This could not be...he had placed all bets on one card, and in the blink of an eye, it all came crashing down, like a house of cards. Bleylock was too stunned to even speak.
His fathers face was hard as stone.
He would never be good enough in his fathers eyes. And no matter how much he pleaded, his family would never accept I'Son as his legally wedded partner. Bleylock fought the emotions that rose within. What to do now? He could not just cut I'Son from his heart, with the snap of his fingers. He did not want the life his family was actively pulling him into. He wanted a life where he could be homosexual. Where he was free, to be whom he really was, with the partner of his choosing. A hard lump started to form inside.
The dagger kept I'Son safe, should he ever visit Abraxor again. No one would harm a recipient of the dagger. But Bleylock planned to never bring I'Son back. He did not trust his own father. If he came there with I'Son, now that this father knew that they were lovers, it not only put him at risk. Even with the dagger as a protection, Bleylock knew, others had suffered the same fate as the young couple they had seen. Dragged of to the dreadful mines, never to see each other again. Him being a member of one of the prominent families, would ensure they did not have to suffer the public humiliation. But for I'Son, it could still end in one of the elite forces taking him, possibly selling him off as a slave to another planet or moon. All to keep them apart. Bleylock, with hands shaking, terminated the call with his father. He sat back in the sofa. I'Son would still be out, since he had drugged him with Abraxor medication again. He could imagine the expression on his face, when he told him. He recalled I'Son being sceptical about whether he had read his father right or not.
"Are you sure you read him right General? Given your planets rules and customs, this is taking a major chance. I got a feeling it may backfire, and badly. Try talking to him about it over time, maybe he will warm up to it, but dont be hasty" I'Son said.
Bleylock knew he had done the exactly oposite.
The threat from Hawk Tidman,a hacker originally from Stellar Unix, whom clearly had gotten involved, because his father had placed a proposal to a family there, and a rather famous young woman, Rainbow, had made them put pressure on I'Son. And it had scared him.
Bleylock did not want I'Son mixed into this. He had just earned his title as professor, a major achievement for someone as young as him. And that title alone opened doors that used to be closed.
Bleylock poured himself a stiff drink. He fought the feeling of total devestation that rose inside of him. How would I'Son react when he heard this? Would he pull away, and leave him here all alone? Would he be abandoned by the one he truly loved, because I'Son would see reason in what his father said, or because the potential to get hurt was so high?
Bleylock emptied his drink, and then poured himself a new one. I'Son was the light of his life. His rock. He had to find a way to make this last. To loose him...the bare thought of doing what his father had asked..it cut like knives. For once in his life, he felt alive, vibrating, and then, it seemed like the dark shadows of his past caught up with him. Hawk Tidman didnt have to tell his secret. He had done it himself, put all bets on one card, and look where that got him. He recalled the cold expression in his fathers eyes once more. The hardness in that one word, the word that broke his dream.
No. Then followed by many harsh words, meant to hurt, to break him open. Words he really did not catch. That one word said it all.
Somehow, he had to find a way to break it off gently with I'Son. And he was in a bitter war with himself over it. To loose I'Son would send him spiralling into a whirlwind of negativity. He needed him, to have that light to stare himself out of the darkness that threatened to swallow him.
Bleylock could see the drip in his wine. Tears. He was crying over what at some point had to come. He hated that it had to be like this. And what about I'Son when it was overwith and done?
Bleylock knew it would hurt to see him date others. To see him happy and laughing, and it not being with him. Somehow, he had to bring himself to a point where he could tolerate that. And if possible, shield I'Son from seeing what was coming. Bleylock finished his wine, then he went to the bedroom. He could hear I'Son breathe calmly, the black satin covers clinging to his body. Bleylock did not believe in angels, but that would be the description he would put on his lover right now. Bleylock carefully laid down, and pulled I'Son gently into his arms. His heartbeats helped him calm his own inner anxiety.
"I have to find a way..I cant loose him.."...
There was no denying it. It had been several weeks since they came back, and I'Son had noticed a gradual change in General Bleylock. It was still very subtle, but he was sensitive enough to pick up on it. At times, this would be an double edged sword. Seemingly, they were still fine, the romance was still there, well, to a degree. Maybe it was that first love finally giving way for the norm, when the pink sunglasses of the romance had come off. I'Son didnt give it too much thought. He had received his title as professor. That alone made for him to have an enormous workload. It was late nights, trying to stay on top of the workload he had. There was even days he wished he could go back to how things were before he had his new title. But I'Son thrived with challenges, and this was as good as it got. He got to use his brain in a very stimulating way, finally challenging himself to go even further. General Bleylock had other challenges. He always made it home every night, but he seemed tired and worn, like there was a lot on his mind, a problem he tried to solve, but the answer seemed to escape him at every turn. I'Son knew better than to ask, Bleylock would get snappy at everyone if he was not ready to share, even him. But his consume of Alcohol from Abraxor had gone up. I'Son wondered if he had spoken to his father about matters, or if it was the creepy eyes that had been used to threaten him, that was the problem. He blocked the thoughts of it by focusing on his work. He had also noticed that he was being followed. But something told him, it was not dangerous. He felt like it was some kind of protection, without knowing spesifically what that was. He chose to push the thought away for now. He wrapped up the work for the day and then, drove home.
He had hoped Bleylock was at home. With the schedules they had now days, they hardly ever saw each other. Maybe a movie and some alone time would be good for them. I'Son smiled as he considered making a romantic gesture, writing small love notes to cheer his lover up, and hide them around the house, leading to a night of pure passion. He was about to start this, when his gaze fell on Bleylocks desk. Disorderly paperwork. He hated that. Nothing wrong with keeping the place clean. I'Son decided to clean it up. No need adding more stress to the General. He had enough on his plate as it was. Then, he saw the reports. And noticed the code for what kind of medical treatment had been used on the prisoners, and the reports on their reactions. He hated the fact that prisoners, no matter how well deserving, was used as guinea pigs for new experimental drugs. I'Son was not fully convinced all of these prisoners was even guilty. Some of them had just spoken against Technoid and faced framing, because Technoid saw them as a threat to their operations. He sighed at that. His employer was far from perfect, he admitted that. But there was no grounds for him to quit his job here, just because he did not agree with their work ethics. Then, the worst shock hit him. The last report, where a prisoner had been given a treatment for his eyes, and clearly, someone had not measured the dosage right, the prisoner was permanently blinded, and who had created the eye drops used? He could not keep himself from looking. And it felt as if his heart stopped. Bleylock had approved the method as a means to get answers, and he was using one of his inventions. I'Son started to breathe hard. This could not possibly be.. He quickly read through the report, pulling it out of the pile. And the more he read, the more he realised, when it came to his research, Bleylock had been less than honest with him. A quick check through the other reports confirmed his suspicion. Bleylock had used his research to hurt people. I'Son felt down right nauseous at this. There had to be a good explanation for this. Bleylock knew how he felt about this subject. It had to be a mistake somewhere. He had no idea how many hours he spent reading up on it, but finally, he heard the door go. Bleylock was home.
I'Son rose from his chair as he entered the room. Distress was written all over him.
Bleylock noticed the report in his hand, and how pale I'Son seemed.
"I hope this is all a mistake General. I made it crystal clear that my research was not meant to hurt others, no matter what scum of the galaxy they may be. Please, tell me this is just a mistake, that this is the wrong id numbers on the reports" I'Son begged.
Bleylock just looked at him with a blank stare. His own heart sank. I'Son knew. There would be no way to justify that his research was the one that got the best results. I'Son did not want to participate in this, for any reason. And he had broken his trust, by taking the experimental drugs he had developed, and tested it on prisoners that would not survive anyway. If you ended up in a Technoid prison, there was no getting out.
"It is not a mistake I'Son. What you see, is the correct identification code. It is your research that was used to make these prisoners talk. You should not feel guilty over it. These people have caused harm to your employer, and they refuse to admit to their mistakes. The only way to make them talk, is by using the best tools. And those tools came from your hand I'Son. You are possibly the best scientist we ever had. You have to understand, even your research has to be tested, before it can be mass produced to help the galaxy we all live in" Bleylock finally said after a long pause.
I'Son could hardly believe what he heard.
"These are living human beings research is meant to make things better. I never signed up to work for Technoid, to have my research abused and misused to hurt others. I am not like that. There has to be another way my research can be approved for use, than to use prisoners as guinea pigs" he managed, with utter disbelief in his tone of voice.
Bleylock all of a sudden acted so strange. Had he always been this cold, this unemotional?
I'Son tried to recall, not looking through rose tinted glasses this time.
No,not cold. He had seen a hurt man, a proud man held under his fathers thumb, but someone willing to do what it took to break free.
This however, amounted to treason in his eyes.
"I am sorry I'Son, but I have a job to do for Technoid, as do you. I will get the results Technoid asks for, by any means necessary. You just happened to create the perfect tools. It is that simple. And this is not something to be ashamed of. If anything, be proud of it. I know I would be if I were you" he said.
I'Son felt anger boil up inside of him. They were lovers, true that, but that did not make using his research to cause others pain right.
"So what is all this that we share to you then, General?Am I just a tool for you to be able to control others? A useful scientist to come up with ways to get the answers you and Technoid wants?" he spat, feeling disgusted with what he now witnessed.
That made Bleylock flitch.
"It is not like that I'Son. I love you, and I need you, the same way I need air and water" he said.
I'Sons blue eyes shone with disbelief.
"If you truly loved me, why would you not stand up to your father, fight for us,respect my boundries with my research?" he finally asked.
Bleylock took a step towards him. There was something about his eyes that made I'Son remain standing.
"I already spoke to my father I'Son. You were right. He will never accept me as who I am, accept us as a couple. I told him the truth, that I only want you. I was given a choice. I chose you, I am no longer considered a part of the family, I will be shunned, all alone for eternity, and I do risk being murdered by my own,should they so see fit. I chose the family, I still have them. This is not easy for me I'Son. I want to chose you, if I could, I would take you somewhere no one would ever find us, to spend my days to make you happy,make you smile, but.." Bleylock looked down with a heavy sigh.
I'Son understood. This really was not a choice. Bleylock had tried, he had fought a desperate fight against his inner darkness, against his familys wishes. And he had lost. His dream lay in ruins.
I'Son had no clear idea on how they could fix this, if it even could be fixed. All he knew was, their relationship would come to an end. As much as that hurt the both of them, he had no choice. They would have to make the best out of what time they had left.
"We will find a way General, I dont know how yet, but we will find a way" he whispered, as he pulled Bleylocks head to his chest, feeling how Bleylock wrapped his arms around him, and the sore sobs over a beautiful dream of a life in freedom and happiness,lay shattered at their feets. I'Son held him close, while his own silent tears rolled down his cheeks, for the beautiful love they had now lost, the love that showed so much promise, so much potential, that was now gone forever...
It did not end well. And the start of a downward spiral is now set to come into play. I may not be a fan of Bleylock myself, but I also feel so deeply sorry for him in this. I could not imagine living like he has to myself. The betrayal against ISon will also come with a set of complications,and the inner darkness of Bleylock is sure to become an issue that shapes the story from this point on.