Good Burger Takes Over the Schneiderverse

by JordanHayes0989

Twenty-one years after the events of the 1997 movie, this once local fast food restaurant is now a multi-national fast food monopoly with franchises all over the world. However, it only has a handful of franchises located in the US. But that is about to change as the establishments that once served as hangouts for many of Dan Schneider's shows close because of the new competition.

6. Scenes 12-13: Nona Passes

Formatting Key: Descriptions are bracketed in [italics], characters' names in bold, dialogue/quotes in plain text.

Good Burger Takes Over the Schneiderverse Chapter 7

Scene 12: Big Surprises Back at Home

Location: Los Angeles, California
Date/Time: August 3, 2018 at 1:30 PM
Building/Landmark: Sam & Cat's Apartment 22
Characters Present: Sam Puckett (played by Jennette McCurdy), Cat Valentine (played by Ariana Grande), Stephanie (Audrey & Spencer's daughter), Toby

[Sam, Cat, Stephanie and Toby continue searching the streets of Los Angeles to find Toby's lost parents. After spending about 3 hours without any luck, they decide to return to Apartment 22. Cat tries to unlock the door to the apartment, but is unsuccessful and then notices a piece of paper on the door, which happens to be an eviction notice. Cat, however, has not read the notice yet and continues to struggle to open the door. Sam, after seeing her struggle, attempts to stop her and then takes note of the eviction notice on the door. Cat pulls the eviction notice off the door and reads it aloud to Sam.]

"Dear Samantha Puckett: You are currently notified that you have not paid $6,300 in back rent. As per the terms and conditions in the Lease Agreement, you are hereby required to vacate the premises within 30 days if the rent is not paid in full by August 5."

Cat, surprised at this, confronts Sam and asks, "what in the fudge is the meaning of this? Sam, you haven't paid the rent for how long? Now we're locked out of our apartment? I let you off the hook several times before I left for college, but this is crossing the line!" Sam, hesitantly looking guilty and blushed at the same time, attempted to answer back: "well, would you look at that? I'm sure that bush that we left Max and Chloe in over there has grown at least twice its size since you left." Cat angrily interjects with, "Sam! Answer the question. why haven't you been paying the rent?" Sam ultimately admits that her laziness and inability to get off her feet and begin a worthwhile career has caused her to depend on others and avoid all aspects of responsibility altogether: "I don't have enough money to pay the rent! Even with my job at Tubba Chicken and continuing to run the babysitting service, it only adds up to about $1,000 a month, then I have the pay the utilities on this place, which is an extra $400 so I am really left with $600, OK? Then, what if I want to binge shop on some cool but useless things from Zapathon that we don't really need?" Sam recalls the time when she and cat ordered a lot of items from Zapathon after seeing a story on the news about their new drone delivery service. The last time they ordered items from that store, the infant they were babysitting accidentally got picked up by a drone and was taken back to Zapathon headquarters, where they ultimately rescued him and took him home.

Cat then says to sam, "Oh, Sam! You haven't learned a thing or changed a bit since I left for college 4 years ago. Why haven't you learned any sense of responsibility?"

Sam then snaps back to Cat, saying, "Oh wait a second. I didn't realize you were gone until months later when Dice and Goomer eventually told me that you snuck out in the middle of the night 4 years ago! I looked everywhere for you, and even thought you were kidnapped!"

"The only reason why I had to sneak out was because I thought you would keep me here and hold me hostage against my will!" Sam then asks, "and why did you think I would do such a thing?" Cat snaps back with, "well, because you just can't live without my meatballs, my food in general, my pampering, and everything else I have done to take care of you! On top of that, I've cleaned your messes, I've covered for you when you get into all types of deep doo-doo, I even had to clean the toilet after you wazzed all over it and threw up in it!" Sam then says, "I had an expired taco for lunch off the street. I had to do what I had to do."

"You're completely missing the point", says Cat. "When are you going to learn to take care of yourself? When are you going to learn to put others first and let your selfish ways go? You know, soon there will come a day where other people will get tired of your selfish ways and won't do anything for you anymore, even if you beg and plead from your hands and knees! They'll be so tired of your selfish antics that you'll be dirty on the street, poor and broke with just the soiled and tattered clothes on your back and no one to help you with anything! DO YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN?"

Sam, realizing what Cat is saying, ultimately screams "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" and attempts to break the apartment door down. Knowing that she succeeded the night that she was supposed to jump the tuna and Cat locked in to prevent her from doing such a dangerous stunt, Sam knew that she could try it again. However, no matter how she tried to punch the door in, it wouldn't budge. This scares the kids a little, who then hide behind the bush. Then, as Cat calms Sam down and attempts to regain her attention by repeatedly calling her name, Sam attempts the old "jam-and jiggle" to open the door, and surprisingly succeeded. The door is now unlocked and the kids come out of the bush. With everything calmed down now, except for Cat still, they enter the apartment.

Despite their successful entry, Cat briefly stops from her anger and rage to exclaim "Yay! We finally got in! Oh, I've missed this place so much! Here's all the stuff from That's A Drag, the couch, the guitar, the fridge, the zebra lamp, the kitchen, it's just as I had left it!" After frolicking briefly through the living room, Cat returned to her confrontation with Sam asking her to start taking responsibility for her actions. "You know, I still haven't forgiven you for what you did to my Nona! Leaving me in a Phoenix jail for two weeks just so that you could have my Nona all to myself? You know what that did to me? I had to share a small cell with a thug for a cellmate where I repeatedly got beaten and my red hair pulled! And now this, where we had to break into our own apartment! Even after 4 years, you STILL don't care about ANYONE ELSE but YOURSELF! How can I even be friends with you, Samantha Puckett?" Cat, now enraged, storms into their shared bedroom as Sam is left in shock. She then follows Cat into their room while the kids watch in awe. Once both Sam and Cat leave the living room, Stephanie then asks Toby, "well, now that the babysitters are in a terrifying rage, what do you want to do now?"

Toby then answers, "I don't know, want to tear up the place?" Stephanie agrees, and the two begin to chase each other around the apartment, then reach for the dishes in the cupboards and throw them down on the floor. Then they reach for the valuables on the walls, including the guitar near from the front door. Stephanie attempts to play the guitar, but it doesn't work. Then they go for the fridge and try to eat everything in sight. This is all happening while and Sam and Cat continue to argue back and forth in their bedroom.

Sam finally steps in after hearing enough of Cat's ranting and raving with an argument of her own, "well, what was I supposed to do? Your Nona was here making me dinner, doing my laundry and babysitting the kids and I had enough of all that work!" Cat then says, "oh, yeah, you've been working so hard that you don't have time for anything or anyone else? What do you do all day, huh? Sleep in, eat your guts out and put your foot up on the couch watching another episode of Toilet Wars? Sam then reminds Cat, "I work my heart out at Tubba Chicken and still babysit kids, remember that?" It was at this time when Sam and Cat noticed the ruckus the kids were making, shouted together "the kids!" and come out of their bedroom to discover the mess that Toby and Stephanie made all over the living room and kitchen.

"What in the butt is going on here?" Cat asks. Sam then attempts to regain control of the situation by letting out a big, loud "HEY!", and the kids stop what they're doing. "Why did you go and destroy half the apartment?" Stephanie says she thought it was fun, and the two of them were fighting. "We thought this would be the only way to get you two to stop fighting and put your differences aside for the good of us children." Cat agreed with Stephanie, and Sam then asked: "how about we calm down with a little TV?" Sam looks for the remote, finds it and turns on the TV. In an attempt to find reruns of their favorite cancelled show, "That's A Drag", an emergency news bulletin comes on.

"We have some breaking news out of Los Angeles this afternoon. An AMBER Alert has been issued for a 10-year old missing boy named Toby Vega. He is 4 feet 2 inches tall, black hair and brown eyes. He was last seen with his parents, shopping at the Northridge Mall in West Hollywood when his parents, Tom and Caitlin Vega lost sight of him and reported missing three days ago, on July 31. If you have any information about his whereabouts, please contact the Los Angeles Police Department at 909-555-6183 or the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children at 1-800-THE-LOST."

"That's you!", says Cat. "We have to call that number since we have him. Sam stops her, saying "wait a second! Is there any reward money?" Cat then says, "no, it doesn't sound like there's any reward money. But wait a minute, that last name sounds familiar. Vega?" Sam then says, "hey, isn't that the last name of your friend Tori that I met when we found out that Carly was dating that skazzbag Steven?" Cat then says, "Oh, yeah. Tori's still my best friend! She is now a multi-platinum recording artist like me! We did some collaborations while we were both on tour a few months back. And Carly came out to my concert when we played in Italy." Toby, who had been silent for a while now, says "hey! Now I remember how I got lost! My parents took me shopping at the Northridge Mall, we went to this clothing store where I got bored out of my mind. They were taking a long time, I tried to get their attention but I ended up getting lost in the mall. Then I took a bus down here to LA using the $2 my parents gave me and ended up on that street where you guys found me." Cat was puzzled, saying: "I don't remember Tom and Caitlin. Tori or her sister Trina never mentioned them to me." Sam then responds with, "yeah, maybe Tom and Caitlin are their long lost cousins that Tori and Trina never mentioned." Cat then wondered why. Sam picks up the phone and is about to call the police, but at that point the phone rang. Sam picks it up, and it turns out that the hospital is calling.

Sam: "Hello?"

Nurse: "Yes, is this Cat Valentine?"

Sam: "No, this is her roommate. Do you want me to give the phone to her?"

Nurse: "Yes, this is urgent. We have some news about her grandmother."

Sam gives the phone to Cat, telling her it's the hospital with some information about her Nona. Cat talks to the nurse on the other end.

"Where are you now?" Cat says they are back at their apartment in Venice.

Nurse: "We need for you to come back to the hospital as soon as your can. Your grandmother's blood pressure and rate has elevated again and there has been increased toxin levels in her brain. Also she has become more unresponsive and seems to be more out of it minute by minute." Cat says, 'oh my, we'll be there as quickly as possible!" Cat then says to Sam, "we have to go back to the hospital! My Nona's in trouble!" Sam then asks, "what about the kids?" Cat then replies, "well, we have no choice but to take them back to the hospital with us. Sam then mentions about Toby: "it'll be strange if we show up with a homeless kid who we picked up from the street! And what about the police?" Cat says, "the police can wait. My Nona may be dying and I want to be there with her!" Toby then chimes in with, "I can't wait much longer! I want to find my parents now!" it was at this time when the building manager comes into the apartment.

"Well, well, well! Puckett, you've returned!" Sam asks, "oh, crud, what are you doing back here?" The building manager then says, "it seems as though you have been able to break in even after I changed locks and posted this eviction notice. You do know what I have to do now?" He reaches into his phone, attempts to call the police but then Sam stops him. "I'll get you the rent by the end of the month, I promise. But please don't call the cops. I can't go back to juvy now!" "Juvy, aren't you old enough for an adult jail now? Sam then says, "oh, no, not an adult prison. Even though I have many relatives there, I'm not going to survive."

"You've said that over and over again, but still no rent. Your time's up, Puckett. You've crossed the line. Now you're going to pay!" Sam says, "OK, you can throw me out of the apartment, but please don't call the police. I'll make you a deal: I'll have the rent by the end of this month and you can bring your kid sometime Cat and I to babysit. Deal? One more chance?" The building manager gives in and says, "OK, Puckett. Deal's a deal. I'll bring my little 5-year old son for you to babysit this weekend, and you have until the end of the month or you'll be out in the street, or in jail, an ADULT jail! I'll be waiting and watching for you."

Sam then concocts a plan, which will be relevant later on in the story. Cat then asks how Sam will get the money, in which Sam responds she has a plan. The two of them grab the kids and head back to the hospital.

Scene 13: Nona's Last Breaths

Location: Los Angeles, California
Date/Time: August 3, 2018 at 2:00 PM
Building/Landmark: Peter Sinai Hospital
Characters Present: Sam Puckett (played by Jennette McCurdy), Cat Valentine (played by Ariana Grande), Stephanie (Audrey & Spencer's daughter), Toby, Nona (played by Maree Cheatham), Audrey, various nurses/doctors/hospital staff

[After racing back across town, Sam and Cat arrive back at the hospital with Stephanie and Toby. Out of breath, the nurses and doctors welcome them back asking if they are OK. Audrey approaches them and asks them whether or not her daughter was any trouble at all.]

"Oh, no. She was well-behaved and didn't cause us any problems", Sam lied. "Pay us, please." Before Audrey handed her any money, she asked Stephanie, "is what your babysitter saying absolutely true?" Sam gives dirty looks to Stephanie, implying that she should say nothing. "Oh, yeah, Mom. No trouble at all." Audrey then pays Sam & Cat $200 each, where the nurse comes to them and asks Cat to come into her Nona's room.

"Blood pressure 360 over 240. Heart rate decreasing. We're flatlining. Nona, stay with us!" Machines are going haywire, Nona is now in a vegetative state of unconsciousness. Cat comes to her bedside, continuing to call her by name. The heart rate monitor beeps more rapidly. The doctors and nurses try everything they can to save Nona's life. They even use shock paddles as one more attempt to revive Nona, but then the machine ultimately flatlines. "I'm calling it. Time of death, 2:15 PM." Cat then cries at her Nona's bedside as she realizes that her grandmother has now passed, and asks Sam and everyone else to leave the room.

About 30 minutes pass until Cat emerges from her Nona's room and enters the waiting room. Still crying, Sam then comes to comfort her. "I'm here for you, Cat. I may be selfish and not take any responsibility, but I truly care about you and your Nona. Although I did use her, I still think she was a wonderful person and a very good role model and companion for you."

Cat then says to Sam, "thank you, my friend. We're still friends, even after all that you've done. I forgive you now. Leave me alone. I have a few phone calls to make." Sam them leaves Cat and walks back over to her seat near Audrey, Toby and Stephanie. Audrey then asks where Toby came from, and Sam says she and Cat found him on the street and he needed to find his parents.

Cat then scrolls through her contact list and begins calling her parents, who have been away taking care of her brother. "We're coming back home right away", they say. Then Cat calls her friends from Hollywood Arts: Jade, Beck, Robbie, Andre and Tori. She breaks the news of her Nona's passing, in which all of them give their condolences and agree to come home. Jade and Beck now have a couples-play on Broadway, Robbie is now a headline entertainer in Vegas with Rex, and Andre and Tori are still on tour with both of them writing songs together, 4 of which made it to Top-40 radio. Despite their busy schedules, however, they work together to give Nona a proper funeral. This reunion, however could mean much more for Cat and the gang. Soon after, Sam then receives a call from an old, familiar voice she had not heard in a long time. It was Carly.

"Sam! I haven't heard from you in quite a long time. How have you been?" Sam tells Carly about Nona's recent passing, in which Carly is shocked even though she has never met Nona and doesn't know her at all. "I'm sorry for your roommate's loss", she says but then springs back into excitement as she tells her some news. "Well, it turns out that my Dad has been transferred again, this time to the McChord Air Force Base in Washington. Do you know what this means, Sam?" Sam then erupts into a state of glee, anticipating what Carly says next. "I'M COMING HOME, SAM! I'M FINALLY COMING HOME! iCarly is back on the web!" Carly had spent the past 6 years finishing and graduating high school in Italy, and then going on to college to study filmmaking and writing. Inspired by Freddie, who is now an IT consultant for a company in Seattle, Carly has sights on becoming a filmmaker and producer of indie and possibly major motion pictures.

Sam screams for joy, in which Cat turns to her and asks, "what's going on? Why are your screaming at a time like this? Sam tells everyone, "Carly is coming home from Italy! Her dad got transferred to a military base near Seattle! Do you what this means? iCarly is finally coming back on the web after a long 6-year hiatus!" Cat quickly exclaims with a "yay!" and then shares some news of her own. She tells everyone that Jade, Beck, Robbie, Andre and Tori will be coming back to Los Angeles to plan and attend Nona's funeral. Audrey also yells in excitement, because this also meant that she, Spencer and Carly would be a family again. Since Audrey and Spencer got married after Carly left with her father to Italy, Audrey has never actually met her husband's sister before and figured this would be the right opportunity to create a family again.