AOS Universe: Mirror!Nyota
Of all the people on the ship, Nyota had least expected him to figure her out. She was pretty sure even Kirk wouldn't have noticed right off if Spock hadn't told him who she was.
So when she and Chekov struck up a game of three-dimensional chess, the thought of being found out was the furthest thing from her mind. And when she had left Pavel flustered after winning the first game she thought nothing of it.
And when she had his eyebrow lifting up like Spock's at her as she swore, Nyota barely even noticed. Only on his counter in their third game did she learn that he knew the Nyota from this universe much better than she thought he did.
" Checkmate." he said, moving his piece to the main level. She smiled and moved to reset the board.
" Great game, Chek. You want to play again?"
Silence met her as she moved the pieces back into pieces. She paused in collecting them and looked over at him when he still didn't answer. Chekov was staring at her with a perplexed look upon his face. He didn't seem to be entertaining her question but rather her.
He tilted his head to the side and trained his pale blue-green eyes on her face. " Hmm."
She worried over what he might see and fought the conditioned response to sneer at him. Pavel wasn't grimacing at her but neither was he smiling. He was just...analyzing. What was this young ensign puzzling over?
Nyota frowned, glanced around them and stared back at him. " What?"
" Kto Tbl?"
He asked her so softly she almost thought she imagined it but he was looking at her now, with patient eyes. His question, his demeanor, was all intentional.
He had gone from speaking in standard to Russian. He had spoken so quietly that anyone wearing a universal translator wouldn't have registered his voice asking the question of who she was.
He had also waited until Spock had excused himself from the table to go and attend to duties in the science bay. He had played this game and truly had her at a checkmate.
Nyota waited only a moment before responding. Delayed answers in her universe could cost her dearly. She exhaled loudly and rolled her eyes at him with a smile.
" Who are you?" she replied in the same tongue. She tried to go back to resetting the board but was shocked to find his hand coming around hers as she went for the rook. The hold wasn't painful but quite firm in its grip. Nyota looked up from their hands, glaring at him in warning.
" Now I really know you're not her. Uhura would never be so flippant about someone accusing her of something."
She snatched hand away but he reclaimed it just as quickly. They knocked over a knight piece in the process. The tension rolling off of them seemed undetectable in the rec room. Not one person interested themselves with looking over in their direction. She and Pavel were just another set of crewmen in the busy din of the rec center. Or at least everyone but Pavel thought this.
Nyota's heart hammered in her chest as Pavel drew closer and locked eyes with her. He was surprisingly strong to be so thin and wiry. Then again Spock had left Nyota with the same impression. There was nothing about the Vulcan that Uhura hadn't found imbued with strength. Chekov appeared to be of a similar make; a delicate looking bruiser.
Pavel blinked down to her chin and slowly let his eyes rove back up to her gaze.
" You look just like her. Speak with the same cadence and tone but you're not Uhura. You haven't been for a while now."
Nyota swallowed and looked at the rec door, silently willing Spock to appear. The great irony of this universe made sure that he didn't. Figures. Her luck was shitty in this place.
She turned back to meet his eye again and thought of what to say. Should she confirm his suspicions? Hell, they weren't suspicions if they were fucking true now, weren'y they? Should she deny Chekov but threaten him like she would have in her universe? She wasn't entirely sure of how that would be greeted but it might shut him up from telling anyone else.
Nyota narrowed her gaze and growled low at him. " You listen here, Pavel-"
" I don't know if you could say we're on a first name basis, Uhura."
Nyota huffed and started over again. " Fine then, bitch! Listen, you little cunt. I-"
" Do you remember our time back at the academy?" he interrupted. She leaned back in her chair and he continued on. " If you tell me about our first and only date, I'll believe you and let the whole thing go. Though clearly I've hit a nerve."
Nyota grit her teeth and glanced away from his face. What the actual hell? They had dated? What drugs was this Nyota on to have dated Chekov? Sure he was nice enough on the eyes but her Chekov was a major nerd and totally psychotic. " Our date?"
He nodded and grinned at her. " Yes. A week or so before you told me you had started to see someone else."
She didn't have to do any mental gymnastics to figure out who that someone might have been.
Nyota sighed in resignation and looked at him. What would they have done on a date? Play chess like they were now? Calculate quantum physics? " We, uh, went to dinner and then walked back to the academy…"
He smiled at her with such a brilliant grin that for a moment Nyota thought she had guessed it right. " You really thought I was going to be that boring?" he asked, waving around the knocked over knight piece. " Dinner and a moonlight walk? Pssh."
She frowned and planted her hands on the table and leaned towards him. " That's what we did!"
He shook his head and picked up the black queen piece. " Nope."
Nyota threw up her hands and crossed her arms over her chest with a huff. " Well what did we do, if you remember it oh so much better?"
He met her gaze and stared as he replied. " We went to the movies and I ate you out as we sat in the back row of the theater."
Nyota's eyes went wide as saucers. They what?! Pavel placed the rook on the board along with a few pawns. He righted the king and drawled on. " You were having a hard time keeping quiet and you kept on saying my name. Chek, you called me. You nearly tore my hair out when you came."
" We? You did-? I-" she sputtered but he went on. Was this real life? Had she gone back to her dimension or slipped into some fever dream? The teeth she had worrying her lip let her know it was all too real. Chekov kept his boyish grin as he went on resetting the board. Like he wasn't talking about going down on her. Definitely must have gone back to the other dimension.
" I was so happy you wore that sundress. Made things much easier, you know. I could wedge my mouth right up against your pussy."
Her face was burning as she fought to keep herself neutral. He tilted his head as she tried to rebuff him. Man had nearly struck her speechless and it was taking all her willpower to convince herself this was this universe's Chekov and not her own." You would never."
He pouted and made a puppy dog-eyed expression." You tasted amazing."
" We-?" she began only to be cut off again by the sound of his laughter.
He continued cackling as he reset the board. He was wiping away tears by the time he finished. He smiled at her again, sad this time and shook his head. " You're right and wrong. We never did go out on a date but that's what I always imagined us doing. I knew if I ever told you, you'd storm off and never speak to me again because you never saw me that way. The fact that you stayed and only said that we hadn't let me know."
He tucked his hands under his chin and went back to examining her with sad eyes. " Sorry to be so crude. Once I started speaking, I couldn't stop myself. It was like I was confessing and could finally tell you...or at least one you. Where are you from?"
Nyota felt her eye tick as he stared at her and grit her teeth to keep herself from cursing. Chekov knew his Nyota was missing and that she wasn't her. Should she really talk with him?
She glared at him and he smiled at her. Great, he wasn't going to move until he got answers. She sighed and chewed her lip. Best to start at the beginning. " I didn't plan on coming here. I don't even know how it actually happened."
Chekov was silent with his gaze locked onto her face. She tightened her palm around the chess piece in her hand and grit her teeth. " I don't wanna go back. Not really."
" Why not? It's your home, isn't it?"
She shrugged and ran one of her nails over the pawn piece in her hand. " Just because I come from a place doesn't make it my home." She swallowed hard and averted her gaze. " I actually kinda like you guys and...Spock-"
Her voice cracked and coughed to clear it. Best to leave this Spock and her feelings out of it. She put the pawn onto the board and took a deep breath. " I don't know where I fit in anymore. And if I go back - I don't know how much longer I'd be able to live there. It's...unsafe. And being here makes me see how much I want to raise the odds of me staying alive."
She stopped talking and Chekov slouched back against the chair. His jaw was tight and their was a glint in his eye that was too close to her own Chekov for comfort. Maybe he was crazy in both universes?
" Tell me more. I don't quite understand everything."
She snorted and rolled her eyes. " No one does."
He winked at her impishly and gave her a boyish grin. " Try me."
He sat and laid his hands on the table as she recounted all that had happened. She did abridge the story to cut her tresspasses against Spock and her attempt to escape. She didn't think he'd flush over those details but he might trust her even less than he did now.
When she finished Chekov brought his hands up in front of him as if he were holding something. " So, there are two parallel universes and you and our Nyota simultaneously fell through into the other's?"
She nodded and he went on. " Spock has calculated the next possible date for the anomaly happening but there's the problem of spatial synchronization."
Nyota furrowed her brows and cocked an eyebrow. " The what?"
He leaned closer and grew more animated. " Spatial synchronization. The dimension act like mirrors to one another. It's theorized that when we experience deja vu what is actually happening is we're in sync with our mirror counterpart. Actions that feel like we're already done them have that sensation because our mirror twin has done that action as well at the same time."
A chill ran down Nyota's spine. If she was following his explanation correctly, she really didn't like where he was headed. " So, if I feel like the way you are acting or saying things feels familiar it means…?"
He smiled at her but it didn't meet his eyes. " It potential means that you and I in the mirrorverse are having a very similar if not exact conversation to this."
" Fuck." she said. She palmed her face and slid it to the side to hold her head. The last thing that other Nyota needed was the mirror version of Chekov tailing her. Sulu and McCoy were bad enough but Chekov was a whole other monster. Her Spock had never seen him as a threat. He watched her no more than any other male did but the calculations she saw in his eyes mirrored the Chekov sitting in front of her now.
She didn't want to put money on it but she had a feeling that what this Chekov said earlier to her about the movies and eating her out was something that had slipped over from the mirror-version. That would explain his sudden boldness and half-apology of not knowing where the vulgar lie came from.
He watched her thinking and nodded his head at her. " So you felt it then? That strange feeling when you talked to me?"
She nodded and cursed. " Yeah I fucking felt it. Now I'm worried and bogged down with even more Goddamn questions."
He chuckled. Whether it was from her cursing or her in general she didn't know. Oddly enough she found she didn't mind.
" What are some of your questions now?" he asked. They were still speaking in Russian but he kept his voice low.
She threw up her hands and groaned. " I don't know. Well, what if feels this Spock is my Spock from the other universe?"
Chekov shrugged and gave her a wry smile. " Then he might actually be him. The mirror is a reflection of something that's actually real. Right now I would say I'm the one that's real and the mirrorverse Chekov would be the reflection but dimensional theory would say differently."
He picked up a coaster that had been supporting his drink and held it up for her to see. " Think of me as the top side and the other Chekov as the bottom. One side is receiving the light of the room and the other is in the dark against the table. Both sides are needed for the coaster to be whole and the dark and the light touch each other. We are just different sides of the same person personified. One dark, one light with access to qualities of the other."
He held between his fingers and spun it on the table. " When the anomaly happened. It churned space and time so fast that the universes' integrity tore a hole and you and Nyota split the coaster in half. The halves fell through to the other side. While you maintain your unique qualities this world is not the one you know. Eventually things should hit an equilibrium and the Nyota coaster halves should come back together."
The coaster wobbled and fell back against the table.
Nyota nodded but twisted her lips. " Yeah okay, I can get that but what about Spock?"
Chekov covered it with his hand and looked up at her. " When you feel like Spock or someone else here resembles one of the people from your universe that is like the whole coaster being in darkness against the table."
He picked up the coaster and put it elbow on the table. He held it between his fingers and tilted it so they each saw one side. " Whenever it felt like someone you knew from your universe was acting out of character that was like the coaster being bathed in light on both sides."
She scoffed and motioned a finger from the light and the table. " Why do you guys get the light side and we get the dark?"
Chekov gave her a telling look and put the coaster back down. " Ms. Uhura, I think you know very well why I did. I told you what our date was like in my mind but I didn't tell you everything I imagined."
Nyota's eyes widened again and she stared at him. " What did you imagine?"
Chekov rolled his lips against one another and looked troubled. " Nothing light, apyr and with an awful feeling like I had told you everything before."
She dug her nails into palms and studied his face. She had no idea of what he had thought but she knew all the things that her Chekov had said to her over the years. None of the things she recalled could be labeled as light either.
" I have two more questions that I hope you can answer."
He opened his arms and gave a lop-sided smile. " I'll do the best that I can."
" If the Nyota 'coaster halves' fell through, could someone else's be split and fall through?"
Chekov nodded. " Theoretically."
Nyota pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed through it. " Okay. Good to know. And my last question...if that Nyota dies...do I die too?"
Chekov's smile waned. " Theoretically but that's not always the case. You two mirror each other but not entirely. You two are unique individuals with different nurturing and upbringing. While your nature is very similar, the way you chose and make decisions will always slightly differ. "
" Damn." She didn't want to think about that but she had to. This Spock was smitten with his Nyota. If she died over there and didn't come back when and if she left what would happen to him? And her Vulcan, how long would he survive without an Uhura at his side? Resentment welled in her throat as resignation surged forward. " Fuck. Shit. Shit. Fuck!"
For the first time Chekov looked nervous. His eyes darted around the room possibly to see if people knew what the word bylad meant now with the way she was spitting it out. " Uhura?"
He fell silent when he heard her sniff. She angrily wiped at her face and composed herself. " Hey. Do me a favor will ya?"
" Yes, of course." he said. Maybe it was the tears that had wiped off his smile. Whatever it was, Chekov looked grim now.
Nyota run her hand under her nose to wipe it and sniffed again. She wasn't going to cry in front of this man. " Can you let Spock know that you know now and help him with his calculations? Let's see if we can get this spatial sync shit under control so I can go back."
Chekov nodded in agreement and she exhaled in relief, albeit bitter. She rose from the table and gathered her things to leave. He watched her do so with a puzzled expression over his face. " I thought you said you didn't want to go back?"
She blinked at him and shrugged her bag over her shoulder. " I don't."
And she left.
She didn't see Spock until he came back to the cabin that evening. It was well into the gamma shift and he looked tired.
She looked up from the holopix she was viewing and smiled at him. " Welcome back."
He came in and went to the kitchen. " Thank you. It has been an eventful day."
She sighed and muttered to herself. " Tell me about it."
Spock paused in making himself a glass of water and turned to her. " Very well. This morning I-"
She held up her hand and waved him off. " No. Sorry I meant to say I did too."
Spock took up his glass and came over to where she sat on the couch. " Chekov spoke with me today."
" He did?" she asked, none too surprised. Spock gave a curt nod after taking a drink and spoke after he swallowed. " We worked on calculations this evening after our shift was over. Significant progress was made."
" Great." she said weakly. She set down the holopix frame on the tea table and pulled her knees to her chest. He studied her as he sat down beside her and placed his glass near the frame. He took a quick glance to see that she had been thumbing through their bonding ceremony.
She felt the bond between them flutter in recognition of its creation. An appreciation she knew to be his warmed her chest. At the same time she saw him move his hand to his throat in the space were hers felt constricted in angst.
He blinked at her and tilted her head. " What is wrong?"
Nyota's crestfallen face blinked down towards the floor. " We…,I mean you and the other Nyota were - are...married?"
" This is so." Spock folded his hands back into his lap and already she felt the urge to have him meld with her. The melds between them made her feel safe in a way she never in her world.
She didn't realized it could be so intimate; even without the sex. It felt like that first time that she and this Spock met, when she didn't know that he was other. As he made love to her that night, it made her realize something about them that she never knew possible.
In their bond, they completed one another; complementary halves joining into a larger, vibrant whole. As she pondered, he felt her revelation over his people's ways.
Spock broke her train of thought with a new, disturbing idea. " We are one just as you are with your Spock."
Nyota huffed and held her legs tighter. " I'm not one with him!"
" Did your Spock not explain this to you?" he asked, with his brows furrowed. "A bond between mates is more than claim of ownership, less than a fusion. It is a wedding of minds and a union of ka'tras. You and your Spock are one, just as I and my Nyota are."
Nyota curled her bottom lip into her mouth and bit it, staving off the tears she felt welling in her eyes. She didn't cry in front of Chekov. She wouldn't be blubbering in Spock's presence either if she could help it. Fortunately his matter of fact explanation of bonding was enough to piss her off. She was about to go back to that awful ship and those awful people and he was sitting here with heart eyes about his Nyota. She shoved the holopix frame with her toe and pouted. "I don't want to be one with him."
"You want to annual the bond?" he questioned sincerely. "I am unsure of what repercussions that could reap for returning you and my bondmate to your respective universes."
She shook her head and stared down at her knees. He didn't understand. Probably because he didn't feel the same way. "...I want to be one with you."
Shock wrote itself across Spock's face. She could feel his eyes roving over her face to make sense of her admission. He probably wouldn't find it. She didn't even know why she told him. It was the truth but what purpose did telling it achieve?
He surprised her when he picked up the holopix and scrolled through the images. He didn't interrogate her as she thought this Spock would but took on another line of questioning. " Did you browse through all the images?"
When she shook her head, Spock slid closer to her so she could view the frame. He tapped through a few and stopped when he saw he shift closer. " Do you have a question over this one?"
Nyota was nodding and scowling as she did when she was trying to make sense of something. " there's no one in this picture. All the others had either you or your Nyota or both of you guys. What's the deal with this pile of rocks?"
She looked up to find Spock's eyes warm and molten. He glanced down at the imagine again and slid his thumb over the frame. " It is the spot where I first claimed Nyota as my wife."
Nyota's scowl deepened as she took the frame and scrolled back to a previous image. She held it up and pointed to the picture of them in ceremonial robes before a healer. " No. This is where. This temple isn't a barren desertscape."
Spock shook his head and retrieved the frame from her hands. " No, the temple is where she first claimed me as her husband. The desert is where I first first claimed her as my wife."
Understanding hit her like a ton of bricks. Nyota and Spock had their bonding and vows at the temple but the first lawfully wedded banging happened in the desert. " Wait? Y'all did it outside?!"
His lips curled into a cheshire cat smile as he gave a satisfied chuckled.
" She wanted to have coitus thusly. We both found having relations in the open air of the desert to be as painful as it was thrilling. New Vulcan's terrain is equally as rocky as Vulcan's former landscape. In retrospect I should have located a sand dune to perform such acts but I feared a sandstorm...and being found out."
Nyota laughed and he returned the mirth with a larger smile. He indulged her with stories over the other photos before ordering her to prepare for bed.
She had nearly forgotten this Spock's newly found dominance over her. He took it seriously as he did with every task he performed. He had her shower and lotion and care for her hair before 'allowing' her to literally crawl into bed.
Tonight Spock seemed playful. There was a lightness to him that he had never expressed with her before. When she knelt beside him, he gently pushed her over. She came to kneel again and he repeated the motion. She was giggling by the fifth push over and actively wrestling him.
He held her off easily, using on defensive moves to keep her at bay. The last move that sent her sailing back onto the mattress had her rolling to her side in a fit of laughter. " What the hell Spock? Why are you pushing me over?"
He crawled towards her on all fours and grinned. " I will not be made to meld so easy. I call for kali nohv."
She sat up on her elbows and blew her hair out of her face. " Kali what? There is no such thing!"
His grinned broaded. " There is now. If you want to meld with me you much subdue me."
She narrowed her eyes and launched herself at him. He blocked her hands from reaching his neck but missed her knee coming towards his sternum. He gave a loud umph as she knocked the air out of his lungs and jerked to evade the foot flying towards his head. She started towards him again and fell back as he pulled at the duvet. They continued their flailing across the bed for another minute or two. The air was full of their grunts, gasps and gloaty chuckles until Nyota had Spock down against the mattress with her seated on top of his abdomen.
He smiled as she gave a hearty crow of victory and held his wrists together. " Ha! I got you!"
Spock blinked at her smiled at her puny attempt to shackle his hands. " I have been caught."
She nibbled at a finger and his pupils dilated wide. " You surrender, Vulcan?"
Spock gave a quick lift of his eyebrow and nodded. " Indeed I do, Human."
She leaned forward until they were nose to nose. " Well then. Gimme that mind meld!"
She squealed as Spock broke her grip on his wrists and grabbed her waist. He toppled her body onto the bed and pinned her down in one fluid motion. She was just about to try regaining her position when one of his hands clamped down over her wrists. The whole switch took less than three seconds. She panted up at his face with a tired grin. This Spock might be gently but he was no less capable of handling himself. " Whoa there, tiger."
He pressed his free hand to her temple with a snide look of superiority. His fingers slowly drummed themselves across her face until they felt the tug of her psi points. " Do you have any special requests?"
" Yeah." She watched his face flush with heat as he picked up the thoughts that she left unsaid. He swallowed hard and she felt his grip on her wrists tightened. " Is that what you want to see?"
She nodded and submissively lowered her gaze. She heard him exhale and felt his hand slide from her temple down around her neck. Her eyes fluttered closed and her mouth fell open as he gave it a slight squeeze.
His mind was silent to her in his touch but she felt it hovering beneath the pads of his fingertips. He adjusted his grip to cup her jaw and held her firmly in place. She stifled a moan as he moved above her to gain a more comfortable position. " Be still and submit to me."
Nyota's eyes cracked open. " Yes."
Spock's face above her faded from her sight and the image of a room he had never been in filled her mind. Her Spock's room. Inside the dark cabin she stood waiting near the door.
He came towards her in a uniform that inspired equal parts pride and disgust within her. He shouldn't be wearing it but this Spock was. She had to know and she wanted to see. If he were to slip through the hole that separated their worlds, what would he do and who would he be?
" Your mind to my mind, my thoughts to your thoughts." he whispered.
The turn in phrasing didn't elude her nor did the emotions that ravaged through them both as he fully committed to answering her questions.
Mirrorverse: AOS!Nyota
He was avoiding her.
Ever since that attack in the gym, Spock had been distant. She couldn't say how she felt about it. Their whole relationship was complicated.
To say she felt relief would have been too simple. It didn't fully capture everything she felt. She couldn't be relieved if he never left her alone. And this Spock projected everything but relief.
His face never betrayed the simmering concern within him but their bond was rigid with it.
The attack and the subsequent information he gained had riled him into action. His Vulcan underlings flanked them every time they reported for duty. Everyone was under orders to travel in pairs wherever they went. Partners synchronized their schedules and the whole of their makeshift clan rotated the times in which they made their moved about the ship. All of this was to be performed until the threat was neutralized.
" A defensive strategy until I have concocted an offensive move."he told her when they made their way to the bridge the day after the attack. " Until I know the game, I cannot know how to play or break the rules."
Spock remained a stickler for her appearance and demeanor outside their quarters. He wouldn't have anything but the vilest version of herself on display while on duty. Nyota did as he instructed begrudgingly.
She didn't want to be this awful, miserable version of herself. Shouldn't someone set an example if anything were to change? Someone had to be a light around here. The desire to be so in this dark, foul place burned at her but she had enough sense to know it would be suicidal.
By the fourth day of kicking and punching her way around the bridge, Nyota had had enough. She rose on the fifth morning in the foulest mood since she'd been there.
Not only did she have to pretend to be a raging bitch but she was lonely while doing it.
Spock had made all the gestures of a man taken with his woman around the ship. The playful tugs of her hair and the hungry swats to her rear stopped immediately once they were back inside their cabin. He would simply disengage.
All of their pretending and caution made her want to cry. She wanted someone who would listen to her rail against this horrid place but she wasn't exactly in a place to have her 'feelings heard and met'.
There would be no arms to hold her as she fell apart. Spock wasn't touching her if he didn't have to and she wasn't sure if it was for her sake or his.
It started with the martial arts lessons. The vile version of her mate had altered their sparring. Nyota would be left flat on her back and breathless on the mat but unmolested. It's that last part that angered her. After weeks and months of having her body subjected to his, Spock had abruptly stopped without warning. She was thrilled at the solace but her body felt like a junkie on withdrawal. Anytime he lazed about the room half-clad, Nyota felt her pussy clench in want.
She had never denied her Spock or herself the pleasure of each other whenever they felt like it. Though this Vulcan seemed to be on rut steroids, her Spock had a healthy sexual appetite as well. Sometimes Nyota had wondered if their lust was all them or if the bond between them had feed into their amorous desires. No matter how things had been with her Spock, it felt jarring to both need the distance from this Spock and hunger for him at the same time.
And their bond; it felt so strained. Between his stress of an enemy attack and her craving for any type of companionship, she felt off balanced. Nyota didn't know how Spock felt about it. She couldn't feel hardly anything from him but fraying alertness.
She was tired of the psionic fatigue and tired of him. She wanted Spock but she wanted her Spock. Well...most of that was true. She wanted her life back but…
" Nyota."
Spock's voice cut through the air. Nyota rose up onto her elbows and glanced over to where he was. A quick survey of the things let her know what he wanted.
Spock said nothing as she padded off towards the bathroom. He sat waiting in his chair with a thin robe loosely draped around him. A small but wicked looking knife was in his hand and a container of shaving cream stood perched between his thighs.
She sighed and rolled out of bed. " Hold on. Let me pee."
He watched her as he sharpened his blade, silently conveying his eagerness. What nonsense she thought. She didn't have to shave him everyday but for the past week and a half he had demanded she do so. When she did Spock was ecstatic as a Vulcan could be about anything. It was probably because he had her sit across his lap as she did so.
Nyota ignored him as best she could before the bathroom hid her away. Let him feel the same disconnection for once she thought as emptied her bladder. She was sick of his foolishness and him. Well, that wasn't all true.
And there was; the awful truth. She wasn't sick of him.
She hated this universe, hated the way that people treated each other and this demented version of Starfleet. All that but she didn't hate Spock. What was worse is that Nyota had a sinking feeling that maybe she couldn't.
She loathed him plenty but that had more to do with his actions than his feelings. She wanted to be true to her Spock and to return home to him. This mirror Spock hadn't honored either desire in the least. He had actively worked to keep her here and ravaged her in a way that had seared itself into her memory. None of his scheming had been right but she couldn't get any of it out of her mind.
Nyota shuttered and closed her eyes. It would have helped if this version of her mate was unthinkingly cruel to her. However he wasn't. In fact, this Spock had strived to be decent to her as he felt his woman should be treated. He cared for her tirelessly and he was training her to care for him.
It wasn't the way that she would have gone about things but it was all that he had known. And over the past few weeks she had noted the changes he had made to accommodate her. He had boasted about bending her to his will but she saw the steady trajectory of his will under hers as he sought to woo her to him. He was in love with her and she didn't want to examine how she felt about him.
The thought of what she might conclude hovered over her in a heavy weight of guilt.
She cared about him. Nyota cupped her face into her hands and bit her lip. She despised herself but that didn't get rid of the feeling of shame. He viewed her as his beloved and acted accordingly. In that way this Vulcan was much more loyal to the notion of being bonded to Nyota and not necessarily a particular one. He loved Nyota, full stop.
And maybe it was their bond and this twisted world making her mad but she worried she was beginning to love him back.
Nyota lifted her head from her palms and glanced around the bathroom. She was avoiding him now too. Or maybe she was hiding? You know you're hiding girl.
" Well I don't want to." she grumbled aloud. She got up to wash her hands and stared in the mirror. She looked like a stranger. Her short hair hung in a mess around her shoulders. Scars and bruises dotted her body. And her eyes that had once been so bright and warm now looked cold and haunted.
She sighed and began to wash her face. There was no sense in hiding or avoiding him. May as well get today's minstritations out of the way. Hopefully it would be one step closer to getting out of this nightmare.
She came back out waving her wet fingers dry and Spock extended the canister of shaving cream towards her. " As close as you are able, K'diwa."
She nodded and took the can. She had learned being one's woman didn't just entail spreading her legs, at least not as a Vulcan's woman. She was in charge of his care and Spock in turn, handled hers.
Each morning was done with a set of grooming rituals. Nyota combed his hair, shampooing it on those occasions when he dragged her into the shower with him. When he ordered her to stand before him, Nyota had worried she would have been bald before he was finished shampooing and conditioning.
Much to her surprise, Spock was proficient in her hair care. His fingers worked quickly at detangling her ends and took care with the new growth at her scalp. As for styling, Spock did whatever he wished for her to wear that day. Sometimes he would layer her head with twists or braids. Other times he would style of her bob, either making the strands wavy or shock straight.
Next Nyota would coat his body in a light, fragrant oil. It was messy and intimate as he had her touch him everywhere. On the days he didn't pull her into the shower, he would find ways of playing with her body as she lotioned. From their they both dressed and headed out to report for duty.
The only deviations to their schedule were the days that he asked for her to shave him. Shaving him came before everything and today was no different.
He pulled her onto his lap and raised his chin. " Remember, shave close, female."
She clenched her teeth and began to lather his jaw with the cream. She felt his skin vibrating with the purr she couldn't hear. She rubbed the residual gel onto her night shirt and retrieved the knife from him.
He stopped her just as she was bringing it up and cleared his throat. " Straddle me."
Nyota drew and rose to compile. Straddling him was difficult. His legs were long and the muscles around his thighs were large. She had to hold his shoulders to keep herself steady so she wouldn't fall. It wasn't something she wanted to do but she wasn't about to fall out of pride.
She planted her hands on shoulders and swung one leg followed by the other over his. Spock watched her as she settled onto his lap and raised his chin when she lifted the blade once more.
He remained quiet as she shaved him. She pushed at his head and he moved it willingly so she could change the angles. She fell into a rhtym of the knife's scraping and slid of blade across her nighty. She finished the last patch of hair and started to rise up when his hands clamped down around her thighs. " Give me the knife."
She narrowed her eyes at him but complied, extending the hilt in his direction. He snatched it from her hand through it across the room. Nyota watched wide eyed as it clattered noisily across the floor before skidding to a stop.
She turned towards him and pushed at his shoulder. " Real mature, Spock."
" Take off your clothing."
She froze and gave him a hard glare. " Why?"
He glared back at her and took ahold of the neckline of her shirt. " Do not question my commands."
Faster than she could counteract him, Spock placed her other hand onto her shirt and rent the thin fabric in half. She protested with a shout and aimed to slap at him but he caught her hand with infuriating speed.
A smile spread across his face as he firmly yet carefully wrestled her down to her knees. She growled at him and he stared down at her indifferently. " Your shirt was dirty. I did not wish it upon you anything longer. And your longing for me and my affection has finally driven me to this end."
" What?"
She watched in lustful horror as he shifted in his seat and pulled his rapidly-hardening lok from his pants. He stroked it lovingly and wagged the swollen head in her direction. " You wish to have me? Suck me."
Nyota pursed her lips in opposition before gasping as his fingers laced tightly into her hair. He pulled her towards his lap and groan as his shaft slid across her cheek. Nyota felt the slick trail of precum line her face as she did and jerked away from it. He couldn't just spring himself on her. Not after days of denying her anything at all.
A low growl rumbled from his throat as he felt her refusal. " You want me and then refuse me. I leave you be and you crave me more? What logic would you adhere to, Nyota? Your body wants mine. Your mind cries out for mine and your unspent passion begs me to temper it."
He held her head still and let his cock bob heavily against her lips. The clean scent of his musk had her mouth watering to taste him. He smelled so good, so utterly familiar. He hummed and tilted his hips to bump against her lips. " You would deny yourself the pleasure we could have just to spite me? I can feel you urge to take me into your mouth burning at you."
Her nostrils flared as he traced each and every faultline within her. " I hate you."
" Yes, just as much as you love me."
She opened her mouth to protest when he surged his hips forward and filled her mouth. She howled around the girthy intrusion and twisted in his grip. What a sneaky, rotten bastard. Not even half of his dick was in her mouth. She flicked her tongue to shove the length away from her throat while pushing away from him with her hands on his knees.
She only succeeded in having him groan and pump into her mouth. His mind was devolving into simple observations. How soft and slippery her tongue felt. The soothing warmth of her mouth around him. The arousing anger he had stoked within her. She bit at his shaft as best she could and he made a pity, mewling whimper. " Careful. I might come in your mouth."
He chuckled when he felt her spiking fury and licked his lips. " Pretty girl. Beautiful human."
He reached out and caressed her face with sleepy eyes. " I regret cutting your hair so early."
Nyota's eyes flickered up towards his face. His eyes smiled back at her while his mouth remained severe. " I would have enjoyed feeding you my cock like this when your hair was long. The length felt good tangled around my fingers."
He hissed the last words. His hips were gaining speed, bobbing his thick shaft between her lips. He hadn't pushed the enormous head of his lok to the back of her throat but she felt his growing excitement to possibly try it.
Nyota swallowed at the hot drop of precum that dribbled across her tongue and closed her eyes. The mild taste sent her back to time of dating the Vulcan. She quietly imagined it was her Spock she had in her mouth and his taste she was enjoying. Seconds past before this Spock turned her traded her anger with his.
" Open your eyes." he barked at her.
She did so defiantly. Her glare did little to throw him off. If anything it had the opposite effect. He bored his eyes into hers and hissed between his teeth. " I am your Spock."
She spat the no as best she could manage around his cock and tried again to buck free of his grip. He tightened his fingers and snarled down at her. " Look at me! I am your Spock."
Nyota shut her eyes and pushed away from him. He wasn't, not really. He was-
Spock jerked his hips back and sent his lok popping free from her lips. He stood and carried her with him. Nyota gasped at the air as he whirled her around to face the chair he had been sitting in. Using the grip he had in her hair, Spock directed her body to rest over the back of it. Nyota's hands flew to the seat to keep her the furniture from slipping out from under her.
The nudge of his cock diverted her attention. " Spock!"
He surged inside her. Nyota gasped out a husky moan that had Spock praising her in Vulcan behind her. " There. This is want you wanted is it not?"
She screwed her eyes shut and bit at her lip. His hand had gone to her hips and held her still in the onslaught. Nyota's hold on the chair tightened as he withdrew and sent his cock further inside her. He thrust again and Nyota's jaw fell open with a rattling sigh. " Oh…"
He was working his hips in that way that made her want to scream. Rolling to the left then winding to the right, churning his lok back and forth inside her like he was whipping her wetness into cream. A shrill wail finally broke free when he performed a particularly deep snap against her rear. " Fuck!"
Nyota heard the smile in his voice as he went on taunting her. " My pleasure." He slowed his rhythm, until she was panting and shaking below him. Foul creature. Why does he have to handle me so wickedly?
Spock jerked against her and sank himself to the hilt. " Wickedly? Is this not want you wanted? Your mind has been clawing at me to having my way with you for weeks but I held back for your sensibilities."
" No...no you didn't!"
She heard a deep, disapproving rumble issue from his chest and felt his grip tightened on her hips. " So I chose incorrectly then? Me succumbing to my appetite for your body isn't what you wanted? You and your cold behavior have made me go hungry and now I am punished for given you what we both wanted?"
" Cold behav- Spock!" she cried. He leaned over her and crooked her head to the side by her hair. " I will fuck you until you acknowledge me as yours."
" What? Ah! Spock! No! I-"
Her voice was lost. The lok that had been stretching her walls was now set to wreck them. She held onto the chair in desperation as her mirror mate whipped it back and forth within her.
" Say it!" he demanded in a disturbingly even tone. Nyota knew the voice on this Spock. His interrogation voice. She knew then that he wouldn't give up until his objective was achieved.
" Say what?" she moaned between clenched teeth. This should be awful, she waited for it to be but his every touch and thrust sang through her. That aching pit in her stomach started to wane. Nyota writhed in his grip as her impending orgasm grew in its place. He shouldn't be able to do this to her. He shouldn't be able to make it feel so fucking good that she had to fight the pleasure of it. " Spock!"
" Yes." he exhaled. " I am your Spock. Say it."
" Mmm, no!" she sputtered. Her climax was mounting and nearly on her. She tried again to get free but his grip on her waist and in her hair were like manacles. " You're not my-"
" I am your Spock. Say it." he interjected. He was infuriatingly calm to be so livid. She could feel his jealousy burning at her from his hands and his lok. Every time his cock sank back inside her Nyota could feel his possessiveness rolling off of it into her. She was his but he was demanding to be hers. It was a fight that she was losing.
Her strength faltered as he hit her with a particularly sugary stroke. " No."
Spock slid his hand from her waist down to the flare of her hip and adjusted the angle in which he plunged into her. The effect was immediate. The first four strokes in Nyota came with a ragged scream.
Spock grit his teeth but continued to beat against her. His strong arms gathered her as she collapsed into a spasming mess. She felt him lift her and walk across the room before depositing her down on her knees and forearms against the bed. She wailed weakly as he picked up where he left off. With a sharp pitch his hips against her backside, Spock sent his thick length back inside her.
" Say it. Feel me! I am your Spock, Nyota."
She began to rise to her hands when he quickly pushed her head down against the mattress. He took her harder then, somewhat aided by the excess wetness of her climax. Such action sent her crashing into another, paralyzing orgasm. Nyota croaked and shook, unable to control herself as Spock sent her higher still.
" There is no need for such resistance." he said. " Refusing me is akin to denying yourself. We are one Nyota."
" No we're not. I-"
His held her hips and picked up speed. " Say it." he growled.
" Spock!"
" Say that I am your Spock."
" No…!" she gasped. She clawed at the sheets as another orgasm tore through her. Spock merely licked his lips and hummed in response. His hands still held her captive and his cock still churned within her." Say it."
Nyota strength continued to ebb as he worked her over. She was tired and delirious and with no escape. As if sensing her flagging resolve, Spock snaked a hand between her legs and circled two fingers around her clit. It was too much.
She clutched the duvet in her fists and keened into the air. " Spock! Spo-"
"Who am I, Nyota." he demanded. His voice firm, almost threatening in its weight. He had been preparing for this moment. He would gain everything he needed from her, validation, ownership and submission and she would get everything she deemed she needed. " You are the one that allowed yourself to be lonely. Who am I, Nyota Uhura."
" Spock!" she mumbled through her thrall.
" Who's Spock, Nyota Uhura?"
" My Spock." she sighed with sniff.
" Again!"
" My Spock."
Spock took her then in a frenzy. Her mind was a haze, floating in and out of consciousness as Spock's lok plumbed her within an inch of her sanity. She was vaguely aware that she had a deathgrip on the duvet and had started drooling onto its surface. She tried to speak but her lips refused to cooperate. Spock had to fucked her into a stupor and there was no way of stopping him.
Not until the hot spurt of his seed began to flood her did she give in to the soft darkness edging around her mind.
When she came to she was surprised to find herself in his arms. Spock had her cradled against him as he read over a PADD he had prompted on her thigh. The next thing she noticed is that both of them were fully clothed. Well as dressed as she could be in this universe's uniform.
Nyota blinked blearily up at his face. He was glance away from the tablet when he felt her eyes and him and met her gaze. She blinked again and gently broke the silence." Why?"
He turned off the PADD and turned his attention towards her. " Specify the issue in question."
She licked her lips nervously and tasted the lingering dregs of precum in the process. Her face grew hot as she tried to push back the memory of her mouth being jaw-achingly full of him. Nyota turned away but her caught her chin and moved her head to face him.
His gaze was stern when he spoke again. " What is it that you need to know?"
Nyota pursed her lips shut and fidgeted. She didn't want to know the answer but a deep part of her, the part locked in the bond between them, needed to know. " Why did you push me - why did you have me claim you as mine?"
His jaw ticked at her probing but he otherwise remained impassive. " Because I needed you to."
Now that really confused her. She sat up a bit but moaned as her sore body protested to being moved. " You needed it? Why?"
He held her gaze for a beat before looking away towards the corner of the room. " As an anchor. I'm going to help you get back to your timeline and universe."
Nyota sat within his arms stunned. She was going back? He was helping her? Her claiming him was the change of heart he needed to do so?! For a moment she thought she would faint. She was going back home.
As her mind wrapped around the sudden development Spock continued his silent embrace of her. She hardly thought twice of it since he didn't converse as much as the Spock from her universe but then she felt the bond or faintness thereof. He was so close to her, she had hardly felt the distance. It felt like he was clinging to her, like a drowning man at the air as he fought to stay at the surface. " Spock?"
His disconnection was abrupt and swift. Nyota reached out for him with a shiver. " Don't do that."
" I won't risk you staying here. To have the best odds of survival you must leave." Me…
A hollow ache filled her ribs and had her bending her knees up to her chest. " Oh God."
She gasped for air and dug her nails into his clothing. " Spock? What's happening."
" My apologies." He pulled her closer and nuzzled his face into her hair. He took a loud, shuddering breath and clutched her tighter. The bond flickered back open and mirrored the pain tormenting her chest. Him. The pain was Spock's?
Hot wetness dripped down across her neck and she stilled. Was he crying? He pushed her off and away from him before she could ask and went to his nightstand. " We will be late reporting in if we do not leave for the bridge now."
He busied himself with adjusting his sash and tunic. He kept his back to her as she rose out of bed on unsteady and walked towards him. She came behind him and he stop fidgeting with his uniform. " Thank you."
" Do not thank me for this." he scoffed. The ache blossomed in her chest again and she was able to recognize it. Heartbreak.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his back. " I'm sorry."
She felt his chest push against her arms and he took a deep breath. " There is no need for apologies."
" I'm sorry for hurting you. You've been a terror but you've kept me safe."
He lowered his head and place a hand over hers. " I wouldn't think of doing any less. You are my female."
She gave a humorless chuckle against his back and closed her eyes. " No, but your female will be back."
She inhaled sharply as she felt his hand tight over hers. " No." he said. " You've never understood. My female is Nyota and Nyota is here now. My only hope is that Nyota comes back to me after I send her away."
He pulled at her hands and turned to face her. His face was stern but his eyes were heartbreaking. " There is no logic behind wishing or hope but I do hope Nyota, any version of her, comes back to me."
He held two fingers beneath her chin and tilted it so she would look up at him. " I cherish Nyota so much that I would even risk losing her and dying of grief."
Nyota blinked back tears and cleared her throat. " Stop being dramatic. It's weird."
He gave her a wry smile and dropped his fingers away. " Vulcans are not dramatic. Just burdened with the truth. Let's go."
As they made their way to the bridge, Nyota was hit with a question. " Spock? How are you going to get me home?"
He called for the turbolift and turned to face her. " I'm going to enlist help."
" Whose help?" she asked. There weren't that many people who could help with this rescue mission and even fewer that they could trust.
Spock opened his mouth to respond when the turbolift door's opened and his Vulcan guard stood at the ready. Chekov was also in the lift's cabin off to the left. He eyed them curiously and grinned at them. " Commander. Lieutenant."
Spock motioned for her to enter first and he followed in after her. Chekov's eyes were fastened to her in a way Nyota found alarming. What could have been passing interest now felt like she was under a microscope for study.
Spock's hand settled around the back of her neck and she felt his mental nudge to discourage Pavel's attention. She huffed and glared back at him. " Can I help you with something? Maybe a fist to the face?"
Chekov smiled and slowly shook. He turned his face towards lift's door and rocked on his heels. " Nyet. Sorry for staring."