Chapter 12- Draco's Greater Fear

*****Draco*****

The Forbidden Forest was no place for Draco Malfoy. He had only been in once before, and that was in detention as a first year, under duress. Draco tried to gather his thoughts… He'd done too little thinking in the last hour.

OWLs were over, and what did he have to show for this year?

Probably, he could take any NEWT classes he wanted. Draco would have thought his parents would be proud.

But Draco dreaded returning to the Manor more than anything else. At any time, Tom Riddle could be there. Bellatrix Lestrange probably would be there. The woman was his aunt. And his father would be there, and wasn't that enough? How many people had Lucius Malfoy killed?

Would Draco's father have laughed if Ginny had died when she was eleven? What about any of the other victims? Draco had been scared at the time, but more scared for himself than anyone else. And Draco's mother was either complicit in her husband's Death Eater activities, or willfully oblivious. But they were his parents. And sometimes people did what they had to do. Or they were confused enough to think it was the right thing. And maybe Draco was confused. Ravenclaw purebloods probably didn't have to deal with this so personally.

Someone had set off some prank items in the castle that afternoon, in some way thanks to the Weasley twins, he was sure. Draco had not even bothered leaving the Slytherin common room this time.

After the last Slytherin quidditch game, Draco had retreated further from everyone. Of course, without Montague, they hadn't had a chance at their last game. Well, they could have had a chance if Draco had been better. Ginny had more snitch catches that season than Draco did. Draco had visited the older boy along with the rest of the team when the Matron had allowed it. He was babbling about being trapped and apparating out, but he couldn't have apparated on Hogwarts grounds.

As a fifth year, there wasn't anything left to do at the school when OWLs were over. Didn't even know what classes they would officially be taking to start on work. They wouldn't even be receiving final marks before departing on the stupid train. Draco still didn't understand why they couldn't all just floo home. Home.

There had been disturbances in the hallway all afternoon, celebrating an end to exams, or OWLs, or NEWTs, depending on the troublemaker. But the entire year had been like that, even more after the Weasley twins left. The Inquisitorial Squad was supposed to be roaming the halls catching them, but Draco hadn't been a very attentive member of the group. It was all meaningless. It was a stupid name for an awful idea.

"Wish Umbridge really had used the Cruciatus. I would have liked to see them scream," Goyle's voice came from the portrait hole. Crabbe was with him, smiling even more broadly. Draco felt sick. Who had it been? Potter, probably. But them- so Weasley and Granger too. And none of them had actually been cursed with it, from the sound of it but… Umbridge really needed to be removed. Someone with so much power over hundreds of students- of children- couldn't make threats like that. Slytherins didn't get many detentions lately, but everyone knew that Filch had been given permission from Umbridge for whippings. Draco hadn't heard if any had actually been given out, but talk of the Cruciatus...

"Who?" Draco asked, trying to sound casual.

"Potter," Crabbe answered.

"An' Weasley, Granger, an' the others," Goyle said.

"Who?" Draco asked.

"You're worried about the little red bitch, huh?" Crabbe asked. "Not even gettin' to shag her anymore though, are you?"

That was not what he expected from his... from Crabbe. They hadn't talked much lately.

"Where is she!" Draco demanded.

"Ask your old girl," Goyle said. "Her fault they got away."

Pansy, he'd have to talk to Pansy. Though Ginny was probably fine, just set to serve detention for the rest of the year for something those Gryffindors did, and she wouldn't want to talk to him. But what if they were detentions with Filch? Whippings? McGonagall wasn't even in the castle anymore to protect her students from Umbridge. And Draco could apologize if that was what needed to happen.

He was shaken most by the casual way Crabbe and Goyle talked about the Cruciatus Curse. Only Death Eaters used Unforgivables. But wasn't that what Umbridge was trying to make? Her own generation of young Slytherins with… the same qualities it took to become a Death Eater, right?

Pansy wasn't in the common room, or anywhere between the dungeons and Umbridge's office, and the office was empty. Where would Pansy be? Or if he could just find Ginny directly. Gryffindor Tower? No, Hospital Wing, just in case.

There was no sign of any Weasleys or Potter, but Pansy pushed past him, and Draco was surprisingly relieved to see her. How did he want to handle this?

"Are you alright?" he started. "I heard you were in a fight with Potter?"

"Don't even pretend you care about me, Draco Malfoy," she snapped. "Your little girlfriend and the other trash around her probably followed Granger into the Forest. I hope they never come out. I knew the little slag would run off with Potter if she had a chance," Pansy sneered.

The Forbidden Forest. "Why would they go to the forest?" Draco asked, still trying to sound casual, despite the insults.

"Granger said there was a weapon there that Dumbledore wanted and was ready now. Umbridge wanted to see. So, she took Potter and Granger. Looney, Longbottom, and the Weasley trash probably followed them. And she hexed me. It was disgusting." Pansy could be wrong. They might have flooed to the Order of the Phoenix headquarters or something- but that didn't seem Gryffindor. And at worst, Ginny wasn't alone. As reluctant as Draco would normally be to depend on it, Potter always came out of a terrible situation alright.

So there he was, Draco Malfoy foolishly tromping around the Forbidden Forest, hoping to find a group of people who hated him and who had last been seen going there hours ago. Chances of them still being here… or of him finding them if they were…

*****Draco*****

"Mr. Malfoy, are you well?" the matron asked him, sounding concerned. He probably looked at least as bad as he felt. Hours traipsing around the forest most of the night could do that to a person, though he thought he must have mostly wandered aimlessly, even circling around, because he never found anything noteworthy except for a glance at a unicorn in the distance, and he somehow exited the woods long after dark, stumbling up to the Hospital Wing, hoping to find them but dreading what he might find.

Ginny was there, sitting on a bed and staring at him when he came in. She wasn't dead, didn't look badly hurt.

"I just want to check on Ginny," Draco pleaded with the matron. The woman raised an eyebrow but actually smiled. She raised her wand and muttered a diagnostic spell he recognized. She nodded.

"I'll leave out some Pepper Up potion, at least."

"Draco loves Gin-Gin," Ron Weasley's sing song voice rang out. Draco whipped around and found the red-head sitting up in a hospital bed, strange red markings on his face and arms. That Weasley was definitely addled. Draco could feel his face coloring. Ginny was as red as her hair. "Can't you see? He's scared for her. That means he looo-ves her and wants to maaaaarry her."

"Don't hex him in the Hospital Wing. I'm sure he won't remember it anyway," Ginny spoke softly.

Draco sat awkwardly at the foot of her bed because there wasn't a chair around, and he didn't feel up to keep standing. Draco heard the matron giving Weasley something to make him fall asleep, and he was overwhelmingly grateful to the woman.

"Where did you go?" Draco asked, exhausted and mindful of his tone, lest he get kicked out of the ward. Pepper Up potion was sounding wonderful.

"To London, to the Ministry," Ginny's weak voice said.

"What? Why?" Draco asked, reasons flying through his mind. To report Umbridge perhaps, but the Ministry probably would have been closed before they managed to get there. And how had a trip to the Ministry landed so many in the Hospital Wing? Or perhaps that was damage already done in the forest?

"To rescue someone who was hurt, but it was a trap and Death Eaters were there-" the girl managed, trailing off. The panic he had felt for hours reemerged again, even though the danger was clearly past. How had Ginny- how had any of them survived? Had all of them made it out?

"So you went off across the country on some hair-brained Gryffindor scheme and you didn't even tell me? How did you even get there?" Draco ranted, fear manifesting as rising anger. "I've spent the last- I don't know how many bloody hours running around the damned forest looking for you because I thought- I thought you were still there."

Ginny chose this time to find her spine, "Well, I'm sorry you get yourself dirty, walking around after your bedtime, but some of us… I didn't ask you to look for me. I didn't expect… I don't know why you're mad at me-"

"I'm mad because you could have died!" Draco growled, knowing he would never live this down. Too many witnesses. Even if Weasley was loopy and Lovegood was always a bit off.

"Well, that's the only way you wouldn't have to marry me, so wouldn't you be happy about that?" the witch shot back.

Draco felt the accusation like a physical blow. He looked at the witch, who he sometimes sort of thought of as… his witch. Angry, beautiful, and bloody terrifying. And really beautiful when she was angry. "I'm sorry we fought," he whispered. "I don't want you to do anything to get hurt. And anything unkind I said, I didn't mean it." That was the best he could do. It wasn't any grand declaration of love. Love? Did he love Ginny Weasley?

"Even if it means you'll have to marry me in a little more than two years?" Ginny insisted, always pushing him one step further.

"Yes," Draco whispered. "That's what I want," he said, those words holding less terror than the thought of Ginny being gone. Marriage had scared him as much or more than anything else, even as much as his father being a murderer, but the idea of Ginny being dead was worse.

He was surprised when Ginny actually launched herself at him, settling half in his lap, arms around his neck, commencing to wet the front of his robes with her quiet tears.

It was emotional for both of them. Not thinking clearly.

When the tired and angry matron came to check on them, Ginny was still silently sobbing into his robes, "Please don't make me go," he asked the matron, knowing she had every right to after their shouting display.

He felt Ginny's grip on him tighten and she let out an audible sob. Draco faintly smiled. Even when utterly distressed, Ginny would work at getting what she wanted, which at the moment seemed to be convincing the matron to allow his presence.

The stern witch surprisingly nodded and went towards the back of the room, where Longbottom was, feigning sleep, though Draco had spotted him peeking once when he had glanced over the room. Witnesses.

"Was he there? My father?" Draco asked softly, not really prepared for the answer that he expected but feeling like he needed to ask. Could he go back to the manor as if nothing had happened, as if nothing had changed- as if he hadn't changed that year, because of the girl in his arms? He'd befriended a house elf. He'd gone into the forest to… save her or something. He had never had a clear plan. When they weren't fighting, he liked talking to Ginny Weasley a lot. And the snogging.

Ginny nodded against his shoulder and brought her face away slightly so she could talk, her voice weak again, though he knew that she was so strong. "Yes. He said that no one from his family could hurt me, but that the actions of others were outside of his control."

His father truly wanted his future wife dead. The man was asking for it. As if Draco would just marry the 'right' sort of girl with that 'messiness' behind him and have 'appropriate' Malfoy children. Never. He'd rather end the Malfoy line with himself than that.

"What did they want- Potter? Is everyone else- okay?" Draco asked quietly, surprised that he cared. He didn't actually wish death or even harm to his childhood rivals.

Ginny smiled before it slipped off her face. "The students are, but Sirius Black died."

Draco was confused that Ginny would find that worth mentioning. She hadn't had to… kill him herself, had she? "A Death Eater?"

"No, he wasn't. He had- some problems for sure, but he had a rough life. Twelve years in Azkaban for crimes he didn't commit. Dying before his name could even be cleared," Ginny sniffed, burying her head again. "He was Harry's godfather. Harry's probably pretty messed up."

"Were they caught? By Dumbledore or someone? Are the Death Eaters going to Azkaban?" Draco asked, thinking of his father and unsure what he wanted. No, he knew and felt like a traitorous son for wanting his father to be locked up far away from him and from Ginny, even in a place as horrible as Azkaban. Not that Azkaban could be trusted to be secure.

"Yes, from what I've heard. Except for Bellatrix and Tom," Ginny mumbled.

"He was there?"

"Yeah. It will be all over the morning Prophet. They'll probably delay the issue just to get it in. Everyone saw, loads of Ministry people apparently. There are even some pictures, but I'm not sure if they'll be printed.

"So everyone knows that he's back," Draco thought aloud. What would Slytherin house be like now?

"Madame Pomfrey, can I please leave?" Ginny half shouted suddenly to get the witch's attention. "I really need to be out of here. You said I was well enough to leave by morning, and it's morning, and I would like to leave now."

It wasn't light out, and Draco still wanted to sleep… despite all of those thoughts and his racing heart.

The older witch studied them both. "You're well enough physically to go. You'll look after her, Mr. Malfoy?" the witch asked.

"Yes, matron," the startled young wizard replied, as Ginny was already throwing her crumpled dressing gown over the hospital robe and stuffing her feet into shoes.

Ginny led them as far as the closest classroom before shutting the door and saying, "I think you should talk to Dumbledore. Or my parents. Oh, or Professor Snape!" Ginny suggested.

"Snape is a Death Eater too- don't you know? I've- known him all my life, but really, what the hell is he doing around a school full of children?" Draco wondered aloud.

"He's-" Ginny hesitated, "He's a spy, and Dumbledore has reason to believe he's on our side. He's saved Harry more than once. I'm really trusting you with this, Draco," she whispered.

Draco stared at her. Whether she was right about Snape or not, she was telling him things that her friends and family would be upset by, maybe even think she was a traitor for sharing. They usually stayed away from those topics, even if Draco had gathered bits over the months.

"I will," Draco agreed. "I'll speak to Professor Snape," he said, feeling more comfortable talking to the man he'd known all his life, even if he wasn't sure what 'side' the man fought for ultimately. He was fairly certain that the man still cared about him.

And then Ginny kissed him, desperately, tears reappearing down her cheek. Draco wondered if some of the tears were his as well, relieved that she was alright, that she was in his arms, and didn't hate him. That somehow everything would be okay. He'd marry this girl one day, sooner each moment, and that didn't scare him as much as it did a day ago. There were so many other things to fear.

*****Draco*****

"I've heard something about your- alliances, but how can I know if it is true?" Draco asked boldly of the man behind the desk in front of him.

Snape rose from his desk, expression highly irritated, and performed several complicated want movements in the direction of the closed door, and finally declared, "More educated wizards and witches than you have had trials over the issue, and you will notice that I am not currently in Azkaban," the man said in a frustrating non-answer. "Though I imagine that my stay fourteen years ago was longer than your father's will be now."

"That's what I don't want," Draco said in an almost scream, tension becoming too much for him. Then to cover his bases, "Regardless of my ideological leanings, I do not want to be in any active war, and that is doubtless where I would find myself. I'm still fifteen, don't even know what NEWTs I'm taking. How could I possibly be part of a war?" Draco demanded, thinking of the Gryffindors in his year whom had been part of something like this since they came to Hogwarts, or even longer in the case of Potter. Even when everyone thought Tom was defeated, it had still happened somehow.

"You have been- discussed for quite some time to bring into the Death Eater ranks, more seriously since the revelation of your future marriage," Snape confirmed carefully. "There was discussion over whether to wait until you were of age, but with the Dark Lord's current distaste of your father... he is difficult to predict in even ideal circumstances. Tell me, Draco, have the ideological leanings that you spoke of changed from those of your upbringing?" Snape said, sounding indifferent.

"How the hell can I trust you with anything like that?" Draco cursed in front of his professor, his Head of House, Severus Snape, longtime family friend. "So what if maybe I'm just not stupid enough anymore to think muggleborns are inferior if Granger's smarter than the rest of the class combined!" Draco shouted. Evidently, he trusted his 'Uncle Severus' enough for this. "I thought muggles were lower than house elves. And house elves, I've changed there too! By this time next year, I'll be in Granger's little elf protection group. I was practically raised more by Dobby than my parents anyway. Why did I get to treat him like shit? How the hell am I supposed to function anymore? I can't go back there and pretend that I don't hate my father for what he's done. He could have gotten Ginny killed! He wanted to get her killed. And the others wouldn't have deserved it either."

"Look at me, Draco," came his professor's smooth voice. When Draco looked Severus Snape in the eyes, the older wizard whispered, "Legilimens." Memories flashed before his eyes, starting with Ginny and their most recent encounter but jumping around to his times of misgivings of his raising. Snape was pushing towards a moment that was followed by some particularly good snogging when Draco was able to rally to push his professor out. Surely the man had seen enough, and he certainly didn't need to see that.

Exhausted and suddenly on the floor, Draco looked up at his professor, but not making eye contact this time. "You've changed over the last year," the man said. "Primarily because of Miss Weasley, I have gathered. And you have a firm grasp of rudimentary Occlumency skills. Your father?" he asked in the same soft voice.

"My mother," Draco replied instead. "I was told that all of the Black sisters were particularly good at it."

"Yes, Bellatrix was quite skilled with all matters of the mind, legilimency, obliviating, and torturing, until she began to lose her own instead," Snape drawled. "You will need to develop those skills further. With your father's impending imprisonment, I imagine the Headmaster could make official excuses and attempt to find another place for you, but I can make no promises. I do not doubt that your father will return to his manor before the end of summer, possibly before the end of the week. I would offer to house you myself-" Severus Snape said to Draco, the boy he had held hours after the child's birth, "But I have an unpleasant house guest of my own, and you would be under stricter observation there. If you will take your leave," Severus said, dropping the wards he had placed on the door and opening it with a flick of his wand.

Draco was more confused than ever, but he was reasonably sure that Uncle Severus wouldn't share what was said to his father or any of their circle. Slytherins had loyalty differently than Hufflepuffs, but he was assured of that much at least. Maybe Ginny was right about their professor after all, he pondered as he continued to wander the halls, thoughts drifting to whatever Ginny might be up to.

*****Draco*****

In the days after the Ministry incident, Draco became more reclusive than ever. The whole school knew that his father was in prison, but none but Ginny knew how furious Draco was at the man. And people Draco slept in the same room with had followed Umbridge's orders so unquestioningly… uncaring of the safety of fellow students, even if they were Gryffindors- and Lovegood. No one reasonable should care about a stupid rivalry when that vile, truly evil woman was threatening the Cruciatus Curse.

"I'm sorry I worried you," Ginny murmured between kisses. They had agreed on the Room of Requirement, as Ginny called it, for its comfortable setting. Draco was thinking about just sleeping in the place and avoiding his dormitory entirely. Would his Head of House notice? he wondered. "But I can't promise I won't do something that dangerous again," she added. Damned Gryffindor that he… cared about.

"What are we?" he asked, pulling away a bit. She was… sort on top of him as they reclined on the couch. The bed that the room also gave them would have been more comfortable, but neither of them had acknowledged it. That would be far too much.

"Hmm?" Ginny asked.

"Are you my- am I your friend? Boyfriend- betrothed- fiancé?" he ran through a list. "Future husband, intended, promised, beaux?"

Ginny considered it, "I've thought fiancé was a lovely word, but I'm not sure I am that yet, since neither of us have officially asked," she said. He was supposed to ask, he supposed, but when? "I think boyfriend is most accurate without sounding dreadful, but we could be friends too."

"So long as you don't do this with any other friends," he said, indicating their position.

"I wouldn't, even if I could without terrible consequences," Ginny promised.

So, that was one part of his life that was going well, even if it was the only part.

*****Draco*****

"Draco," a voice called from down the hall, stopping him in his wanderings. A young adult witch, messy brown hair and robes open over a pair of muggle jeans and a Weird Sisters' shirt. That description clicked in his mind, even though she didn't look like the witch he'd met before. Nymphadora Tonks, his cousin on his mother's side, his only first cousin. She was a metamorphmagus, but was looking ordinary right now, if a little out of place at Hogwarts.

"Hey," the witch said when they were closer. She looked uncomfortable, and like she hadn't been taking care of herself. But Draco did remember that another cousin of theirs had recently died, one whom she probably knew and cared about.

"Nymphadora Tonks," Draco neutrally greeted his cousin that he hadn't known existed until they'd met for lunch when she had been Ginny's chaperone.

"Just Tonks. Your mother didn't give you such a terrible name," Tonks said with almost a smile.

Draco tried to return the levity, "'Draco' seems like a great name when you're six, but the upper years weren't so impressed with it when I was a first year. Though it probably had more to do with my attitude than my name," Draco allowed. It was worth it to see the witch smile.

"Can you- in here," Tonks said, walking into a nearby empty classroom and expecting him to follow. Draco complied cautiously. When he entered the room, Tonks put wards on the door. Draco thought he recognized some of them as ones Professor Snape had used before.

"You can stay with my parents- if you don't want to go home," the witch said after lowering her wand, surprising Draco. He wasn't sure what else he had been expecting, but it hadn't been an offer of a home. A place, anyway. "It's got some wards on it, and they've agreed. We're all putting our necks out, so don't take it lightly. They're family, you know. Even if the Blacks haven't been close in years, and some of us aren't technically on any family trees," she laughed.

"I- thank you," Draco said.

"Think on it for a bit. You don't have to give an answer until you leave Hogwarts. You can just tell Professor Snape, and they'll be ready. Mum's pretty good at Occlumency too," Tonks hinted. "And they taught us some in the Academy. I'm best on my squad. I'll stop by there from time to time. And I could probably sneak Ginny in for a visit. An opened-doors visit, young man."

"Thank you," Draco nodded again, wondering if all he did these days was apologize and thank people. He never used to have to do those things. Not often anyway. "Why would you do that?" he asked. He wasn't used to charity either. No one ever liked a Malfoy enough to give them something without expectations.

Tonks looked at him in a very piercing way, though Draco was sure that she wasn't trying to use legilimency. "Because I think Ginny Weasley is a fine judge of character these days, and I wish the best for her," the witch finally said. "And, like I said, we're family. I know that shouldn't mean a lot, because family can be terrible scum that I would kill on sight if I could. But it means something in your case, okay?"

Draco nodded, knowing that the witch meant Aunt Bellatrix, no, just 'Bellatrix', no term of endearment or familiarity. And perhaps Tonks meant his father as well, but Draco couldn't face that one yet, the man that Draco had spent his entire life trying to be good enough to impress.

"And I don't know much about Narcissa, but I know that your father isn't likely to stay in Azkaban for nearly as long as he deserves. It's a depressing reality in the Department these days. And I think you should be somewhere else when he gets out. It can be somewhere that he doesn't know where, and it can even look like you were forced into it," Tonks suggested.

Draco nodded pensively. What the witch said was probably true. Just a year ago Draco would have said it was a terrible injustice that his father would ever be locked up, and that no bars could hold a Malfoy. Now, Draco was terrified of his father's release or escape. "I'll do it. I want to go," Draco said.

"And it doesn't matter that my Dad's muggleborn?" Tonks questioned, bringing Draco's thoughts back to the present. "It's half his house, and he's family too," she insisted, but holding out her hand already for him to shake.

"It doesn't matter," Draco voiced aloud, which was not something he'd said directly before either. He took the offered hand and shook it quickly, still uncomfortable with this new branch of his family. "Thank you," Draco muttered again. He almost wanted to ask if he could see his mother over the summer, but stayed quiet.

"I'll see you in the summer," Tonks said, clasping her hand around Draco's shoulder before releasing whatever spells she had put on the door and leaving him to his thoughts.

*****Draco*****

Potter was the great hero, the Boy-Who-Lived again, and Dumbledore was back, all titles restored, and Draco didn't care to object over it.

Ravenclaw had the House Cup in the end. It was the first time it hadn't been Gryffindor in years- excluding the year before when no cup had been awarded- and the Cup had been Slytherin's for years before that. Draco could hardly imagine that time. Ravenclaw had gotten a decent lead- not often being the targets of Inquisitorial Squad or retaliating efforts on other teacher's parts. Sometimes Slytherins couldn't even account for disappearing points from their hourglass. And Lovegood had gotten points just like the Gryffindors. For risking their lives and breaking into their government's most secret facility. And for exposing the greatest threat alive to the world. Dumbledore apparently respected Flitwick or the Ravenclaws enough not to take the cup away from them at the feast as he had from Slytherin. And it seemed petty to care about any of that anymore after everything else.

Umbridge had finally left, and everything at Hogwarts had some semblance of order again. It wasn't so bad. And the next day he would meet his aunt and her husband, the people who raised Tonks. They had to be interesting at the least. Draco had learned that Andromeda Black had been a Slytherin, which was more interesting still.

Original Note: Thank you, assuming anyone is reading this! I really did not want to start another long story, but this one came to me. I didn't want to post anything until I got at least this far. So, hopefully this is going well and I've written further. And if not- at least I made it this far, and I like it. If I am able to continue, there will be more departures from canon the further we go forward.

Late 2020 note: I'm sorry this isn't finished, but it will be eventually! I'm editing now so I can try to finish it without continuity errors, and hopefully have the writing at a standard I'm happy with sharing. Thank you for reading!