Hermione cursed as Ron spilt a beer down the front of her black tee.
She wasn't sure why on Earth she had agreed to party with Harry and Ron.
The two had been on at her in the years since their graduation from Hogwarts to let her hair down and live like a typical teenager and student.
The three of them flatted together at Grimmauld Place, catching the Floo to their classes each day in the city.
Ron and Harry were training as Aurors, heading into their final year. Hermione had taken a different route, deciding to study policy. Her goal was to get into the Ministry and start promoting some real change that was overdue. She was also in her final year, exceeding her Professor's expectations as per usual.
It was because they were in their final year that Hermione had finally conceded and allowed the boys to throw the massive house party they had been dreaming of ever since they left Hogwarts.
She was regretting her decision a little now.
The house was positively swarming with people. Every floor was crammed with young witches and wizards. Word had clearly spread like wildfire about the Golden Trio finally hosting a party.
"Sorry, 'Mione," Ron apologised, grabbing a nearby dishtowel and attempting to dab up the beer on Hermione's tee. As he got a little too close to her chest, she shoved him away gently.
"Don't worry about it," Hermione groaned, rolling her eyes.
The crowd shifted and Hermione caught sight of a blonde and a redhead. She left Ron fumbling to open a new beer and took off into the crowd.
"Ginny! Luna!" Hermione called out.
The two women turned around and greeted their friend.
"Hermione!" Ginny grinned widely, "It's crazy in here! Thought we were never going to find you or the boys!"
"Too crazy," Hermione groaned. She pulled at her damp, beer-smelling tee.
"Hermione, loosen up," Luna smiled dreamily, "We won't be young forever."
"What does 'loosening up' even look like, anyway?" Hermione frowned. Ginny giggled and elbowed Luna.
"A little like this," Ginny said, pulling a bottle of firewhiskey out of her handbag.
"And this," Luna grinned, producing some shot glasses.
"Guys," Hermione chided.
"Come on," Ginny whined, "Just this once let loose? I've been dying to have a truly wild night of drinking with you! Besides, how often do you ever have a party at your place?"
"Oh, fine then," Hermione folded, rolling her eyes as the girls cheered. She took a shot glass from Luna and allowed Ginny to fill it up.
Hermione groaned, her stomach churning.
She brought up the heels of her hands to her forehead, groaning.
Goddamn Ginny and Luna with their shots.
Goddamn Harry and Ron with their party.
She had a splitting headache and a heavy stomach. She'd never had a proper hangover before now and she already loathed it. She would not be able to study at all today.
Definitely no more parties at Grimmauld Place from here on in.
She sat up, suddenly aware that she was naked in her bed. Her muscles ached.
"Oh no…" Hermione's eyes widened as she realised the weird dream she'd had might not have been a dream after all.
Her eyes slid to the other side of the bed where a blonde woman was lying facedown. Her back was bare, a sheet covering her up to her waist.
"No, no, no, no," Hermione was panicking now. This was beyond ridiculous. She didn't do one night stands. She didn't do women.
The blonde grumbled quietly, waking and rolling onto her side. Hermione averted her eyes from the bare chest now on display. She pulled the sheets up to hide her own nakedness.
"Why are you being so loud?" Fleur Delacour complained haughtily.
"I thought… I didn't realise…" Hermione rambled awkwardly, "I'm sorry,"
"You're sorry?" Fleur drawled, sitting up and running a hand through her hair. She seemed to have zero self-consciousness over her nudity. But then Hermione supposed that if you looked like Fleur Delacour, maybe you would be that confident.
"I-I'm not into women," Hermione stammered, a blush rising in her cheeks, "Last night was crazy."
Fleur sneered and flipped her hair.
Hermione had never liked the blonde. Fleur had always been cold and arrogant. In fact, Ginny and Hermione had strengthened their friendship through their mutual dislike of Fleur. It had turned out that Fleur had married Bill during the war to anchor her residential status so she could fight in the Wizarding War. Bill had turned out to be gay, Fleur merely his best friend.
But now Hermione supposed Fleur might also be gay?
"I'm not interested in you," Fleur said derisively, "Last night was a drunk mistake, that's all. You're welcome, but you get no repeats."
Hermione rolled her eyes, Fleur's hideous ego crashing her back to reality.
"Whatever," Hermione shot back, "Just… Don't tell anyone about this, okay?"
"As if I would want to!" Fleur retorted haughtily.
She got out of bed, stretching flexibly before setting about finding her clothes scattered throughout the room.
Hermione pulled the sheets up even further, right up to her chin. Her face was burning with a blush at the memories washing back to her from the previous night. Fleur and her had stumbled into her room, both quite drunk and jovial, before totally laying into each other. Clothes had flown wildly across the room as they had passionately kissed and stumbled their way to the bed.
Hermione peeked over the sheets meekly as Fleur pulled her bra off a lampshade, a look of distaste on her face.
It was bad enough that Hermione had experimented in her drunkenness. That was mortifying. But with Fleur Delacour? Everything about Fleur's manner and reaction was embarrassing her further. The blonde seemed even more mortified than Hermione about their situation.
Pulling her clothes on quickly, Fleur sat on the edge of the bed to put her strappy heels back on. She was almost ready to go.
Hermione racked her brain on what the appropriate protocol was here. Her vast knowledge bank was no use when it came to the social etiquette of one night stands.
"Er… See you around, I guess," Hermione croaked, her face now almost half-obscured by the sheet.
Fleur didn't even bother to look back at her, flipping her hair over her shoulder.
"Au revoir," Fleur said with trademark disinterest, getting up and gliding from the room.
The second she left, Hermione leapt up from bed, too jumpy to stay in bed much longer. She noted with embarrassment several lovebites on her stomach and thighs. What on Earth had possessed her to fall into bed with Fleur Delacour of all people?!
She pulled on some plain briefs and a sports bra before throwing on some jeans and a longsleeved tee.
Fleur was incredibly attractive. Hermione couldn't deny that. Everything about her oozed a sensuality and sexuality that Hermione herself knew she would never possess.
Hermione shook her head. No point even thinking about it. What was done was done.
She ran a hand through her tangled curls, trying half-heartedly to tame her bed hair.
She heard the front door slam and knew the coast was clear to leave her room. She opened the door and padded downstairs, stopping when she heard sniggering.
The living room was at the base of the stairs she had taken. One couch was occupied by a tousle-haired redhead. The other was occupied by a dreamy blonde. Ginny and Luna.
"Oh, God," Hermione groaned.
"You and Phlegm, huh?" Ginny teased.
Luna giggled.
"What do you know?" Hermione said with slow horror.
"Well, I know that we caught you and her snogging in the hallway last night," Luna grinned, "And now I know that she stayed the night. Didn't think you swung that way, Hermione!"
"Shut up!" Hermione hissed, blushing.
"Hope you used protection," Ginny giggled, leaning back on the couch.
"Ha, ha," Hermione shot back sarcastically.
The stairs creaked as a very hungover looking Harry and Ron made their way down the stairs.
"What a night," Ron grinned, stretching his arms above him.
Harry disappeared into the kitchen as Ron sat down on the end of the couch Ginny was on, inadvertently squashing her feet.
"Ouch, watch it, Ron!" Ginny yelped.
"Serves you right," Hermione muttered under her breath.
Harry came back in with a tray of coffees, giving them out. Hermione gratefully accepted one, inhaling the deliciously bitter scent of black coffee. Harry sat down at the end of the couch Luna was on.
"So, anything interesting happen last night?" Harry asked.
Hermione's eyes widened and she tried to communicate wordlessly to Ginny. But it was too late.
"Hermione and Fleur slept together!" Ginny blurted with mirth.
Ron began to choke mid-sip and Harry almost dropped his coffee, yelping as hot coffee splashed over his lap.
"Hermione?!" Harry asked, overwhelmed as he whipped out his wand to remedy the hot coffee burning his lap, "I didn't even know you were into women!"
"None of us did," Luna chimed in.
Hermione was mortified.
"I mean have you seen Fleur though?" Ron commented, regaining composure, "I mean if anyone was going to turn Hermione, it was gonna be Fleur."
"Okay, okay, can we stop bloody speculating about this?" Hermione said waspishly. Ron and Harry chuckled a little at that. For years it had been their silly mistakes with women that had been speculated about by their group of friends. It was amusing finally seeing Hermione in the same situation.
"Right, right, Hermione," Ron relented, holding his hands up, "Hope you used protection though."
"Yeah, good one," Hermione rolled her eyes. Ron and Ginny clearly shared the same sense of humour.
"'Mione—" Ron started.
"Hey, I thought you just agreed to drop it," Hermione interjected. Ron nodded, knowing better than to play with Hermione's temper.
It had been further torture to Hermione's hangover when Ginny and Ron had reminded them all that it was Sunday Night Dinner.
After their graduation from Hogwarts, Molly Weasley had introduced the regular dinner meeting as a way to keep them all connected. The Weasleys, Harry and Hermione were always invited. Frequently, Molly or other Weasleys invited along other friends of the family. Tonight they had Hagrid and Luna joining them.
Molly had politely cast a spell to enlarge one of the dining room chairs for Hagrid, but even still it was straining under the weight of the half-giant.
He had kindly brought along a basket of his signature rock-cakes. Harry was politely gnawing on one, trying not to break any teeth.
"So how have you all been?" Molly asked, doling out the dinner onto the table with a flick of a wand.
Ron, predictably, rushed in and grabbed a handful of chicken drumsticks before anyone else could.
"Heard you had a wee party last night," Hagrid rumbled in his loud voice.
"I hope you behaved, Ronald," Molly interjected.
"It's not Ron you need to worry about behaving," Ginny giggled, before being elbowed in the ribs by Hermione.
"Which o' you lot haven't been behaving then, eh?" Hagrid chuckled good-naturedly, scooping an alarming amount of potatoes onto his plate.
"Not a word," Hermione hissed to Ginny.
Luna, however, was seated across the table and down from Hermione, between Arthur Weasley and Molly. Well out of earshot of Hermione's hissed demand.
"Oh, Hermione had a one-night stand with Fleur Delacour," Luna said dreamily.
Ron choked a little on his mouthful of chicken as Molly and Arthur exchanged surprised glances.
Hermione swore under her breath. Somehow the situation was even more mortifying. Arthur, Molly and Hagrid were semi-parental figures to Hermione. They were the absolute last people she wanted knowing about a strange one night stand she had indulged in.
"Crikey, Hermione," Hagrid said, breaking the awkward silence, "I hope ye used protection."
Hermione couldn't hold back her reaction this time.
"Gross, Hagrid," Hermione said, scrunching up her face, "I've already heard that terrible joke from both Ginny and Ron. I hardly expected it from you."
Hagrid looked abashed, halting his eating and raising two dustpan sized hands.
"No, no, I didn' mean it like tha' Hermione," Hagrid apologised, "I jus' meant, you know, with Veela you've just gotta be careful with contraception."
He was blushing a little now, and his earnestness startled Hermione.
"Well… Erm… I'm touched you're worried, Hagrid," Hermione said with excruciating awkwardness, "But, erm, I don't have those parts. You don't need to worry about contraception with two women."
The Weasleys and Luna lowered their utensils and stared at Hermione.
Hermione looked around, unsettled. She glanced at Harry, who looked just as confused.
"You… You really don't know?" Ron said finally.
"Know what?" Hermione was getting irritated now.
Molly stood up at the table, clattering her plate away from her.
"I don't think this is appropriate dinner conversation," Molly intervened, "Hermione, dear, would you come with me to the kitchen for a moment?"
Hermione, baffled, put down her own utensils. The redheads, Hagrid and Luna were all still staring at her in total shock. It was entirely unnerving her.
Hermione walked across the threadbare carpet, following Molly through a low doorway and into the rickety wooden kitchen. Pots and pans were all over the kitchen higgledy piggledy. A dusting of rogue flour adorned a cabinet door near the sink.
Molly halted, sighing heavily before turning around to face Hermione.
"Is everything okay?" Hermione asked, "I'm so sorry for such inappropriate discussion at your dinner table."
"It's always awkward having these conversations, isn't it?" Molly said politely, smiling encouragingly at Hermione, "I suppose your parents would have had this discussion with you… But they would hardly have known about magical creatures, would they?"
"Erm, sorry?" Hermione asked, "What conversation are we talking about?"
"The birds and the bees, honey," Molly said sweetly.
Hermione felt a heavy blush rise in her cheeks. Apparently the day could get more embarrassing.
"I… I don't…"
"Veela are highly fertile," Molly interrupted, raising her eyebrows meaningfully, "It's a feature of their magical blood."
"Yes, well…" Hermione stuttered.
"They can fall pregnant to male or female lovers," Molly said pointedly, "Everyone that sleeps with a Veela needs to use a contraceptive spell first."
"That… That's biologically impossible," Hermione said, her eyes widening.
"They're magical creatures, dear," Molly said kindly, "So Ginny, Ron and Hagrid weren't teasing you. Most young witches and wizards learn that from their parents when they have the usual 'birds and bees' talk. I guess they assumed you would have heard it at some point at Hogwarts. Or read it… Merlin knows you are an eager learner."
"I… I didn't know that," Hermione replied hollowly. She tried to call on her hazy memories of the previous night. She didn't remember Fleur telling her anything about a contraceptive spell.
"Well, I suggest you talk to Fleur, dear," Molly said softly, putting a comforting hand on Hermione's shoulder, "If you didn't do the spell you should make sure she did. Veela are highly fertile."
Hermione swallowed. She had suddenly lost her appetite.
When she returned to the table, the Weasley parents, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Harry and Hagrid all appeared to have politely decided not to raise the subject again. Hermione supposed they must have filled Harry in while she was out of the room, as he was now staring at her and looked as pale as she felt.
"I mean I know everyone has a weird gap in their knowledge, but goddamn!" Ron commented.
Ron, Harry and Hermione were walking down Diagon Alley towards Gringotts. Ron had checked in with Bill to see if Fleur was working onsite at the bank that day.
Hermione had been trying to track down the blonde for the better part of three weeks. But the curse-breakers had been on an off-shore assignment that had started almost immediately after the Grimmauld Place party.
Now, however, they were back in London. It was Hermione's chance to talk to Fleur and double check that the blonde had used a contraceptive spell on the fateful night of their one-night stand.
Harry was chuckling now and Hermione shot him a glare. She was a bundle of nerves.
"What?" Hermione snapped.
"Sorry," Harry chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, "It's just… If you were ever to ask me if we were to have to go and make a visit for one of these conversations… I would have guessed it would be Ron that had forgotten to use protection. Never in a million years would I have expected you."
"Well, to be fair, you didn't know the Veela thing either," Hermione replied waspishly.
They stepped quickly up the front steps of Gringotts.
The boys lingered near the doorway, aimlessly looking at pamphlets while Hermione approached the front desk to ask for Fleur.
The goblins seemed less than happy to entertain a social visit, but disappeared to summon her all the same.
Hermione drummed her fingers nervously on the marble desk, looking around the cavernous bank. It was a grand design, elegantly built out of white marble and gold.
Her attention was drawn back as the goblin from the enquiries desk returned with a svelte blonde behind him.
Fleur was looking stunning, dressed in a form fitting grey dress that brought out the bright blue of her eyes. Her white-blonde hair was loose and tumbling down her shoulders. Her full lips moved into a pout when she saw who had called her.
"What about a one-time thing do you not understand?" Fleur sighed, as soon as Hermione and her had moved to one side of the room.
"Merlin, it's—I'm not after th-that!" Hermione stammered, blushing.
"What is it then?" Fleur asked, arching an eyebrow coldly. She rested a hand on her hip.
"Did… Did we…" Hermione struggled to get the words out. This all felt impossibly embarrassing. "Did you use contraception?"
The aloof façade on Fleur's face immediately dropped and she looked shocked.
"I thought you did," Fleur said so quietly that Hermione could barely hear it.
"I-I didn't know that women had to with Veela," Hermione said sheepishly.
"HERMIONE!" Fleur shrieked.
Heads snapped around to stare at them all around the bank. Hermione could see Harry and Ron looking up over some pamphlets.
The blonde in front of her looked enraged. Hermione raised her hands in surrender.
"I didn't know, okay!" Hermione said apologetically, "I'm Muggleborn. Hogwarts never did any kind of sex education so I learned all that from my parents and Muggle healthcare materials."
"You're supposed to be the brightest witch of your age!" Fleur hissed, lowering her voice to avoid the onlookers from overhearing.
"I'm sorry, okay!" Hermione repeated.
Fleur narrowed her eyes at Hermione, her mood going sub-zero. She jabbed Hermione in the chest with a finger.
"I'm going to get a pregnancy test after work from the potions store," Fleur growled, "You are going to meet me after work and pay for it."
"Fine," Hermione sighed. She supposed it was the least she could do to remedy the cost of the gap in her knowledge.
"You'd better not have got me pregnant," Fleur hissed.
Hermione didn't have a chance to respond. The blonde turned on her heel and stormed back to the depths of Gringotts without another word.
Hermione ran a hand down her face. It was set to be a stressful wait.