Loboselinaistrash prompted: "Well, you're a prick".
I also got inspired to write this based on an adorable comic that mayorsthief on Twitter made.
Robin stares into his closet, blinking a couple of times. It should be there, Regina's organized his half of their walk in enough for him to know. Yet, he comes up short. He's fresh from the shower, still in a towel. His hair is still wet and there's a bit of soap he missed on his chest. It's his days to pick the boys up from school and he's running a little late.
"Regina!" He calls out to her. She's in their room, organizing some of the baby's clothes. "Where's my sweatshirt?"
"Which sweatshirt?" Regina calls back.
"The green one, it's soft and has some strange logo on it."
There's a silence. Robin tilts his head. It's not a difficult question. Either she's seen it or she hasn't.
"I can't say I have," she finally says.
Robin has been a thief for most of his life, he knows when someone is lying. He can tell Regina is right now as well. He knows she wouldn't for a good reason either. A quick glance at his phone on the shelf he placed it on shows him he's not got much time left anyway. They can discuss this later.
Instead, he throws on a white t-shirt, followed by a black sweatshirt. Once he's got on some jeans, he shoves his feet into a pair of boots and his phone goes into his pocket. As he's exiting the closet, he finally catches a glimpse of the wanted sweatshirt…on his girlfriend's side.
He next notices something is missing a few weeks later when he's getting ready to go for a run. Robin has always kept in good shape over the years, being a Merry Man ensured that. Now, he's in Storybrooke. He's downing more calories and spending more time on the couch. It's given him a bit of what Henry calls a "dad bod". Regina doesn't mind, but he wants to trim himself up. David has been worried about putting weight on since he became a stay at home dad as well, so the two have become work out buddies. They go to the gym, on runs, sometimes bringing the babies with them. Turns out that strollers are great cardio.
As he opens his wardrobe drawer, however, he finds a pair of gym shorts missing. He frowns and grabs another one, pulling them up over his boxers. Turns out a lot of his clothes have been going missing lately and he can't seem to figure out why.
"You're late," David says when Robin shows up to the park. He's leaning against a big oak, wearing sunglasses to block his eyes from the sun.
"Sorry, couldn't find the shorts I wanted."
"Laundry mishap?"
"No, I've learned how to use the machines." The two men start on their warm ups. "I asked Regina about a missing sweatshirt and she had no clue what I was talking about, but then I saw it on her side."
David lets out a laugh as he stretches his leg. "You're living with a woman."
"What does that mean?"
"They're clothes thieves. Snow does the same thing. She wears my shirts, jackets, my socks even."
"But why?" Robin raises an eyebrow. "They have their own clothes."
David shrugs. "It makes them feel closer to us, maybe? I've never questioned it. I personally think it's cute when she wears my flannel." He gets an awestruck look on his face and Robin smacks his chest.
"We hear to work out or for you to get horny?"
David chuckles. "Fair point."
A week later, all the kids are out of the house. Henry has a date. Roland is on a sleepover with a new friend he met. Knowing the boys would be out, John offered to take the baby so Regina and Robin could have the house to themselves. They debate going out to eat, but ultimately decide to take advantage of a quiet house. Robin orders Chinese and pops open a bottle of wine. Once he's in his pajamas, he settles into the couch and sets up their latest binge-worthy show.
Regina walks in and David's theory proves to be true. She's wearing the cozy green sweatshirt which swims on her, along with his black gym shorts. They're not much better than the sweatshirt and she's had to tie them up not to fall down her legs. Robin smirks.
"I've found my clothes thief," he remarks.
Regina raises an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"You said you hadn't seen my sweatshirt."
Regina looks down at it and shrugs. "It looks better on me."
Robin lets out a loud laugh. "Well, you're a prick."
Regina smiles and walks over, sitting next to him. "I didn't want to admit I was one of those girls, ya know? The one who wore their boyfriend's clothes to smell them."
"I thought I smelt like trees."
"Forest," she corrects. "And turns out, I miss it when you're not around."
Robin grins and pulls her closer. She nuzzles her head into his neck and he presses a kiss to her temple.
Maybe he could sacrifice a few pieces if it meant making her smile.
Besides, she did look pretty sexy in them.
