Good Burger Takes Over the Schneiderverse

by JordanHayes0989

Twenty-one years after the events of the 1997 movie, this once local fast food restaurant is now a multi-national fast food monopoly with franchises all over the world. However, it only has a handful of franchises located in the US. But that is about to change as the establishments that once served as hangouts for many of Dan Schneider's shows close because of the new competition.

3. Scenes 3-5: Good Burger Goes Corporate

Formatting Key: Descriptions are bracketed in [italics], characters' names in bold, dialogue/quotes in plain text.

Good Burger Takes Over the Schneiderverse Chapter 4

Scene 3: Mr. Bailey Makes a Big Announcement

Location: Chicago, Illinois
Date/Time: July 26, 2018 at 9:00 AM
Business/Establishment: Good Burger Corporate Headquarters
Characters Present: Ed (Executive Vice President of Franchise Operations, played by Kel Mitchell), Mr. Bailey (CEO of Good Burger Corporation, played by Dan Schneider), Kurt (assuming a new identity and face after getting plastic surgery, played by Jan Schweiterman), Fizz (Vice President of Marketing Operations, played by Josh Server), Monique (CFO of Good Burger Corporation, played by Shar Jackson), Spatch (Director of Food Quality and Protect Development, played by Ron Lester), various other Good Burger Corporation employees

[Several Good Burger Employees gather in a large conference room for a big meeting inside Good Burger Corporate Headquarters, located in Chicago. The building itself is the same building that once housed Dim Sum Enterprises, the world's largest orange soda manufacturer that was featured in the Kenan & Kel episode "Corporate Kenan" whereas Kenan tries to get rich by getting a mailroom job at a large company but ends up getting the Executive Vice President position because the resumes were switched with another applicant named Reginald Van Buren. It turns out that Mr. Bailey, the CEO of Good Burger Corporation called this meeting because he wanted to make a big announcement that will affect the entire company. Along with various Good Burger corporate employees hired over the last 21 years, several employees who once worked at the original Good Burger are now high-level executives including Fizz (who is now the VP of Marketing Operations), Monique (Dexter's love interest, who is now the company's Chief Financial Officer and Spatch (who is now the Director of Food Quality and Product Development and tests all the food being served at each franchise and is responsible for creating new menu items). Ed, the cashier whose famous sauce put Good Burger on the map is now Executive Vice President of Franchise Operations and unknowingly works with Kurt, who now goes by the name of Chris and has a completely unrecognizable face.]

[Everyone turns to the front doors of the conference room Mr. Bailey walks into the room, approaches the podium and begins to address the company.]

"Can I have everyone's attention? Your attention, please!", says Mr. Bailey as the crowd quiets down, turning all of their attention towards him. "It has been my pleasure to serve as the CEO of Good Burger Corporation for the last 25 years.

Throughout this quarter of a century, Good Burger has served thousands, millions of satisfied customers with quality food, good memories and excellent customer service. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating since not ALL the customers were satisfied", as Mr. Bailey looks at Ed with a wink of his eye. Everybody in the room then turns towards him and laughs, including Mr. Bailey.

"Over the last 25 years, Good Burger has also overcome a lot of struggles and challenges to stay afloat and relevant, especially when Mondo Burger opened up across the street from us, posing a huge threat to put our restaurant out of business."

[Kurt, disguised as "Chris", experiences a feeling of guilt mixed with a touch of anger as he hears this but attempts to hide any facial expressions indicating so. He stands among the crowd, attempting to keep at least a straight but happy and content face.]

"We unfortunately have also lost a few employees along the way, including our very good and loyal friend Otis," remarks Mr. Bailey as he recalls how Otis died in a delivery accident several years ago. A memorial plaque hangs in the main lobby on the first floor of the building, dedicated to Otis' many years of service to Good Burger.

"We will never forget him and what he has done for our restaurant and our company. He has instilled many values in all of us that has made us become better fast food employees and better human beings in general. We will also never forget Dexter as well."

[Dexter, longtime friend of Ed's, is actually not dead but alive and well. However, Dexter left Good Burger before Kurt was mysteriously hired and assisted in taking Good Burger corporate and expand its franchises. It turns out that Dexter opposed this idea and attempted to fight back against the restaurant. However, Dexter ultimately quit Good Burger before they began to expand their footprint by opening new franchises.]

All the Good Burger employees put their hands on their hearts and say unanimously, "To Otis and Dexter."

Mr. Bailey resumes his address by saying "Through these hard times, we have also had many successes over the years. Our decision to take our restaurant corporate has been one of the best decisions Good Burger has ever made. Even though it has met a lot of resistance from many employees and customers, our numbers have proven to be a success. Sales numbers have increased to at least $5 million per year for each of our 22 franchises all over the world. And I've heard that our US expansion is going off quite well. Our newly opened New York location has been the most successful so far out of all our franchises. Lines out the door almost every day, thousands of customers enjoying our new menu and technological advancements including our new ordering system and a projected net profit of $1.2 million for this franchise alone!"

[Everyone in the audience claps and applauds, except for Ed. After hearing about the new ordering system, Ed is quite disappointed that Good Burger had replaced humans with machines, especially when taking orders. Ed felt as though the human element of customer service was the most important of all. Even though he did screw customers' orders most of the time, Ed did look back at his interactions with customers and enjoyed working with them.]

"It is with this success that today I am announcing my retirement as CEO of Good Burger corporation", Mr. Bailey states as the crowd gasps with surprising looks on their faces.

"I know it may seem a little bit early, as I am about 13 years below the retirement age of 65, but I feel now is the right time to step down and pass the torch to someone new and fresh."

[Mr. Bailey himself is 52 years old and was thinking of other commitments and interests he had besides working for Good Burger. He had always had the dream of becoming a big TV and movie producer as well as being in a band. However, he could obviously not be able to do these things will running a major corporation.]

"Effective immediately, I am delegating Fizz as interim CEO while we look to find a replacement. I encourage anyone and everyone in this room to apply for the position, especially those who have a vision for taking this company to the next level."

[Kurt and Ed look at each other as they immediately think of applying to be the next CEO.]

Mr. Bailey ends his speech with: "I trust that I will be leaving this company in good hands with Fizz, and eventually whoever takes over Good Burger Corporation in the future. Good day and Good Burger!"

[Everyone shouts "Good Burger" as Mr. Bailey leaves the podium and Fizz walks to the podium and accepts his new position].

"Personally, I would like to thank you, Mr. Bailey along with the rest of my fellow co-workers. You have all taught me everything about the fast food business and the restaurant industry. Most importantly, you have given me a shot to do this. When I first met you as a cashier, you took me under your wing and welcomed me into the Good Burger family. Well, now it's my responsibility to lead the company in the short term but as Mr. Bailey said, I encourage each and every one of you to apply to be the next CEO. I along with Monique will be interviewing everyone who applies, and will be looking forward to meeting the next leader of our great corporation!"

Ed, who still has a quirky personality but has matured a bit since we last saw him 21 years ago says in his signature surf-dude voice: "Whoa, Mr. Bailey is leaving Good Burger? How can this be happening? Why was I not named interim CEO? Why Fizz?" Ed starts running around the room, freaking out while Fizz, Monique and the rest of the Good burger employees attempt to calm him down. Mr. Bailey himself comes back into the room after leaving for a bit, but then quickly dashed in after hearing the ruckus. He yells "Ed!" and asks him what in the world is going on.

"Whoa, why was I not named interim CEO? I've been at this company long enough and I know what's best for Good Burger. How could you do this?" Ed says as his boss attempts to comfort him and explain his decision. "I've been doing this for at least twenty years and I think with the changing times, I think it's time that someone else take the reigns and drive this company in a completely new direction. In fact, I think you could be a qualified candidate for the new CEO position. Even though I gave the position to Fizz, I only made this decision to be temporary and, as I said in my speech, would encourage anybody to apply. This includes you!"

[Ed smiles and asks if he would really be qualified to run the company going forward. Mr. Bailey nods, smiles and back and says yes.

Even though the two have been at odds after Ed has screwed up from time to time, Mr. Bailey believes that Ed has a good heart and knows what is best for the company moving forward.

Ed, however is puzzled still as to why his boss has suddenly taken this leave of absence, especially because he is still young and has not yet reached the retirement age of 65.

It could be because he wants to become a famous television producer, wants to make music full time. Or maybe someone else in the company is pulling the strings behind everyone's back? Maybe an employee who used to work for a rival business who wants to take over Good Burger for good?

Kurt, now as "Chris" rings a bell. After all, "Chris" was the one who had the idea to take Good Burger corporate in the first place 15 years ago. It was suspicious that "Chris" immediately darted out of the room after Fizz encouraged everyone in the company to apply. He was off to immediately begin plotting a plan to be the next CEO.

Dilligently working in his office, Kurt puts together a compelling resume and cover letter, while also contacting his former Mondo Burger cohorts to try to create a smear campaign against Ed, hoping to keep him out of the CEO seat.]

Scene 4: Good Burger Goes Corporate (Flashback)

Location: Various locations
Date/Time: July 25, 1998 at 12:00 PM
Business/Establishment: Original Good Burger restaurant
Characters Present: Ed (cashier, played by Kel Mitchell), Dexter (Ed's co-worker and friend, played by Kenan Thompson), Mr. Bailey (Manager of Good Burger, played by Dan Schneider), Kurt (manager of Mondo Burger, played by Jan Schweiterman), Fizz (Ed and Dexter's co-worker, played by Josh Server), Monique (Ed and Dexter's co-worker and Dexter's love interest, played by Shar Jackson), Spatch (cook/chef, played by Ron Lester), various Good Burger customers

[A few days before, Kurt and his former Mondo Burger Goons have formulated a plan to escape from prison. During a lunch break when all inmates gathered in the cafeteria, Kurt set a plan in motion to overpower the guards, take them hostage, make their way into the control room and open the outside gates. When that plan didn't work, they end up distracting the guards by choreographing a dance number similar to the way Dexter and Ed escaped from Demented Hills. During the dance number, Kurt managed to grab the keys to the control room again, take all the guards hostage and opened the service gate, from which they escaped. Kurt immediately changed his name to "Chris" and gets rid of anything related to his past history to cover his tracks and assume a completely new identity. He also got plastic surgery to obtain a brand new face. Kurt applied and interviewed for a new assistant manager position and is hired on the spot. Kurt seems very knowledgeable about opening new restaurant franchises. He now works with Mr. Bailey and the rest of the Good Burger employees to open new locations across the U.S.]

[Meanwhile, Good Burger became more of a success, attracting thousands of new customers from all over the country and all around the world. After news about Ed and Dexter's brave and heroic deeds spread across the United States, Europe and Asia, customers from miles away would literally show up at the restaurant in droves to get their hands on the restaurant's now world-famous burgers and Ed's secret sauce. ]

Outside the restaurant, a long line of customers stretches outside the road for several blocks. Inside Good Burger, the employees are trying to manage a madhouse as customers crowd the interior, Ed and Fizz take orders and the kitchen staff prepare the food. They even had to hire two more cooks to assist Spatch with making the orders faster and more efficiently.]

One customer comes up to the counter and is about to order. Ed says his signature line: "Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Can I take your order?" The customer then says: "Yes, I would like two Good Burgers with extra sauce. Forget the pickles, please and throw out the cheese." Ed then replies: "One Good Burger, extra sauce. No pickles and throw out the cheese."

The customer then tries to clarify the errors in Ed's readback of his order, saying: "You dimwit, I said I wanted TWO! NOT ONE!" Ed says: "You wanted to what?" The customer says: "TWO GOOD BURGERS! You said ONE!" The kitchen staff delivers the customer's order, with only ONE Good Burger containing extra sauce along with pickles and a disgusting piece of cheese with trash laden all over it, implying that Spatch and the cooks literally threw out the piece of cheese in the trash and served it with the customer's Good Burger.

"What is this?", the customer angrily shouts. Ed says, "Well you asked us to throw out the cheese. So we had Spatch throw it out in the trash for you." The customer says, "No, you simpleton idiot! I said I wanted NO Cheese! Plus, I asked for NO Pickles on this Good Burger. Clearly I see the pickles." Ed says, "That'll be 8 bucks. How will you be paying me?" The customer says, "I ain't paying you a dime for this disgusting piece of trash that you call a Good Burger!" The customer storms out of the restaurant while the other customers look onward.

One of the other customers says: "Oh, this is hopeless. We came all the way out here from Nebraska for THIS? We drove over 1,000 miles and we've been waiting in line for over 2 hours! How many orders can this guy screw up?" This particular customer waits his turn for about 30 more minutes and eventually approaches the front counter to be waited on. Ed reiterates his signature line again and the customer places his order. "Yes, I would like to try the new Angus Beef Hero Burger. The newest menu item to commemorate the one year anniversary of the destruction of Mondo Burger! Hold the mustard and the onions, please.

The sign says these burgers are half off!" Ed says, "One Angus Beef Hero Burger. 50% off." Ed and the customer wait for the burger to be ready. As soon as it arrives, Ed takes the burger and literally cuts it in half. The customer asks what Ed is doing. After he states that the price of the burger is the usual $8, Ed says "Well, you said you wanted the burger half off." The customer, now very angry and confused, says "No, you disease-minded Neanderthal! I meant the price of the burger is half off. Instead of $2.50, I pay $1.25! Not $8 by the way!

You just don't get it, do you? My wife and drove all the way from Texas just to get our hands on the one and only Good Burger. We've been looking forward to this our whole lives! And the last thing we wanted is a screwed-up order." By this point, Ed has screwed up the majority of the customers' orders with many more waiting outside. The other employees take notice. Unfortunately, Mr. Bailey is out of town so Kurt stepped in assistant manager who happened to take notice as well.

He steps out of his office and asks Ed what in the world is possibly going on. Ed says, "I'm doing my best but I don't understand some of these orders. One asked for us to throw out the cheese, so I told Spatch to throw the cheese in the garbage. And then this last customer asked for his burger to be half off, so I just cut it in half." Kurt then replies, "Ed, I think it's time for you to take a break from counter duty for a while. Just let me, Fizz and Monique take care of the orders. You go back into kitchen and keep making more sauce! Apparently, that seems to be the ONLY thing you are good at these days." Ed, with a sad but optimistic look on his face, leaves the counter. After telling Mr. Bailey, "Yes, sir. It shall be done," Ed heads back into the kitchen and prepares some more of his secret sauce.

[The rest of the customers move through the restaurant without incident with their orders satisfactorily fulfilled. After closing, Kurt calls Ed and the rest of the employees together to debrief after a very successful day of business.]

"Today was our most profitable day yet! Did you see how far away the customers came from? Thousands of them came from over hundreds of miles, across the country and around the world just to get a taste of Good Burger!" Kurt exclaims this good news to the employees. "That got me thinking. Since all of these customers have made the trouble of traveling all this way to come to Good Burger, why don't we bring Good Burger closer to them?"

Dexter, out of nowhere, comes out to ask, "What are you implying, exactly?" Kurt responds with, "Why doesn't Good Burger expand its footprint by opening new locations at locations all across the country where more customers can reach us without having to travel thousands of miles to get their hands on a Good Burger with Ed's secret sauce? That way, we get our name out to more customers while also making it more convenient for customers to access our business."

Ed, Fizz, Monique, Spatch, Otis and Deedee love this idea while Dexter is more skeptical than ever. He says, "Doing this will hurt our business In the long run. Once we start expanding our franchises, then we will become greedy and focus on making money instead of taking care of the food, our customers and our core values. And what about the other local fast food restaurants that we may be putting out of business? This is exactly what Mondo Burger was trying to do exactly one year ago, do do you not remember that? When I worked there prior to coming to Good Burger, Kurt said that their goal was to become the largest burger chain in the entire world.

And how did they try to get there? By using illegal chemicals to grow their burgers to enormous sizes, employing a woman named Roxanne to seduce the sauce recipe out of Ed, and putting me, Otis and Ed in a mental institution to try and keep us quiet. Not to mention that terrible shark poison that they put in the sauce! Mondo Burger tried every attempt to eliminate their biggest competitor from their road to corporate greed. And do you know who that big, threatening competitor was? GOOD BURGER!

Fortunately, Ed and I were able to destroy Mondo Burger and save our restaurant in time. But do you want that to happen to us?" After Dexter concludes, the rest of the employees silently stand around him, quietly reflecting on everything Dexter just said. But then, Kurt with a hidden rage of anger inside of him, responds with, "I agree with you. You're right. However, I still think that opening new restaurants is our only way forward. It is the only way to carry Good Burger into the future!"

Dexter snaps by saying, "Fine! If you don't want to listen to me now, I get it. But mark my words, this move will spell disaster for everyone at Good Burger: both present and future generations! You'll thank me for this one day!" Dexter now begins to get angry as he storms through the restaurant, knocking down and breaking almost everything in sight. "You know what? I've had it with Good Burger! It's not just this latest move.

For the past year, I feel like I've been treated like s**t. Deliveries are hard to come by and I'm not valued enough." Kurt firmly puts his foot down and says, "That's it. Dexter, you're fired!" Dexter storms out of the building and says, "You can't fire me! I QUIT!" All the other employees just stare in awe in light of what just happened. Ed begins to cry and runs after Dexter.

The original Good Burger location closes and is sold to make enough money to expand remote franchises. Between 1998 and 2001, at least 10 GB franchises open in and around the Midwestern and Southern United States, primarily in Arizona, Nevada, Texas, Louisiana, Tennessee, Indiana and Ohio. The success and operation of these franchises require management from a centralized entity, requiring Good Burger to become a corporation.

Dim Sum Enterprises, the world's largest orange soda manufacturer declares bankruptcy and goes out of business in 2001. Good Burger offers to buy their building in downtown Chicago and set up their corporate offices there. Mr. Bailey becomes the company's first and only CEO of the new Good Burger Corporation.]

Scene 5: Good Burger Announces Mr. Bailey's Replacement

Location: Chicago, Illinois
Date/Time: August 1, 2018 at 4:00 AM
Business/Establishment: Good Burger Corporate Headquarters
Characters Present: Ed (Executive Vice President of Franchise Operations, played by Kel Mitchell), Kurt (assuming a new identity and face after getting plastic surgery, played by Jan Schweiterman), Fizz (Vice President of Marketing Operations, played by Josh Server)

[Back in the present day, Kurt and Ed apply and interview for the CEO position. Both employees make convincing arguments for why they would be the best candidate for the job.]

Kurt is interviewed first. Fizz asks him directly, "where do you envision this company to be in the next 5 years? Wait, not even the next 5 years. What about the next year?" Kurt responds with, "Well, I think our company will have an even larger customer base in the next year alone. I envision Good Burger opening up at least 5 more franchises across the country and all over the world. Good Burger has yet to open a franchise in any major metropolitan area.

There are no Good Burgers in Los Angeles, Seattle, Orlando, Baltimore, Dallas, Cleveland. Before our New York franchise opened, which, by the way has had the most success and profits EVER in our history, all of our franchises have been in small, remote towns that most people haven't even heard of before. I mean, besides the people who live there, who's ever heard of Dripping Springs, Texas?" Fizz asks why Kurt should be the next CEO, where he responds, "Look! I was the one who had the business knowledge and savvy to get you these franchises in the first place! Without me, you guys would have been stuck in California with no franchises while all your little customers still traveling thousands of miles to get their hands on a Good Burger! I had the business skills to take you guys to the next level. I mean, look at what's happening in New York. I was the one who suggested that we put a franchise in the Big Apple in the first place. My connections with brokers, contractors and consultants there made it all possible! And as I said, the place is packed every single night! We're making at least $1 million a week off of that thing. And so, if I am hired as the next CEO, I can continue to make more waves and put Good Burger on the map in other major cities. I'm sure the same thing will happen."

Ed goes next and his interview is a little bit more toned down. Fizz says, "I know you've worked here a long time. But please tell me, Ed, why do you think you would be the best candidate for CEO of Good Burger Corporation?" Ed comes out and says, "Look, I know I've had to work my way up to my Executive Vice President of Franchise operations position that I have right now. Yes, I've screwed up multiple orders and have made a lot of customers very angry, but I have learned over the years. And don't forget, it was my sauce that put Good Burger back on the map and was the main reason Mondo Burger was jealous of us. They couldn't believe how much Good Burger was pulling all of the business away from them, they tried all these crazy things like hiring Roxanne, putting Dexter and I in that weird place and putting that terrible poison in my sauce. But in the end, Dexter and I got even with them and made them the victim of their own foul play. I used their illegal Triampathol to expand the burgers. Now, if I can come up with more innovative ideas like that, I know that Good Burger will become better than it ever has been. And don't forget all these places we have expanded to. I mean, our New York franchise is the best it's ever been. My two best friends, Scooter and Fred (who I know is just like me) work there and they absolutely love it there. They've never seen as many customers in their whole lives, and they tell me that the customers love their experience eating at Good Burger."

After making a tough decision, Fizz calls a meeting in front of the entire company and announces that Kurt is the new permanent CEO of Good Burger Corporation.

[The night before Mr. Fizz's announcement, we find out that Ed apparently leaked the secret sauce recipe via social media, allowing competing businesses to access and steal the secret sauce recipe. This creates a scandalous frenzy across local and national news media, sending waves throughout the restaurant industry. Kurt immediately fires Ed after taking over as CEO on the grounds of violation of company policy, and Ed is sent packing.]

Ed goes back into his office and packs up his stuff, looking around at all his momentos one last time. As soon as he walks out the front door of the building, coincidentally the Game Shakers, who have traveled from New York Chicago, pass by him as they drive down the same street as Good Burger Corporate Headquarters. They turn around and approach him.

Trip yells "Dad" but Ed responds with "Please don't talk to me. I'm very upset. I've just been fired from the best job in the world that I have been working at for the past 25 years and people are saying I've leaked my secret sauce. I know I screw up things at times, but I know I did not do that!" Trip tried to convince Ed that he is his father, Double G. "I'm your son. Grover "Triple G" Griffin. You're a big rap superstar back in New York. Remember?"

Bunny and Ruthless say hi to Ed as well, trying to refresh his memory. Then try doing something funny that Double G always hated them doing. For example, Bunny takes his smelly socks and shoes off like he did on the Season 1 episode "Lost on the Subway", while Ruthless reveals that he stole the eyeball of Former President Ronald Reagan. However, these attempts fail and Ed just ignores them.

He does not speak a word to Babe, Kenzie and Hudson, who shout "Dub! Double G! It's us, the Game Shakers! You're our business partner! Remember? We stole your song and put it in our Sky Whale Game?" Ed says, "Oh? A game? We're going to play a game right now?" Babe and Kenzie say "Sure. Let's see if you can guess who you are. I'll say a word and you tell us the first thing that comes to your mind. Helicopter." Ed says, "flying." Babe then goes, "Drop That" and then Ed says "What?" Babe says, "there you go! That's the song that we used in your game? Ed corrects her and says "Uh, no? I just said what because I didn't understand what you were trying to say." Babe and Kenzie then say it's hopeless and Ed walks away, trying to figure out his next move in life.

Trip, Babe and Kenzie tell Ruthless, who is driving the car, to follow Ed. They secretly follow him as he walks down the street to a bus station and purchases a ticket. This begins somewhat of a "spy mission" for the Game Shakers as they track Kel's multiple characters as he begins a transformative journey to rediscover himself.

Meanwhile, back at Good Burger Corporate Headquarters, Kurt and the rest of the company begin planning their next acquisition. Their first task is to find a suitable location where they think the next franchise will do best in. Kurt ends up doing some research and finds a unique burger joint in Los Angeles where the waiters are robots and all customers order through a Pear Pad at their table. In addition, the interior looks modern and futuristic and the business has had success throughout the years. However, Kurt finds that business has drastically declined since five local customers: a blonde and red-headed teenage girl, a prepubescent boy with really nice black, curly hair, a local MMA fighter and a ginger grandmother who lives in a certain home for the Elderly have stopped eating to this restaurant.

Kurt says, "Bingo" and suggests this place as the perfect spot to target next. Fizz asks, "what is the name of this restaurant?" Kurt says, "Bots. The place got its name because is literally run by robots, who serve the food and interact with the customers." Fizz says, "perfect" and begins to work with Kurt and the rest of the company to open the next Good Burger franchise in Los Angeles across the street from Bots.