To be a Big Brother

Leo was not a bostful, or proud turtle. He appreciated achievements, and felt pride in his accomplishments. But he never put weight on things such as age. And he never rubbed such things in his 'little' brothers faces, as some sort of achievement or right. After all you can't choose when you were born, you can't choose to be the oldest or the youngest. It just simply happens. That isn't something you have choice or control over. What you do have control over however, is the choices you make. You have the power over who you choose to be. Your choices and actions are what makes you who you are. It is all based on choice, not some hierarchy based on birth order. This lesson was something Leo had learned firsthand, and had taken to heart. This lesson, in a way, had paved the path of his life.

When Leo and his brothers were toddlers, Raph was always getting into trouble. He would throw fits for attention, or get frustrated or afraid and lash out, or simply wind up in trouble because he didn't think. When this would happen Leo was always there to get Leo out of whatever mess it was in. One night Leo had crawled out of bed, looking for Raph when he found his best friend wasn't there. He had found that his brother had managed to get his foot stuck in the slots of a vent in the lair. Finding his brother in tears, Leo immediately ran to get help. But his father had left to get food while his sons slept. Leo had held his brother and calmed his tears, a sense of responsibility settling in along with a sense of calm as he tried to think of a way to rescue his brother's foot. He had managed to free Raph's foot by soaking it in enough soap for it to slip free. From that day forward Leo found himself stepping into the role of guardian more and more. It was him his brothers went to when the monsters under their beds frightened them, it was him his brothers went to with their skinned knees or hurt feelings. He came up with songs and nursery rhymes to help his brothers sleep, he was always there to kiss their booboos or sort out a fight. Leo never thought twice about it. They were his brothers and he would care for them and protect him with every fiber of his being.

When they were younger he never questioned. What it meant to be the eldest or the youngest. To him they were all brothers and that was that. But he soon learned through close observation, that only the eldest was called by Splinter for special training, and that it was only ever the eldest was left in charge when Splinter left, and that the eldest was 'responsible for his younger brothers'. But he also soon learned that being the eldest was not fun. Raph hated his special lessons with Splinter. The first time he was told he was going to start having one on one training sessions with their father, he was so happy and excited. Leo was thrilled for his best friend, and couldn't wait to hear all about it. Leo waited up for Raph to tell him all about it, he had expected Raph to come in full of energy and excited to show him a new fighting stance, or meditation pose. Instead Raph came back to their shared room in tears. The seven year turtle was exhausted, overwhelmed and unhappy. It had hurt Leo to see Raph that way and immediately comforted him. Like the training session that ended up being strenuous, stressful and overall unfun. The other new duties Raph was supposed to take on also didn't hold the same glamour he had expected. When Splinter left Raph in charge, he would just let Mikey and Donnie run free. When Leo tried to give his best friend advice, it had erupted in a fight between the two of them. Raph had gotten in trouble when Splinter returned to find the lair a mess, with Mikey bouncing off the walls and Donnie tinkering with tools Splinter had warned him to stay away from. Leo had cried when Splinter yelled at Raph, feeling responsible for what had happened.

Raph received three more such lectures, before Splinter stopped leaving the red clad turtle-tot in charge. After a fight over a prank left Mikey with a bloody nose while Splinter was out, the nina master went back to scouting for supplies while his sons slept.

Not long after the one-one lessons started tapering off until they disappeared altogether much to Raph's complete relief. Things had started to go back to normal and Leo couldn't have been happier. They stayed that way for another half of a year. After Leo's sixth birthday his father started one-on-one training serions with him, just like he had with Raph. Although Leo was nervous after how much Raph had hated them, saying that it lasted forever and just practiced the same movements they learned over and over, and wasn't fun like their group practice. Nevertheless Leo vowed that he would try his hardest not to let down his father. And he did try his hardest, no matter how many times he fell down he got back up, he pushed past fatigue, stiffness and soreness and practiced until the skill was perfected. As the years went on the training grew longer and more intense. He was placed in charge when their father left. And he learned the bitter taste of responsibility. He and raph slowly drifted apart. Raph didn't understand that Leo wasn't trying to be bossy, just to be in charge or get his way. He didn't understand that when he warned his brothers against running by sewer channels, or brought alone their scarves, or made them brush their teeth instead of just running the toothbrushes under the faucet, that he was doing all this because he loved them. He only saw Leo as a 'goodie three toes', or a 'teacher's pet', or 'Splinters junior'. So Leo was forced to grow up fast to fill the role thrust upon him, and ended up losing his best friend in the process.

As their teenage years rolled around it only grew harder. When they went above ground Leo asked to be leader, not necessarily because he wanted it but because he knew he could handle the burden of responsibility and would do whatever it took to keep his brothers safe. He also knew that being a leader came with sacrifices, he didn't want his brothers to have to sacrifice themselves. Leo didn't have many hobbies not out of choice, but because he never really found the time, and he knew that whoever became leader would face the same issues. And Leo couldn't imagine Donnie without his inventions, or Mikey without his video games and comics, and Raph without his time playing with spike, looking into bikes or exploring the sewers. For Leo, he hadn't as much to give up. HIs life revolved around his brothers. Protecting them, caring for them, settling their fights, drying their tears, he in many ways had been building up to this role his whole life.

In Leo's own eyes he was Raph, Donnie and Mikey's big brother. Because to him that meant carrying for and protecting them. It was what he had always strived to do from as far back as he could remember. He knew that the job of a 'big brother' was to do just that. He never actually claimed to be the eldest, but everyone believed it because Sensei acted like he was. After a while he rarely thought about it. In a way he had become the older brother. He no longer shied away from the title but instead beamed with pride when he heard it. Because one can not control when they are born or what order they are born in. But one can control their choices and actions and who they choose to be. And Hamoto Leonardo was the leader of the Hamator clan, he loved his brothers with all his being. He bandaged Raph's hands after a fight and tailed him when he went out alone, he comforted mikey after nightmares and dragged Donnie out of his lab when he obsessed over a project. He swore to protect his brothers till his dying day. He was Hamato Leonardo and he was the big brother.

The End

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