Formatting Key: Descriptions are bracketed in [italics], characters' names in bold, dialogue/quotes in plain text.
Good Burger Takes Over the Schneiderverse Chapter 5
Scene 6: Sam is Late for Work
Location: Los Angeles, California
Date/Time: August 2, 2018 at 11:00 AM
Building/Landmark: Sam & Cat's Apartment 22, Tubba Chicken Restaurant Characters Present: Sam Puckett (played by Jennette McCurdy),Bob (Manager of Tubba Chicken), various Tubba Chicken customers and employees
[In her bedroom, Sam is still asleep when she hears a loud knock on the apartment door. After hearing several knocks, Sam, still in her pajamas, gets up to answer the door. It's the building manager demanding rent that is now several months past due.
Sam tries to hide in the closet, but now that tactic won't work since she is the only one left in her apartment. Cat moved out about 4 years ago after graduating Hollywood Arts High School and leaving for college in the fall. About a month or so before she left for college, Cat returned from Phoenix, AZ where she spent two weeks in jail after tearing the hair off of Jett Zander, suspecting that he was wearing a wig to win the cover of a Teen Hair Model magazine that Dice was participating in. Dice is now a sophomore in high school and spends the summer as the manager of his friend Goomer, who is now a nationally known MMA fighter and competes in fighting tournaments all over the country. It turns out that Goomer is currently competing in a big UFC fight in Salt Lake City, Utah and Dice went with him, so they are not currently in LA. Cat's grandmother Nona is now 4 years older and still lives at Elderly Acres. Unlike last time, when Nona was with Sam while Cat and Dice were in Phoenix, Sam has the place all to herself and can't use anyone else to cover for her this time.]
The building manager says: "Open up, Puckett! I know you're in there!" After several knocks, Sam eventually realizes she has nowhere else to run and hide to and gives u, comes out of the closet and opens the door.
"I want my rent money, and I want it now!", says the building manager. "You are now several months past due, and now that your roommate Cat is no longer living here, you are responsible for the FULL rent amount of $2,100 each month! 3 months times $2,100 now equals $6,300. And you still keep paying me with that fake money from that once popular board game. But I know your tricks and you can't outsmart me. Time's up, Puckett. I want my money. Give it here, pay up."
Sam then tries a way to weasel her way out of this one, first by saying: "Dang, I would have thought that fake Monopoly money would have fooled anyone. But look, the truth is I don't have the money right now to pay the rent, because somebody robbed me a few days ago and took off with all my cash. But once I earn more money from babysitting and my job, I will be sure to give it to you by the end of the month. The building manager says, "Nope. I want it now. No more playing around. Either you give me the rent money or I will forced to throw you out and kick you to the curb."
[Sam, thinking about her past employment experiences, really needs to keep this job because she needs the money so she needs to quickly think of way to get out of this situation. However, at this very moment, her boss, the manager of Tubba Chicken, calls Sam on her phone. She realizes she is late for her 10:00 AM shift. Sam has been working there ever since graduating. Although she did not graduate from Ridgeway High School like her friends Carly and Freddie because she was in LA, she did graduate from her online school, just making it into the Class of 2014 with a barely passing final average. Sam decided not to go to college after realizing it would be too much work to pursue any kind of degree and figured now that school was over, she could spend the rest of life relaxing, slacking off and doing pretty much nothing else with her life. However, Sam realized that life does have a purpose and decided to get a job doing what she loved: being around her favorite food. ]
Bob, the manager, screams into the phone: "You're an hour late! What's keeping you, Puckett?" Sam says: "Yeah, I have been held up by the building manager of my apartment. He is literally not letting me go until I pay it all." Bob then says: "Come on! Do you really think I'm going to fall for that one? You get your lazy butt down here within the next 20 minutes or you're fired!"
Realizing that this situation lays on her hands, Sam says to the building manager to look outside. "Hey look, a gang of thugs is beating up a young kid!" The building manager looks away for one second, but spots nothing. Sam them overpowers him, kicking his right foot and then pushing him out of the way. Sam then darts out the door, escaping from the building manager as he yells, "Puckett, get back here! This isn't over! You're not getting away with this!" Sam, as she hops on her motorcycle, taunts the building manager and says, "Ha ha! Take that, you little Skazz Bag!" Meanwhile, the building manager changes the lock on the door to the apartment and posts a 30-day eviction notice. Sam travels the streets of Los Angeles like a speeding bullet, barely arriving into work on time with just 25 seconds to go.
[The actual restaurant is very small , almost the size of one McDonald's, Burger King or KFC restaurant. The building is located right across the street from Bots, a once-popular hangout where Sam, Cat, Dice, Goomer and Nona frequently visited 4 years ago. Today, a handful of customers visit both places, with Tubba Chicken usually averaging 10 customers per day. It gets very lonely and the employees also get bored.]
"There you are, Puckett", Bob says. "You're just on time." Sam says, "Yeah, yeah. What am I supposed to do today?" Bob says, "for starters, you can start by cleaning the restrooms. Both the men's and women's." Sam says, "Ew, gross, I'm not cleaning the men's room again." She remembers one time working at a chili restaurant in Seattle and had to clean the men's room there, which she recalls was not fun. She ended up quitting after a customer came in with $526, enough to pay her friends Carly and Freddie back. Now, she suddenly finds herself in the same situation. Bob says, "Go. Now!" and Sam complies. After spending about 2 hours cleaning both restrooms, Sam washes her hands and returns to the kitchen, where she is one of the short order cooks who prepares the customers' orders. This is a dream come true for her, as she yells "Finally! All of that greasy, fried goodness, here comes Mama", she says as she darts into the kitchen and takes her position. Occasionally, she makes a few personal chicken pucks just for herself, without anyone else knowing.
"Order up", says one the cashiers in front. A big order of ten five-piece meals comes in, and Sam is prepared. She prepares the food as fast as she can, knowing how to operate the fryer and getting the job done very efficiently. Sam, even though she still has a laid-back yet aggressive personality, has matured over the last 4 years. This is mostly from her experience as a solo babysitter after Cat left. The experience of looking after kids with her best friend and fellow babysitter gone has truly taught Sam to become a better person and empathize with others. She has also learned to perform tasks more efficiently as she is the only one to take care of the house now that Cat is no longer around. Sam also realizes how much she misses Cat, no matter how quirky, not as intelligent or over-the-top she may be.
At this time, Bob approaches the counter and calls the cooks to the front of the restaurant and makes an announcement. "I'm very proud of all of you and the work that you do here. Well, maybe not all the time" as he looks at Sam. "But unfortunately, I have some really bad news. Looks like we're closing this joint next week. I'm sorry, but with the low amount of customers here, our numbers are not cutting it. It seems as though Puckett is really the only one who seems to enjoy it here. In fact, the reason why this place has any customers is because they're all Puckett's friends."
Sam says, "And why wouldn't they? The chicken here is soooo good, it's like tasting fried heaven in a bucket." The remaining customers agree with Sam, saying "yea-hah" in unison.
"Besides, there's another company who has put in an offer to buy this place. They say they can turn this dump into something that will attract a lot more customers and provide a ton more business in the long run."
The employees are now panicking because now they quickly realize they will be out of a job. This includes Sam as well. Bob approaches her and says, "Look, kid. Even though I may be mean and harsh on you at times, I want to honestly say how valuable you are as a member of our Tubba Chicken team. I mean, your work on the fryers is genius!" Sam replies, "Yeah, I do what I can. I just love working in a place where I surrounded by my favorite food every day. I mean, who can resist your wonderful chicken strips, chicken pucks and chili biscuits?" Bob smiles and Sam and hugs her, saying he will truly miss her. Then, the two go back to work.
Scene 7: Tragedy on Fast Food Boulevard
Location: Los Angeles, California
Date/Time: August 2, 2018 at 1:00 PM
Building/Landmark: Elderly Acres
Characters Present: Nona (played by Maree Cheatham), Bob (Nona's fellow resident at Elderly Acres who can drive a motorcycle), Building Manager, various residents at Elderly Acres
{It's just a typical day at Elderly Acres, where the residents are playing all types of games including Bingo and cards. Also, everyone has unusually colored hair as they all dyed their hair at a station called "Everybody Dyes". Nona has a concerned look on her face, as she has a doctor's appointment on the other side of town and can't get a ride since Cat is no longer home, Sam is working, Dice and Goomer are in Utah and Nona refuses to take a bus or taxi because they are disgusting.]
Nona asks to various residents, "Can you give me a ride to my doctor's appointment?" Most of them say, "no, I'm stuck here because I can't drive a car." One resident even said, "my eyesight's so bad I can't even see a thing! If you let me drive, then we'd all be dead." Nona starts to panic and runs around the dining room, saying "Hello! Doesn't anyone realize I am panicking here? I am already going to be 15 minutes late for my doctor's appointment and no one seems to help me out!"
At this point, another resident, named Bill walks into the room. This man happens to drive a motorcycle and gave Cat a ride to Bots 4 years ago when both of them took Sam's motorcycle to Bots and it ended up missing. It turns out that this same guy was able to afford a motorcycle of his own about 3 years ago and now offers to take residents wherever they want to go.
"Calm down, Nona", he says. "What doctor are you going to see?" Nona replies, "Dr. Stanky at the Beverly Hills Medical Center." Bill replies, "Hey, how about that? I'm going there too. I happen to see another doctor in that same building. I'd be happy to give you a ride there." Nona says, "oh, thank you! Thank you so very much!" and then walks out with him as they board the motorcycle and head to Dr. Stanky's office.
{Coincidentally, it turns out that their route to Beverly Hills Medical Center takes them on the same street where Bots, Tubba Chicken and Inside Out Burger are located. By the time Nona and Bill are riding down this street, the motorcycle is making some violent sounds]
Nona asks, "what in the whoozit is possibly going on?" Bill replies, "It's the gas. We're on empty. I don't think we can make it." Nona says, "oh, dang it all" as she and Bill are just a few short blocks from a busy 4-way intersection near Bots and Tubba Chicken. The motorcycle suddenly roars, slows down and stops right in the middle of the intersection as it finally runs out of gas.
[At the same time, a garbage truck is racing down the intersecting street, only just about 5 blocks away. This truck happens to be the same one that Sam saw Cat being dumped into 5 years ago when the two met each other in Los Angeles. Sam attempted to rescue Cat from the garbage truck and saved her life.
After that, the two went back to the apartment where Sam lives now and became friends after an interesting, yet bizarre babysitting experience. It was then that they decided to start their own babysitting business, notably called Sam & Cat's Super Rockin' Fun Time Babysitting Service.
Together, the two of them babysat a colorful variety of kids who sometimes got into crazy situations but always loved their experiences with Sam and Cat. One time, Sam and Cat even made a bet with this one set of kids to see who was the best babysitter in order to determine who should get the big bedroom, but the youngest of the three kids said that it shouldn't matter whether one particular girl was the best. Both of them together as a team created quite an awesome experience for the kids they cared for. Despite this, Sam still continues babysitting new kids on her own while not working at Tubba Chicken, although the experience is not as fun for them as it used to be when Cat was around. Therefore, parents have taken notice and have paid Sam less money.
Back at the intersection, the garbage truck driver notices the motorcycle in the middle of the intersection and tries to slow down. He honks at Nona and Bill as they struggle to get out of the motorcycle. "Come on, let's go before we all become roadkill", says Nona. Bill, still struggling, says "hold your horses! You know I'm not as fast as I used to be, especially with this failing hip." The driver of the garbage truck slams on his brakes as he quickly gets closer to the intersection, but is too late. He violently crashes into the motorcycle, just as Nona and Bill climb off of it. They are crushed under the truck.
The sound of the crash between the garbage truck and motorcycle was so loud that everyone of the street could hear it, including the customers and employees inside both Tubba Chicken and Bots. Sam, Bob, and everyone inside gasps and wonders what had just happened.
"What the fudge is going on out there?", Sam says as she darts out of the kitchen along with Bob and the other customers. She sees police cars, ambulances and fire/rescue trucks darting down the street to the scene of the accident. When the police cruisers pass, Sam says "oh, no, please don't come after me" but then notices the crash site first hand as blood, pieces of metal and parts of the truck and motorcycle and scattered all over the road. Sam realizes something really big just happened. "Gosh, this must have been one heck of a crash. I wonder who it was" Firefighters on scene have struggled to push the truck off of Nona and Bill, but finally succeed as Sam notices Nona as one of the crash victims. "Oh my God. Nona! Nona, are you all right?, yells Sam as she is now concerned about her best friend's grandmother's health as well as her own selfish needs. "What happened?" Nona says, weakly: "Sam? Is that you?" The paramedics put Nona onto a stretcher and prepare to transport her to the hospital as Sam says, "Yes, Nona. I'm here." One of the paramedics asks if Sam knows Nona. Sam responds with, "yes, she's my roommate's grandmother." "Do you mind coming down to the hospital to be with her?" Sam says, "Well, I'm in the middle of work. I can't just abandon my post here." Bob, who was standing on the corner watching this all unfold, says "Go. This woman seems to be an important person in your life. Be with her and tend to her needs." Sam agrees to go in the ambulance, which takes Nona to Peter Sinai Hospital. Another ambulance takes Bill to the same hospital. On the way there, Sam reaches into her phone and texts Cat. Before contacting Cat, however, Sam says to herself, "Well, now that Nona's going to the hospital, what am I going to do? I mean, who else is going to come over tonight to make me dinner, do my laundry or help me babysit?"
Scene 8: Oh No! What Has Happened to My Nona?
Location: London, England, UK and Los Angeles, California
Date/Time: August 2, 2018 at 1:30 PM
Building/Landmark: Peter Sinai Hospital, Wembley Stadium
Characters Present: Sam Puckett (played by Jennette McCurdy), Cat Valentine (played by Ariana Grande), Nona (played by Maree Cheatham), Dr. Wyndham, various doctors, nurses and hospital staff, paramedics
[Cat Valentine is now a world-famous and successful singer, with 5 Top-40 smash hits which are constantly heard on radio stations all over the world. After graduating from Hollywood Arts High School with her friends Tori, Andre, Robbie, Beck and Jade, Cat decided to apply to the Bandier Program at Syracuse University, one of the most prestigious music industry programs in the entire country where she continued perfecting her artistic craft while also learning all the ins and outs of the recording industry. She is just about to conclude her first world tour with her last stop at Wembley Stadium in London, England. Cat is about to perform the final song of the night that she wrote herself called "I Would Like To Thank the World."]
"I would like to thank each and every one of you who stood behind me, supported myself and my music, bought, downloaded and streamed all my songs, listened to me on every station, came to a show, and just became a fan. Without each and every one of you, I wouldn't have been where I am today. So it's only appropriate that I close with this last song that has touched my heart and really symbolizes what your support and dedication really means to me, and how I have been truly influenced and changed by everything that you have done for me", Cat says as she addresses the crowd one final time. The concertgoers scream and applaud for her wildly as she begins to pick up the mic and start performing the song.
As Cat belts out the final chorus of the song with the following lyrics: "I started with nothing, but gave it my all/And I responded to my destiny's call/It is now that I steer the ship/I am the one who never quit/I am here now, standing for myself/no one but I, not anyone else/Heroic woman, no longer a girl/And I would like to thank the world."
[The audience applauds once more as she bows to them and exits. Backstage, fans have showered her with gifts of appreciation, among them, coincidentally enough, cans of her favorite snack Bibble. As she begins to open the cans, she notices the text on her phone from Sam, which reads:
NONA INVOLVED IN SERIOUS ACCIDENT. ON OUR WAY TO PETER SINAI HOSPITAL. SEVERE INJURIES. NOT LOOKING GOOD AT ALL. PLEASE CALL ASAP.
Cat, who hasn't talked to her friend Sam in at least 4 years, is now concerned. She wonders what has happened to her beloved grandmother and immediately calls Sam. Back in Los Angeles, Sam and Nona have already arrived at the hospital. ]
Sam answers, "Hello? Oh, it's you, Cat! Thank God!" Cat forgets the fact that she hasn't talked to Sam in 4 years and asks her: "Oh, God, Sam! I got your text! What happened to my Nona? Please tell me she's going to be alright." Sam begins to tell Cat about the accident: "She was riding in the back of a motorcycle, not my motorcycle by the way, and then she got hit by a garbage truck. the same garbage truck that you and I fell into The first day we met, remember?
Cat says she remembers and then tells Sam: "Oh my God! Do you know who took her on the motorcycle?" Sam says she couldn't tell. Cat asked, "where did this happen?" and Sam told her: "it happened just on the street where I was working at Tubba Chicken. Did I tell you that I got a job there working the fryers?"Cat says: "No way! I hope you don't eat too much of that fried chicken, though. You remember the last time you ate too much of that stuff? It screwed with your head." Cat is recalling the time when she wanted to teach a lesson to Sam about eating too much Tubba Chicken by playing a trick on her using two twin boys they were babysitting. "That's only because of the trick you played with those twin boys, remember!" Cat says, "That's true, but I got you so good! I felt relieved by the fact that you became the victim of your own game." Sam snapped back and said, "But then I also got you back by playing the twin game on you with my twin sister Melanie. And you got it even worse!" Cat recalled, "Yes, I freaked out when your so-called evil twin attacked me and then kissed me right on the lips at Bots. Then you made me do that horrible stuff with the dirty sock water and ram's horn to cure my twinfection! And it was all for nothing!" The main point of Cat saying this was to tell Sam that although she fell for her trick, she had hoped that Sam learned something from the trick that she pulled.
Sam said, "Yeah and what's your point?" Cat says, "Well, even though you we both got big laughs out of tricking each other that day, I am really hoping that you learned something from all this, that is not healthy for you to be eating that Tubba Trouble all day and everyday." Sam goes, sarcastically, "Oh, yeah. I've learned a lot." Back to a normal, yet stern voice, Sam adds, "Look, I have been eating that chicken everyday for the past 4 years since you left for college, and nothing bad has happened to Mama yet. I'm still standing. I haven't keeled over yet." Cat, even though she hasn't seen Sam in a while, is genuinely concerned for her her friend's health just like she is with her Nona. But then, a voice comes over the PA system at the Emergency Room, saying "Paging Dr. Carrington. Assistance needed in Room 222 for Patient Nona Valentine." This prompts Cat to go back on topic and say: "Look. My tour just ended. I am flying back to Los Angeles tonight to be with my Nona. She needs me and I want to see for myself that she is OK." Sam, excited to finally reconnect with her friend, is excited with joy to hear this news while also still getting over the shock about Nona's accident. "You're really coming to LA? Sam says. "Yep. I will be on the first flight back tonight. Oh, I have missed you so much and was looking to come back home anyway. But now with my Nona in the hospital this has validated my need to make it back. How bad were her injuries? Sam says, "There was blood all over her face and body. She seemed really banged up." Cat closes with, "Oh, God. Nona! I'm coming back for you. Don't go without me! You have so much life to live. Now is not your time." Both Sam and Cat hang up the phone as Cat heads for the airport and books a flight for the next possible flight back to Los Angeles. Meanwhile, Sam is anxiously awaiting news from doctors in the Emergency Department waiting room.