Disclaimer: As usual it's not my idea, J.K. Rowling is the mastermind behind it all.

Author's Note: To everyone who reads this story and enjoys it I am very sorry for the long long delay in getting it updated. I've had a lot of things I've been dealing with this summer and I haven't had the time to really go through and edit and such the way I wanted to and I'm not the sort of writer who can just put out things I really haven't gone over for you all to read. So as sorry as I am for taking so long to update I am also happy that I didn't give you something that wasn't worth reading :)

To everyone who reviewed and who has been waiting so patiently thankyou :) I really appreciate all of your feedback and enthusiasm over this story! It really makes me happy to know you all are enjoying my version of what happened between Lily and James as much as I am.

To The DA is dressed to the nines Thanks so much for being so understanding and supportive. I'm really glad you've been reading and keeping up with this story and I really love all the feedback you've given me :) And thanks for the message it was really nice of you!

Well here goes chapter 13 sorry about the length but this was really where the chapters needed to be divided up. Hopefully you all enjoy it and don't worry more Lily and James romance is just around the corner!

Chapter 13

Goodbyes of a Different Sort

Lily and James by some odd sort of mutual agreement didn't talk about the kiss they shared on James' birthday, in much the same way that they didn't talk about the one they'd shared outside the Leaky Cauldron. They carried on as they had before spending time with their now mutual friends and with each other.

Oddly enough right before term ended Lily found herself having a rather serious discussion with none other than Sirius Black.

"So I'm not sure I'm following here Evans. You're telling me that the most intelligent witch in Hogwarts, destined to be Head Girl, Lily Evans has no clue what she wants to do once we are out of here?"

Lily looked down at where his head was resting in her lap and she shrugged.

"It's odd I know but with the war and all I've been having a really hard time making plans for the future."

Sirius sat up and resituated himself so that his back was against the trunk of the Elm tree they were sitting under.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked worriedly. "Like you aren't sure you have a future or something?"

Lily shook her head. "It's nothing like that. I'm just not sure what I want to do when so much is going on in the wizarding world right now. I mean I've thought of being a Medi-witch or an Auror, something useful you know. Maybe that way I'll feel like I have a purpose in the war. Then again I'm not sure at all if that is the path I want to take. I've also thought of becoming an Unspeakable or working for the Ministry in some other way. I just…don't know."

Sirius nodded in understanding. "I get that. It's tough times that we live in right now and I suppose everyone is entitled to a little confusion as far as the future is concerned."

Lily grinned and leaned her shoulder into his. "And what about you? What does Sirius Black want to be?"

"It's probably stupid but I want to be an Auror." He answered somewhat shyly.

"You mean like James' dad?"

Sirius glanced at her in wonder. "Man you are too sharp sometimes Evans…Yeah, exactly like James' dad. He's one of the best wizards I've ever known and he's always been there you know. I don't know how much James has told you but I pretty much moved in with his family this summer. His mum and dad didn't even question it, just took me in like it was no big deal and have treated me just like they treat James ever since. Like they've always had two sons instead of one."

Lily waited while he gathered his thoughts. He ran a hand through his dark hair and his striking grey eyes looked out over the Hogwarts grounds.

"I don't know if I've ever met anyone as good as the Potters and if in some small way I can be a little like James' dad…or hell even like James himself, then I guess that kind of helps to counteract my awful parentage and familial connections."

Lily reached over and grabbed his hand. "You know you don't have to keep trying to prove you aren't like them. We know that. Everyone does. We can see it when we look at you, spend time with you. Take now for example. If you were anything like your family you wouldn't want me within feet of you much less touching you. You'd think I would contaminate you with my muggleborn filth."

"There's nothing wrong with you. And if anyone is filthy it's them. I'm sorry that they think the way they do." He said squeezing her hand gently and shaking his head at his family's absurdity.

"See what I mean? You aren't like them Sirius. I'm the last person you'd need to try and prove that to. And I understand completely why you would want to be like James' dad. It's just…I don't want you to be like him because you want to separate yourself from your family in some way. Be like him because that's what you want."

Sirius nodded and placed his arm around her shoulders, tucking her into his side.

"You know Lily-Flower you're a pretty smart witch."

"Thankyou." She replied letting her head fall and rest on his shoulder.

"But for being so smart it's taking you way too long to realize that you belong with my best friend." He added.

Lily stiffened but didn't pull away. "It's just…I need a little time is all."

She felt Sirius tense slightly in reaction to her stiffness before he questioned, "You mean you're starting to like James?"

"I've sort of liked him for awhile." She replied closing her eyes against the explosion that she knew was coming.

"WHAT! Merlin, that's great! Go tell him!" Sirius chortled yanking her tighter against his chest and shaking her happily.

"No." She said laughing at his enthusiasm. "I can't yet. I have to…give it some time. I need to sort some things out."

"Like what?"

"Like my thoughts and feelings. I need to let things happen a little more slowly. I'm not like James. I can't just go running headlong into something without considering the consequences. I have to know that it's the right thing." She explained.

Sirius laughed loudly. "Oh Evans, can't you see you're just prolonging the inevitable. One of these days you and him are going to be together and when that day comes you are going to look back and think to yourself, why didn't I date him sooner." He let his head fall back against the tree and he closed his eyes in relaxation.

"That may be so, but right now I can only do things my way. And while I like him…sometimes more than I think I should…I have to let it play out slowly." She informed him, before adding. "And don't you dare go and tell him how I feel. If you do so help me I'll charm Peter to follow you around singing 'God Save the Queen' for a month."

"I won't tell him. It's too much fun watching you two stumble around the big elephant that's between you."

Lily frowned. "You mean that we like each other?"

"No I mean that you love each other."

She stiffened instantly and made to pull away from him but found she couldn't, he was holding her in place against his chest. She looked at him worriedly.

"Don't have a panic attack Lily. I'm only telling you what I think. It's not the end of the world and the sky isn't falling and Prongs isn't going to appear suddenly and propos…"

"Hey." A voice called out and Lily looked up startled to see James standing in front of her.

Sirius began to chuckle madly as Lily flushed crimson.

"Hey Prongs. Are you here to propose?"

Lily shoved against Sirius' chest but he refused to let her go.

"Because," he went on impishly, "if you are I don't think you are going to get the answer you want. Lily-Flower and I have bonded. So much so in fact that I think we are going to elope. We were thinking honeymoon in Italy. Isn't that right love?"

Lily couldn't help but burst out laughing and to her surprise James just grinned at them both.

"Well I'm glad to know that Lily's taken with you. I hope you two are wonderfully happy together and have a dozen horrid children."

Sirius gasped at James' words and grabbed Lily by the shoulders with both of his hands.

"Can we name the first one Alphard? I've always liked my Uncle Alphard!" He asked smiling like a lunatic.

"Absolutely not," Lily chuckled going along with their silliness, "because the first one will be a girl."

Sirius scrunched his face into a mock frown. "You know what Evans I don't think this is going to work out after all. I mean what the hell would I name a girl?"

Lily cackled madly and said, "We could always name her Bella after your favorite cous…"

Sirius began to tickle her and Lily fell back into the grass laughing uncontrollably.

"You know I think Petunia is a nice name, don't you James? We could name the ickle girly after her auntie."

Lily snorted and said through her laughter, "Merlin… no."

Sirius continued to tickle her grinning from ear to ear. "I think so…I mean unless you want to name her Walburga after my bitch of a mother, oooh wouldn't that piss of the old bat."

As she fought to take in air between her giggles Lily reached out to James and said dramatically through tears of mirth,

"Please, save me….I…just…c..can't have…a kid named…Wa..Wa..Walburga."

"Well in that case." James said launching himself at Sirius.

Lily watched as the two of them wrestled in the grass and she couldn't keep the smile off of her face as she caught her breath.

She grinned wider as she realized that despite all that was going on in the world it was nice to just act ridiculously silly sometimes.

The last few months of school flew by in a blur of final exams and papers and before they knew it the students were back on the train and headed home for the summer.

"Ugh thank Merlin we are headed home." Marlene muttered irriatably. "If I had to look at another inch of parchment or study one more thing pertaining to potions I would literally vomit."

"Well we all know Alice isn't happy." Dorcas put in grinning. "She is completely smitten with Frank and she's been moaning to everyone for the past two months that she can't believe that he won't be around next year."

Lily sighed and leaned her head back against the wall of the compartment, under the window. "You don't know the half of it. As her best friend I've literally had to hear over and over and over again every detail of their relationship and how much she is going to miss all the sweet things he does for her…and to her."

"Well at least they'll have the summer together. Though I don't envy her going to meet Frank's mother." Marlene put in. "That woman is downright scary."

James nodded his agreement. "When I was little I used to hide whenever she came over to the house."

"Well I for one can't believe how fast the last days of school went. I mean it feels like it was April last week." Dorcas said glumly. "I hope summer doesn't go by the same way. I could use a real break."

"Speaking of summer," James began looking at Sirius, "Padfoot's birthday is the end of June, a few weeks from now and we were thinking of having everybody over to celebrate."

"Don't let him fool you his parents want to do a joint thing because they didn't get to be there for his seventeenth birthday. So it's technically for both of us, but you don't have to buy Prongs any more gifts. Only me." Sirius put in devilishly.

"Sounds like fun." Marlene answered smiling. "I'm sure my mum will be pleased to hear I'm spending time with James again."

"She still carrying on about how we'd make a good couple?" James chuckled.

"Of course, despite the fact that the last time she saw you was at my eleventh birthday party."

"How come your mum hasn't been coming to any of the Ministry events?" James asked curiously. "I mean we've seen your dad around a ton as he works with mine but your mum's been missing."

"Well what with the brood and all she's been home quite a lot these past few years. I've of course been roped into helping her; hence my not being at any of the usual parties over the years either. With all the little ones it is always tough to find someone to watch them and now with the war going on and all, my mum doesn't really want the kids to be overly visible so she stays home with them."

James nodded and let the topic drop.

"So I take it if we invite you guys you all will come?" Sirius said grinning madly as everyone nodded.

Lily sighed. "I'm not sure what I'll be able to do this summer. It's hard for me to nail down anything definite what with my dad scheduling last minute 'family time' and insisting we all go to the beach and what not. And on top of that my sister is probably going to be bringing her boyfriend around again. My mum likes to says he's 'interesting' which is code for she doesn't like him and as I've said I think my dad would like to shoot him, but mum says that we are going to have him over for dinner again sometime soon, which means that we'll have to hide all evidence that I'm a witch and I'll have to pretend I go to a regular school and that I'm perfectly normal."

"Well we'll send you the invitation and if your parents say no, Prongs and I will just have to make a house call." Sirius insisted.

James nodded at his words. "You need to come Lily. I won't have any fun if you don't."

Lily laughed at his pathetic tone. "Oh really? I find that rather hard to believe."

"The sad thing is it's probably true." Remus put in lightly. "If you can't come he'll probably just mope around all day."

James was nodding along enthusiastically as Remus spoke.

"Yup I'll mope and pout and drive everyone crazy so either your parents say yes or Sirius and I will have to make a midnight rescue." He put in firmly.

Lily grinned and leaned her head against his knee. "Alright James, I'll come."

"Perfect," Sirius cackled, "now we will all be there."

The rest of the train ride passed too quickly for the sixth years, who were enjoying their time together. As the train rolled to a stop James helped Lily to stand and they followed their friends out and onto the platform.

Lily tried to ignore the somewhat nervous feeling she was getting at having to leave her friends for the summer. She stuck close to James as they collected their belongings and moved through the masses of departing students. When she got jostled one time too many he grabbed a hold of her hand and began to guide her through the crowd. Her stomach fluttered strangely at the protective gesture and she had to remind herself to breathe.

It was like that when she was with James. She could spend hours with him and start to think she had only been imagining her attraction to him. Then out of nowhere a single look or gesture or touch would send her senses into chaos. She couldn't understand her own reactions to him and she couldn't keep herself from imagining how things would be if she allowed herself to actually go out with him.

Would he continue to like her as much as he did now? Or would he realize that she wasn't as wonderful as he had built up in his head? Would he still see the Lily that he always wanted? Or would she be somewhat lacking in the girlfriend department?

Lily sighed in frustration and James turned to look at her.

"We'll be through in a second." He told her misconstruing the sound for one of impatience.

A moment later they had reached the end of the huge crowd of students.

"There you are kiddo." A voice called out. "Where've you been? Sirius got here a while ago."

James moved toward his dad still unconsciously holding Lily's hand.

"Ahh now it makes sense." Sirius chuckled when he saw Lily being towed along. "I guess we can forgive your tardiness."
James flushed and Lily frowned at his tone.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Potter it's nice to see you again." She said pleasantly, smiling as they responded, before adding, "I'd love to say and catch up but I need to go through the barrier. My parents are waiting on the other side." She turned to James, standing awkwardly in front of him, once again feeling nervous at having to leave.

"I'll walk you." He offered.

"That's alright. I know you'll want to catch up and I'm sure I'll find them just fine on my own." She answered quickly before the idea could really take hold in his mind.

"Are you sure because I don't…"

"No really it's fine. You go ahead and catch up with your parents. I'll see you later."

James nodded shoving his hands into his pockets as if to keep himself from reaching for her. Lily smiled at the move and stepped up in front of him.

"So I don't get a hug then?" She said softly.

He grinned crookedly and nodded. "Of course you do."

Once he wrapped his arms around her Lily realized her mistake. They were in front of his family and she shouldn't have suggested anything that would look so intimate. Especially when she began to react to his closeness.

With his arms wrapped around her his smell in her nose, she couldn't keep herself from leaning into his embrace and hugging him back fiercely. It was a struggle for her to pull away and smile as if her pulse hadn't just jumped into overdrive.

"Can you do me a favor?" She said suddenly surprising herself. "Just write to me like you did last summer. Tell me everything. Whatever comes to mind or whatever you're doing that day. Just tell me all of it."

"I will." He said seriously. "I promise."

"I'll see you around then?"

He just nodded, his eyes dark and far away. She knew his thoughts were just as muddled as her own in that instant. So she just nodded in return and turned away rushing to collect her things and meet up with her parents. She didn't want to have to say a real goodbye.

Hope you liked it! R&R please