I crumpled the paper against my skin and watched the sun peak over the buildings next door to our apartment building. Gideon was sleeping out on the couch while I sat in Spencer and I's room, waiting on the lovely nurse to come in and decide whether or not I would be birthing a child later today. Spencer was still as work and from what I can tell he wont be coming home any time soon. According to the news they found yet another body, this one was found even closer to the apartment.

I thought about calling the number, hell I even dialed the number in the phone about five times. I really can't believe that Sam had gotten out and was going to school like I am, well like I was. I almost couldn't believe how close he was to me all this time, he left almost a year after I did and ended up less then ten hours away from where I was camped out.

"Addison." Gideon popped his head into the room as if to make sure I wasn't sleeping. "Your nurse is here." I nodded and got up to meet her in the living room, already knowing what was about to happen. She was reading the notes that the other women left for her.

"How ya feeling?"

"Same as I have been. I'm just a little tired all the time." She nodded with a large smile on her face. I could already tell that she was going to be one of the perky ones. Not that there was anything wrong with that but I have a hard time not offending nice people with my lack of happy social skills. I sat down on the couch as she got all her supplies out. Gideon was sitting in Spencer's reading chair.

"Has the swelling gone down any?" I propped my feet on the coffee table as an answer. She did the same thing that the nurse the night before did and had the same troubled look. She got out the blood pressure cuff and began wrapping it around my upper arm. That look still didn't remove itself from her face, giving me a very good idea what was about to come out of her mouth.

"Not looking good?"

"I think it's best we get you somewhere they can keep a better eye on you."

0000

I couldn't help but get more worked up the longer I was in the room. Gideon was coming in and out of the room on his phone. They wanted him to come in of some kind of bomber case. No one would let me watch the news so I wasn't sure. He had already promised Spencer that he wouldn't leave me alone here so he was trying to get them off his case until he could leave. His promise to Spencer was the only thing keeping Spencer from rushing right over here to sit and stress out with me. Of course he didn't foresee himself getting called in.

From what I understand my doctor was trying to get them to operate as soon as he could find a space in someone's schedule. He found someone but they said they wouldn't do it until my BP reached a certain point. Spencer continued to call every time he had a moment to see if any changes had been made, but so far everything has stayed the same. I was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that at this time tomorrow, Spencer and I would be parents.

When I ran away from home, I didn't see myself surviving long enough to have kids. I figured that I would more then likely end up overdosing in some dark ally. Or just straight up shooting myself. When I met Spencer, I never thought that it would be anything more then just a place to chill for a few weeks, I didn't think we would ever be in a relationship or having a kid in less then five years of meeting.

I didn't think I'd ever end up loving a fed. Dad biggest house rule was to never grab the attention of a cop that you weren't trying to get information out of. I feel like living and having a baby with an FBI agent does more then just break that rule. Then again I also ran away so his rules don't seem to apply to me.

I was worried about the baby as well, the doctors weren't sure if I was 32 weeks alone or 34. Apparently the difference between the two was enough to be stressing out Spencer and if he was worried about it then I feel that I should be to, at least a little bit. And on top of that all, I was still battling the decision on whether or not to call my brother. Every time Gideon saw me typing in the number he would give me a knowing look but wouldn't say anything about it. I even asked him if he thought I should wait, but he gave me that stupid 'do what you think is best' shit. Making me want to hit him.

So that's what I'm doing now, looking down at the number I typed into my phone, deciding if I should hit call or not. I was trying to think about how he would react. Would he call Dad? Dean? Would he rush over here to yell at me, would he just hang up the phone and hate me for what I did? Would he even care? I had no idea what they think happened, I couldn't even begin to think how much trouble Sam might have been in with Dad for leaving me alone. Not that he could have saw my leaving coming. Then again I feel like they should have seen the attempt in suicide coming.

I took a deep breath and hit call, go big or go home and since I'm not allowed to go home at this second in time, might as well go big. I pressed it to my ear and listened to it ring. Once, twice, three times and I thought it was going to g to voicemail.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end sounded confused, more then likely making the choice against letting the unfamiliar number continue to ring. I almost hung up the phone.

"Is this….is this Sam Winchester?" I questioned, listening to the sounds coming from both heart monitors, one for me and one for the baby. I thought about claiming to be one of those survey people and just have him hang up on me.

"Yeah, who is this?" Again I thought about my answer.

"Okay, you're not allowed to be mad at me." I said quickly. "I can explain everything." I added.

"Okay….I didn't get a name." He said and I heard my heart begin to beat faster.

"It's Addison…." There was silence that lasted almost a full minute and I was beginning to wonder if he hung up. I was really scared that he was going to start yelling, which I found a little weird. Why do people get scared of being yelled at? All it is, is really loud talking. More then likely having to do with the amount of anger needed to get to that point or something like that. I'd ask Spencer later.

"I swear to God if this is some kind of joke….Who is this? Did….did Dean put you up to this?" I was a little surprised to hear the pain in his voice. I couldn't sop myself from flinching rather harshly from the tone. The comment about Dean got me to, did he really think Dean would do something that obviously caused him so much pain.

"This isn't a joke. It's really me." I said it slowly, as if the speed I was speaking would prove my identity. There was silence again. "I'm sorry." It was lame and I knew it but I wasn't sure what else to say to fill the haunting weight of the air in the room. It wasn't until I looked down that I noticed my nails were digging into my elbow enough to draw blood. "Shit." It wasn't bad, but it did get on the blankets.

"What happened." Sam's voice was a little panicked.

"It's nothing, just a scratch." I looked around the room and you would think that being in the hospital would make it easier to find something to clean it up with. I didn't need them coming in here and giving me something to 'calm down'. I was already worried about the pain medication they were going to try and give me to help though the procedure. I didn't want to relapse and become addicted to something that a doctor gave me. I don't care how much pain I'm in. Spencer said that I could deny meds right after I wake up and he said that if I wanted to be on them that he would make sure that I don't get out of hand. "I'm just a little jumpy." I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"What did Dad Give you for you're ninth birthday?" He asked in a demanding tone and I pressed my hands into the crook of my arm. I rolled my eyes at the obvious trick question.

"Dad wasn't there for my ninth birthday, you and Dean got me a hot pink switchblade." I answered. I still had the knife buried deep in the bottom of my underwear drawer. Spencer had attempted to remove all my sharp objects after I went a little crazy during one of my relapses, I managed to keep that one hidden, I still haven't gotten the other ones back. Sam was silent, if it wasn't for the fact that I could hear him breathing then I would have thought he hung up.

"Where are you? What's all the beeping in the background?" He asked tightly. I could hear the emotion in his voice, there was defiantly some pain there but it was overwhelmed by relief.

"I'm in Virginia, I'm in a hospital right outside of Washington." I said the last part a little lowly as if not wanting him to hear.

"Hospital?" He questioned, I could hear him moving things around in the background. I heard a girl's voice as well but I couldn't make out what she was saying. I leaned back into the pillows and pressed my eyes shut as the reality of what I was doing. I was going against almost everything that I meant to do when I ran away. I was talking to my brother.

"It's a long story." I sighed.

"Well you can tell me when I get there." He said, I heard the sound of a suitcase being zipped shut. I could hear my heart monitor speed up before I felt it.

"What? No, that's okay. You don't have to come here." I shook my head like he could see me, "lets just catch up over the phone, a nice safe distance." There was a pause before he said anything.

"Addison, I'm coming. I've thought you were dead for the last five years."

"My doctor said that I should be avoiding stressful situations."

"Why would me coming be stressful? Do you think I'm going to yell at you? Addison, I basically ran away to, I haven't spoken to Dad in almost four years, three years since Dean. I'm not…..I'm not- I'm sure you have a good reason, 13-year-old's don't just run off for the fun of it." He took a deep breath, "why are you in the hospital?"

"I um…." I didn't really want t say it, it still wasn't completely real to me and I didn't want Sam to freak out over the phone. I didn't want him to freak out at all. He was the least likely in my family to get angry at this, at least that was the case when I left. Five years is a long time not to see someone. "Can I tell you when you get here? I don't, don't think it's to life threatening-"

"To life threatening?"

"Spencer said I have good odds! Its not low risk but he thinks I'll be okay. As long as everything goes like the doctors want it and my body reacts like its supposed to then I'll be fine, stuck in this god damned hell hole for a few weeks maybe but I'll be fine." I looked down at my stomach and thought about just how fucked up this phone call would be if I died. He would have to grieve all over again. Sam was quiet for a few moments.

"Whose Spencer? He your doctor?" I laughed, it was the first time I've laughed since watching Spencer trying to put the crib together. Things have been far to serious in my opinion, I don't think you should worry about things that are outside of your reach, the things you can't control. If you focus all your time and energy on those then you don't have any time to appreciate the things in front of you. And if that big bad thing at the end of your one way tunnel ends up killing you, then what was the point of living at all if you wasted all the time you did get?

"He's a doctor but not a medical one, he know a lot about things though." I didn't want to come out and just tell him over the phone, I feel like just hearing from me is enough of a shock. I didn't want to keep piling things on top of him. I could tell that answer confused him and I rolled my eyes. "We'll talk when you get here." I assured, the humor seeping out of my voice and my stomach began to crawl at the thought of seeing him for the first time since I ran away. He hung up the phone so he could buy a plane ticket and asked me to text him the information of where I was. My fingers shook as I typed in what he needed, all I could think about was what he would say when he got here, how he would react to hearing about Spencer and I as well as the baby that could easily been here when Sam arrived.

Spencer came for his lunch brake at about one in the afternoon. He didn't bring any food thanks to the fact they had me on an all liquids diet. Gideon stepped out again while Spencer was here and I quickly told him about calling Sam. He listened intently, my hand in his, as I recounted everything that was said.

"I'm glad." Spencer said after I finished, "this was very big step and I'm proud that you went thought with it. Based on what he said I really think that you don't have anything to worry about." He smiled at me. "Do you know when he'll be arriving?"

I don't know if he could have gotten a plane for tonight with such a late notice, maybe on in the morning if he was lucky." I took a deep breath after becoming aware of just how fast my heart was beating. "I want him to like you." I said, bringing his hand up to the side of my face. I knew that my dad would more then likely wouldn't like Spencer, mostly because he's always had a strong belief about how men and woman should act in a relationship, I feel like it's mostly stemmed from his childhood in Kansas but it is what it is. Spencer didn't say anything to that, I knew that he was more then likely nerves to meet Sam.

All he knew about him were stories from when I was a kid, not the most reliable things to base an opinion on. We spent the rest of his time talking about his case, not about anything that hadn't been released to the press but enough for me to feel his frustration. When it was time for him to go back I kind wanted to tell him to call out, to wait with me but at the same time I thought about the people that were dying and they needed him more. Gideon was cool to talk to anyway.

Five hours later they decided it was time, my BP was low enough and all they had to do was put me on the schedule. I would be a mom in less then two hours if everything went well.

00000

Sam slumped into one of the plastic chairs as he waited for his plane. He packed enough clothes to fit in his carry on and that was about it. Jess had been pretty alarmed when he began rushing around the apartment, looking and packing his things. After getting off the phone he briefly explained the situation to her. He hadn't told her much about Addison, just enough to tell her that he hasn't seen her since she disappeared at 13. Jess was both surprised to hear that she called him and happy that he was reconnecting with someone in his family. She was a little anxious to hear what could make a little girl run away like that as well.

Sam didn't know what to think. Addison's not 13 anymore, at this point she would be about 18. The more he thought about it, the more he realized just how different she was over the phone then she had been back when they were all together. She sounded more lively, even though she sounded scared and worried she still had more emotion in her voice then she ever did before. He wanted to know why she was in the hospital, he couldn't think of a reason unless she got hurt. Did she get attacked by monsters? Did she need help with a case or something? He was hoping not but if she needed him to then he would.

He somehow managed to get a last minuet flight for midnight. He paid a lot more then he wanted to but at the same time money wasn't what he was worried about. It wasn't even a good seat, he got stuck between two old men, one that smelled almost as bad as death itself and the other one had a serious case of snoring that Sam thought should get checked out by a doctor. While on the plane he thought about calling Dean and letting him know that Addison was alive, maybe not okay but alive. Dean had taken it the worst when she disappeared, both from Dad and himself.

Sam was the one to find the drugs in the bathroom. He wasn't sure what they were, even to this day, but he had an idea what she was going to be using them for. She left most of her stuff, including evidence of more drug use: needles, small crumbs of white powder in a bag that had been shoved to the bottom, empty pill bottles and a few other things. Sam had always had a suspicion that she was doing something. He knew she was drinking because Dad let her, he let all of them if they wanted. Right before she left he had decided to go to college, he was going to talk with her about coming with him when he went but he never got the chance to.

When Dean realized she was gone he shattered the bathroom mirror completely, not even bothering to clean the glass out of his hand until an hour or two later. Dad started yelling at Sam for leaving her alone in the first place, Sam fought back, yelling that she wouldn't have felt the need to abuse all the drugs if she had a more stable household.

They looked for her for about six months without any delay. Not that it worked, there wasn't any trace for them to follow. She didn't use credit cards, it was before cell phones were all over the place so they couldn't track her though that. She didn't go to anyone they knew and even with every hunter Dad could get a-hold of out looking for her she remained gone. Dad finally decided that she was more then likely dead and went back to the place they were when she went missing. He combed the woods around he motel, thinking that if she took the drugs and did overdose that she might have wandered there so they wouldn't find her body. He searched ever inch, looked under every rock and came out empty handed. The year after that Sam left for college. Things had gotten even worse between all the men, Dean was following Dad even more faithfully, drowning himself in saving people, trying to get rid of the guilt he had for not helping Addison when he could, he always thought she would work her way out of her depression, go back to the bubbly little girl she been before.

Sam had been pretty sure she was Dead, or would be if she continued to use the drugs he saw, if she left all of that, how much had she taken with her? Part of him wondered if that was why she was in the hospital? Did she overdose and this is the first time she's been level headed enough to call him? He knew that he should have called Dean right after hanging up, no matter what they had going on between them at the moment, but he wanted to see her first and then decided. He knew that if he told Dean then Dad would now and that would cause a huge fight between all of them, he needed facts and to let her explain herself before anything else.

Yay! Next chapter is up, hopefully I'll be uploading to my other stories this weekend as well. Tell me what you think?