Miranda was exhausted as she sat in front of her terminal, composing yet another after-action mission report for Cerberus Command.
During the ensuing nineteen days since Miranda had slipped quietly from Shepard's bed after their impromptu romantic encounter, the Normandy had been extraordinarily busy.
It started with the delivery of a dossier from Cerberus Intelligence, detailing another prospective squad member, which had prompted the Commander to send the ship rushing off deep into geth-occupied space. Arriving in orbit around the distant planet Haestrom, Shepard and his team fought through intense resistance, but eventually succeeded in extracting Tali'Zorah vas Neema and relieved the severely depleted quarian SpecOps team she was attached to.
Following a minor skirmish with geth patrols as they fled the Dholen system, they had immediately set out to help Zaeed Massani settle some ugly business on the planet Zorya and fulfill the prior commitments the Commander and Cerberus had made to the mercenary. Afterward, a stop on the Citadel allowed for re-provisioning and for Shepard to help out both Garrus and Thane with highly sensitive personal obligations. And finally, Samara had received the break she had been waiting for and had urged the Normandy to divert back to Omega in order to intercept the fugitive she had been pursuing for more than four centuries.
But after all the hectic rushing about the galaxy and urgent pleas for help from the crew, the truly pivotal leg of their recent journeys had originated from the quiet confines of Miranda's office.
While the Normandy was still docked on Omega, Miranda endeavored to remain busy and distracted by sifting through the ceaseless data feeds her high-level security clearance entitled her access to when she chanced upon a crucial piece of intel; A Cerberus automated listening post had intercepted encrypted comm buoy data fragments between Shadow Broker agents that contained hints to the whereabouts of the infamous broker. Even more astonishing, was the reference made to a certain former drell asset. It was Feron, a Shadow Broker agent that Cerberus had turned more than two years ago and who had been instrumental in the recovery of Shepard's body. Miranda thought that Feron surely had been killed, but the intercept suggested he was still alive.
Understanding that for the better part of the last two years, Shepard's close friend and former lover, Liara T'Soni, had been searching for both the Shadow Broker and for what had happened to the drell, Miranda acted on impulse. She seized the data packets containing the intel and then took steps to eradicate traces of the intercept from Cerberus archives before any other human analyst set eyes on it. Once she felt comfortable that her tracks had been sufficiently covered, she then forwarded the intel directly to Shepard's private terminal, ensuring the message was safeguarded from all on-board Cerberus snooping protocols.
Shepard had immediately recalled the remaining crewmembers still lingering on Omega and set out for Illium at maximum speed. Rather than trust a comm session from the Normandy that surely would be monitored, he delivered the intel personally to T'Soni and initiated a series of events so astounding that Miranda was still wrapping her mind around all that had occurred. If she hadn't been there herself to see the fearsome yahg taken down and Liara subsequently seize control of the Shadow Broker intelligence network, she might not have believed the tale.
It was the end of an exhilarating and grueling several weeks, but Miranda was thankful for it. All the activity served brilliantly as an excuse for her to largely keep her distance from Shepard and avoid having to confront the implications of their impulsive, passionate night together. She was still reeling from the experience and struggling to understand how things had gotten so… complicated.
Looking back, ever since Shepard had helped pull her out of the fire on Illium and safely deliver Oriana to safety, there had undoubtedly been a constant, barely restrained tension between the two. Miranda had no illusions about that. But she had been writing off most of the thinly veiled flirting as merely fulfilling the Illusive Man's instructions to get closer to the Commander, drawing him in and enhancing his investment to their cause.
But ever since she had stormed up to his quarters in the wake of her confrontation with Jack, Miranda had questioned what her real motivation had been. Was she simply engaging her commanding officer to discuss the destabilizing nature of one of the crew? Or was she finally prepared to follow her uncomfortable orders through to fruition and manipulate the man with a sexual relationship. Or perhaps she had merely been engaging in an impulsive, lustful act that nearly every other woman on the Normandy would have jumped at the opportunity for.
Despite all her efforts to avoid the truth while hiding under a mountain of administrative duties, maintenance reports, and training exercises, Miranda knew full well the answer to her question.
The truth was that what had taken place in Shepard's cabin that night had occurred because she wanted it to happen. She wanted him.
But that was ridiculous, wasn't it?
Prior to his apparent death at the hands of the Collectors, the man would not have hesitated for a moment to end her existence along with the rest of the unfortunate Cerberus personnel that had crossed his path during the original Normandy's hunt for Saren. And now she had slept with him! And now she was falling in… No! That was absurd. She was Miranda-fucking-Lawson. Ice Queen. Cold-hearted bitch that could slay a man with nothing more than the daggers shot from her withering glare. The genetically perfect daughter of a megalomaniac that had instilled in her the same relentless drive and determination for excellence. A Cerberus operative so skilled and adept that she was counted as one of the Illusive Man's most trusted—and feared—advisors.
No, goddamnit! She did not allow emotions to rule her or engage in trivial romantic liaisons.
And she most certainly did not fall in bloody love!
But she had. Good god, she had.
And now that emotional entanglement she had diligently fought against had bled over into her professional life, clouding her commitment to the organization whose agenda she had sworn to advance and ideals to defend.
Miranda had known how much the Illusive Man would covet the Shadow Broker intelligence she had re-routed to Shepard. So why was she keeping it from him? The answer to that question was eating away at her, the implications troubling her.
Yes, part of her felt obligated and compelled to help both Feron and Liara out of a difficult situation. After all, they had been vital to the effort to recover Shepard's body and without them the Normandy's current mission might never have taken shape. The success of the Lazarus Project was Miranda's crowning achievement and the asari and drell had contributed to that personal triumph significantly.
But truthfully, Miranda had done it for Shepard and Shepard alone.
She knew the Commander would jump at the opportunity to help provide closure for T'Soni and give her the chance to rescue Feron. And the gesture gave Miranda the opportunity to repay her own debt to him for the extraordinary favor he had done for her in helping Oriana reach safety. And most of all, Miranda could give something meaningful to the man that had so dramatically impacted her life, showing him that she wasn't simply an unquestioning tool for the Illusive Man to wield.
Her loyalties were shifting in ways that would have been inconceivable to her a month ago. And while she felt tremendously uneasy about what she was doing, at the same time, she found it strangely thrilling.
How had this happened?
Just a few months ago she was the single-minded director of the most ambitious project Cerberus had ever devised. And now an altogether unfamiliar feeling of self-doubt was playing on her mind as she appraised her motivations.
Miranda had slept with Shepard—and only once!—and now suddenly found herself struggling to reconcile her emotions like some foolish teenage schoolgirl. It was maddening.
But it was also exhilarating.
More than merely sex, Miranda had felt a connection and intimacy with Shepard that night that was provoking a meaningful shift within her. And even while her instincts shouted at her to retreat, to backpedal from the man and the reckless passion he evoked within her, her heart argued something entirely different each time it seemed to flutter a fraction when she caught his eye from across the room or when her neck felt flush whenever he was close.
And now the rebellion he inspired in her had led them here, orbiting a backwater planet in the Sowilo system, fresh from overthrowing the most influential information broker in the galaxy and supplanting him with a seemingly amiable and unassuming asari.
She couldn't help but grin at the preposterous accomplishment.
Finally giving up on composing the mission report that would make no reference to their recent actions on Illium or the journey that had led them to Hagalaz, Miranda deactivated her console and stood up from her desk. Stretching out her back and drawing in a long breath, she tried to clear her mind and repress the distracting memory of Shepard's hands on her body. She was tired but her mind was too restless for sleep. Rubbing her eyes, she decided a strong, hot tea was in order.
Bleary-eyed from long hours staring at the terminal, she strode out of her office in search of caffeine. Turning the corner to head to the galley area, she was stopped short by the unmistakable bellowing laughter of the turian, Garrus Vakarian. Glancing toward the sound, Miranda saw the turian was among a group sitting together at one of the tables in the mess area. Laughing and chatting warmly were Vakarian, Tali, Jeff Moreau, Shepard, and the enigmatic asari, Liara T'Soni.
She had seen the alert come across her desk a couple of hours ago when T'Soni had traveled up to the Normandy to visit further with old friends before they broke orbit. But until now, the XO had chosen to remain hidden away in her office.
Miranda paused and studied Shepard for a moment, noting the relaxed, cheery expression he was wearing as he smiled and joked with his friends. He had been under tremendous stress for most of their mission and was clearly soaking in the brief respite. After years of reviewing the man's service records and personal logs, she knew that Shepard drew strength and confidence from the informal friendships he maintained with his colleagues and crew. And while the Commander had struck up new friendships onboard this Normandy with the likes of Jacob, Zaeed, Thane, and Samara, it was clear that the bonds he had formed with the select few at this table were truly close to his heart.
Casting her gaze over the entire group seated at the table, Miranda couldn't help but feel a grudging respect and admiration for what this collection of exceptional individuals had accomplished together. But she also found herself feeling a tinge of envy. The bond and closeness they shared was something foreign to the Cerberus operative. For Miranda, colleagues had rarely ever been any more than tools for her to wield in order to accomplish a precise set of tasks, and once complete, cast aside. In stark contrast, the relationship Shepard shared with these friends was profound and enduring.
Unconsciously grinning at the sight, Miranda looked back over to where Shepard was seated and was startled to see that he was staring back at her, a knowing smile creeping across his face. Immediately feeling exposed and embarrassed, she forced her expression to go blank but felt herself blush.
Looking amused by Miranda's deer-in-the-headlights appearance, Shepard chuckled softly and waved her over. "Come over and join us, Miranda," he called over as the others at the table turned their heads in her direction. Hesitating for a moment, she realized she was caught and decided to do her best to act casual as she walked over to the table.
Approaching, she observed the expressions of Shepard's companions. Garrus seemed to be eyeing her with curiosity while Moreau's lips were pursed slightly, looking as if he was fighting the urge to blurt out one of his typically inappropriate jokes. Even with the quarian's features obscured under the mask, Miranda felt Tali eyeing her with suspicion and resentment. And while Liara had momentarily looked crestfallen when Shepard had invited his XO over, the asari had recovered and was smiling cordially.
"Hello, Miranda," Liara said. "It's nice to see you again."
I highly doubt that, Miranda thought to herself. "Liara," she said out loud. "Welcome aboard the new Normandy."
"Decided to emerge from your cave, huh Lawson?" Shepard asked with a wry grin.
Miranda stiffened a fraction and scowled. "I have quite a lot of work to attend to, Commander."
Shepard looked thoroughly unconvinced. "Uh huh," he nodded and then smiled more broadly at her. "Pull up a chair and join us."
His invitation prompted subtle glances of suspicion from both Tali and Liara before their eyes snapped back to settle on Miranda. She could feel the alien women's eyes boring into her and was momentarily thrown off balance. "Um… Thank you, but no," she stammered. "I was just going to speak with Miss Goto. I need to clear up some details about her payment schedule." She then gave a curt nod to the table and fled around the bulkhead toward the Port Observation deck, sensing Shepard's eyes on her back the whole way.
Feeling a growing flush of color rise up her neck, Miranda burst into the compartment that Kasumi had claimed as her make-shift living quarters. The thief was reclined on the sofa, reading a book, when she looked up at the sudden appearance of the Cerberus Operative. "Hey there, Miranda," she said cheerfully.
Miranda stopped just inside the compartment as the doors slid shut behind her, looking up with a startled expression. What is the matter with you, Lawson? She scolded herself after becoming inexplicably flustered by her brief encounter with Shepard and his friends.
Kasumi shot her an inquisitive look and cocked her head to the side. "You alright there, Miranda?"
"What?" Miranda said distractedly. "Oh, yes… of course. I'm fine."
Kasumi eyed her with suspicion. "Right… It's just you're looking a little red, Miranda," she said with a shrewd grin.
Miranda quickly tried to compose herself, pushing her hands down her sides, straightening her uniform. "I was just surprised, that's all."
"By the cool kids hanging out in the mess?" Kasumi asked. "You of all people must have known that Liara T'Soni was coming on board to say hi to the old gang."
The woman's emphasis on Liara's name didn't escape Miranda. "Of course, I just…" She trailed off, trying, but failing to find the correct words.
Kasumi lowered the book she had been reading into her lap and stared more pointedly at Miranda, a knowing look on her face. "This wouldn't have something to do with a certain former Alliance Commander that's been showing you a little extra attention lately, would it?"
Miranda looked cross as she stared back at Kasumi, still struggling to find her voice.
"You don't become the galaxy's greatest thief without developing keen observation skills and a knack for detecting the more subtle details of people's behavior," Kasumi said. "Don't think I haven't noticed how the two of you have cozied up to each other over the last month—that is, until you started giving him the cold shoulder recently."
Miranda's jaw dropped and she crossed her arms in front of her. "I'm his Executive Officer. We are not cozying up—we're colleagues."
Letting out a girlish laugh, Kasumi shot Miranda a mock, two fingered salute. "Oh, righhht… I apologize, Operative Lawson. However, I'm afraid your body language says otherwise. And the way that man's been looking at you lately…" Kasumi whistled and winked.
Rolling her eyes in exasperation, Miranda sighed heavily. "This is serious. You have no idea how complicated things might become."
"Miranda, you're being too hard on yourself," Kasumi said. "Loosen up, girl! I mean, have you considered that you two hooking up might actually be something nice to experience?"
"Now is not the time to be pursuing something so… We're not even likely to make it back alive from this mission."
Kasumi's expression grew more solemn as she glanced back down at the book she was holding, fingering the item with interest. "You know, I just love the feel of a real book in my hands. There's something about the texture of a leather binding, the tactile feel of turning a page, and that musty smell that rooms full of old, eternal volumes give off. There's a permanence to books." She then looked back up and gave Miranda a melancholy smile. "But people—really special people that you're fortunate enough to have come into your life—they're not like that at all. Their presence can be fleeting and brief. You have to grab hold of them while you have the chance, sometimes risking getting hurt, so you don't end up letting something really great get past you. Because, you know, those truly special people, they're as rare as a book like this, and you can't hesitate when something precious like that is right in front of you."
Exhaling softly, Miranda felt strangely adrift as she considered Kasumi's words. She could see a hint of sadness in the woman's eye and sensed there was a much deeper story that wasn't quite ready to be shared. "Oh god, I need a drink."
"Let's do shots!" Kasumi exclaimed, instantly snapping back to her normal joyful demeanor.
The tension diffused, Miranda allowed her shoulders to relax as she put a hand against her forehead. "I can't believe I allowed this to happen."
"Allowed it to happen? Are you kidding, you two are perfect for each other…" Kasumi said and continued to appraise Miranda. "Wait—you slept with him, didn't you?! Come over here immediately—I want details!" she blurted out with a wicked smile.
Miranda shot Kasumi a glowering look, but then cracked a smile. "I will do no such thing," she said with a laugh.
"Spoilsport," Kasumi chided. "Well, at least sit down and help me pick out something nice for your boyfriend to wear to Donovan Hock's party."
Miranda rolled her eyes again at Kasumi's choice of words but then promptly rushed over to sit down next to her on the sofa.
She should at least make sure Shepard would be presentable…
The soft cooing of birds somewhere close by stirred Miranda from her dream. Thankfully, the dream was of a happier time and not of the horrors she had endured more recently, or the fitful, shadowy images that had haunted her nights in the Alliance prison.
Keeping her eyes shut a little longer as her mind clung to the fond memory of her time on the Normandy, she slowly allowed herself to be pulled from the dream and emerge back into the waking world. Drawing in a long, easy breath, she smelled the sweet floral scent in the air as she focused on the sounds of the birds.
Finally, slowly opening her eyes and turning her head toward the sound, she was met with soft, glowing morning light streaming in through a pair of large picture windows. A gentle breeze was blowing in through the open windows, rustling the linen curtains.
Beyond the window, perched on the willowy branches of a tree just outside, were several dove-like birds. They had bright purple and yellow feathers, long, slender beaks, and a plume of spikey feathers on top of their oval shaped heads. Clearly alien in nature, Miranda wondered vaguely where exactly she was.
Pushing herself upright slightly, she began to take in her immediate surroundings. She was in a plush, oversized bed with a soft, fluffy comforter pulled up to her belly. Leaning against the cushioned headboard, Miranda glanced up and noted the large ceiling fan making its lazy rotation, circulating the cool, sweet-smelling air throughout the room.
The room was a spacious oval-shape, with blue walls that reminded her of the sea around the great reefs off the coast of Australia. Two nightstands bordered either side of the bed and there was a large dresser and wardrobe made from a wood she did not recognize. In the corner of the room was a small sitting area, with several comfortable looking chairs grouped around a low table. Mounted on the walls were elegantly designed frames bordering an assortment of abstract, but generally pleasing, artwork. There was warmth to the room, but also the refined sophistication of graceful, sweeping curves. I'm on an asari world, or, at least, within an asari home, she decided.
Looking down at herself, she realized she was wearing a sleeveless, white silk nightgown. It was a luxurious garment and a far cry from the filthy smock she had been clothed in during her time as a prisoner of the Alliance Intelligence Service. Looking at her right arm, she noted the device that had been attached before, steadily injecting the chemicals that suppressed her biotic abilities, had been removed and a fresh line of scar tissue led from her wrist to the crook of her elbow. Glancing to her left, she saw that a peripheral IV line had been inserted into the vein of her left arm.
Reaching up with her right hand, Miranda cautiously touched the side of her face and felt around her right eye. The area was still slightly tender, but the swelling and acute pain had vanished. Moving her hand through her hair and to the back of her neck, she felt where the interrogation device had been implanted and again was met with the feeling of fresh scar tissue.
Hearing a soft chime sound from across the way, Miranda looked up as Kasumi and Mordin walked through the door a moment later.
Kasumi looked cheerful at the sight of Miranda sitting up in bed. "Nice pad, right?" she said.
Miranda sat a little more upright and glanced around. "Yes, decidedly more comfortable than my previous accommodations," she said. "Are we on Illium?"
Kasumi shook her head and smiled. "Thessia," she said. "We're in the countryside, just outside of Serrice. This is the vacation home of one of Liara's clients, so we've got the whole place to ourselves. Very safe and secure."
"How long have I been out?"
"Almost two days, getting your beauty rest," Kasumi said and winked.
"Forty-one hours since extraction, to be exact," Mordin said as he activated his Omni-tool and moved his arm over the length of Miranda's body, studying the projected holo-readout and reciting her status. "Condition significantly improved. Zygomatic orbital rim fracture mending nicely. Associated optic nerve and muscular damage resolved. Stress fractures to scapula healed. State of dehydration and metabolic rates stabilized. Interface device at base of skull removed. Surrounding tissue regenerated." The salarian inhaled with his typical exaggerated flair. "Residual effects of exposure to biotic suppressant chemical compounds more problematic."
Miranda raised an eyebrow and looked up at Mordin. "What kind of residual effects?"
"Brain chemistry altered somewhat. Related specifically to electrical impulses from your brain that lead to generation of mass effect fields. Some emotional destabilization also possible. May feel weepy.
"Wait, you're saying I've lost my biotic ability?"
"No," Mordin said. "Ability still present, though potentially reduced in effectiveness while body purges residual traces of drug. Disruption of neural pathways to eezo nodules within your nervous system also may produce erratic results. Potential for severe adverse effects when attempting to utilize biotic powers."
"Mordin, what kind of extreme adverse effects?" Miranda asked impatiently.
"Crippling pain. Vomiting. Black-outs. Potential for irreversable brain damage."
"We don't know that it's permanent, Miranda," Kasumi interjected delicately.
Mordin deactivated his Omni-tool and looked at Miranda more sympathetically, softening his expression. "You were exposed to experimental hormone mutagens. Very exotic. Long term consequences unknown, but appear to be isolated to biotic capabilities only. Will continue to study compounds retrieved from facility and evaluate possible treatments."
"I see," Miranda said in a quiet voice.
Kasumi sat down on the edge of the bed and put her hand over Miranda's. "The important thing is that you're gonna be fine. Mordin will figure out the biotic thing. Right, doc?"
Mordin glanced at Kasumi and then back toward Miranda. "Yes," he nodded resolutely. "Prognosis for full recovery and restoration of biotic abilities good."
A long moment of silence hung in the room like a physical thing before Miranda gave Mordin a tired smile. "Thank you, Mordin. I appreciate all the care you've given me," she said.
"Of course," Mordin said and awkwardly patted Miranda's shoulder before turning to leave. "Will take time to heal properly, Miss Lawson," he said over his shoulder as he walked toward the door. "Suggest you take it easy. Galaxy needs you healthy."
After the door slid closed behind the salarian, Kasumi turned back to face Miranda and smiled. "How are you feeling?"
Miranda inhaled deeply and smiled a little easier. "Better," she said. "Is Liara here?"
"On Thessia, yes. But she went into the city early this morning. She'll be back a little later this evening."
Miranda nodded absentmindedly as she looked around the room and rubbed the spot on her left arm where the subdermal implant of her Omni-tool used to be.
"We're getting you a new Omni-tool from Serrice," Kasumi said, glancing down at Miranda's arm. "Top-of-the-line. Liara will be bringing it back tonight."
Meeting Kasumi's eyes, Miranda smiled faintly and again nodded. She was still getting her bearings straight, trying to reconcile the abrupt shift from near-constant torture to the plush bedroom she currently found herself in. It was a tremendous relief to be safe again, but the news that her biotic ability may have been permanently impaired was unsettling. Still, she was thankful that her friend was here with her. "Okay," she finally replied. "What about Shepard?"
Kasumi shifted uncomfortably and her expression darkened a fraction. "Still searching," she said, shaking her head. "Liara has the bulk of her network scouring the galaxy for him, but they've covered their tracks well. We're still trying to figure out when exactly they took him off the Normandy before the ship made it back to Earth."
Miranda was silent, deep in thought. "And the rest of the crew that were being held where I was—and where was I anyway?"
"A remote region of Akuze," Kasumi said. "We arranged to have the rest of the survivors transported back to their families, under cover identities Liara put together for them. They were all in pretty good shape… except for Patel and Hadley, of course…" Kasumi trailed off, looking out through the window. "We arranged for their bodies to be sent home too."
Miranda leaned in toward Kasumi, gently squeezing her hand. "It's not your fault," she said earnestly. "If anything, it's mine. Kelly completely slipped past me. I should have caught it, but I was too bloody distracted with my own issues."
Kasumi looked back at Miranda and shook her head. "No, Miranda, that got by all of us," she said with a heavy tone of regret. "I noticed she'd been looking distracted lately, but assumed it was the trauma of her experience on the Collector base. I can't believe he used her like that."
Sighing heavily, Miranda leaned back against the headboard and looked out the window. "I can," she said. "But it doesn't matter now. We just need to focus on finding Shepard."
"We will," Kasumi said. "And I'm sure he's safe. He's way too valuable for them to hurt him."
Miranda felt less convinced about that but agreed anyway. "I'm sure you're right."
"Miranda, I'm sorry we didn't find you sooner," Kasumi said with a tortured look on her face. "What they put you through… I can't believe the Alliance is treating people like that. I hope you didn't think we'd abandon you."
Miranda smiled faintly, trying to muster as much assurance in her voice as possible. "Of course not," she said. But in truth, the week she'd been held in that awful place had been the worst experience of her life. She would likely never tell Kasumi, but she had come very close to losing all hope and giving up. More than once, while she was being tortured with the interrogation machine, struggling to resist, she had wished for death. In the end, only the desire to get back to Shepard and Oriana preserved her sanity. "It's over now. I'm going to be fine."
Kasumi studied her for a long moment, a pensive look on her face, and then smiled. "I know you will be. But I'm here when you're ready to talk about it."
Miranda was about to reiterate that she was okay, but suddenly felt herself struggling to hold back tears as her memory returned her to that cold, dank cell. She closed her eyes, took hold of her emotions, and nodded silently instead.
The Japanese thief continued to look at Miranda with a concerned expression but then smiled again. "I'll bet you're hungry. Hang tight and I'll go get you something to eat."
"Oh, and some tea, too, please."
"Of course!" Kasumi smiled more broadly as she got up from the edge of the bed and began walking toward the door. She then paused at the threshold and glanced back. "Oh, Tali didn't make the trip here—called back to the migrant fleet on some urgent matter while we were in transit. It sounded like something big was brewing out there. But she wanted me to tell you that she was sorry… She didn't say what for exactly."
Miranda looked back at her friend for a long moment and then finally nodded. "Kasumi," she called after her. "Thank you."
Kasumi grinned back at Miranda. "Get some rest, kiddo. I'll be back soon with breakfast," she said and then disappeared through the door.
Randa, you're not telling me something. What happened?
Along with her breakfast, Kasumi had brought a data tablet so Miranda could get online and back in contact with the outside world. Once she accessed her numerous secured personal and alias accounts she found half a dozen messages waiting from Oriana.
The comm setup at the country house wasn't sophisticated enough to allow for video conferencing to a world as distant as Eden Prime, but part of Miranda was thankful for it. Though she looked a thousand times better than she had a couple days ago, she noted in the bathroom mirror that there was still some obvious bruising and scrapes on her face and forehead that had yet to fully heal and betrayed the treatment she'd been subjected to. Miranda had learned to be more open and forthcoming with her sister, but what had happened to her in that Alliance black site wasn't something she was ready to talk about with Oriana—or anyone else for that matter.
But Oriana was shrewd and intuitive. Even across the countless light years the separated them and using the rudimentary text messaging, she knew Miranda was holding something back as her elder sister refused to adequately explain why she had been out of contact for more than a week.
And I don't understand why you can't tell me where you are now? I'm worried, Randa. Are you in danger?
Miranda could almost hear her sister pleading, demanding she share with her the details she was obviously concealing. She still marveled at how close they had become in such a short time. It had only been a matter of months since she'd begun speaking with her sister, but now she couldn't imagine going back to a life that didn't include an authentic relationship with Oriana. She took another sip of the hot, herbal tea Kasumi had brought with her breakfast and tapped out a reply.
I'm sorry, Ori, but I can't give you all the details yet or tell you where I am. It's for your own safety. But I promise, I'm safe—and so are you and your parents.
I'm not going to drop this, you know that right?
Miranda smiled as she pictured the determined, stubborn expression her sister must have been wearing as she typed out the message. Oriana was as unrelenting as she was.
I wouldn't expect anything different from a sister of mine. And don't worry, I will fill you in more soon, but I need to get going now. Talk to you again tomorrow?
Grrr. Yes, alright. Just be careful, okay Randa? I'm worried. Love you.
A rush of emotion welled up within Miranda as she felt her eyes fill with tears, a feeling of both relief and gratitude washing over her. She'd spent the majority of her life pushing others away and resisting any genuine emotions from intruding on her life, but she found she now embraced the connection with her sister. It was both tremendously satisfying and a little frightening at the same time. She swallowed hard and took in a deep, fortifying breath.
I love you too, Ori. Talk to you soon.
Closing out the connection, Miranda placed the tablet on the bedside table, leaned back against the headboard and closed her eyes. It was a relief to hear from Oriana and feel connected again to the living world, but she knew there was little time to waste. Shepard was still out there, missing, and he needed her help.
Turning to the tray of food Kasumi had brought, Miranda attacked her breakfast with gusto. After the slop she had barely survived on while in custody, the tray of fresh asari croissants, fruit, porridge and juice was a blissful meal. And sipping the earthy, minty tea seemed to instantly clear the remaining cobwebs from her head and allowed her to regain her focus.
Finishing the meal and placing the tray off to the side, Miranda topped off her cup with the nearby tea pot and snatched up the tablet again. It was time to get back to work. It was time to find John.
After spending nearly three hours on the tablet, scouring all the available intel on the Normandy's seizure, the aftermath of the Bahak incident, and Shepard's disappearance, Miranda put the device down in frustration. There was precious little for her to go on without getting back in the field. But Kasumi and Mordin were not yet ready to allow her the freedom of leaving the placid surroundings of her second floor bedroom just yet. And despite her eagerness to get back out into the world outside, she was forced to comply as the effort of even just a few hours of light work on the tablet had sapped her energy.
After Mordin had come back in the early afternoon and disconnected the IV from her arm, Miranda enjoyed more conversation with Kasumi over the light lunch she had brought, and then easily drifted back to sleep for another several hours.
Waking again in the early evening, Miranda felt more refreshed. Between Mordin's expert care, the luxury of real food, and her own enhanced healing abilities, her physical state was improving rapidly. Deciding to ignore the issue with her biotics for the time being, she sought to focus on regaining the strength and endurance she knew she'd need moving forward. The first step in that process would be to rest. And so she did her best to quiet her mind, restrain her impatience, and suppress the emotional trauma of the prior week that she still had no idea how to deal with.
Stepping out of the bed on surprisingly stable and surefooted legs, Miranda made her way into the bathroom. Like the rest of the suite, it was spacious and luxurious, with a smooth stone tile floor, several more windows that offered views of the home's courtyard below, and featured a huge oversized tub and generously sized shower.
Pulling the nightgown over her head and hanging the garment on a nearby hook, Miranda paused for a moment and studied her naked form in the bathroom's large full-length mirror. After the week in Alliance custody, she looked thin, but thankfully not emaciated. The scrapes and contusions on her knees were still healing and the bruising around her ribs was fading, but overall, it looked like the rest and care she'd received over the past two days had done wonders. Moving to the shower, she turned on the faucet and tested the water with her hand before stepping into the stall and allowing the hot water to cascade over her.
Emerging after indulging for nearly ten full minutes under the hot, cleansing waterfall, Miranda grabbed a nearby towel and patted herself dry. She then wrapped the oversized cotton towel around her body, took another towel from the rack, and moved over to the sink.
Her hair had taken a beating during the time in the Alliance prison and at the hands of the med techs that ceaselessly prodded and haphazardly sliced at her locks and scalp. Taking in her appearance in the mirror as she began to dry the long, raven-black strands of her hair she could see that Kasumi had clearly done her best to tame the tangled mess. Sighing, it was evident she'd need to have a professional attend to it at some point, but that would have to wait for another day. Resigned to the state it was in, she finished drying her hair with the nearby blow-dryer and tied it back in a simple ponytail.
Hanging the wet towels on a hook, Miranda opened the small bag that Kasumi had left for her on a table in the corner of the bathroom. Smiling at the thoughtful assortment of clothes and toiletries her friend had gathered for her, she sifted through the contents until she came upon a pair of new lilac-colored hiphugger panties. Lifting the underwear from the bag, she laughed out loud when she saw the phrase "Shep's girl" printed on the backside in a playful cursive script. Kasumi was an incorrigible instigator, which the cheeky contribution to her wardrobe was further proof of, but she loved her for it.
Pulling on her new underwear and finishing freshening up, Miranda slipped the nightgown back over her head and walked out from the bathroom just as the door chime announced a visitor. Thinking it would be Kasumi, Miranda smiled and prepared to give her grief over the surprise she was now wearing. "Come in," she called out.
Liara walked through the parting doorway a moment later.
Reflexively, the smile that had begun to play across Miranda's lips faded as the asari entered the room. "Hello, Liara."
Liara looked mildly surprised to find Miranda standing in the middle of the room but then gave her a friendly smile. "Miranda, It's good to see you up. How are you feeling?'
"Better, thank you," Miranda said before moving on straight to business. "What have you found?"
The asari nodded and then motioned over toward the seating area in the corner. "Let's sit down. There's a lot we need to discuss."
Miranda nodded slightly before moving across the room and claiming one of the chairs arranged around the low table as Liara followed and sat down directly across from her.
Placing her hands together in her lap, Liara looked at Miranda with a pained expression. "I still can't find him. I have nearly all of my best Intelligence assets out looking, but it's proving a difficult trail to follow."
"I see," said Miranda, unable to hide the disappointment in her voice.
"But Feron's out chasing a promising lead now. He's due to be reporting in within twelve hours."
"What lead?"
Liara took a deep breath before laying out what she knew. "A turian dockworker on the planet Gellix in the Arrae system, who has informed for the Shadow Broker in the past, reported that he witnessed the Alliance frigate, SSV Farragut in port six days ago," she said and then leaned in toward Miranda, placing her elbows on her knees. "The Farragut was one of the vessels that intercepted the Normandy. Our informant stated that the Alliance ship was transferring supplies and equipment to an unregistered merchant vessel named the Persephone. Part of the material this turian says they moved to the Persephone was a self-supported stasis pod."
Miranda raised an eyebrow. "You think that Shepard was in that stasis pod?"
Liara shrugged. "No way to know for certain, but it's worth following up. The Persephone left the system less than two hours after receiving their cargo and there was no flight plan filed with the local authorities. Feron's going to try and track the ship from there and I'm confident he'll turn up something useful."
Miranda didn't think Liara sounded very confident at all and chewed her lip for a moment while she considered the clue. "You said the Normandy arrived in the Sol system not long after we were boarded. How many of my people were on board?"
Liara seemed to bristle a fraction at Miranda's use of the term 'my people' but didn't let it faze her. "Not many," she said flatly. "Jeff and Dr. Chakwas were both immediately remanded to regular Alliance Naval authorities, as were several of the former Cerberus crew, including two engineers and a handful of support staff. Garrus and your krogan friend, Grunt, are both back on their homeworlds, having been turned over to their respective governments. Not including Shepard, there are more than a dozen others unaccounted for."
Miranda nodded and looked at Liara thoughtfully. "Most of the support crew were drawn from elite Cerberus ranks, all experts in their fields and exceedingly adept at their individual roles on board. They're all valuable people, but with limited security clearances and insight into broader operations."
"You're suggesting we shouldn't waste resources trying to locate them."
Miranda ignored Liara's mildly offended tone and kept her expression neutral. "No. I'm merely pointing out that their value to Alliance Intelligence is negligible. Besides me, the others that were being held in the Akuze facility possessed the most potentially significant intel. The others likely would have been dropped in a less intensive holding facility, or, merely killed quietly and dumped out in space."
Liara stared at Miranda for a long moment before responding. "It wasn't long ago that I would have scoffed at your assessment of the Alliance's methods, but after the assassination attempt on Illium and then seeing where you were held… and what they did to you and the others… I'm inclined to agree with your assessment."
Miranda nodded slightly, a distant look in her eyes. "I see from the extranet reports that the Illusive Man is doing what he promised, holding Shepard up as the mastermind of the Bahak incident." She turned to look out the window and stared toward the slowly setting sun. "He played us all," she said in a quiet voice.
"Tensions are very high between the Alliance and the Hegemony," Liara said. "There have already been batarian incursions in the Skyllian Verge and they're beginning to threaten colonies in the Attican Traverse, as well. The Alliance is strengthening their military presence near Elysium and the Council is trying desperately to intervene, but the batarians aren't coming to the table."
Scowling, Miranda turned to look back at Liara. "And the Alliance has thrown Shepard to the wolves," Miranda said through gritted teeth. "Officially disavowing his status as an Alliance Marine and painting him as some kind of rogue traitor. It's revolting after all he's done."
"I agree it's difficult to see, but I'm afraid they had little choice," Liara said. "They're trying to avoid a war."
"The batarians don't care if Shepard was acting under Alliance orders, Cerberus, or on his own. We're all just dirty humans encroaching on their territory. They'll jump at any excuse for war."
Liara sighed. "I suppose you're right. But even with the fractured state of affairs within the Systems Alliance, the batarians know they can't wage all-out war, not with humanity enjoying the privileges of Council membership. This all merely serves to distract the major powers even more from the real threat."
Miranda shifted nervously. "John was adamant that the intel pointed to an imminent Reaper arrival in Bahak and that the relay there was capable of multiple connections throughout the galaxy. And Kenson's data synced up with what EDI pulled from the Collector's station. I'm not sure there was a viable alternative to taking out the relay given the timeframe… But if it hadn't been for Cerberus, perhaps we could have managed some evacuations from Aratoht." She looked down at her lap and noticed she was wringing her hands anxiously. "It crushed him to see that system go dark… All those lives…"
"Miranda," Liara said firmly, pulling the woman back from her dark thoughts. "I think I know what they're after with Shepard. I think they want the Prothean Cipher in his mind."
Miranda gave Liara a puzzled look. "The Cipher? Why?"
"I'm not certain. There must be something more of value buried within that information—something else potentially threatening to these people… or the Reapers."
"Are you sure?" Miranda pressed. "How do you know this?"
"A source within Alliance Intelligence came across a fragment of a secured exchange between high level leadership. He reported that they were speaking about the significance the Cipher in Shepard's mind could have on the impending harvest."
Miranda looked unnerved. "Harvest?" she asked. "They used that precise word?"
"Yes," Liara said, nodding. "The choice of language also struck me as unusual."
"Liara, do you think these people are indoctrinated?"
"I can't say for sure, but it would explain a great deal. I think we should operate under the assumption that at least a portion of the Alliance Intelligence command staff has been compromised by Reaper influence."
"Agreed," Miranda said. "Then it's even more imperative that we find John quickly. There's no telling what he might be exposed to."
Liara winced slightly at the thought, no doubt remembering her mother's struggle against Sovereign's influence. "If they are indeed after the Cipher, they'll find it impossible to extract. I took measures to secure the information stored in his mind."
Miranda narrowed her gaze and gave Liara a suspicious look. "You locked the information? So… What, no one but you can get to it?"
"Essentially, yes," Liara said, nodding. "Even another asari would be unable to access that portion of Shepard's mind. It's tuned specifically to my DNA markers."
"And you did this during the hunt for Saren? How can you be sure it's still intact after we revived him on Lazarus Station?"
Liara looked uncomfortable for a moment, glancing away from Miranda. "Actually, I confirmed the integrity of the information and then secured it when I was on the Normandy SR2 a while back, after Hagalaz."
"What?"
"After what you had found out about the Collectors, Shepard and I discussed it. We hypothesized that, given that we had never fully understood all the information transferred to his mind, there might be something else of use or something of value that, if he were to be taken by the Collectors, could be harmful to our efforts against the Reapers. So I proposed the process of securing the information through another melding—and he agreed."
"And you what, melded in his quarters that night?"
"Miranda, I assure you it was completely innocent, but I know it sounds odd," she conceded. "Think of it as a method of encryption that only I can decode. It can't be forced from him. He needs to willingly accept the connection." Liara then glanced down at the floor, looking uncomfortable under Miranda's intense stare. "It seemed a prudent precaution before you went through the Omega 4 relay."
Innocent, my ass. Miranda was well aware of the intimacy of a melding with an asari, even when it didn't involve outright sex. Still, she tried to reign in her irrational jealously and wipe the scowl from her face. "Of course," she said curtly. "You're right. If the information's as valuable as you say, that safeguard will likely keep him alive."
Liara looked back up at Miranda and gave her a timid smile. "I've spoken with Mordin and he seems to feel you're recovering very quickly. I'd say you'll be fit to be back on your feet within another day or two, though I think you should try to take it easy for a little longer. I understand the issue with your biotic ability is another matter, though."
Miranda dismissed Liara's concerns with a wave of her hand. "It's fine. I can adapt to the loss of my biotics. It won't prohibit me from helping to find Shepard."
Liara bowed her head slightly, acquiescing to Miranda's stubbornness. "Of course," she said. "Then once we have secure passage arranged, I think it would be wise for you to arrange a discreet meeting with Councilor Anderson. I've already advised him that we extracted you from SAIS custody and—"
"You what?" Miranda said, raising her voice as her temper flared.
Liara looked startled by Miranda's reaction and continued in a guarded tone. "Yes, of course. He's also been trying to locate Shepard."
"How do you know he can be trusted? The Alliance boarded our ship and put Shepard in chains!"
"Miranda, I have no reservations about trusting David Anderson," Liara insisted. "He and Shepard were close and he would never do anything to endanger him. He risked everything to help John while we were pursuing Saren."
"I'm well aware of Anderson's actions in 2183," Miranda said tersely and leaned forward aggressively. "But Shepard's hardly seen the man for the last two and a half years. A lot can change in that time."
Liara glared back at Miranda and her tone turned icy. "Yes, Miranda, a lot certainly can change."
Miranda locked eyes defiantly with the asari for a moment but then averted her gaze, suddenly feeling ashamed and a little vulnerable as she sat there dressed only in a thin nightgown. She had suspected it months ago on Illium, and then again later on the Normandy, but now she was certain—Liara was still in love with Shepard.
But now was certainly not the time to carry on with this particular catfight. Shepard was in serious peril and questioning Liara's decisions on how to go about locating him was foolish and petty. Miranda knew full well that the asari was desperate to find John just as much as she was, regardless of whom he had been sharing his bed with of late.
And you're wearing panties with "Shep's girl" printed on the ass. Brilliant.
As a tense silence settled in the room between them, Miranda realized the unusual trouble she had been having calming her emotions. Was it simply that Liara had wound her up or were the residual effects Mordin warned her about beginning to manifest themselves, sabotaging her body's chemical balance and leaving her susceptible to emotional instability?
Miranda let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and leaned back in the chair again. "I'm sorry, Liara," she finally managed. "I appreciate all you've done for me. I'm acting a little irrationally, I know. I…"
Liara's expression softened as she looked at Miranda compassionately. "It's quite all right, Miranda," she said and then stood up from her chair. "You've been through a very difficult ordeal. I should let you get some rest now. We can talk more tomorrow." She then turned to leave and walked toward the door she had entered through earlier.
Miranda swallowed and moved her eyes about the room, feeling a knot forming in her gut. Then she stood and took a few steps after Liara. "Before they murdered Patel, they had dressed her in my uniform," she said as her voice cracked. "Why would they do that?"
Liara stopped just shy of the door and paused for a moment before turning her head slightly around toward Miranda. "I know," she said quietly. "They recorded the event. We saw the video. I don't know for what purpose."
Liara then abruptly turned back toward Miranda and wrapped her arms around her. "Try to get some more sleep," she whispered. "And don't worry, we're going to find him."
Miranda remained awkwardly rigid with her arms at her sides as Liara embraced her in the brief, but sincere hug. The asari then released her and marched out the door.
As the door closed behind the asari, Miranda remained standing in the middle of the room and felt the spot on her neck where Liara's tears had fallen.
Miranda pushed open the double doors leading from her bedroom to the second floor balcony and stepped barefooted out onto the terrace as a gentle breeze rustled the hem of her nightgown. The cool late night air sent a momentary shiver down her back as she slowly walked to the edge of the balcony, taking in the sweeping views of Thessia's distant snowcapped mountains.
Placing her hands on the rail, she looked up and was met with thousands of brilliantly shining stars casting their vivid white light down upon the serene landscape. The sky was alive with dramatic green and purple light as highly charged electrons encountered the oxygen and nitrogen atoms high up in Thessia's atmosphere, creating a spectacular aurora.
Closing her eyes, Miranda breathed in the crisp, purifying air as she allowed her mind to drift.
Then she felt the gentle touch of two strong hands on her hips and warm breath on her neck as Shepard leaned in and kissed her tenderly just below her right ear. Sighing peacefully, she reached down and took his hands, wrapping them tighter around her waist as she leaned back into him, drinking in the sweet kisses he planted down her neck.
Where you have been?
Her eyes still closed, she allowed him to spin her around to face him as she draped her arms over his shoulders, leaned in, and touched her forehead to his.
You keep me waiting too long.
Pulling his head in closer, she opened her mouth expectantly as their lips touched and the electric charge she always felt when they kissed echoed throughout her body.
As he pulled away from her, Miranda beamed as she slowly opened her eyes. But then her smile faded and her face betrayed her loneliness as she realized he wasn't there and was left staring back across the empty balcony.
Swallowing as she turned back around to face the mountains, she grasped the railing more resolutely and looked back up into the vastness of the universe.
I will find you.
Author's note:
Okay, so this chapter kind of kept growing as I moved through the narrative, hence the publishing delay. But there were some key things to cover, both with character relationships and plot foundations that will be built upon in the future.
The last couple of chapters were pretty grim, so I wanted to lighten things up a bit to start this one off. Miranda needs time to recover—both physically and emotionally—so a little quiet time is in order.
Writing Kasumi is ridiculously fun and I have a kind of perverse fascination with the imagined friendship between her and Miranda. Miranda really only gets to let her hair down around Kasumi and Oriana, so it's an opportunity to see a different side to her character.
I hadn't previously planned on the damage to Miranda's biotic ability; it just came organically as I was mocking up the chapter. But I think it adds a nice extra wrinkle. She's a little less perfect now, so we'll see how she deals with that and what future consequences her condition might have.
We'll continue getting Miranda back on her feet in the next chapter and start to setup what I hope will be some interesting original content and twists as we build steadily toward the Reaper War.
As always, thanks for reading and all the kind words of encouragement!
3/15 - Oops!Thessia ain't got no moons! Fixed. ; )