A/N. This past Saturday May 2st marked the fourth anniversary of when The Loud House first aired on Nickelodeon. I know it's a little late but I've decided to wright this for the occasion. This is my first one-shot and also my first fanfic based on an episode. While Not nearly as bad as "No Such Luck." or "Brawl in the Family." In my view anyway. "One of the Boys" was criticized as being one of the worst episodes of TLH. Personably I enjoyed this episode simply because it was presented as a whole "What If" scenario. Of course all of his brother in that episode were presented as jerks, and yes they were all lazy creativity, exampled "Loki and Loni were just male equivalents of Lori and Leni different gender same characters." However instead of a dream there was a real version were Lincoln runs away from home and becomes adopted by "BROTHERS" in quotation marks because in this version instead of being sent off to another dimension were Lincoln is the middle child of only boys. Lincoln goes to a monastery were he joins monks.
WARRING: This story dose have some references from other cartoon shows outside TLH, I'll leave that for you to find. Please comment below.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from The Loud House. All Character's and Content are owned by Nickelodeon.
After Clyde came over to the house to visit Lincoln for the day. The two went to the fridge to find something to eat but got only to be grossed out by something that tasted like grass clippings.
"My sister must have started a new health food diet." Lincoln said
"I think it's great having a lot of sister in a big family like this." Clyde said
"Oh Clyde if you only knew." Lincoln said
He went on to explain all the problems he has with his sister and there were a lot. From the time he was only going over to Ronnie Anne's house for a visit, then all ten of his sister's spiffed him up, they slicked his hair back, mended his clothes, rolled a lint roller over him about a dozen times.
How he wanted to spent his weekend at Gus's Game and Grub, or At Dairy Land Amusement Park, and in the end how all his sister ended up taking him to the Mall instead.
How after playing Video Games for hours on end he got a muscle cramp in his thumb. And pretty much all his sister acted like it was a life threating emergency. Leni rapped the strongest linen cloth around it for support, Luna sang her best songs, and Luan told her best jokes, 'both in an attempt to lift his spirits.' Lynn gave his thumb a rather uncomfortable thumb massage 'which almost felt like she nearly broke his thumb off.' Lucy wanted to summon a sprite to possess his thumb and make it better, Lola placed his thumb on her best throw pillow, Lana looked threw the weeds in the back yard for any herbal remedies to treat his thumb. 'Turned out to be poison oak.' All Lincoln really needed was what Lori suggested as Lily kissed his thump and made it all better.
As he was explaining this to Clyde he was eating peanut butter out of the jar. Lisa came in also looking for something to eat. After explaining how he contaminated the Peanut butter with his bugger picking finger she declined.
As Lincoln and Clyde departed Lincoln shouted out. "Sometime I wish I had only Brother Instead of Sisters."
Lisa overheard his comment and even though the four year old genius was not allowed to openly experiment on any of her sibling. Well, let's just say that Lisa had something in mind for her brother.
Later that night as the entire Loud family was fast asleep in their beds Lincoln only drifted awake for only a moment. He noticed something out of the ordinary. When he opened his eyes he saw his sister Lisa standing right alongside his bed.
"GAHH!" Lincoln woke startled
"Brother, I've overheard you saying how you wanted to be in a family of only brother." Lisa stated
Lincoln was speechless so Lisa continued.
"Lets just say I know of a particular so call "Family" who are comprised of "Only Boys" who are willing to "Adopt" anyone who runs away from home and arrive at their home." Lisa said using finger quotation for 'Family', 'Only Boys', and 'Adopt.
"You know who they are?" Lincoln asked
"I know where they live." Lisa said as she handed Lincoln a piece of paper with an address written on it.
The paper read. (2727 CHURCH STREET)
"A family who is willing to adopt any boys that came to them?" Lincoln said
"Of cores, arrive at that address and you'll be surrounded by "Brothers". " Lisa stated using finger quotations for "Brothers" as she gave her very creepy grin as she departed his bedroom.
Lincoln thought to himself if he runs away from home and joins this family of boys he may never see his sisters again. But he will be adopted into a family consisting of only brothers. So without further thought the white haired man with the plan secretly packed up all his clothes, comic books, and video games into a huge duffle bag. First thing tomorrow morning after breakfast I'm going straight to his new family of only brothers as Lisa told him.
After breakfast he ran upstairs, grabbed his duffle bag pulled out the piece of paper he had and as he was heading out the door his father spotted him. "Hay son were are you going with that?" he asked
Lincoln was in a bit of a pickle, he shouted out the first thought that came to mind. "Me and Clyde are working on a project, I was heading over to his house so we can get started."
His father believed him and he said. "All right son just be back before dinner."
And with that Lincoln ran out the door and left the house. Thinking he was going to be adopted into a family of only brothers. However he will soon find out that what Lisa meant by brothers.
He boarded a bus and was dropped of at the address 2727 Church Street. With his bag in hand he looked around and saw a huge stone wall that looked real old fashion. A man in a derby and a tie suit and walking with a cane was passing by. Lincoln went up to him and asked. "Excuse me sire. Is this the address were all the "Brothers" Live?" using finger quotation for the word brothers.
The man smiled and said. "Of cores you can enter threw there." He said as he pointed his cane at the entrances of the gate.
"Thanks!" Lincoln said as he darted to the entrance.
There was a long coble stone path going from the entrance to the inside. As Lincoln was walking the coble stone path he came to a huge courtyard of stone with what looks like a church in the distances and a large building almost like a boarding house in down town Royal Woods. Lincoln was taken in awe of the beauty around, until he herd chanting in the distance.
He turned around and saw men dressed in long hooded robes walking up and around. The robed men walked up. At first Lincoln was a little worried. A little freaked out. Until one of the men threw his hood back and greeted him.
"Welcome" he said
"Hi, Is this the place where all the brothers hang out?" Lincoln asked
"Of Course, We're all brothers here." The man said.
"You've came to join us?" another one of the hooded men asked.
"Of courses that is if your still adopting?" Lincoln said not think much about the men in the long hooded robes.
"What's your name son?" The first man asked
"I'm Lincoln."
All the men surrounding him eye's opened wide. "Brother Lincoln?" they said.
"Yes, does this mean I'm adopted into your family!" Lincoln asked with excitement
"Of course we've always wanted a Brother Lincoln!" the first robed man answered with excitement.
Then he introduced them to all the so called "Brother's" that were there.
"I'm Brother Washington, He's Brother Jefferson, There's Brother Madison, and Brother Monroe, Brother Jackson."
40 Brothers Later…..
"He's Brother Bush, Brother Clinton, Brother W. Bush, and last but not least of all Brother Obama." Brother Washington said
"You'll make a fine addition to cloister life." Brother Jefferson said
"Cloister Life what do you mean?" Lincoln asked worried
"Don't you know what this place is?" Brother Clinton said as he pointed to a sign.
Lincoln took one look at the sign and what it said. "Royal Wood's Monastery."
It then downed on Lincoln that they were all monks. This made Lincoln worry.
"I'm only eleven years old! I Like Comic Books! I Like Video Games! I'M THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF A MONK!" Lincoln shouted in a panic.
"Are you sure. Today was our weekday off, every Saturday we go on outing!" Brother Grant said.
"Outing?" Lincoln asked.
"Of cores! We go to Dairy Land Amusement Park, Gus's Game N Grub!" Brother Roosevelt explained.
Lincoln's eyes opened wide with excitement as he thought to himself. "I always wanted to go on outings to Dairy Land! and Gus's Game N Grub! But my sisters would let me go. Turns out my brothers "The Monk's" like the same things I like!"
With no further thought Lincoln said "Were do I join!"
The Monk gave Lincoln his own hooded robe and made him an official member of their sect. Lincoln and the other monks all stud outside.
"You know usually in a large family were I come from we have Vanzillia. Just out of curiosity what do we have?" Lincoln asked
"The Monk Bus!" Brother Clinton said
At that moment a large school bus driven by Brother Washington pulled out and everyone border. Lincoln and all his 'Monk' brothers had a great time at Dairy Land, and then they had dinner at Gus's Game and Grub. As Lincoln and all his brothers were eating Lincoln stood up and said. " You know, At first I had My doubts about you, but you guys are way better than my sisters!'
All the monks wondered what Lincoln meant then he said the first word that came to mind.
"The Nuns!"
At That moment all the monks faces turned pail with fear and sheer horror, The Monk's all looked like they have seen ghosts.
"Sister Mary Agnes!" Brother Washington shouted out.
"Who?" Lincoln asked
"Don't you know, She is only the most feared sister in the world." Brother Jefferson said
"There are rumors that she can kill a grown man with her gaze!" Brother Quincy Adams said
"We've all had her as our Catholic School Teacher!" Brother Van Buren said
"I still have nightmares about her to this day!" Brother Hover said
"She made me wet the bed when I was eighteen!" Brother Taft said
As Lincoln looked around at all the monk's and there state in fear he thought to himself, Were any of his sisters this scary? Lori can be scary if aggravated. Well scary to Lincoln, Lucy scared Lincoln on many occasions where she made her presents known out of nowhere. But from what the monk's said those two didn't come close to Sisters Mary Agnes.
Lincoln thought to himself. "Were his sisters really that bad?"
Even though he didn't want to admit it at the time. Even though he was enjoying his time with the Monk's. He was starting to miss his sisters. He may have felt a little homesick. He even began to wonder what they are doing right now."
Meanwhile back in Royal Woods Clyde McBride Lincoln's best friend was out looking for Lincoln but could not find him anywhere.
As he was walking down to Lincolns home address 1216 Franklin Avn. He spotted Luna coming out of the house.
"Hey Clyde have you've seen Lincoln anywhere?" she asked
"I thought he was with you. I haven't seen him all day." Clyde replied.
"Pop's said he was with you. He said you and Bro were working on some project." Luna explained.
"He must have been mistaken. I haven't seen or heard from Lincoln all day." Clyde stated
As the two were talking a man with a Derby a tie suit, and a cane walked by them the same man Lincoln met just before entering the Monetary. Clyde and Luna asked if they have seen Lincoln.
"Excuse me sir, have you've seen Lincoln by any chance?" Clyde asked
"Lincoln I don't know could you describe him for me?" The man asked
"Well he's eleven years old with white hair, He Like's Comic Books, He like's Video Games." Clyde explained
"OH, He's the exact opposite of a monk." Luna stated.
"Hmmm, Well I did see a young boy with white hair matching your description earlier today." The man said
Both Luna's and Clyde's eyes opened wide hope.
"He was asking about the Royal Woods Monastery. Judging by the sound of his vice he was planning on joining the monks." The man replied.
And just like that their hopes were shattered. Must have been some other guy with white hair. The two thought to themselves Lincoln would never go anywhere near a monastery. At that moment Lynn Sr. the father came to the front door and asked. "It's getting, do you know were Lincoln is?"
Both Luna and Clyde looked at each other and shook their heads
"Clyde I thought he was with you. He told me you two were working on a project of some sort." Lynn Sr. explained.
"That is the most peculate thing because not only have I've not seen him all day we are not working on any projects." Clyde explained
Lynn Sr. became suspicious, Lincoln told him this morning that he was going to be with Clyde all day, but when Clyde shown up he said he hasn't seen Lincoln all day. As soon as the rest of the family found out of Lincolns mysterious disappearance 'Minus Lisa' they all started to worry about Lincoln.
After a long fun filled day at Dairy Land and Gus's Game N Grub, The Monk Bus swung back into The Royal Woods monastery. As all the Monks including Lincoln jumped off and ran inside. "That was fun! Was I wrong about you guys!" He shouted with excitement. As he jumped in. "I don't know what to do next, play video games or read comic books." Lincoln said
All the brother pause and looked at each other. The Brother Adams asked.
"What did you think you were planning on doing when you join?"
Lincoln stood still in his tracks. He slowly turned around and asked.
"Don't you guys do anything for fun?"
"Of Course, every Saturday we go on outing just like the one we've took you out on however cloister life is different." Brother Taylor said
"We don't read comic books or play video games." Brother Tyler explained
"We find those as distractions from silent mediation, and oneness with peace and harmony." Brother Nixon said
Lincolns eye open wide and his worst fears were confirmed. No comic books! No video games! While he didn't show it at the time he was a little panicky about the living conditions. Then he remembered three of the words brother Nixon said. "Silent, Peace, and Harmony." In a house with a large family like his ten sisters there was always a loud riotous coming from his sisters. Whether it be Luna playing her guitar with the amps on at full blast, Luan pranking Leni with a fake spider causing her scream. Lynn coming home from winning a huge game cussing a huge riot. The twins Lola and Lana arguing about every little problem. Or Lisa blowing something up all in the name of science. Lincoln thought to himself maybe he would enjoy the peace and quiet, the silences and tranquility of cloister life.
Lincoln returned to his brothers and said. "You know what, I think I'll enjoy the peace and quite here."
All the monks were please with their new brother's choice to stay. Of course Lincoln will soon find out that the cloister life of a monk is not what he had in mind.
As Lincoln and his other brothers went back inside he asked. "Even though you guys don't read any comic books, do you have any reading material of any kind?"
"Of course we have manuscripts dating back to the third century." Brother Truman said.
Brother Johnson lead Brother Lincoln down to the monastery's Library were all sorts of books and records were stored. However as soon as Lincoln opened up one of the books he had no idea what it said. "Et Tu Dominus?" he tried to pronounce.
"Is this book right?" Lincoln asked
"All our books and manuscripts are in Latin." Brother Truman said
"Latin?" Lincoln asked.
"Of course Brother Lincoln, Latin is the official language of cloister life." Brother Truman explained.
Now Lincoln did regret leaving his home. Of course Lincoln spoke English very well, He knew a few word and phrases in Spanish form Ronnie Anne, But Latin was far from this eleven year understanding.
As Lincoln left the monastery's Library. He was summoned by Brother Washington and the rest of the brothers.
"What's Going on?" Lincoln asked asked
"Three to five o'clock. Silent meditation time." Brother Carter said
"Silent Meditation?" Lincoln asked
Escorted by his brothers they went to the chapel of the monastery were they knelt down before the alter of the chapel. Lincoln remember what he thought about peace and quiet away from his sisters. "Well silent meditation is peace and quiet." Lincoln thought quietly to himself as he knelt between two of the monks.
After a few minutes into his so called silent meditation. Lincoln felt very uncomfortable. He felt like something was missing from his life. He also felt board. Within the first ten to fifteen minutes of the silent meditation the one thing that gotten to him was the silent.
"It's too quite!" he thought to himself
Despite over forty monks being in the chapel at the same time. It was very quiet indeed.
"It's so quiet you could hear an ant crawling on the ground. It's so quite you can hear the wind blowing outside. It's so quiet…." Lincoln thought to himself before he blurted out.
"IT'S TOO QUIET!"
"SHEEEEEE!" all the monks in the chapel shushed him.
"Sorry" Lincoln said in embarrassment
Even though He didn't want to admit it at the time. Lincoln really did miss his sisters. He missed Luna's music. He missed Luan's pranks and Jokes. He missed Lola and Lana fighting and fussing over the littles of things. He missed Leni's designing her dresses and making smoothies. He missed Lori's bossiness, and yes he even missed Lynn wrestling with him and giving him a hard time.
As Lincoln had his conflicting thoughts and feelings in the monastery. Back at the Loud House the entire family was worried about Lincoln after it became evident from Clyde that Lincoln was missing. Lori even call up Bobby to see if he had any sight of him.
"Bobby any sing of Lincoln? Keep looking for him." Lori said.
As she was walking around the halls of the upstairs room, she noticed Lisa acting suspiciously.
"Lisa what are you doing?" Lori asked
"Nothing." Lisa replied.
"You've sure have been quiet ever since Lincoln's disappearance. Is there anything you wish to share with me?" Lori asked
Lori could tell by the look on Lisa's face and her behavior that she was hiding something.
"Lisa is there anything you want to share with me?" Lori asked
"Share, what's there to share?" Lisa asked with a worried expression on her face, shifting her eyes left and right in a very worried manner.
Lori took a magnet from fridge downstairs. Stood over Lisa's computer and said. "Tell me what your hiding or I'll place this on your computer!"
Lisa blurted out. "Lincoln's at the Royal Woods Monastery."
After stating this fact Lisa then confessed to the rest of the family. She stated how she overheard Lincoln wishing that he had brothers, and he to him about the so called 'Brothers' at the Royal Woods Monastery. After stating this fact to them all ten of the Loud sisters jumped into Vanzillia and drove off to the Royal Woods Monastery.
Back at that monastery the silences and the boredom finally caught up to Lincoln.
Every time he'd tapped his foot on the floor during the silent mediation. One of the monks "Shhhhhh!" him.
Every time he'd tapped his fingers on the back of the seat during the silent mediation. One of the monks "Shhhhh!" him.
At that moment he started whistling. Yes the white haired eleven year old pressed his lips together and began to whistling in chapel filled with monks trying to meditating in silence.
"SHHHHH" all the monks shushed him in unison.
Lincoln could not stand it anymore. The Shushing, The Silent, It was boring him to out of his mind. At that moment Lincoln jumped up from his seat and shouted. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
All the Monk's stared at him as Lincoln confessed.
"Look, at first I may have loved the idea of peace and quiet! But this is ridicules! I Miss My Home! I Miss My Family! and Yes I have To Confess I MISS MY SISTERS!"
All the monks Looks at Lincoln like he was possessed by a daemon.
"You're not talking about Sister Mary Agnes Are You?" Brother Carter asked.
At that moment the door of the Chapel was kicked open.
"Nope, we're His Sisters!" a voice called out.
All the monks and Lincoln looked back and saw ten girls age ranging from seventeen to one standing at the doorway. Girls Lincoln knew all too well and was never happier to see.
"What are you girls doing here?" Brother Washington asked
"We're Here For Our Brother!" Luna stated
"We're Not Leavening Without Our Linky!" Lola stated
"Oh Go right head then! But I'm warning you, Brother Buchannan and Brother Fillmore Both studied Kung-Fu at the Xiaolin Temple in Tibet!" Brother Jefferson said as Brother Buchannan and Brother Fillmore stepped forward and shown off their Kung-Fu moves.
"I'll Take You Both On! I'm a Black Belt In Both Karate and Tie Quoin Do!" Lynn stated as she shown off her midair double butterfly kick, a skill in martial arts very difficult to master.
"Actually we only use martial arts as a form a mediation. We are a peaceful, nonviolent sect." Brother Fillmore explained as he and Brother Buchannan acquiesced.
"WIMPS!" Lynn taunted the monk's
At that moment Lincoln stepped forth stood before the monks and said. "You Guys! Look I know at first we did have some fun, But I need to confess I'm only eleven years old. Even I think this whole three hours of silent mediation is way too much for my taste. And personally I missed having my sisters around."
After Lincoln said this he walked over to his sisters and they all embraced him in a group huge.
"I will never complain about having sisters again." Lincoln said
All ten of his sister looked at him suspiciously.
"The Nuns." Lincoln said
"He's talking about Sister Many Agnes!" Brother Washington said with dread.
"Believe me you don't want to know." Lincoln said
The eleven sibling drove back home and made it in time for dinner.
As the entire family gathered around the table ready to eat when all of a sudden Lynn Sr. the father came running in a state of panic.
"EVERYONE RUN HIDE SHE'S COMING!" Lynn Sr. shouted out.
"Who's coming?" Rita asked
"MY SISTER IS COMING OVER FOR DINNER!" Lynn shouted in a panic.
"Aunt Shirley?" Lori asked
"NO! MY CATHOLIC SCHOOL SISTER!" Lynn shouted.
At that moment the front door swung open and a grizzled old women in a nun's habit stood at the entrance. "LYNN LOUD!" She roared in a gruff tone
"Sister Mary Agnes!" Lynn stated out loudly.
Yes, the same Sister Mary Agnes the monks warned Lincoln about was also his father's Lynn Loud Sr. catholic school teacher. Lincoln thought the three hours of silent meditation was bad. This was nothing compared to what Sister Mary Agnes was going to put the Eleven Loud Children threw.
For the rest of the night the entire Loud family got a taste of what it was like being under the oppression of a Catholic school Nun. Because if his addiction to video games, and conic books Lincoln would always slouch down in his seat. Sister Mary Agnes would use fear and aggression to get him to sit up straight. Likewise with his sisters. As a nun Sister Mary Agnes was very keen on proper adequate. She literal dragged all ten of the Loud sisters threw an adequate course that was excruciating for Luna, Lynn, and Lana. And even made Lori, Leni, and Lola tremble in fear.
After a night of the visiting nun that made Aunt Ruth's seem like a luxury vacation resort the eleven loud sibling all went to bed and shut themselves in for the night. As they were about to sleep Lincoln thought to himself. "Boy! Am I glad none of my sisters are like Sister Mary Agnes!"
The End.