Author's Note
Please R&R and let me know what you all think of this story so far.
Chapter 3 The First Days of School
At breakfast the next morning Lily, Alice, Dorcas and Emmeline were groaning over their schedule.
"It's always with them isn't it?" Dorcas sighed. "I mean you would think they would know by now that Gryffindors and Slytherins don't get along and would put us in separate classes, but no. Not only do they stick us in the same class but it's potions of all things where we can not only curse each other with our wands but throw dangerous and deadly chemicals at one another. Just genius."
"You know they aren't all bad." Lily said her attention mostly on devouring the tower of waffles in front of her.
"Yeah this coming from the girl who's so called best friend decided to call her the worst name imaginable." Marlene grumbled.
Lily sighed turning to face her friends.
"It wasn't the worst name imaginable. I mean he could have called me a whore, or a slag or a…"
"Who called you a whore Evans?" Sirius Black asked jovially sitting down next to her and helping himself to the bacon on her plate.
Lily frowned at him. She wasn't really used to having any of them around and it was rather out of character for any of the Marauders to come sit by her, even Remus usually stuck to his friends unless he and Lily were going to study together or something.
"No one. We were just talking about how there are worse things for me to be called than a mu.."
"Don't say it." James growled suddenly from across the table startling Lily and the rest of her friends.
Sirius looked up at him sympathetically.
"Prongs mate…"
James sighed taking a seat across from Sirius and next to Marlene.
"I just..don't like that word." He said refusing to meet their eyes. "I mean there's nothing wrong with anyone's blood. It's stupid prejudice and a lot of the time jealously that motivates thinking like that."
Remus grinned joining the group by taking the seat next to Dorcas.
"We know that Prongs. You don't have to explain it to us." He said, reaching for the orange juice.
Sirius turned back to Lily.
"So who called you a.." he looked at James cautiously, "a you-know-what then?"
Lily turned back to her waffles.
"Who says someone called me that?"
"Well you did. Sort of." He replied as Marlene snorted. "I mean you said there are worse things that you could be called, which implies that someone called you that."
Lily looked at him in wonder.
"You know Black you are much more astute than I've previously given you credit for." She marveled.
"Thanks, I think." Sirius smiled thoroughly distracted.
Once they finished their breakfast, oddly sitting next to the Marauders, the eight Gryffindors walked to class together.
It was the start of a strange new tradition.
From that day on the eight students sat together in the mornings and walked to their first class together. Lily and James never directly spoke to one another but they didn't fight either. It was a new sight for everyone. And James was keeping up his good behavior. Lily was amazed to see him mostly behaving in class and while they still did dozens of pranks in the first weeks of school she hadn't heard of anyone getting hurt either physically or emotionally. He was still rather arrogant in her opinion but she supposed he was moving in the right direction.
Suddenly almost a month had gone by and Lily and James were still getting along. James had definitely changed. Lily was impressed and as a result was more friendly and less judgmental toward James and his friends in general. Things were gradually getting better between them. Yet, James remained slightly frustrated; he wanted to become friends with Lily not just cordial acquaintances.
One day just before Halloween in transfiguration a ball of paper landed in front of Lily.
My Lily,
I was wondering if you might want to study this spell with me later. I was thinking the library 8 o'clock?
She thought about it, smiled and wrote back.
Sure. Walk me there after dinner?
She through it back and winced when it hit Sirius on the side of the head instead of landing in front of James as she had intended.
She blushed and mouthed a sorry at him as James chuckled and picked up the paper. A minute later it landed in front of her again.
Of course. See you then.
P.S. We've got to work on your aim!
She grinned and shrugged at him innocently before turning her attention back to McGonagall's lecture.
James grinned in shy excitement. She was actually giving him a chance. They were going to spend time together. Just the two of them and he hadn't forced her into it at all. She was coming with him willingly.
Sirius clapped him on the back and smiled in a gloating way.
"Maybe you haven't been a complete idiot the past five years after all." He whispered.
James shrugged.
"It's only studying Padfoot."
"Oh please you expect me to buy that bullshit? We are talking about Lily Evans here. The Lily Evans. The girl you took off my list of available females at Hogwarts the first day we started school. The girl who hasn't given you a second thought other than, 'What a prat that James Potter is!' for the past five years up until this summer. And now she is actually giving you a chance to be in her presence without causing some sort of major explosion slash disturbance and you try and tell me…your bestest friend in the whole wide world…that it's only studying. Puh-leez. Don't insult me Prongs." Sirius huffed.
James sighed.
"Would you just shut up? If you just stay quiet and calm down maybe I'll let you know how it goes tonight. Maybe."
Sirius grinned widely and turned his attention to the front of the class.
That lasted all of thirty seconds.
"So what are you going to say to her?" He whispered a moment later.
"Ugh, I don't know okay? I haven't really thought that part out yet."
"Don't be a prat Prongs. You have got to have game plan buddy."
James groaned quietly.
"Tell me what you had in mind.."
Sirius grinned and began whispering like mad.
****
"Hey Lily," James greeted his books tucked under his arm.
Lily turned her smile still on her face, causing James' heart rate to instantly speed up.
"Oh hi, you're all ready I see." She commented, standing up and grabbing her bag from the floor.
James nodded and watched as she checked her things to make sure she had the right books notes.
"Alright guys I'll see you later." She called to her friends moving to stand next to James.
Alice sputtered slightly.
"Really?...huh..I mean really? You're gonna go study? With Po..I mean James?"
Lily smiled and nodded, waving goodbye.
"Damn it." Alice cursed as they left the Great Hall together.
"That's right pay up." Dorcas grinned holding out her hand.
"Alright." Alice grumbled. "Here's your ruddy galleon."
Dorcas smiled in pleasure and kissed her newly acquired gold before placing it in her pocket.
"Who would have known she would warm up to him that quickly?" Alice frowned.
"I believe that would be me, as I just won the bet." Dorcas gloated.
Alice sighed.
"Yeah yeah. Stupid James Potter and his ruddy handsome looks. If he were uglier that would have taken at least another two months. But no... he has to be completely gorgeous. Damn favorable genetics."
****
"So." James said awkwardly as he sat across from Lily.
"So." She repeated with a smile.
He sighed. They hadn't spoken at all since leaving the Great Hall and now that they were actually together and alone James had no idea how to proceed. He cleared his throat as he took out his transfiguration book from his stack of supplies.
"Look I'll be honest with you." He said finally, placing everything out on the table. "I'm actually really great at transfiguration and I really don't need to study this stuff."
Lily opened her mouth to reply when he broke in again.
"That sounded arrogant didn't it? I didn't mean it that way. What I meant was I already know how to do everything Minnie talked about today and..no that's wrong too. I just.."
Lily reached over and placed her hand across his mouth.
"James." She said laughing softly. "Breathe. Please."
She let her arm go and he nodded with a soft smile, his mouth twitching as if it tingled.
"It's fine that you already know all this. But since you don't seem to have a problem with what we learned today, would you mind telling me why you asked me to come here with you?"
"Actually it was just to get to hang out with you. I mean I know our two groups of friends are getting along better now, but I …well I felt like we were getting so close to being friends over the summer and then when school started," He paused with a sigh. "Well then I just wanted things to be good between us and to not upset you. So I sort of kept my distance. I asked you here because I wanted to talk to you. Spend some time with you. I hope that's okay." He finished biting the inside of his cheek anxiously.
Lily smiled and silently started putting her things away until the space in front of her was clear. Then she leaned forward and placed her elbows down on the desk and rested her chin on her palms, cupping her face.
"So James Potter, what do you want to talk about?"
James grinned and as he moved his things out of the way asked happily.
"Have you read anything good lately?"
"Oh my gosh yes I just started this amazing novel. I didn't really know if I would like it at first but well now I can't seem to put it down in my spare time." Lily replied her eyes lighting up.
And then they were off, talking about everything from the details of their summer vacation that had been left out, to quidditch and beyond.
****
"Ouch Wormtail! That was my foot!" Sirius growled.
"Sssorry Padfoot."
"Would you both just shut up? We are getting closer. How do you expect us to not be noticed if you two don't stop making so much racket?" Remus hushed.
The three friends quietly crept as close as they could to the table James was sharing with Lily in the corner of the library.
They were seated across from each other and both were smiling as James talked about something while making emphatic gestures with his hands.
Then suddenly Lily burst out laughing and had to cover her mouth to smother the noise.
"Moony..." Sirius whispered quietly.
"What Padfoot?"
"She's gonna fall in love with him."
Remus looked at Sirius questioningly but his friend wasn't paying him any attention. Sirius was looking at what was happening between his best friend and the girl of his dreams and he was smiling wider than Remus had ever seen him smile.
"Come on." Sirius said finally. "Let's go sneak into the kitchens."
"But I thought we were gonna listen to what Lily and James were talking about." Peter squeaked in protest.
"Nah, change of plan Pete." Sirius said steering them back out of the library. "We're gonna let James do his thing."
***
"Oh my gosh it's already ten fifteen. Madam Pince should have kicked us out of here a half hour ago." Lily said suddenly looking down at her watch. "It's already past curfew."
"I guess we'd better head back then." James said sounding rather reluctant.
Lily smiled at him. She had to admit, now that she was giving James a chance to prove himself that he was actually an enjoyable person to spend time with. She had watched with interest as his golden brown eyes had lit up when they were talking about something that really interested him. He was so animated and he had continued to make her laugh throughout the night and she couldn't help but find herself having a good time as they talked.
She began to gather her things together and suddenly from out of no where she felt words spilling out of her mouth.
"Maybe we could do this again sometime soon?"
There was silence for a moment and Lily looked up from collecting her bag to see James staring at her with a look of awe on his face.
"Seriously?" He breathed incredulously. "You mean you would like to hang out together again?"
Lily smiled at his shock and nodded biting her bottom lip.
"How about tomorrow?" James asked eagerly, jumping at the chance to spend time with her.
Lily laughed lightly but shook her head.
"How about next week? Same time?" She offered instead.
"Definitely." He replied moving toward the door with her.
There was a moments quiet as they moved out into the corridor.
Lily finally broke it saying softly, "I'm impressed James. I'm not gonna lie. You've really.. well I won't say changed because I don't really think that's it, but you've really let me see the side of you that I never got to pay attention to before."
James grinned his eyes on the floor and replied just as quietly,
"I only hope you stay impressed from here on out."
Lily nodded and while she didn't say it she thought quietly to herself that there was little doubt he would continue to impress her for awhile yet to come.
*****
It was in Defense Against the Dark Arts later that week with Professor Landrel, a middle aged wizard with a head of wild gray hair that stuck up in the back as if he had slept on that particular spot, that the first changes in their classes began.
Lily watched as he began to write names on dark board. Most of them she didn't recognize but she realized most of the other students in the room had fallen deathly silent. By the time he was finished twenty three names lay on the board.
"These," their professor began, "are the names of the witches and wizards who were either killed or have gone missing just this summer."
The class listened with rapt attention, the silence almost overbearing.
"In only three months we've lost twenty three individuals. The war is escalating. Now this might seem an odd way to begin a lesson but now that we've had a month to readjust to our schoolwork I, and Dumbledore agrees with me, feel that it is time to begin preparing you for what is out there."
He went on to explain how they would be changing their lessons plans from then on out to accommodate dueling practice as well as self-defense spells and maneuvers.
"Another thing that we will be beginning this week is practicing conjuring a patronus." Lily's eyes widened along with the rest of the class. Patronuses were normally seventh year work.
"Dumbledore must really be getting worried," she heard Dorcas whisper to Marlene from the table behind them.
"Now," Professor Landrel continued, "is anyone here familiar with this spell?"
Lily wasn't surprised to see James and Sirius raise their hands as well as Marlene, whose father worked with James' as an auror.
Soon the professor had them standing up the desks shrunk and pressed against the walls for the time being.
"Now it's important to focus on a happy memory. The happier the better and you hold that memory or thought in your mind and use it to conjure the patronus. And remember the spell is expecto patronum."
Lily followed his directions and thought of her first day at Hogwarts. She remembered the feeling of knowing there was somewhere she belonged, of knowing that Severus had been right and that there really wasn't something wrong with her like Petunia said. She remembered meeting her friends and spending the first night after the feast not sleeping but talking all night with Alice instead. She remembered how it felt to look up at the sky in the Great Hall and know that she was finally home.
"Expecto patronum." She said smiling through the memories.
Suddenly a vague silvery figure erupted from the end of her wand. It didn't hold a shape but it was obvious that it was a larger animal.
"Very good Ms. Evans. Keep working on it. I think by the end of the week you might have it down." Professor Landrel praised.
Lily smiled at him and then turned her attention to where Marlene James and Sirius sat with George Hardison, a Ravenclaw, their four patronuses all solidly formed and moving about in front of them. Marlene's was a lioness and Lily watched it prowl about with envy. The other three were a very large dog, which looked something like a grim, a fox with large ears, and a huge stag that's antlers alone took up at least the length of her body from one side to the other. They were beautiful.
She sighed and moved to try again.
A few nights later at dinner Marlene remarked casually,
"You know Lily your patronus looks like it's going to be something big."
Lily smiled through heavy eyes, practicing like they had been doing took a lot out of her.
"Who knows maybe it will turn out not to be anything at all. All I've manage so far it that big cloud of silver." She yawned.
"I don't think it's a cloud. Besides everyone's patronus starts out vague. It takes a while to really get the feeling right. James said his took him more than three weeks. But once you get the hang of it, it will come more naturally to you."
"Let's hope it comes before next week or I'll be so worn out I won't make it through the rest of my classes."
A week and a half from when they had started Lily was still in the same position she had started in. All that would appear when she cast her spell was a big silver cloud. Alice had managed to conjure a lynx and Dorcas had managed a wolf but Lily was still struggling with her big silver cloud.
She felt foolish and embarrassed as the rest of the class sat playing with their patronuses while Professor Landrel tried to coach her through the process again.
It was nearing the end of the class and she was so frustrated she was close to tears.
"I'm sorry Miss Evans I'm afraid I just don't understand. Usually with the environment I've set up and without a real threat of Dementors students are better able to manage this spell."
Lily sighed and made to lower her wand.
"Wait." Sirius' voice rang out. "Maybe that's her problem."
"I beg your pardon Mr. Black?" Landrel raised an eyebrow.
"You see when I spent a month of the summer at James' and his dad was teaching us, James and I both had a hard time getting anything to happen until Mr. Potter conjured up something to scare us or make us angry or…I don't know something to challenge us. Maybe that's what Lily needs, something to motivate her patronus."
James was nodding along next to Sirius as he explained.
From the other side of the room Lily heard Jamie Carlson, a snobbish Ravenclaw girl, whisper loudly.
"Always knew muggleborns needed more help than the rest of us. She can't even manage a simple spell on her own."
Lily's pride prickled at the other girls words. She hated when people brought her background into her schoolwork. Hell she was one of the top students in her year, where did they get off acting like they were better than her.
"Professor I'll work on it." She spoke up, before Marlene or Alice could reply to the girls' comment, turning her attention to the older man who was still discussing the possibilities with James and Sirius.
"Lily I really think James and Sirius might be on to something here."
"Please sir. I'd really rather not hold the class up any longer. I'll work on it in my free time but it wouldn't be fair to keep the rest of the class from getting to practice dueling because I'm not able to pick this up." She pleaded. "If it's all the same to you, I'll just try and manage it on my own. If in a month I still haven't gotten it down we can discuss alternatives."
Lily refused to look at her friends as her teacher nodded his agreement. She wouldn't meet anyone's eye as she gathered her things and left the room.
"Lily.." Alice called after her as she made her way quickly down the corridor.
"I'll meet up with you at dinner alright." She called back trying her hardest to get as far away as possible before the tears fell.
As she sat down to dinner that night her friends were wise enough to not even glance at her sympathetically. They merely carried on with their conversation as if it were business as usual. Lily's thoughts were still on her patronus and her magical ability.
Suddenly she stood muttering to herself loud enough for her friends to hear.
"…more magical ability than that bloody stuck up snob… curse it all if I'm going to give up on this, I'm a damned gifted witch for Merlin's sake!..."
Marlene smiled at Alice and Dorcas as they watched their friend stalk out of the Great Hall looking even more determined than when she entered.
"I knew she wouldn't quit." Alice chimed happily.
"Of course not." Dorcas nodded. "Lily's never quit on anything in her life. She just needs something to motivate her every now and then."
James smiled hearing their words.
"I think I have a plan."
*****
The next week their schedule was switched around to accommodate all the sixth and seventh year DADA classes together, and they began their dueling practice, held in the Great Hall with multiple teachers there to assist. Lily was more than a little surprised when her name was paired with James'. She knew that normally he and Sirius pulled some sort of mischief to get to be partnered together.
They waited their turn to take their place on one of the roped off mats. Lily watched as the other students faced off against each other their faces determined or worried or, usually in the Slytherins case, joyful. She wondered about the world in which they lived forcing their teachers to have to help them better their dueling skills. It wasn't looking very promising.
Suddenly her name and James' were called out. A buzz went through the room as many of the other students remembered their grand show-downs when James had acted like a prat. They watched now as Lily and James approached the first empty dueling mat.
Before they walked in James grabbed her elbow and turned her toward himself.
"Look Lily before this gets too intense I've got to tell you I'm sorry."
"For what James?"
He sighed, "For what I'm about to do."
Lily watched in confusion as he brushed past her roughly and took his place on one end of the roped off court. His face looked set and determined and she noticed Sirius muttering to him from the sideline.
She tried to ignore the feeling of warning in the pit of her stomach as she made her way to her own end of the court but the look on James' face, wiped of all emotion save resolve, had her senses on high alert.
"Alright you both know the rules, if you try anything that isn't permitted your wand won't obey and you will automatically be disqualified. Make it a clean match." McGonagall, who was overseeing their arena remarked sternly.
Lily and James both nodded and McGonagall left the mat and put the spell to protect the bystanders into effect. Her voice rang out as invisible walls formed from the edge of the mat stretching high toward the ceiling enclosing Lily and James inside the confines of the mat.
"You may begin." McGonagall's voice called.
Lily wasn't ready for James attack. First the stinging hex followed by a jinx that slammed her onto her back. The wind knocked out of her she could only slash her wand at him and nonverbally try to trip him up. It didn't work.
"Come on Evans." James taunted, his arrogant cocky persona firmly in place. "I would have thought you could do better than that."
Lily stood and faced him once again. Her face marked with confusion.
"What's the matter Evans? Can't keep up?"
Before Lily could properly block it he sent another hex her way sending her spiraling through the air she hit the invisible wall hard and landed on her stomach choking for air. She looked up at James whose face was once again a mask with no emotion.
Oh come on Lily. She told herself sternly. Just because he's trying to be your friend doesn't mean he's going to take it easy on you.
She stood breathing heavily and grinned.
"Better watch out Potter." She called.
"For wha…"
James was cut short as her nonverbal punching spell hit him squarely in the jaw. She followed it with a few minor hexes waiting for him to recover.
"You know Evan's you would think with all the history we have behind us you would want to do more than just sock me in the jaw."
Lily frowned and could only gasp as her skin began to feel as if she were on fire. She refused to scream but then began to retaliate in earnest.
A crowd had gathered to watch them and it caught its' collective breath when suddenly it seemed Lily and James weren't fooling around anymore. Light of varying colors began to shoot out of their wands in rapid succession and only a few of the spells were managing to make contact now as both participants began to shield themselves. But when they did make contact the results were intense. James now sported numerous cuts from a slashing hex Lily had managed to get through and Lily was still struggling to breathe through the after effects of James' constriction spell.
The crowd gasped as James flew through the air and slammed into the wall much as Lily had done earlier just as Lily was dragged by some sort of invisible rope across the mat her jaw slamming into it roughly.
"Sirius you don't think they'd…" Marlene trailed off watching them go at it worriedly.
"Kill each other. Nah, but man do they have some serious sexual tension going on in there." He chuckled.
Lily was gasping for breath as she managed to free herself from James invisible hold. As she made to stand she realized James was only feet from her about to try and expelliarmus her wand. Lily made a split decision and launched herself at him bringing him down hard onto the mat.
"What the…!" James grumbled as Lily grappled with him.
Spells flew at random as they twisted and turned Lily wrapping herself legs around James waist and using her left hand to reach for his wand as he used his to reach for hers. He groaned as she shifted and Lily grinned wickedly thinking he was as bruised and sore as she felt.
Suddenly two of their spells collided blasting them apart. They were each thrown back to their respective locations and at the same moment their eyes connected similar spells left their lips.
"Expecto Patronum!"
Just as the huge stag burst forth from James wand a doe of similar stature appeared from Lily's.
James gaped in shock and Lily covered her mouth as the two giant forms charged toward one another. They appeared to be on a collision course when at the last second they both slid to a stop and stared each other down. The seconds ticked by as the two figures studied one another. Slowly James' stag and Lily's doe began to circle, each eyeing the other with interest. Lily watched in wonder as the two patronuses suddenly moved closer to one another, each stretched out their neck and they touched noses. It was almost hypnotic watching them together, while James' stag appeared more intimidating with its' antlers reaching high, Lily's doe held a grace and a strength all its' own as well. They seemed like they fit together. Like someone had painted a forest and had captured the magical scene in front of them.
Lily looked up in amazement and watched as James sank to his knees his wand slipping from his fingers. As it hit the floor the bell rang out indicating James had lost but neither he nor Lily moved a muscle. Their patronuses disappeared as the invisible walls vanished. That was when the crowd moved in and Lily's friends rushed to her and she lost sight of James. She couldn't help but wonder what he had made out of the whole thing. She herself was utterly and completely confused.
****
James looked up as his best friend reached him pulling him off his knees to a standing position.
"Padfoot I…" He mumbled.
"I know Prongs come on. Let's get out of here for awhile."
Remus, Sirius and Peter led their friend from the Great Hall and toward the nearest empty classroom.
As Sirius sat James down on a desk his friend looked at him in confusion.
"Did you see?"
His friends nodded.
"But she can't…"
Remus sighed.
"I don't know if it means anything in regard to your animagus Prongs." He supplied. "Maybe it's just a coincidence."
"A coincidence?" James repeated beginning to get a hold of himself. "Not bloody likely. That thing was the match to mine. You saw it."
His friends were silent. James looked from one face to the next.
"Wasn't it?" He whispered feeling shaken.
"It sure looked that way." Remus agreed softly.
Sirius growled, "That's ridiculous people don't have matching patronuses."
James stood and moved to the nearest window. It looked out over the lake.
"It was like they knew each other or something…" He muttered quietly. "Like they were…"
How long he sat staring out at the lake he didn't know but when he finally turned around only Sirius was left waiting.
"Padfoot..." James sighed.
"I know Prongs." Sirius said moving forward until he leaned against the wall shoulder to shoulder with James. "I'm sorry I didn't understand before."
James shook his head and leaned into his best friends shoulder.
"I don't think I really did either but that…was something wasn't it? It meant something?"
"Yeah mate I think it did." Sirius answered tiredly.
They fell silent again.
When they finally did make it back up to the Gryffindor dormitory they only had a few minutes until dinner.
James was startled to find Lily seated on one of the couches Marlene on one side and Alice on the other with Dorcas at her feet.
He waited until she looked up at him, when she did he smiled in relief. The same feeling was still there. The same anticipation, longing, need…the same desire. He didn't know what he would have done if what had happened had somehow altered his feelings for her.
"Interesting class huh?" Sirius joked trying to lighten the atmosphere.
Lily's friends eyed him darkly.
"James I…" Lily began.
"Look it wasn't anything to get all mixed up about." He replied hiding behind his most charming smile. "I'm just glad I could finally force that patronus out of you."
Her face turned to one of shock.
"So that's why you were so mean? That's what you were apologizing for?"
James nodded. "Padfoot was right you just needed a little challenge."
Lily smiled then frowned.
"But that still doesn't explain…"
"So I'm off to dinner. What say the rest of you?" Sirius broke in dragging James along behind him.
James looked at him gratefully as they disappeared through the portrait hole once again.
Lily frowned but allowed her friends to pull her up as well. As she walked toward the Great Hall she let her mind wander. She supposed that if James could act like nothing had happened then she could too, because in the end she wasn't sure if anything really had happened or not. Did it matter if her patronus looked like it liked…or loved… or belonged with…James'? She decided it was probably safer not to think about it too much. She didn't sleep at all that night though.
****