a/n - my first ff9 fic, and its a double whammy - roleswap AND genderbending...

this arose from thinking about how things would play out differently thanks to roleswapping, plus an additional canon tweak that you'll find out if ya read
takes place sometime when they're chasing the queen or smthn. been a while since i touched the game, so i'm sorry if i get a few details wrong :(

...

Sarah can't sleep. She's tired, exhausted, but for whatever reason her body refuses to rest. After flopping over for the thousandth time in her sleeping bag, she groans, sits up and then gets to her feet. She puts her boots on and takes a look at Beatrix and Vivi, still as stones. Vivi's loud snoring probably didn't help her effort. Or maybe it was the fact the very core of her horn was aching—no, throbbing. It had been aching since she met the princess, but whenever night falls it's unbearable, like a permanent migraine. She rubs her temples—as if that will do anything to fix it—and steps outside.

The campfire is still burning, to her surprise. Nearby is the condensed, hunched figure of the princess herself. She's resting her head on her knees, and Sarah is careful to approach, uncertain of whether or not the night watch isn't doing her job.

She only gets a few steps in before Cutlass whips her head around, eyes wide. She pulls the ridiculous ruffles of her blue dress down to hide something (that Sarah can't even see thanks to the tall grass surrounding them) and says quietly, "Can't sleep either?"

"What do you think?" Sarah seats herself next to the other girl after ensuring there's no bugs waiting for her. "…So what were you freaking out about?"

She squeaks strangely before scooting away a little, her face flushing. "Didn't you see it already?"

Sarah blinks. "No?"

"Well…" She looks away in thought for a moment, then looks back at her. "Don't tell anyone about this, alright?"

Something jerks against her dress, then pushes itself out and lays in her lap. It's a monkey tail, the same color as her blonde hair. Sarah stares at it, growing curious and confused at the same time.

"So? I've seen weirder. Like Blank, I still have no idea what's up with those sti—"

"You don't know?" Cutlass gives her an incredulous expression, then begins to fiddle with her tail, mournfully watching it as it twitches in her grasp.

"Obviously not. It's just a tail. I mean I've never seen a mostly-normal person with a tail before, but—uh…" Sarah freezes at the sound of her gasp. "What?"

"Surely you must know."

"Know what? C'mon, just tell me already, I'm not in the mood for this."

"I'm a…" She looks away again, pouting. Her sapphire eyes are glistening when she faces Sarah. "I'm a Genome."

"A what?"

"Kuja is one, too." Her body is trembling, her lips quivering.

"Wait—hold on—" Sarah's heart falls out of her when the realization hits. "You're—you're his sister?"

Cutlass bursts into tears, and that is all she needs for an answer. Immediately Sarah's head floods with questions, and she herself is thrown from bewilderment to frustration, and to panic as she's never attempted to comfort someone before. The princess suddenly latches onto her and she awkwardly embraces her back, tensing up when she digs her nails into her shoulders.

"I'm so sorry! I should've told you sooner…I…I should've told all of you sooner…" she says in between sobs. "I'm so sorry…"

Sarah tries her gentlest tone of voice. "Why didn't you?"

"Because…" Cutlass sniffles. "I didn't want you to…hate me…"

"Huh?"

"It's my fault everything's a mess now. I wasn't strong enough to stop him, and now…" She stifles another attack of tears, but it's not long before she gives in. "I wasn't good enough—now everyone's going to suffer for it! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm—"

"It's not your fault." Sarah doesn't know where she's going with her words, but she still feels compelled to comfort the princess. They look each other in the eye once Cutlass raises her head. "Call me cheesy or whatever, but you were alone back then. You were younger back then. I understand—things are different now. I know we're not exactly the greatest, most powerful lot out there, but we've got each other, and uh…yeah…um…" The warmth blooming on her cheeks only gets hotter when she hears muffled giggles. "I'm not known for my speeches, alright?"

Cutlass snorts, and Sarah can't help but feel relieved. She still doesn't fully understand what's up with her and still doesn't understand the gravity of being a "Genome", but at least she's no longer bawling into her sleeves and her prized coat (she had spent all of her stolen gil on it).

They're quiet, for a while. Sarah doesn't mind being a glorified headrest for now, especially not when sleepiness is finally descending upon her. Cutlass' eyes are already closed.

"Hey, Sarah…" She's not bothering to open her eyes again. "In the morning…I'm going to tell the others. Could you…be there, for me? I just want you to be by my side…I feel better when you're around."

"Of course."

She can hear the smile in the princess' voice. "Thank you."

They went to sleep together.

...

a/n - will probably write more for this au later on, though i'm not sure if i should change zidane's name (too masculine orrr...? if i should change it i don't want it to be too different from the original...)

idk :P