Good Burger Takes Over the Schneiderverse

by JordanHayes0989

Twenty-one years after the events of the 1997 movie, this once local fast food restaurant is now a multi-national fast food monopoly with franchises all over the world. However, it only has a handful of franchises located in the US. But that is about to change as the establishments that once served as hangouts for many of Dan Schneider's shows close because of the new competition.

5. Scenes 9-11: Cat's Home & Babysits Again

Formatting Key: Descriptions are bracketed in [italics], characters' names in bold, dialogue/quotes in plain text.

Good Burger Takes Over the Schneiderverse Chapter 6

Scene 9: Cat Comes Home

Location: Los Angeles, California
Date/Time: August 3, 2018 at 8:30 AM
Building/Landmark: Los Angeles International Airport (LAX)
Characters Present: Cat Valentine (played by Ariana Grande), airport security guards and employees

[After boarding an overnight from from London, Cat finally lands at Los Angeles International Airport. As she just successfully wrapped up her very successful tour, Cat is glad to be home. She had not been in contact with anyone from LA while she was in college or during the first few years of her career, with the exception of very subtle interactions with Nona, Sam, Dice and Goomer. Cat has mixed emotions as the plane touches down and she walks into the terminal gate. First, she is obviously concerned for her Nona's life after she heard from Sam about her motorcycle accident and wants to see for herself that she is OK. On the other hand, she and her best friend Sam left each other on bad terms when she left for college as Sam left her in a Phoenix jail for two weeks just so that Nona can continue doing chores and cooking meals for her. Cat was uncertain whether to forgive Sam for what she did and also didn't really know how she still feels about the situation. As Cat walked out of the terminal gate and entered the main airport terminal, she is greeted with cheers and applause by fans of hers in the terminal. Some of them even come up to her asking for autographs and selfies, telling Cat that they are big fans of her music. Even in her saddened state, Cat takes the time to respond to her fans and accepts their requests. However, one fan was acting too crazy, at which point airport security had to intervene, pulling him off of Cat and taking him away.]

At this point, one of the security guards says, "Oh my god! It's Cat Valentine! We can't believe how much you have grown into the talented musical prodigy that you are!" Cat responds, "Oh, I want to thank you...for getting that crazed man off of me!" The guards laugh. Cat then continues: "But seriously, you guys just don't know how much support from my fans means to me, especially during this difficult time." The guards ask what she means by this: "you're having a difficult time? What's happening? What's going on?" Cat says: "My Nona was involved in a serious motorcycle accident and is in the hospital. In fact, that's the main reason why I flew all the way from London to Los Angeles. I need to see for myself if she's alright." The guard then says, "how did you find out about your Nona's tragic accident?", in which Cat says: "My friend Sam…" in which the security guard interrupts her and says, "Oh, Sam! I remember her! She is the one with the prison record. Whenever she would come through this airport, we had to be on high alert. Say, didn't you and Sam come through here about four years ago? You had those kids and you were taking them on a trip to the Bahamas?" Cat says, "Oh, yeah. I remember. I really wanted to fly first class because I really wanted those hot rags, but then the whole airport was locked down before we were able to get on the plane because our other friends, Dice and Goomer were chased by you guys as they brought us the timers for the Baums."

"Timers for the bombs?" the security guard exclaimed as Cat tried to correct her. "No, I said timers for the Baums. That was the last name of the kids we were babysitting." The security guard now understands and just says "oh", calmly. Then she says, "I guess there was a bit of a miscommunication. But I tell you, if we had known that, then we wouldn't have had to chase your friends all around the airport after they sprayed chocolate milk right in our faces and then took off!" Cat then asks, "what's that supposed to mean?" in her signature voice that she unknowingly borrowed from Misty Raines, a character in the Moody's Point sketch featured on The Amanda Show. The security guard replies: "I was one of the agents who interrogated those two, along with my partner, Agent Partridge. I remember the big guy asking for a glass of chocolate milk, actually two. And the moment it arrived he and his friend with the black curly hair took the cups and splashed the chocolate milk right at our faces. Then they took off and the entire airport had to go into lockdown! If they just said said that the kids you were babysitting had the last name of Baum and there were no real explosive devices, then…" at this time Cat interrupts with: "then we would have gotten to board the plane after all and get to first class with the hot rags! But by then, I think the hot rags were actually getting cold because Sam and I had to wait an unbelievable long time before they called us." The guard says, "I'm sorry that happened to you." Cat then says, "I've gotten over it since then, because I finally was able to fly first class on future flights. In fact, I flew first class on my way over here from London!"

The security guard then asks, "were the rags hot?" Cat then says, "oh yeah. Those rags were so hot, they warmed my beezy like a like a fluffy butt warmer!" The security guard then asks, "Anyway, if you need a ride somewhere or anything, please don't hesitate to ask. Cat then says, "well, I need to get to Peter Sinai Hospital so I can be with my Nona." The security guard then says, "Oh, right. Well, I can set you up with a limo to take you there, no charge." Cat lights up with this news and says, "Yay! I love large transport vehicles!" The airport security staff then contacts a local limo company and leads Cat to her ride. Turns out that the limo driver is the same one that took Sam & Cat back to Nona's apartment on that first day they met, after they tricked the driver into being the daughters of a British man who was due to fly back to the UK that same day.

The limo pulls up and the driver steps out, recognizing Cat's face. He says, "Cat Valentine?" Cat says, "Yes, I'm Cat Valentine." The driver then, recalls: "Oh yes, you look familiar. Four years ago, you and your blonde friend tricked me into thinking you were the daughters of a British man I was taking to this very airport? He missed his flight because of you! I'm not taking this scumbag anywhere!" The security guard, who accompanied her to the limo jumps in and says, "oh, come on! She's a major celebrity now and she needs to see her Nona in the hospital! That was in the past. Can't you just give her a break?" Cat then breaks down and starts to cry, and then says, "Oh, my Nona! She could die any minute! What cruel monster would deprive a girl like me from seeing her beloved Nona before she meets her maker?" The limo driver ultimately gives in and opens the door to the limo. Cat, returning to normal, then says "thank you. Next stop, Nona!". The limo pulls away while the security guard wishes her good luck. Cat is now headed to Peter Sinai Memorial to rendezvous with Sam and Nona.

Scene 10: Reunited and It Feels So...?

Location: Los Angeles, California
Date/Time: August 3, 2018 at 9:00 AM
Building/Landmark: Peter Sinai Memorial Hospital
Characters Present: Sam Puckett (played by Jennette McCurdy), Cat Valentine (played by Ariana Grande), Nona (played by Maree Cheatham), Audrey, her daughter, various hospital doctors, nurses and staff

[The limo pulls up in front of the hospital, where Cat anxiously awaits her first encounter with Sam in 4 years. As she exits the limousine, many thoughts run through her mind about Sam, Nona and her life in general. She walks into the hospital main lobby and checks in at the front desk.]

"Welcome to Peter Sinai Memorial Hospital. How can I help you?" says the attendant at the front desk. "Yes I'm here to visit my grandmother, Nona Valentine", Cat says. "What is your name?", the front desk attendant asks. "I'm her granddaughter, Cat Valentine." The front desk attendant then says, Oh my God. I'm a really big fan of your music! Anyway, Nona is in Room 222." Armed with this information, Cat receives a visitor's pass and then darts across the lobby to access the elevator. Along the way, she randomly literally bumps into, surprisingly, who else but Misty Raines herself! Misty was crazily running through the lobby like a crazed baboon (because she still has that baboon heart that was mistakenly transplanted into her 18 years ago) and apparently didn't see Cat.

"Watch where you're going, girl! Excuse me, I didn't see you there. You're so hurtful! What's that supposed to mean?" the two say in unison after they stepped back from each other following their impact. Cat and Misty look at each other with strange looks in their eyes, almost realizing that they have very similar character traits. Realizing this, Cat and Misty freak out a little but then calm down as they engage in a brief conversation.

"I honestly did not see you there. Where were you off to in such a hurry?", says Misty as she starts off first. Cat then chimes in with, "I'm so sorry. My Nona is here and she was involved in an accident so I was trying to get to her room as fast as I could. Where were you off to?"

"Well, I was going to just ask the doctors here if They could replace my baboon heart with, you know, a normal human heart", Misty replied to Cat. "Seriously? You have a baboon heart? So you're a baboon?", Cat inquired. "What's that supposed to mean?" says Misty. "You know, you make monkey type noises, you're able to swing from tall branches, and that kind of stuff?" Misty then says, "Actually, I don't swing from tall branches. But, I was able to use my baboon heart to win mine gymnastics competition in high school. Yeah, I swung from the bars and was so acrobatic that they gave me all perfect 10s. However, The woman whose husband was supposed to have the baboon heart was there and told them everything so my trophy was taken away from me and I said you're so hurtful!" Cat says, "Well I'm sorry that didn't work out for you. Anyway, my Nona's waiting For me upstairs and I have to get to her. Good luck with getting a normal heart!" Cat and Misty walk away from each other, still shocked and surprised that they met. Cat finally gets on the elevator bound for the second floor, while Misty walks like a baboon around the first floor of the hospital to find a cardiologist. Not knowing it at the time, this would only be the first of Cat and Misty's many encounters that will occur at later points in this story. They would eventually find out that there may be more to their relationship than this supposedly random meeting between the two.

Cat takes the elevator, which arrives on the second floor. She starts walking out of the elevator towards the medical unit where Nona was staying. Along the way there, Cat started to think about the last time that she saw Sam face to face. After spending two weeks in a Phoenix jail thanks to Sam's irresponsibility, Cat begin to think differently of Sam and questioned her loyalties toward her. Sam, on the other hand, was very nervous and concerned for the health and well being of Nona and what this may do to her friendship with Cat if Nona were to die.

Can approached Room 222 and spotted Sam, at which point the two of them ran towards each other, shouted out each other's names, embraced each other quickly and then each let out a squeal of excitement.

" I've missed you so much! What have you been up to?" Sam asks. "Oh nothing, all I've been doing for the last 4 years is launching a very successful music career with a graduate degree from the Bandier Program at Syracuse University, 5 top 40 hit songs and a smash hit world tour!", says Cat. Sam just stares in her, looking amazed at what her friend was able to accomplish just in the short period of time, while she has just been gradually moving along and not making as much of a success for herself in her own life. Cat then proceeds to ask what Sam has been up to, in which she responds: "Well, all I've been doing with my life is sitting and laying around with the apartment all to myself, babysitting without you, working at my job at the Tubba Chicken, and oh yeah I did graduate from my online school with a just passing grade. I didn't end up going to college because I figured it would be just too much work and I didn't want to put in all that extra work, so I've just been relying on babysitting and my Tubba Chicken job to keep the lights on in here and a roof over my head."

[It was at this point that Sam just remembered what happened back at her and Cat's apartment, with the building manager demanding the rent and Sam escaping on the way to work. She knew that she was several months overdue but was unaware that the building manager changed the locks on the doors and posted a 30-day eviction notice. She has a concerned look on her face but says nothing to Cat, who looks at Sam and then asks what is up with her.]

"Sam, you have that look on your face that tells me something is up. What's going on?" At first, Sam tries to deny her feelings by saying, "Oh nothing. I was just worried about Bots not having any more customers, you do know that the Bots customer base dropped off significantly since you, Dice, Goomer, Nona and I stopped eating there 4 years ago." Cat says, "Really? The place was filled with customers before I left for college! Boy, did we have some good times there! Don't you remember it was my idea to bring those three kids that we were babysitting, Daisy, Jarvis and...that other one whose name I still forget to this day."

"Sophie", Sam response as she reminds Cat of the third kid's name. She wants the youngest who won didn't really talk until their dad came to pick them up. After Daisy and Jarvis gave each of us one vote each, Sophie chimed in and said that we were both great babysitters. But then I asked who's better but it didn't really matter because then we got to share the big bedroom, where I painted my half black and your half of the room was pink." Cat then says, "Oh yeah. She was the one who reminded us about how great a team we were. She said even though each of us has our good qualities and bad qualities, we work the best as a team." Cat then reminds Sam, "We owe it all to Nona…" referring to the fact that Nona quit babysitting the day that she and Sam met for the first time, which indirectly allowed the two of them to start their own Babysitting Service in the first place.

It was at this time that Cat remembered the real reason she came to the hospital in the first place, and that was to check on and be with Nona. At the same time, a doctor came out of Nona's room and Cat asked if she can Sam could go in and visit her. The doctor said yes and then gave an update on Nona's condition. "The sudden Impact of the accident has resulted in a traumatic brain injury. Because of this, your grandmother has lost a lot of her memory due to the extensive amount of brain damage and has had a very difficult time speaking. When you go in there, please be mindful of that if she isn't very responsive." Cat acknowledges this information, opens the door to Nona's room and finds her grandmother bandaged up from head to toe like a mummy. Some parts of her skin are exposed, but are covered with several cuts and bruises.

Cat slowly approaches Nona's bed, almost crying as she tries to talk to her Nona. "I'm so sorry this happened to you. I know you're a mess right now, but I really need for you to hang in there and fight. You took me in when I needed you the most. You gave me a true home when Mom and Dad took my brother to that special place in Idaho and I was left alone with my Uncle Walter and Aunt Pearl. I hated that place because they were mean to me, disliked my red hair, only ate vegetables, didn't give me unlimited texting and only told me to flush the toilet when it was absolutely necessary! You gave me a real home when I was living in the attic at Hollywood Arts, you taught me how to cook your magnificent moonlight meatballs, and you gave me the courage to know what it was like to live out on my own and confide in Sam as an excellent roomate. I absolutely cannot thank you enough for everything that you have done for me, so this time I am here for you. I still need you in my life, and I am sure a lot of other people. Be there for all your friends at Elderly Acres. Be there for the rest of the family. And even though she takes advantage of you at times, be there for Sam."

Cat then stops speaking to Nona awaiting a response from her, but all she got was just an unintelligible murmur that confirmed Nona's speech difficulty as a result of the severe head trauma.

Cat tries again and then says, "What's that? I couldn't understand you. I said that we all still need you. I need you, your friends at Elderly Acres need you, even Sam needs you no matter how selfish and aggressive she can be at times." Nona tries to speak again, but once again the only thing coming out of her mouth is a small murmur containing no audible speech. Cat, at this point is now very concerned and seemed to forget what the doctor said about Nona's severe head injury. She begins to shake Nona in her bed, which causes the machines to make all kinds of beeps and noises. It was at this instance when Sam, the nurses and doctors came in to see what was going on.

"What in the butt is going on in here? Did anyone here touch the machines or disturb the patient?" said one of the nurses. Cat replied: "I was trying to speak to my Nona but she made no sense. I know it sounds weird, coming from a girl who talks all the time and nobody really understands what she is trying to say. So I attempted to wake up my Nona so she could talk to me, but it obviously didn't work. It just caused more problems!" One of the nurses stepped in and tried to resolve the problem, saying "obviously!" to Sam and Cat. She and the doctor then asked Sam and Cat to leave the room as they tried to stabilize Nona. After the two of them walked back into the lobby, Sam grabbed Cat and asked her what that whole ordeal was about.

"What in the world of spicy chicken did you do in there?" Cat then answered with, "I tried to tell my Nona how much everyone would miss her if she, you know, passed on, but she wasn't saying much. I could barely understand a single word that came out of her mouth. So I figured if I just tried to wake her up a bit, then maybe she would actually say something." Sam then reminder her, "remember what the doctor said? Nona had a severe brain injury! Her speech patterns have been damaged!" Cat asks, "what's that supposed to mean?" Sam then says, "she hit head so hard that doesn't remember anything anymore, including how to talk." Cat then says, "Like a baby?" Sam then replies, sarcastically, "yes, Cat, just like a tiny, little newborn baby, but with wrinkles, facial hair and a Medicare plan."

"Except babies don't have wrinkles, facial hair and a Medicare plan!" Cat then laughs and realizes what Sam was actually saying. Then Cat comes in with, "Remember the first time we babysat an actual baby? It was Darby, remember? He had a sister named Chloe and a brother named Max. They came over and we had to babysit him because you took my Nona to Elderly Acres!" Sam says she remembers how Max, Chloe and Darby just showed up at their apartment just before Cat tried to bust Nona out of Elderly Acres because she thought she hated it there. Sam also recalled the time when the three of them were asking for something fun to do once they arrived at Elderly Acres and Sam let them ride on a scooter, where they went to Inside Out Burger, ordered some food but didn't have any money to pay. She also remembered when the manager chased after them, eventually passed out and the two of them had to resuscitate him by giving their own version of CPR, which Cat mistakenly referred to as "C-3PO."

The two of them realize that was their truly first ever babysitting experience. Sam and Cat realized that Nona gave them both a gift, truly one that taught them responsibility and a care for the world around them through the eyes of young, precious kids. However, There were times when Sam and Cat didn't get along and were not on the same page, both during babysitting and just spending time together. This was mainly due to Sam's selfishness and carelessness for other people and things around her, which at times, led to drastic consequences.

"But that wasn't the only time you let your selfish ways get to you! Remember how you left me to rot in a Phoenix jail for 2 weeks just because you going to have my Nona all to yourself?" Sam now looks guilty as Cat reminded her of when Nona took care of Sam while Cat was away with Dice. However, before Sam could say anything, another woman in the lobby overheard Sam and Cat talk about their babysitting experiences and butted herself into the conversation. "Excuse me, girls, but I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. You two are babysitters?" Cat says, "We used to babysit, but since I moved away the college four years ago we had to shut down our babysitting service for obvious reasons." Sam then jumped in to say, "But Cat, While you were gone I continued babysitting kids In order to keep our legacy running. Truthfully, it was my only way to make money at the time after you left. I didn't go college because it was too much work and I didn't get a job until about 3 years ago because I was lazy." The woman, who now identified herself as Audrey said, "Aw, that's too bad. Since my sick, dying mother is here in the hospital I really don't have anyone to look after my 5-year old daughter back at home. I've had to bring her here with me and I think she's bored. I was going to offer you $200 each to babysit." As soon as Sam heard this, she immediately said, "We'll do it! Come on, Cat. It'll be fun. The kids I am babysitting now nearly don't have as much fun as the kids you and I were babysitting together. You really put the "fun time" in Sam and Cat's Super Rockin' Fun Time Babysitting Service. Cat is initially held back on this idea because she hasn't done it in a while. "I don't know, Sam. Since I have been away at college and have transformed into a global music superstar, my babysitting chops are a bit rusty. But, what the heck, I'll do it! Sam and Cat's Super Rockin' Fun Time Babysitting Service is back open for business!"

Audrey then calls her daughter, Stephanie over from the lobby chair she was sitting at. "I would like you to meet your new babysitters…" Sam and Cat interject with their names. "OK, I'll trust that I am leaving my daughter in good hands. Here's my number." Audrey tells Sam and Cat her phone number. "I'll call when I am leaving the hospital and on my way to pick her up. Have fun!" Cat finally says her signature "KK" while Sam says "just make sure you have our $200". Sam, Cat and Stephanie walk towards the elevator, take it down to the ground floor and leave the hospital on their way back to their apartment.

Sam realizes, "Dang. I left my motorcycle back at Tubba Chicken. Do you mind if we walk back there first?" Cat says, "KK" and the two of them walk back toward Tubba Chicken.

Scene 11: Lost Little Boy on the Streets of LA

Location: Venice Boulevard, Los Angeles, California
Date/Time: August 3, 2018 at 10:30 AM
Building/Landmark: Tubba Chicken, various buildings along Venice Blvd, Sam & Cat's Apartment 22
Characters Present: Sam Puckett (played by Jennette McCurdy), Cat Valentine (played by Ariana Grande), Stephanie (Audrey's daughter), Toby (5-year old boy wandering the street)

[Sam and Cat finally make it back to Tubba Chicken with Stephanie after passing Inside Out Burger and Bots, all dotted along Venice Blvd. Along the way, they realize that both Bots and Inside Out Burger have decreased customers and "Going Out of Business" signs as they are not doing as well as they did four years ago when Sam & Cat frequented these two establishments regularly. They also notice the remnants of Nona's accident, with remains from the garbage truck still scattered around the street. Cat is shocked and frightened by what she has seen, since this is the first time she saw the accident scene up close and in person. Tired and out of breath, the three of them hop on Sam's motorcycle and Sam drives Cat and Stephanie back to their apartment.]

[A few blocks down, Sam and Cat spot a small 5-year old boy walking down the sidewalk on the right hand side of the street. Cat tells Sam to slow down but she refuses to at first, since she is more concerned about getting home than helping other people. But then Cat orders her to stop the motorcycle. The two of them pull off to the side. Cat gets off the motorcycle and approaches the little boy.]

"Well, hello, little boy. Where are you off to? What are you doing out here, wandering this busy Los Angeles street all alone?" The boy looked dirty, with tattered clothes almost resembling a homeless person. The boy answers, "I've lost my mom and dad. Where could they possibly be? I've been spending the whole morning trying to find them!" Cat asks for his name, which he replies with "Toby." Then she says to him, "Don't worry. My friend Sam and I are babysitters. Just come with us. We'll help you find your mom and dad!" The boy then notices Stephanie in the motorcycle, who gives him dirty looks and asks Cat, "are we really going to let that thing ride with us? He might have rabies." Cat then says to her, "yes, Stephanie! This little boy is lost trying to find his parents and all you care about is rabies? Come on, stop thinking about yourself once in a while!"

Toby says, "where are you, Mom and Dad?" At this point, Sam asks Stephanie, "oh by the way, why wasn't your dad with your mom at the hospital? Does he live here in Los Angeles?" Stephanie then says, "No, my dad isn't here because he lives in Seattle. After my grandmother got sick a few weeks ago, my mom flew down here to LA to be with her and she has been in the hospital nearly 24/7." Sam, surprised by this news, asks Stephanie for her last name. Stephanie replies with, "Shay. My dad's first name is Spencer. He is an excellent artist, makes a lot of sculptures and can act a little crazy sometimes."

Sam, further in shock, surprise and excitement, then says to Stephanie: "Oh yeah, I know Spencer. She is the brother of my best friend Carly who moved to Italy about 6 years ago. I'm glad he found a steady girlfriend after many failed attempts at dating", Sam says to herself. "We used to do this web show together called iCarly!" Stephanie then says, "Oh, yeah. My dad talks about it all the time! You and Carly used to do some funny stuff together with Freddie and Gibby. And I've seen pictures of you with that blue remote!" Sam remembers the remote and then tells Stephanie that she gave her remote to Carly before she moved to Italy as a gift to remember her by. Sam (and Cat) are elated to babysit a kid who has ties with her iCarly past. Toby gets onto the motorcycle as he, Sam, Cat and Stephanie ride off in Sam's motorcycle en route to Apartment 22 where even more surprises will be waiting for them.