Kylo paced his quarters, furious. He had always known that Hux was after his "job," but he had never expected he would move so quickly to try to undermine him. Kylo was Supreme Leader of the First Order. He would not be taken lightly.
"Ben…" Rey called to him. He stopped in his tracks, afraid to turn around. He didn't know what would be worse, seeing her there or not seeing her.
"What are you doing here?" he managed to keep his voice neutral.
"Why?" Rey pleaded.
"Why what?" He snarled as he turned around. Not seeing her would have been worse.
"The attack on Naboo."
Kylo straightened his back, attempting to regain the authority he felt he'd lost from Hux. "They would not give us information on your whereabouts."
"My whereabouts?" She demanded.
Kylo paused for the tiniest fraction of a second. Rey thought he meant her specifically. "The Resistance." Kylo responded.
"You've just killed thousands. And for what? Nothing. You'll never find me," she spat at him.
The rage in her eyes matched his own. The longer he stared, the less of that rage he felt. "You're right here," he said as he took a cautious step towards her. "And I'm glad you are." the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, but they were genuine.
Rey stood her ground, "Don't you dare." Kylo took another step towards her, reaching out ever so slightly. "Don't... " she put up a hand to stop his advances. "You do not get to look at me like a poor wounded porg after you've just commited mass murder! You are still the monster I first met."
"You don't know what you are talking about." He growled. He should just tell her he didn't call the attack, but that would mean admitting out loud that he was losing control. Having control made him feel better. So much of his life had been out of his, he needed to have it now.
"I know that you sent TIE Fighters after me in the Falcon. I know that you tried to kill your mother on the Raddus, and when she survived you chased her down to Crait. I know that you just bombed an innocent civilization for no reason other than you could." Anger and pain was coming off her in waves.
"I didn't press the trigger." He said quietly.
"What?"
"I didn't press the trigger." He said louder, "I didn't shoot my… I" He closed his eyes, trying to keep his emotions in check.
"You might as well have. It was your men, on your command." It was obvious that Rey had come to care for Leia.
"I know." Kylo confessed. The regret he felt for nearly killing his mother was far heavier than the regret he felt for actually killing Han. At the time, he thought he was mad at himself for not having the strength. Leia never trained with Luke, but Kylo always knew his mother had more power than she let on. He could feel it, even from a young age. So when he felt her presence on that ship, he couldn't do it. It had been years since he had been that close to her and had forgotten what it felt like. If he didn't know any better, he thought he had felt acceptance from her a moment before he moved his finger from the trigger. Before he could process his choice, the bridge of the ship exploded as the TIE fighters behind him did what he couldn't.
Rey seemed to be processing his response. Kylo didn't dare say anything else. His eyes darted back and forth, trying to read her changing face. Her brows were still angled sharply, but her lips had softened. "Why are you doing this?"
Kylo had no answer for her. He had ended up on this path after many smaller choices, many of which were not his own. He closed the already small gap between them. His gloved hand found her cheek, but this time she did not move. Her jaw went stiff in his hand. Why couldn't she have joined him. This would have been so much easier if she had just said yes. Kylo was always destined to end up in a place like this, a place of leadership. His bloodline demanded it. A girl like her had no place here, but he wanted to share it with her.
"Please Ben, you don't have to do this." she pleaded.
"I didn't." He said as the bond snapped apart.
Rey's hand flew to her cheek where his hand had been only a moment before, his last words hanging in her ears. I didn't. What on Jakku could he have meant. She knew the next time they connected, she wanted to yell and scream and be so mad at him for what he had done. Not just the attack on Naboo, but for everything. Except when she found herself staring at his back, she just desperately wanted Ben to be the one that turned around.
There was something about him that made it painfully impossible to let go of hope. She chuckled to herself at the thought. Rebellions are built on hope. This wasn't the sort of hope that the phrase was referring to.
She felt the small shudder of the Falcon coming out of hyperdrive. They must have reached Parmarthe. The Resistance ships descended on the planet's surface. It immediately reminded Rey of Acht-To, mostly water, but she could already see more islands than there were on Acht-To.
"Hope you're not afraid of heights." Joph came up behind Rey, slightly startling her.
"Not really, why?"
"You'll see." he responded with a sad smile.
"Have you been here before?" she questioned.
He nodded, "It's been a while, but yes. Avoid drinking Port in a Storm if you can." His eyes widened as he shivered as if recalling a terrible memory.
She chuckled, "I'll keep that in mind, thanks."
Stepping off the ship, Rey took a deep breath. She had come to love the salty scent of the sea. There was a warm breeze, and ahead of her was a perilous rope bridge leading towards a small village on the nearby cliff peak. This must be what Joph meant when he asked if she was afraid of heights. As she looked towards the horizon, she saw that there was a series of rope bridges connecting peaks and small islands.
Leia came up beside Rey to share the view, "I'm getting too old for this."
"It is beautiful though." Rey offered.
"The Parmarthians have agreed to allow us to stay here and to call this home." Leia explained, "I am very thankful we can have this chance, but Parmarthians really take their infamous bravery to an absurd level."
Rey was relieved. She didn't know that they would be staying here. She had figured it would be just another shortstop and onto the next refuge. Over the next several hours, the remaining Resistance members unpacked what little resources they had and began to move into a series of buildings and bunkers built into the cliffs. The space was precarious, but well hidden.
After the sun had set and everyone had eaten their first real cooked meal in ages, Rey retired to her room. It wasn't much as space was still limited, but she finally had one of her own. She shrugged off her over shirt and sat down on the edge of the bed. The day had taken its toll and she was physically tired, but her mind had not slowed down yet. Though truthfully, it almost never did.
Brushing her cheek, she thought back to Ben and their encounter this morning. What did he mean, I didn't. She had wondered if she would get the chance to ask him. The Force bond they shared didn't seem to make sense anymore. If Snoke was telling the truth about being the one to connect it, they shouldn't be able to see each other anymore. Perhaps he was lying, or maybe there was more to it.
Apparently thinking about it, however, made it stronger, because Ben was back, this time sitting beside her. She didn't need to turn her head to know he was there, he was sitting close enough she could physically feel him, not quite shoulder to shoulder, but nearly. They sat still in silence for several minutes.
Kylo broke the silence, "I wouldn't have attacked Naboo."
"But you did." Rey's response was short and sharp. There was no way that he could try denying it, she had seen the images sent across communications.
"General Hux did."
"I don't understand. He is in your command."
"Hux… made some assumptions about my orders." Kylo seemed unsure of his answer. It made Rey doubt his honesty.
"And why not Naboo?"
"My grandmother was from Naboo." Kylo said as he looked down, his shoulders sinking.
Rey turned to face him, her knee now up against his leg. She tried not to think about it, but was acutely aware of the contact they were now making. "Your grandmother? Han Solo's mother?"
"No. My mother's," He lifted his eyes to meet hers. "Her name was Padme. She was queen of Naboo."
"I…" Rey started. She didn't know where to go with her thought. "But Lord Vader was her father."
"And Padme was her mother. You do know where children come from?" He almost cracked a smile, but even without it she knew he was teasing her.
"Yes.. I just." Rey was flustered. To hear him make a joke, especially one of that nature, she no longer knew what to do with her hands. "It just never occurred to me that someone would…"
"Love a monster?" He cut her off, turning his body in towards hers, increasing the contact between them.
"I never said that." Rey held his gaze, her heart raced. She could have sworn he was leaning towards her. Her eyes flicked down to his lips which were slightly parted. "Tell me about her." she said quickly before he got any closer.
Kylo sat up straighter and faced forward again, "I don't know much about her. I knew she was a Senator my mother looked up to, but I did not know she was family until… later."
"Did Leia know who she was?" Rey inquired. She didn't think that was the kind of information parents kept from their children, not that she would know.
"Yes. There was a lot she kept from me." Ben's signature pained scowl was returning to his face. "She wasn't the one to tell me that Vader was my grandfather."
"How did you find out?"
"From the slander campaigns against her." He was sounding even angrier.
Rey was beginning to put it together. Leia had told her that she had no choice to leave the Senate. Perhaps this is what she was talking about. "What happened?"
Kylo didn't answer right away, his fist clenched as he began to talk. "My mother had been nominated to be a leader in the Senate for her party when someone shared the information that she was Lord Vader's daughter. The supposedly rational and impartial Senate turned on her. There were attempts on her life and she was forced out of a world she had been devoted to her entire life by people she trusted."
"How do you know all this?" Rey asked.
"Because I'm not stupid." Kylo shouted. He quickly calmed down when he saw Rey flinch from his outburst. "I spent enough time with her on Hosnian Prime to learn what the Senators were really like. They didn't pay attention to the child in the corner, not even her."
"Oh." Rey didn't have much else to add, this was a lot of information, and not just in what he was saying, but the how.
Kylo stood up rather quickly and began to pace in a small path back and forth. "They all hid it from me. They kept from me my history. They all knew, knew that there was something in me, something none of us wanted. And instead of giving me a reason, giving me an explanation, they hid it from me as though not knowing would keep me from giving in."
Rey watched him as he paced. She didn't need the bond to know how much he hurt, but through the bond she could actually feel it.
He continued, "She sent me a message. She told me that she was sorry that I had found out, that the only reason anyone knew was because someone she thought she trusted broke that trust. She tried to tell me that the knowledge itself was powerful and dangerous."
Rey rose from her seated spot and put herself in front of the pacing Kylo. He did not notice that she had interrupted his path, which resulted in her putting up her hands to keep him from crashing into her. Her palms now on his chest, his own hands raised to hold her arms just above her elbows. "She was trying to protect you."
"I didn't need it." He wanted to sound angry, but it didn't come out that way.
Ben towered over her. She expected to feel scared, but she didn't. Instead she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. This wasn't sympathy she told herself as she held him.
Eventually he tightened his own grip around her and leaned his face against the top of her head, but not long after that, the bond closed leaving them both clinging to the air in front of them.