her chest. But the voices got louder and nastier, as she unknowingly started to shake and dig her fingers into her scalp in the attempt to withdraw herself from this sorrowful existence.
You fear to say it because it's true. But you are just a nobody with a gem. You're not a real half gem like he is.
But you're still to prepared to give everything? You don't even live for yourself?
You're a fraud. You are not a real person?
It dug deeper into her than she anticipated.
He doesn't even love you like that.
What makes you think he's not going to fall for someone else?
Connie.
You're listening...
You're drowning...
You want to be with him so bad?
Drown with him.
"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!"
They disappeared as Connie breathed heavily and uncurled herself, looking around as her voice echoed repeatedly in the watery void. She uncurled herself, seeing that her copies had disappeared. A moment of calm...before a pair of black, clawed hands reached for her throat and started to choke her. She could only see the tendrils of hair behind the jet face with its deep red eyes. Connie couldn't breath as she looked up, feeling like her eyes were going to pop out of head. Instead she was met with static obscuring her vision. She kept seeing a field of blue roses within the static itself. Fed up with the nonsense, she could feel energy run through her and felt something form in her right hand. Without hesitation, she mustered her strength to slice through the arms, to see that she managed to summon her sword in this dimension. Both arms and hands vanished as Connie rubbed her neck.
"I am Connie Maheswaran. Always have been...and always will be." She said with shaken confidence.
"You can't dig into my doubt like that. It doesn't work."
Doubt could. But she wouldn't let it. The monsters weren't real. The monsters that appealed to obscurities and obscenities and the clouded thoughts mustered within. A source of evil, made to break her. She wouldn't allow it. The pain was very real however. Under the veil of darkness were unseen nerves touched and rubbed on in the wrong way, It wasn't the water. It wasn't the doors she walked through. It was everything else that broke barriers she had naturally. What humans had naturally and that maybe this was the Curse of Humanity. Gems don't need to sleep so they never had the luxury to escape into their dreams or the desire to escape nightmares. The static of their lives prevented them from confronting the mixed messages their minds gave them. Most were fearful in raising their voice. To challenge their own status quo.
The minute of reprieve allowed her to continue to swim upwards, seeing Pink Steven floating there on his own in the meanwhile. She swam faster to reach up to him. He looked okay as he continued to float there and stare at her like that. She was unnerved on how fast she'd gotten used to that.
"Thank goodness you're alright." She said, instinctively hugging him. She wasn't expecting a response...but she did. He slowly, but surely wrapped his arms around her.
"Your Aura was going dark and I heard you scream. I was going down to get you until the Aura lit up again." He replied.
So they were trying to infect her? She let go of him to speak properly.
"It was?" She questioned.
He nodded. It was risky.
"As we go deeper, your Heart is fusing with mine." He explained.
A weirder version of Stevonnie? No. Connie was not ready for that. But...could he feel? Could he see what she could not?
"Tell me...if that is true...can you feel the fear? Can you feel pain?" She asked.
He stared at her for a good moment, though she wondered if he was trying to figure out the words to say, or he was ignoring her.
"Your fear is my fear. Your pain is my pain. Fused Hearts share the same burdens." He answered.
Him dancing with his human side and seeing his smile as he embraced himself previously did come to mind. Did he truly understand the meaning of the word hearts in this case?
"What is the meaning of our Hearts then?" She continued to prod in a series of questions she was prepared to both receive and not receive.
"I use Hearts in the context of our truer selves. This form does not possess a Heart. I reach out to other Hearts my other self has connected to previously in order to function. I can reach out to familiar auras as well. Your Heart is the first one I think of and the closest and most familiar to bond with. I take what both Hearts hold as a type of logical construction of who I am supposed to be; to build an identity and purpose. Or else I am of no real use other than defending myself."
If anything else, Connie felt this version of him was fascinating. An unrestrained Steven saying what he thinks without pause. It was uncanny and very unlike him. But it was like he plucked out what he could potentially already know. The logic created of what he knew and could translate. He was smarter than he gave himself credit for.
"You've been thinking about this a lot..." She noted.
"It is an interpretation based on experiences I had thought of and what other Hearts perceive." He said.
Neither truth or lie, but an assumption born from his memories and hers. Amazing. There was no one else like him to make claim otherwise. It'd just be a theory, but a theory was better than nothing.
"We're not far now."
Connie nodded as she took his hand and swam upwards. They continued to swim until they could see the surface ripples. She swam faster, until they reached the surface.
They'd swam up to the top onto a realm of watery grounds and sparkling stars on an indigo sky. Once on the surface, they could put their feet down on the gushing water, effortlessly walking on it. Connie could see the shining stars above, but they felt more like eyes that beamed down from above, that watched their every move. She gave Pink Steven a tight squeeze as they moved forward. It was like a platform that looked over the Earth in all its beauty. Connie knew they were in the mesosphere by this point.
Pink Steven let go of her as he slowly made his way to the middle of the platform. Connie watched on as he stared downwards, then raised his arm and faced his palm towards it. Just as she was on the cusp of understanding him, he always had to evade her attempts completely. Unintentional, but frustrating. It wasn't anything out of the norm, but she could at least case it as a gem thing. She hoped.
The waters bubbled as Connie almost fell over due to the shakes. From beneath the waters she could see something dark and pink arise. It...it was him. No illusion of Black Diamond or his Aura. The Human Heart of Steven Universe.
He was on his hands and knees as he was brought up completely, chained around his neck and hands with onyx clasps. Pink Steven stood over him as he looked up. Connie froze as human Steven's sorrowful expression pierced her. His face was gaunt and he had huge bags under his eyes as his skin was deathly pale. She ran over and knelt beside him, put her hands on his cold cheeks as he struggled to look at her. His pupil's were extremely narrow as his mouth was half-gaped.
"Y-you're here...both of you...you can't stay." He warned them, his voice coarse.
Connie rubbed his cheeks in assurance as she sat on her folded legs.
"We want to help you." She declared, unable to prevent her own tears from falling.
Human Steven's eyes swirled to his gem counterpart...raising his shirt to reveal the Black Diamond gem in his stomach. Pink Steven then looked at Connie, who put his hand on her forehead and brushed away her hair to reveal hers. Human Steven couldn't believe it. Pink Steven was connecting to her Heart again...both of their Hearts.
"Connie...what...did they...what did they do to you?" Steven asked as he cried. He wanted to reach for her head, but the chain prevented him from doing so. She shouldn't have been surprised to see the new gem in his old ones place, but she was. She could see black veins that popped out around it, fading outwards on his torso.
"I should be asking you that question." She pointed out. It wasn't about her.
Steven then looked at his pink self as he struggled to reach out to him, desiring his light.
"I can't believe I'm...I'm in this position again...humiliating..." He replied as he let his hand drop to the ground.
"You've been restraining the Lillim in this position." Pink Steven pointed out.
That was random.
"Black Diamond is a Lillim Gem who controls the Lillim forces. You have been its Heart. But there is another Heart fighting you. You have been fighting this conflict."
Connie just had to roll with what Pink Steven was saying, as she turned back to Human Steven for a more...sensible explanation. Although his gem didn't make it that complex as she thought he did.
"He's...I'm right." Human Steven replied.
"It's not...It's not been easy...but I...I..."
Steven started to breath heavily as his back popped repeatedly. Those breaths turned into cough...coughs turned into violent coughs that sounded awful, as he spat up a tar like substance from within. He clutched his stomach as he scrunched his eyes and started hyperventilating. He breathed out grunts of pain in between as his hand turned jet and his fingernails that turned into claws. His grunts turned into animalistic growls. Pink Steven pushed his hand against his forehead, somehow pushing back the transformation process and reversing it. Steven's breath slowed into slight intervals, before he started to bawl his eyes out. Connie clutched her chest, not being to able to fathom the amount of absolute devastation this was causing.
"The Unknown Heart is trying to fuse with his." Pink Steven explained.
"This has been going on for some time."
Connie simply allowed him to cry into her shoulder, as she rubbed his head.
"What can we do though? We can't leave you like this." Connie called out.
Her senses picked up the amount of strife that pulled him down. They had to do something...and fast. Steven moved back as Connie wiped his tears with her index finger. If she could get him to focus.
"I...I...I..." He stammered as he looked into her eyes. He was still there. He was still Steven. The fight wasn't lost if he still remained. There had to be a way to fix it. But the intensity of his stare dug deeper than she had anticipated. Her core erupted like a volcano as she'd fallen even further, under the clause of her subconscious feelings. He winced, only to stare at her Gem again.
"I want...I don't want... you need to...you have to..."
He closed his eyes briefly, then opened them to reveal Black Diamonds.
"You do not want to do that...I need you..." He threatened, his voice holding several inflections.
He glared at Connie, who fell backwards in response to his angered manner as he tried to choke her, only for the chains to pull him back.
"I won't let you hurt my friends!" Steven called out as his eyes returned to normal.
Black Diamond obviously had an idea of what he meant, fighting for control once again.
"THEY HURT YOU!" He roared.
"I'VE SEEN WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO YOU...DONE TO ME...DONE TO US! I'M YOUR ONLY ESCAPE! I'M YOUR ONLY FRIEND!"
This terrified Connie to no end. It wasn't just seeing Steven screaming those words, but the inability to solve it peacefully, like he wanted to. Steven took control in that silence that followed as he remained deathly still.
"You can be my friend too if we just...stop this fighting." Steven said, with his voice low.
"SHE WON'T LET US..." Black Diamond cried.
That can only mean one person.
Lilith.
"Then we talk to her." Steven suggested.
"SHE'LL BE WORSE THAN WHITE DIAMOND. She isn't...a gem...you're not able to...CONNECT...to her." Black Diamond stated.
Connie and Pink Steven exchanged glances. Black Diamond held the same sources of logicality like he did.
"Black Diamond." Connie voiced.
"You're not Steven. You're not his right gem."
The piercing eyes of the dark force were almost too much for Connie to bare, as if she insulted his very existence. Greyscale figures of individuals Steven knew and loved emerged out of the waters, one by one. Each of them a different Crystal Gem, standing straight with the same exact fury in their faces and Diamond eyes.
"I see the memories etched into my gem. I see the words behind the doors..."
Even the fusions popped up. Stevonnie, Smoky Quartz, Rainbow Quartz 2.0, Sunstone and Obsidian formed behind them all.
Then...
A huge onyx colored shape rose up after Obsidian did. A feminine form of long, tendrils of hair, red eyes and giant claws.
"I see everything the Universe has to offer, Hope Diamond." He said as his voice changed in between to Liliths, speaking in sync.
"Hope is here to destroy the despair with it's curse!"
Connie took Pink Steven's hand, who then rose his spare to shine his light on the fakes before them. He poured it out to blast each of them away into smoke, but not before the screeches were distilled in their ears. One by one one, they were swiftly destroyed by the power of the Pink Diamond, until Steven rejoined them as he had his palms firmly played against the ground as he took inhaled deeply with cut off whimpers. Connie ran over again, fearless as Steven attempted to regain what little composure he could. The fact that he had to fight both Black Diamond and Lilith at the same time and for this long, took incredible courage and tenacity. Problem was, would he be even capable of resisting further? Time was running out and Steven's willpower was growing thin.
"What does she m-mean? You got caught too?" Steven stammered as he looked at her gem.
How could she even begin to explain? That this all planned? Then it hit her. Hard and fast like an arrow to her chest. Her heart dropped on the realization that the prophecy was meant for her to do this. To fight Steven. She fell to her knees as her eyes went wide.
"Connie, please I need you to talk to me! I...I can't do this on my own." He pleaded.
To clear the Cosmos of Despair of its binds. Hope to destroy the despair. It couldn't mean...killing him, would it? Was that what it was trying to tell her? Her heart hurt so badly she could feel the darkness returning as she covered her mouth with her hands to prevent herself from the overwhelming urge to sob.
Despair is an illusion of hopelessness and can be nothing more than a heavyweight in your Heart.
"I...the Prophecy...no..." Connie said, trying to make sense of it all. This. Was. Not. About. Her. She shook it off and glanced at Steven with ferocity as she grabbed his shoulders.
"Steven I took this on to rescue you. I took the risk to set you free. Lilith nor Black Diamond nor anyone will take you away from me!"
Steven blinked twice, until Connie noticed what she said and felt her cheeks heat up.
"I mean, -fr-from me and everyone who cares for you and loves you for who you are...not what you are. I only ask to remain by your side as you to remain by mine. I'm not sure what will happen but we can find out, together...right?"
A smile, no matter how small it was, formed on his face. It granted her warmth to her spirit. Anything to make him feel better.
"Right...Jam buds stick together? Right?" He said, his voice still coarse though with a bit more sprightliness.
Connie returned the gesture.
"Right!" She said with a nod.
That much she knew was true. Very much so. He cleared his throat and made new resolve within himself. It was time for them to make a plan and hopefully with luck, they would have no interruptions.
"So...any ideas how we can get this fixed?"
Steven proposed to get the diamond out of his stomach the same way they put it in. A machine that popped it into him by force, but they would require taking his body to a special room behind Storage Room Twelve. Connie explained that Peridot managed to hack inside for access. Then once the Diamond was removed that he would be able to fuse with his gem again. It wouldn't be easy; Connie wasn't that naive. She would need the full world of courage to break through.
"You need to get out there." He told her.
"You need to fight the battles I can't. Lilith's...Lilith...oh no not again..."
Intervals between each mental battle as Lilith kept up with her consistency as Steven violently shook, his body twisted and misshapen from her attempts to subdue his spirit; His Heart.
A mind, body and spirit meant to work in flux, but in this case the Heart fought for control of the Aura and raw power of the gem itself. If only she could give him more Hope she like had before.
Chains shot out of the waters in their attempt to clamp themselves on to Connie and Pink Steven. The former dodged and weaved her way, using her agility to escape the clamps, meanwhile the later took the chains and broke them with little effort as he pulled out. He summoned his shield to protect himself from the dozens, then hundreds of chains that headed his way. Connie summoned her blade as she cut the chains that kept appearing over and over again. She heard human Steven scream, with Connie turning her head to see him being dragged back into the water again. She bolted towards in the feeble attempt to save him, only for Pink Steven to drag her in his shield.
"I'm losing my grip" He yelled in the semblance of his lucidity.
"Black Diamond has to listen and fight back against Lilith. It's the only way."
Dozens of gangly onyx hands gushed out of the water as they took hold of his body and forced him to go under. The world became abrupt, rattled with colours shifting and changing constantly under the throes of the messy chaos. Each of the stars burst out like light bulbs with the shards falling like black tulip petals. The skies fractured alongside them, revealing grey clouds behind them. Connie clung on to Pink Steven as the noise became too much for her. It took a few minutes to stop until Connie opened her eyes.
It looked like Rose's Room. Only befitting the broken dark nature of Black Diamond instead; in shades of violet.
"Black Diamond." Pink Steven called out.
"We would speak with you."
Out of the clouds, formed several white-ish spheres, until he formed before them in Steven's shape.
"You aren't supposed to be...be...here." The Dark Gem said. His face twisted, holding more emotion than Pink Steven.
"Neither are you." Connie stated.
The atmosphere was so tense in room meant to be soft. A dire world of the creative sort. A room forged for the dwellers of the dark, meant to submit to the wishes of its owner. It was Steven, but which one controlled it right now? The Pink and Black Diamonds stared at each other, as if the galaxies greatest war was about to start and going from their power alone, they were ready to take the world as collateral.
Neither would care how much damage could be done. They had only but a single desire above all else... a battle for the Heart and Mind of Steven Universe.
The ever returning whispers filled the air as the arguments sounded between the two, while Connie was still stuck in the mentality of her human psyche to even debate their apparent laws in logic.
"I am already here." Black Diamond stated.
"Defiance is futile."
Connie was than prepared to fight as she pulled out her sword. Black Diamond unceremoniously summoned Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond replicas.
"It is not defiance." Pink Steven stated.
"You are not me. You are but the copy of me. Unstable. For what your purpose serves it is not curated for my body."
Pink Steven was right, to an extent. On how they made Black Diamond to begin with was a story she wanted to know.
"I was created. I was born. I hold the earliest days." Black Diamond claimed.
"I remember the days of Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz. I am more complete than you'll ever be."
That didn't necessarily mean that he was complete. He just held more...data as Peridot would put it.
"Steven is neither Rose Quartz or Pink Diamond." Connie replied.
"He knows that he is himself. No one else."
Everything that happened with White Diamond solidified it and erased every trace of doubt. This...entity was fooled to thinking like this.
"You can be Black Diamond. You can be Black Rose. You can be Black Steven. You are not me." Pink Steven stated.
"Only I can define me. This is my Heart. That is a fact."
This wasn't going to work. Each of them were too stubborn to back away. The only factor they had was Connie herself and while they could stand here and argue, there were wasting time. Only Connie was the unstoppable force between two unmovable objects.
"I don't want to hurt you." Connie called out. She wished there was another way, but she had to push Black Diamond away. Pink Steven held no doubt. Black Diamond didn't either, as if they had the inability to doubt themselves, even if they were told a hundred reasons why, the logic on those would never be considered. Connie steeled herself, grasping on her blade tightly as she stood in between them and scowled at Black Diamond. If he couldn't be persuaded through true logic, then she'd have to resort to her own constructed logic.
"Connie." Black Diamond said.
"You can not want to hurt the real Steven. You are not meant to be here. Your Aura has nothing to do with me."
No. That's where he was wrong.
"Connie comes from my Aura." Pink Steven told him.
"I connect to my Heart and to Connie's Heart. You do not connect to her and that is how you are nothing to me."
Did he really believe that? Of course he did, but was that an actual fact unto itself?
"Connie has been connected to me for a long time. You are blind to that fact because she is Human. You have not experienced the Human programming from birth. You have pre-processed data within your Aura to forces you to have the perception of being the real me and the real time memories of who was once Pink and who was once Rose. You think this, you think you know this. Your truth is not the real truth."
This made Connie's head spin. To believe the lie so hard that you wholeheartedly accept it as the one core fact that solidifies ones existence. She then had an idea.
"I will listen to the only commands of the true Steven. That I am his Knight." Connie explained as she pointed her blade towards Black Diamond.
"My will is his voice alone. You can't command me unless you're the real Steven."
Black Diamond glared at her as he walked towards her. She raised her sword in defense and stepped back as he got closer. He raised his hand, summoning a Dark Connie from behind her, which grabbed her shoulders and threw her to side. More Connie's appeared into existence as they glared at her with black eyes. Connie crawled backwards with a new fear that almost paralyzed her, as Black Diamond began to attack Pink Steven. The Dark Connie's then got hold of her body, as one of them mimicked her new half-breed from, and placed her hand on her forehead, towards her gem and charged an energy into it. The world begun to glitch out as Connie screamed and kicked about, her vision distorting as her mind began to fracture under Black Diamonds power.
"Then I am forced to make you see reason."
Imagery flashed her eyes again in short bursts. Sounds of the whisper and the static and echoes of otherworldly noises brought havok to her senses. Her screams were either cut off or spliced and the chants of those she knew were brought from the vestiges of her subconscious memories. Her parents, the gems, horrible cranky teachers and people she had forgotten about in ages past.
Hope is nothing without action. It encourages laziness and dependence on a hollow concept that things will get better.
Lilith.
Humans are but the Curse to bring that concept to life. Life will get better. How? Why? There is no plan. There is no reason for this to exist. Are you waiting for it to happen at the right place at the right time? What happened to being proactive? What Humans think is a protective bubble until their reality improves in its own. It will not get better. It cannot be better. Why not accept your fate? Why not let those strong enough make their actions true?
Steven doesn't need Hope. He needs a new part of himself where he can be truer than true. That his reality made flesh...made gem, to dominate others. He's fallen to his fears and own generic brand of stupidity. Weak. His Heart cannot merge with his Aura unless he accepts the darkness into it. The Dark Aura of the Lillim will make all life better...make the life of those who depend on him, to make them fall into line like gems should be. Without Hope, they will take his action without question.
Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl appeared in her vision with their darkened eyes.
Black Diamond will erase all hope and all doubt. Absolute certainty.
"YOU LEAVE HER ALONE."
Steven?
Why does he cling onto this? I'm saving you. I'm saving your Heart. Your Aura is bent out of shape. Mutated from the Pink Diamond Gem and forced to take on the power of another so foreign to you that it will kill you. Slowly.
"THAT'S NOT TRUE, CONNIE PLEASE WAKE U-"
Silence!
Her spirit was a bedlam of disharmony, too much visual stimulation as it nearly overloaded her brain.
The Real Connie Maheswaran is a good girl, isn't she? Your mother and father would be happy for you to fall into line.
"NO. They know now I need my independence! They're much better than that now...so I can be better for them...they are proud of me!" Connie called out with the only fraction of her being in what ever this existence had become.
WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY DAUGHTER?
"Mother?" Connie cried, hearing her moms voice and see her form towering over her within flashing pictures.
"THAT'S NOT HER CONNIE, WAKE UP!" Steven called from afar.
She found herself in the dark waters again, surrounded by few dozen Dark Connies swimming about, with their devilish, inhuman giggles and grins, each possessing a set of their own crimson eyes.
Can you feel it? Once you accept it, you'll be better. You'll be happier. Promise.
She heard growling rumble in the flow of the currents, seeing a much larger monster that lurked in the back ground that kept its on eyes on her, observing her as the Dark Connie's shrilling, banshee like laughs pierced through her like a knife through butter. She felt something push her back as the monster came closer, with the Dark Connie's moving out of the way as she came through. Her form looked amphibian in texture, with plashes of burgundy on her form, otherwise she had a very curvaceous and alien figure. Her hair was of the tendrils and danced in the currents. She held a sharp toothed grin as Connie realized that she being carried in the monsters hand.
White Diamond was a weak-minded fool. Soon, I will take all three of you to Homeworld and the war there shall be glorious. Diamond against Diamond.
Her claw reached for Connie's gem. Connie tried so hard to fight back, but all these mental battles had worn her out. Her mind couldn't take it anymore. Hope to become Despair.
It wasn't until a force dragged Lilith back as a pair of monstrous greyish arms with white patched clung onto Lilith's torso. Each of the Dark Connie's broke apart, limb from limb and body part by body part until they melted away from existence. Connie held herself and fell into the well of the void quickly as she brought her knees to her chest and started to cry again.