I'm a sucker for time travel, and I can't find any Steven Universe ones that I haven't read, so here's an entirely self indulgent one. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe. If I did, it would still be going on.
If Sadie screams, she won't admit to it later. She definitely doesn't scream. Nope. No screaming here.
"Hey Sadie," Lars mumbles next to her. "were you screaming?"
"What?" she shoots up, suddenly aware of what's happening. "No!"
"Pretty sure you were." He raises his eyebrow. "You were screeching actually. Very loud."
"Shut up lars. It's not like you weren't."
He sticks his middle finger up at her and she rolls her eyes. Typical Lars.
Then Sadie remembers why she was definitely not screaming, and blinks.
She blinks because, not two metres from where they've been unceremoniously dumped on the ground, is a purple thing. When she says thing, Sadie means that she has no idea what the hell it is, and thing is the only acceptable name for it.
It is, as was previously mentioned, purple, and is in the vague shape of what looks to be a misshapen toilet.
Why not.
Then it opens its eyes, and Sadie doesn't scream again.
Because it has eyes. Of course it has eyes.
"Hey." It says. Because of course it can talk.
"Hi." Sadie says, trying to keep the suspiciousness out of her voice and completely failing.
Then it changes into Amethyst. At least, Sadie thinks she's called Amethyst. She's one of Steven's moms... aunts… whatever.
"You're the one who keeps stealing the donuts." Is all she can say, because she still doesn't know what the hell is going on.
"Yeah." Lars agrees next to her. "What?"
"Donuts?" Amethyst asks. "What donuts? I haven't done that since that dead beat old man started running the shop."
"Uh… what?"
"Ya know, ol Dewey. The donut guy."
"You mean Mayor Dewey?"
"Well yeah I guess. Seriously Sadie, you haven't been out of town that long."
"Out of…"
Amethyst shrugs. "Welp. I'm gonna go eat some garbage. See you dudes later I guess."
"Right."
"Uh, Sadie?" Lars says. "What the hell?"
"Don't look at me!" she exclaims. "I don't know!"
He shrugs again and glances in the direction that Amethyst went off. "This sucks. I can't even get any phone signal." he pauses and furrows his brows. "Which is weird. We're right next to the big donut and -" he's cut off because he notices what Sadie noticed a minute ago. "Classic Dewey? frosted Dewey? Mayor Donut? What the actual hell?"
It's her turn to shrug.
"Seriously. What the hell?"
Sadie takes her time answering him, looking around her with increasing dread. She takes in the new donut advertisements and the line of people in the shop, most of whom she's never seen before. At least half of them are strangely coloured too, like they're not human – like Steven's lot. Gems, Sadie remembers.
Sadie has watched a lot of movies. She's watched all the classic horrors and she's devoured all the sci fi movies. She's also seen the time travel ones where the main character is dumped in a strangely familiar setting and has to navigate the future while trying not to mess anything up and ultimately failing. She can't help but feel like the situation she and Lars are in is horribly similar.
She walks over to the newsagent on the boardwalk with lars shouting after her. Almost giggling at how cliché it is, she picks up a newspaper and scans the page for the date. 20th March. Sure. That's fine. 2021. Um…
Shit.
Holy shit.
"What is it?" Lars grumbles. She shoves the paper in his face. "What?" he asks.
"Look at the date."
He looks, and if they weren't stuck in some future timeline, his face would have been enough to make her keel over laughing. Unfortunately, they are and so she doesn't laugh because her thoughts mirror his face.
"Holy shit." He echoes. "So, er…"
Their joint bemusement is interrupted by a vaguely familiar voice. "Hey, Sadie. When did you cut your hair? What're you doing back in town?"
They both whip around to find the girl that Steven hangs around with staring at them. Connie, Sadie's mind supplies. She looks different, but of course she does. They're in the future.
"Woah!" she says. "Lars?"
"What?" he grunts.
"You… ah… you're not… you're not pink?"
"What?" his voice raises in incredulous question. "Pink?"
"Are you two okay" Connie asks. "You seem off."
"Well yeah we're freaking off!" Lars yells. "We're like five years in the freaking future!"
"Lars!" Sadie hisses. "You can't just tell people that!"
Connie watches them with her eyebrow raised and a smirk on her face. It occurs to Sadie that she's probably nearly as old as them now.
"I'm probably the best person to come to about magic stuff, you know." She says. "Although time travel is a new one for me."
"Where's Steven?" Sadie asks. "Wouldn't he be a little more informed?"
"Steven's not here at the moment." Connie says. "I can take you to him if you really want?"
"God no!" Lars groans. "I don't wanna think about how annoying thirteen year old Steven is."
"You know he's thirteen in our time, right?" Sadie tells him.
"No! how was I supposed to know that? He looks like eight."
"True." She allows. "But if you bothered to talk to him…"
"Uh guys?" Connie reminds them she's there and clears her throat.
"Sorry." Sadie apologises. "It would be great to see Steven. Maybe he and his, uh, family might have some answers."
"Sure." The girl replies. "You'll have to go on lion though… do you guys know about lion yet?"
"Lion?" Lars yelps. "What lion?"
"Ohh boy." Connie sighs.
Sadie and Lars follow her to Steven's beach where, sitting on the steps to his house, is an honest to god bright pink lion. Why not?
Neither of them wants to be the first to go any closer, and they shrink back until Connie walks calmly up to it and rubs its neck, causing it to roll over and start purring. Like a cat. It's a huge purring cat. That's pink.
Well duh.
Sadie shakes her head and timidly climbs up onto the beast at Connie's nod. Lars follows her after a pregnant pause.
Then they set off, and Sadie does not scream again. Lars does.
The lion begins to run and soon he's on the actual ocean, because this lion is apparently Jesus. Sure. Then it roars, and while Sadie is trying to keep her hold on its mane, a portal opens. At least, she thinks it's a portal. It's not like she's ever seen one before.
Honestly, today can't get any more surprising.
Until she sees Steven Universe. He's always one for defying expectations.
Steven has actually grown in five years which is mind blowing on its own. He's taller than Sadie now and nearly as tall as Lars – which is really saying something. He's got this jacket that Sadie is only a bit jealous of, because it's a really cool jacket. He has abandoned the constant red t shirts for a black version, but he still has the sandals. Sadie hates those sandals – they always bring the sand into the big donut and she has to clear it up later.
"Hey Connie." He says, and his voice is quite a lot deeper. Huh, puberty finally hit him then. "What're you doing here?"
Then lion moves and reveals the two of them and Steven, much to Sadie's surprise, simply raises his eyebrows and groans.
"Just when I was having a semi decent day."
"It's a classic time travel thing." Connie explains. "They turned up near the big donut."
"Please say Dewey didn't try and sell them a Classic Dewey or something."
She giggles. "Nah, its fine. They just wanted to see you."
"I didn't." Lars says.
Half an hour later, Steven is completely caught up on everything, Connie has left on the lion, and Sadie and Lars still have no idea what is going on.
"I guess you two probably want to meet the future versions of yourselves." Steven remarks.
"That would be interesting." Sadie allows.
"You've both changed quite a bit." He warns. "Like, a lot."
"What do you mean?" she asks.
Steven smiles to himself. "you'll see. Do you know where we are?"
Lars nods, about as excited as he's going to let himself get. "Empire City!" he grins. Then he frowns. "What are you doing in Empire City?"
Steven laughs. "I'm staying here for a couple of months. I'm on a road trip – like self discovery, you know. I moved out of Beach City a couple of months ago and I'm looking for somewhere to settle down. I'm here right now to see a friend." He pauses. "You actually, Sadie."
"Me?"
"Yeah." He checks his watch and grins. "It should be about time. Come on, get in the car."
And then Steven leads them over to a car, gets in the driver's seat and drives off, leaving Sadie wondering who ever decided to trust Steven Universe with a car.
Surprisingly, they don't die on the ride over to… wherever it is.
It's a music venue – big and retro. Steven wanders over to the two men outside the door and shows them some sort of pass. They quickly let him in, glancing at Lars and Sadie as they follow him. Lars is grumbling.
At the other end of the room, Sadie sees some people setting up equipment and, with no small amount of shock, recognises the cool kids and… herself. She's apparently changed her style in the last five years, because this Sadie has a leather jacket – in fact, it's the one she has in her cupboard but can never bring herself to wear. There's also the eye makeup which is new, because Sadie has never worn makeup in her life. It makes her look terrifying, which she assumes is the point. This Sadie also has green hair. Okay. Sure.
Lars is staring next to her.
Jenny looks up and notices Steven, letting out an exclamation and coming over to hug him. He laughs, although Sadie notices he freezes for the shortest second.
Then Jenny sees Lars and Sadie and promptly falls over. Buck and sour cream dash over, and their reactions are slightly less dramatic.
"Rad." Sour Cream says.
"Buck is confused." Buck adds.
"Uh… hey… guys." Sadie tries.
Jenny, who has recovered from her shock, says, "What did Steven do this time?"
"Excuse me!" Steven protests. "This has nothing to do with me."
"Sure."
"Really! Connie said they turned up back in beach city."
"Right."
"They're from the past." He continues, perhaps sensing that Jenny doesn't believe a thing he's saying. Sadie doesn't know why he thinks that statement helps his case.
"I gathered." She says. "No offence you two, but it's kinda obvious."
"Gee thanks." Lars scowls.
"Yep. Good old Lars. I missed you."
"Excuse me?'
When Sadie – the older Sadie – makes her way over, there's an awkward pause, and then she's laughing her head off while Lars continues to stare at her.
Then people begin to flood into the venue, and that's when Sadie finds out her future self is a rock star.
Holy shit.
Their music is actually pretty good, and Sadie loves the horror gimmick they have. She's still wondering how the hell her future self has the confidence to do all that, or rather, why doesn't she.
Lars' eyes are still fixated on the stage.
They go back to Steven's apartment after the concert. And yes. Steven has an apartment.
It's not that Sadie can't see him as an adult. it's just he was a kid a couple of hours ago – a kid who couldn't even talk to someone without jumping and screaming. Sadie finds it hard to believe that he's the same person.
Lars agrees as he looks around the place with wide eyes. The two of them crash on the couch, absolutely exhausted.
When they wake up in the morning, it takes both of them a few minutes to adjust and remember that they're in the future, and that Steven Universe is making breakfast in the kitchen.
It's actually a really nice breakfast. He's a surprisingly good cook, considering he gets – used to get – all his meals at the big donut.
"So." He says as they sit down at the kitchen counter. "Today I was thinking we could go and see Lars."
"Sure." Sadie answers.
"What do I do?" Lars asks, chewing on a piece of toast and not bothering to close his mouth.
"Well uh…" Steven's eyes dart to the side and Sadie frowns. "You… kind of… you aren't exactly in the area."
"Meaning?"
"You're not really… on… Earth." Steven finishes, wincing.
"Not on… what the hell?"
"You're a… space pirate now."
"A what?"
They're standing in a room of green. In front of them are several women, and Lars. Who is pink.
Bright freaking pink.
Like the lion.
He has a cape. A really, really cool cape.
"Hey guys." He says, completely casual, like he's not standing there with aliens and he's not a different colour and everything's totally normal.
"I need to sit down." Her Lars mutters.
The pink one laughs nervously. "This must be pretty weird, huh. Hey, Rutile?" he turns to one of the gems who is watching the exchange with wide eyes.
"Yes, captain?"
Captain.
"Could you guys give us a bit of space for a sec?"
"Sure thing! Of course!" the gem's two heads say. And she… they… happily wander away downstairs.
"So." Pink Lars says. "Uh."
"I'll leave you guys now." Steven smirks, slowly backing away, and then taking a running jump… into Lars' head.
What?
His head glows, and Steven disappears feet first. Sadie is confused.
"I hate you Steven." He grumbles.
"So why are you pink?" Sadie asks him, trying to keep the conversation going. The guy winces and chuckles.
"It's a long story, involving me, Steven and several gem robots."
"We have time."
He sighs. "well basically…" then he's cut off, because the ship's green walls are no longer green. They are red. With large red warning signs. And beeping.
"Shit." Lars groans. "Shit shit shit shit shit."
"What is it?" Sadie asks, gulping.
"Nothing much. Just an old enemy firing at the ship and taking out the nova thrusters. Again! Damn Emerald."
"Captain Lars." Someone says – someone who sounds like Sadie's grandma, but does definitely not look like her.
Again, Sadie doesn't scream when she sees the giant caterpillar gem.
"The nova thrusters have been…"
"I know Fluorite, thanks." He says. "Please try to get us back online. Tell Rhodonite to get up here too."
"Yes captain." She says, and slowly creeps back down the stairs.
Then a face appears on the screen and lars groans again. "You two hide." He hisses. "I'll deal with emerald."
"Who's emerald?"
"Hide!"
Sadie and Lars are shoved into a corner as they watch the other Lars tap something and adjust his cape. He says something to the face, who laughs and generally acts evil. Seriously, this woman would be the urban dictionary entry for evil.
Her Lars is cowering in their corner.
The future Lars most certainly is not. He's laughing right back at her, and he's confident and he's just not acting like Lars.
"The nova thrusters are back online, captain." Sadie hears as Fluorite sticks her gigantic head up onto the main floor.
"Yes!" he grins and turns to the screen. "Bingo bongo!"
The gem yells something but is cut off as the screen fades away.
"I wish she'd get off our backs." Lars laments. "Has no one told her there's peace throughout the galaxy or whatever? She's even had an official warning from Blue Diamond and Steven. Just give it up!"
"What the hell just happened?" asks the Lars next to her. Sadie echoes that.
"We're under attack from Emerald!" shouts someone from downstairs.
A couple of hours later finds them back on earth somehow, as they went through Lars' head. That's a thing. It's like a magic pink savannah and Sadie couldn't breathe in there. Then they came out of the pink lion's mane, because why not?
Sadie is well and truly done with all this magic shit; she just wants to get back to stocking napkins at this point.
Steven is there waiting for them when they tumble out of the lion, thoroughly disgruntled.
"You guys good?"
"Yeah, yeah. Great." Lars growls. "Just great."
"Good!" Steven grins. Seems he still hasn't learned about sarcasm. "I guess you guys want to go home now?"
"Yes!" Sadie urges. "Please."
Sadie doesn't scream when they are dumped outside the big donut once more. She's fearful for a second, but the shop has the right posters up now, and there are no gems on the boardwalk. It's all perfectly normal.
When she gets home that night, she goes to her cupboard and takes out her jacket, holding it up in contemplation. Huh.
Maybe she'll try and wear this a bit more.
No I'm still not over this show, nor do I plan to be anytime soon.