Epilogue: That's not annoying Lance

The next day, Raihan and Lance were at the beach where the story first began. It was raining in the area, except for where they were currently sitting. They were in their personal lounging chairs, shirtless and with their drinks in hand; they also made sure that their sunglasses were glued to their face as to keep the harsh sunlight away from their sensitive eyes. Raihan's Turtonator was consistently using Sunny Day, but it was rewarded constantly with a giant bowl of Galar's finest Pokémon treats; it also had Lance's beach umbrella over its head to shelter it from any rain.

They had been drinking for approximately two hours. Raihan was drowsy from his three drinks, but nonetheless, held his liquor well while Lance was pissed. After six drinks, he was at the point where he'd start sharing his deepest and darkest secrets.

With his voice wavering and slurring, Lance said, "You don't understand Ra…Ra…ooooh – what's your name again?" He was too far gone.

"Raihan…" The darker man looked at the former Champion unamused. Unlike Lance, Raihan was a sleepy drunk, or just calm when filled with alcohol.

"You don't understand, Raihan! I havealota bullshit that I have to deeeal with."

Raihan shook his head. Everyone had problems. What made him so special? "Like what? Ash Ketchum, for example?"

Lance stirred his half-finished drink. It was his sixth. "Hey, I might havalota problems, but they're not even remotely close to Ash…that's forsuuure." He took another gulp. He started to notice that his homemade beergaritas were now going down like water. "Trust me, Ash is more of an annoyance thana problem. Okaaay – so he ruined my vacation, but he didn't mean to."

"Mmmm…"

Lance sighed before continuing, "If only Ash and his friend hadn't tried stealing my Pokémon, I would've had the most relaxing day of my life."

"Is that right?"

"Yeeeesss, you see, I don't havealota time to myself," he then harshly raised his arms in the air, and spilt some of his drink on himself, "I meaaaan, ever since I retired from the Pokémon League, I've been busier than ever. I knew I should've worked part time for the G-men. Ooohhhh, don't get me started with the G-men."

"Mhmm," Raihan said, "I won't."

But Lance went on a tangent anyways, "I don't know whatsup with them. I hate it! I'm sent to do these sssstupid missions where these sssstupid grunts have the most pathetic bad guy motivations. I mean – give me something a lil more dangerous and challenging. I don't wanna face off against Pokémon that I can easily find in a pile o' weeds. For yeeeeaaars, I've been working my ass off for them, but I've been gettin' nuttin' in return. Geeeez, I'm just about to leave them too." There was more to the story, but Lance wasn't going to get into that. No one needed to know about that.

When Lance finished, Raihan chimed, "You're only thirty-six, Lance. You can't just sit around and do nothing for the rest of your life; but then again, you're a millionaire, so it doesn't matter." Raihan took another sip of his drink.

Lance then went quiet. He stared into the distance. Something was on his mind.

Raihan continued, "Unless…there is something else going on?"

"…There is."

Raihan was taken aback since he was expecting a no. "Really!?"

Lance nodded, slowly. "The Commissioner…of deh Pokémon League contacted me. They want me to come back."

Raihan said, confused now, "Come back as what? A Champion?"

Lance shook his head. He then hiccupped, "Naaahh…Commissioner."

Raihan's eyes widened. "Commissioner? Are you serious? Why?"

Lance shrugged, "The man is eighty-five years old. He looked at my previous accomplishments and thought that I'd be a good replacement. We haven't talked about it in person yet, just in writing; however, I want to talk to some people about it first."

"Why?"

"I dunno…I guess it's jusssta habit. I'm not sure why I'd be a good candidate for the job, but I guess they'll tell me eventually. Y-know, everything is so confusing right now. Maybe I should do a career change, and work for the funeral business, because that's what ma life feels like right noooow…a funeraaal. Ooooor I could become a farmer."

"I think Commissioner would be good for you, Lance. You've been a Champion for a long time, and took care of your regions well. It would be a step up, and you might be happier. You obviously miss being in the Pokémon League."

"Suuure do," Lance stirred his drink again, "but goin' back to deh Pokémon League will stiiirrr too many emotions and memories for me to mentally handle. It reminds me of why I shouldn'ta left." He laughed hesitantly, "Seriously, I shouldn't be sayin' this stuff. Don't talk about it to anyone else, okay?"

"I promise I won't." Raihan then finished his beergarita. After licking his lips, he said, "I still don't understand why you're trying so hard to push everything concerning the Pokémon League out of your life. You call yourself washed-up, but it's obvious that you still have a great presence in the Pokémon community. If you really want people to stop calling you a Champion, then make them call you something else. Besides, if you became Commissioner, you'd be able to see all of your old friends again, and watch the next generation of Pokémon trainers rise and surpass you," he paused momentarily before saying, "and I'm sure your girlfriend would be better off knowing that you'd be doing something much safer."

Lance blushed before shouting, "She's not my girlfriend!" He then downed his drink. "We're goooood friends, but I cannae stand her sometimes."

"Why?"

"That woman thinks she's so slick. She just sits there and plays me like a fiddle." He then mocked Cynthia by speaking in a higher tone of voice, "Oh Lance, you're so wonderful, you're such a great man and trainer, and you are a great asset to this region, so please do this for me." He then went back to speaking normally, "And then she turns around and jus' leaves while I'm stuck with all her dirty work for months, because she's busy 'researching.' Researching...pfft...researching my ass."

Raihan asked, "Does she have control over the G-men or something?"

"No, but she always asks me for favours, and I always accept, because she's one helluva sweet talker." Lance then turned to Raihan and grinned. He asked, "Have I ever told you that I love you, Ra-Rawr…what's your name again?"

Raihan chuckled, "I think you're done for tonight."

Lance pouted, "Awww, you're no fun."

"If I give you anymore, I'm going to have to drag you back to the hotel, and wouldn't that be embarrassing for you?"

Suddenly, Lance felt sick to his stomach. He said, blue in the face, "I wanna go back to Joh…uh…where do I live again? Johto? Sinnoh? Where's my cape? Where's my caaaape? The Pokémon world needs to be saved – I need my cape."

Raihan looked at his Turtonator to see how it was doing. As suspected, it was eating happily as it continued to use Sunny Day on the dreariest of afternoons.

Then, Lance piped up once more, "Raihan?"

"Hmmm?"

"Seriously, thanks for listening, and doing this for me. Despite the interruptions yesterday, I'm glad that I met you and made a friend."

Raihan smiled. "Thanks, Lance. I'm glad I met you too. I think we're going to be great friends in the future. Whether you're a Commissioner or not."

THE END