Formatting Key: Narrative descriptions/exposition points/character traits are bracketed in [italics], characters' names in bold, dialogue/quotes in plain text.
Good Burger Takes Over the Schneiderverse Chapter 9
Scene 16: Robbie Doing Stand Up...Without Rex?
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Date/Time: August 10, 2018 at 11:30 PM
Building/Landmark: Caesar's Palace Las Vegas
Characters Present: Robbie Shapiro (played by Matt Bennett), Cat Valentine (played by Ariana Grande), audience members for Robbie's stand-up comedy show (various)
[We now know what Tori, Trina, and Andre are doing now after graduating from Hollywood Arts. But what about the rest of the Victorious gang? We are about to find out what Robbie and his loyal friend Rex are up to.
The scene starts with a visit to Caesar's Palace on the Vegas strip, where Robbie had booked a stand-up gig about 3 months ago after graduating from UCLA about two years prior, with a Bachelor's degree in theater.
Robbie is without Rex tonight, and has been ever since he graduated from Hollywood Arts. His parents encouraged him to leave Rex behind for college, even though he did not want to. By now, he has forgotten all about Rex and most of his stand-up content revolves around his present life in Las Vegas.]
"So I'm walking on the strip last night, near all those big casinos and all the neon lights just flashing at me. Weird people going up and down the street, you know? First, you got this clown with rusty scissors in his hands, trying to cut your hair off, and then we have this bearded lady on stilts trying to walk on top of the crowd below. Hey, and get this, I even saw these mobsters with heads like the shape of a fish."
The audience laughs along, but is not completely impressed with Robbie's jokes. The comedy was certainly not to the level of Rex's constant sass that Robbie missed so much. His impersonations of celebrities make the audience laugh a little bit more, especially in the case of mistaken identity.
"You know, people like me who look a lot like a celebrity get cases all the time of, 'oh my gosh, it's _" and that's the perfect time to fool them with a little impersonation. Am I right? So, for example, a lot of people mistake me with Andy Samberg. You can see the resemblance, can you?" He points to his black hair and similar facial features. "So there are almost 10 people at once go up to me say, 'OMG, it's Andy Samberg!' and I have to correct them and say, 'no, no, I'm Robbie Shapiro' but then the people don't believe me so eventually I have to give in and act like Andy Samberg himself.'
He then goes into a rap impersonation, similar to how Andy Samberg always rapped on Saturday Night Live. Then, Robbie continues the impersonation by parodying the intro number he did at the 2015 Emmy Awards, where he was singing about how he literally watched every show. Just as he was about to wrap up, Robbie's phone rang while he was on the stage. It wasn't on silent or vibrate, it literally rang for the entire audience and backstage crew to hear.
"Excuse me, fellas. Sorry about that, let me get this. Just hang on a sec." The audience wants Robbie to continue without answering his phone, however he sees the caller and then just stops dead for a brief moment. It was Cat Valentine, calling him about the death of her Nona. Robbie froze. He had not seen or heard from Cat, let alone any of his Hollywood Arts friends for many years now. This moment in time brought him to a standstill in thought. Robbie was thinking about how he had transformed as a person since graduation from Hollywood Arts, the new life he built for himself here in Vegas, and all the memories he had chosen to leave behind.
On the inside, he really did not want to become a stand-up comedian. Instead, he wanted to work in technical theater, preferably on Broadway, working for a big-name marquee production. However, after applying for several jobs straight out of college, no one hired him. Robbie thinks it has something to do with his quirky personality, and the fact that he faced major competition from theater techs who have had many more years of experience than him. Therefore, Robbie has been discouraged from applying to any more tech theater jobs.
Instead, he landed the stand-up comedy gig through a friend of Sinjin's, who worked in the Vegas area at the time of Robbie's graduation from college. Robbie and Sinjin stayed in touch all four years, even though the two of them went to different schools. Sinjin went off to Stanford University to study environmental science and biology, to follow his knack and interest in moss and decomposition of garbage, as shown in the Victorious episode Tori Fixes Beck and Jade when Robbie made a trap in an attempt to get his butterfly out of Cat's ear.
The phone continues to ring for a few seconds, but Robbie answers it. "Hello?", says Robbie. The audience, still silent, now is anxious to hear what Cat has to say.
"Robbie?", Cat says in a somewhat faint, desperate voice. "Yes, it's me", Robbie answers. "I've got something to tell you. It's really bad news."
At this moment, Robbie recalled a time when he and Cat broke bad news to their Hollywood Arts schoolmates through music. After being challenged my their teacher, Mr. Sikowitz to improvise giving bad news in a non-negative way, the two of them would improvise a small song with Robbie playing the guitar and Cat singing along with him. Cat and Robbie would make up lyrics that addressed the bad news at hand but would disguise the harsh, sad message in a fun and more enjoyable manner. For example, they had to tell Sikowitz' neighbor about the fate of his run-over go-kart, Trina about the fact that the boy she was supposed to go on a date with backed out because he realized she was too crazy, and Beck about the fact that his car now smells like urine.
Even though the situations themselves weren't all that fun, at least Robbie had fun memories of breaking bad news. However, Robbie knew that this time something serious had truly happened.
"Something terrible has happened to my Nona", Cat says in a sad and concerned tone in her voice. By now, the audience is listening intensively and the room is so silent one can hear a pin drop. "She got run over by a garbage truck several days ago while riding on a motorcycle and suffered some serious injuries. My friend Sam found her and they took her to the hospital."
Robbie was shocked to hear this news and said to Cat, "That sounds horrible. Is your Nona OK?"
Cat then begins to cry as she is about to tell Robbie, "No, Robbie. Her injuries were too severe. She didn't make it. My Nona's gone now. I'm telling you this because you're the only one who has really been there for me the most. In fact, you have been the only guy I have really liked more than a friend. I can't, I can't…" at this point, Cat could no longer hold in her tears anymore and sobbed through the phone. The audience was very moved by this. Cat continued passionately to show her sadness of this situation. She kept bawling until there were no tears left to cry.
Robbie attempted to console her: "Cat, it's OK. I know you are going through a really rough time. If there is anything I can do to help just name it."
Cat stopped her crying at this point and said to Robbie: "that's why I called. I knew that you were out of all of my old friends from Hollywood Arts would understand my situation the most. I need for you to come back to Los Angeles, not only to help me through my grief process but plan a proper celebration of life ceremony to say goodbye to my Nona."
The audience, having listened to Cat's voice, is now saddened by the news of Nona's passing. Of course Robbie would jump at the chance to reunite with his one true love again, although he still doesn't really know how to express his feelings effectively to Cat. Robbie is also uncertain of what Cat feels about him years after they went their separate ways. Based on how Cat sounded over the phone, she seemed sincere enough to still care about him. But there was still some ambiguity to Robbie whether she saw him just as a good friend or more than that.
Robbie finally answers, to Cat, over the phone: "Ok. I will come back to LA and help you plan your Nona's funeral."
Cat cries again as soon as she hears the word funeral, and then reminds Robbie, starting with a gasp: "Robbie, we don't use that word! I prefer to use the term celebration of life ceremony.
Robbie apologizes to Cat: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll be cognizant of my word choices next time."
Cat then says, "it's OK, Robbie. At least I know that you will be there for me. I've missed you so much and I really want you to come home. We have so much to catch up on!"
Robbie then says, "You mean it, Cat? You missed me a lot?"
Cat then says, "oh, yeah. I haven't had anyone except Sam to keep me sane while I was on tour, and you've been the one to keep me grounded. Remember all of the adventures we've had? Strange ones, for sure but they were fun all the way! Like that one time we had to give up our pajelehoocho's to those street thugs because of our deal with Sikowitz that we had to say yes to everything?"
Robbie instantly remembered and added: "Oh, yes! I wanted for us to snoodle because we couldn't find a way to walk back home without exposing our undergarments. But you said it was gross, so instead we rode in a garbage can and yelled 'whee' together in order to make the trip seem faster."
Cat said, "And that helped a little. How did we get home that night? All I remember is that our trash can crashed into a street light pole and we ended up bumping our heads into it. Then the trash can tipped backwards and we ended up swimming in garbage. Similar to how Sam rescued me from that awful garbage truck that would have eaten us alive!"
Robbie said, "I remember you telling me that after it happened. Sam is really a good friend at heart, even after she used me to get back at you that one night when you were fadoodling with Freddie in order to get back at Sam for stealing Jade."
Cat vividly recalls these memories, saying: 'Yeah, I almost forgot about that. But that's behind me now that we made up after that. All is good now. So when do you think you'll be back in LA?"
Robbie says, "I'll pack my bags tonight and will be on the first flight tomorrow morning."
Cat exclaims with a big "Yay!" and then asks Robbie, "will there be meatballs?"
Robbie obligatorily answers that question with, "there would. Of course there would."
The audience awws at this moment and Cat exits the stage. The audience then erupts into a giant amount of applause as Robbie walks by the stage manager.
The stage manager grabs him and says: "Robbie, what are you doing? You still have a whole set to finish. Go back out there are make 'em laugh!"
He says back: "Are you kidding? The audience wouldn't want to listen to a single second of anymore lame jokes I had prepared. Listen to them now. They're more interested in me getting back together with Cat in Los Angeles, which is where I belong."
The stage manager then snaps at Robbie with: "Sir, you're under contract with Caesar's Palace and my company. You leave here and you're fired!"
Robbie, sarcastically remarks: "Oh, no. Too bad. Why don't you give the job to someone who really deserves it, someone who is genuinely funny? You know what, it's not me. I'm outta here. Hasta la vista, Vegas!"
Robbie then slaps the stage manager, walks out of Caesar's Palace and back to his run-down apartment he only pays $250 a month for. He begins to pack everything in his suitcases and books the first available flight to Los Angeles.
Scene 17: Beck and Jade Break a Leg on Broadway
Location: New York, NY
Date/Time: August 10-11, 2018 at 12:00 AM
Building/Landmark: Broadway
Characters Present: Beck Oliver (played by Avan Jogia), Jade West (played by Elizabeth Gillies), Cat Valentine (played by Ariana Grande), cast, crew and audience for Beck & Jade's couples play (various)
[It's closing night of "A Tale Of Two Couples", the very successful Broadway play that Beck and Jade have been producing for 3 years now. The premise of the play revolves around two fictional couples with completely opposite personalities and life situations.
One couple is living the absolute perfect life together, happy all the time with all the fortune and money they could ever ask for, while the other is living minimum wage and constantly argues all the time with rage. They just seem to be the most incompatible couple on the planet Earth. Both couples live in the same apartment building and interact with each other on a regular basis.
As for Beck and Jade, they decided to attend college in the New York metropolitan area after graduating from Hollywood Arts. They have decided to stay close ever since and thought the perfect way to spend their post-college years was doing what they both loved, which was to get into the theater business.
And what better place to jump into the theater business than Broadway, the theater capital of the world? Jade and Beck studied theater at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts and won first place for an Original Play competition held at the end of their senior year.
The prize was an immediate Broadway adaptation of the winning production. Beck and Jade worked hard with some of the most prestigious Broadway producers in the land, moving their couples play onto the big stage.]
[Going back to the present moment, the audience watches intensively as the final scene of "A Tale of Two Couples" is about to begin. The cast and crew are ready yet emotional to see the play they have worked on for years finally wrap up forever.
The stage shows the two apartment living rooms side by side, as the wife of Couple B (the one who always fights) aims a gun and knife at her husband and yells so loud Couple A (the always happy, rich one across the hall) can hear every word.
Both husband and wife of Couple A listen to what their neighbors are saying, concerned because they know what is going on is not at all good news.]
Melinda, the wife of Couple B says: "You know why I have to do this to you tonight, don't you?"
Herald, the husband of Couple B answers: "Just calm down. Put the knife and the gun DOWN!"
Melinda comes back with: "Oh, why don't you just admit it that you've been hogging the remote too long?"
Herald says: "What are you talking about?"
Melinda comes back with: "Oh, don't play games with me, mister!"
Herald tries to deny it even further, and then snaps back with: Oh, why would you even accuse me of that? You know I like the same movies and shows as you do.
Melinda then goes into a monologue: Yeah, right! You won't let me catch up on any more episodes of Stranger Things. You know what, it's not just that. Ever since we got married 5 years ago, we have just been at each other's throats, constantly and non-stop! My mother was right. You and I just don't fit. I mean, we have completely opposite interests. I like to watch horror movies while you'd just pleasure yourself with your little action flicks! We never see eye to eye. Clearly we don't share the same values like love, commitment and honesty. I think the whole thing was just doomed from the start! I'm glad our divorce papers will be finalized in just two days because I deserve better than this! I don't deserve you and your little lying and cheating games anymore! I'm done with you, and soon you will be done permanently!
Herald says: No, Melinda, please! I can be good again. We can fix this! You'll go to prison for life. Are you sure you want to kill me? Please…
At this moment Melinda charges toward Herald with the knife and proceeds to stab him directly in the chest area. They fight, struggle and chase each other all around the living room, making a mess and destroying all the furniture in the process. Eventually, Gabrielle and Jeremy storm in just in time and take the gun and knife away from Melinda. Herald is now safe.
Gabrielle, the wife of Couple A shouts out: "What in the blazes is going on here?"
Jeremy, the husband of Couple A tells the fighting couple: Yeah, we heard some loud screaming and fighting.
Herald: My wife wants to kill me all because I don't let her watch any of the stuff that I hate!
Melinda: I knew it! So you were trying to sabotage my TV viewing habits! You even deleted all the episodes from the last season off my DVR!
Gabrielle: Now please stop it! Let's not let a subtle difference in TV and movie viewing preferences cause you to be in this deadly situation! Now, both of you have had your ups and downs, but it doesn't warrant having to kill for it. Now both of you, look into each other's eyes and tell each other you're sorry.
Melinda and Herald apologize, with Herald saying: "We fought for no reason. I wish we didn't file for divorce."
Melinda comes back and reminds Herald: "Well, it's too late. I've already filed the papers with the court and in two days, we're over."
Herald asks: "Well, there has to be some way to reverse the process?"
Melinda responds with: "I don't think so. I'm sorry. The divorce has been finalized. There is nothing that we can do."
Herald, realizing that this was the end, tells his soon-to-be-ex-wife: "Well, it's been nice knowing you. Our relationship was magical. Even though we had some rough patches, I really enjoyed our time together."
Melinda then says: "Well, I might as well pack my bags and leave early (she was planning to leave early anyway). I'm going to walk out that door, slowly and never to return."
Herald yells out: "Wait, don't go! At least just yet. Let's spend these last two days together and milk them for all they're worth."
Jeremy barges in, telling Herald: "Let the woman do what she wants."
Gabrielle comes in with: "Yeah. After what we've learned through our relationship, it's best to just let each other go when the time is right. You know, we may seem like the perfect couple on the outside but deep down inside, you'll realize that we have serious issues that we, too have to deal with. We just try to make it look like we're perfectly happy just to hide our true inner conflict."
Melinda affirms Gabrielle's words, saying: "Oh. I didn't realize...now I understand. Thank you for coming clean." She begins to walk to the door. Herald will still have none of it.
Herald exclaims to her: "Wait! I'm going to give you until the count of ten to change your mind. By the time I reach ten, I hope you put down those bags, close that door and stay with me for the last two days we have together! Herald slowly counts to ten: "1...2...3...4…"
Melinda continues walking to the door, opens it, steps outside, closes it and then pauses for a brief moment to possibly reconsider her decision. But then she thinks back to the events of tonight and decides it's the best thing for her to move on now.
Herald is still counting: "...5...6...7...8…"
Melinda walks away from the door, packs her things in her car and then drives away, leaving her marriage behind.
Herald finishes counting: "...9...10!" He eventually realizes that Melinda will not be coming back, begins to cry as Jeremy and Gabrielle console him.
[The stage fades to black and the curtains close as Beck and jade's play, "A Tale of Two Couples", finally ends for the last time. The audience roars after seeing a spectacular performance, while Beck and Jade look at each other with astonishment as they both knew their play was a smash hit. The cast returns with their final bows of the evening. The audience leaves the theater with mixed feelings about what they just saw. Beck and Jade glance at each other one more time, beginning to reminisce on their own personal experiences that inspired some of the scenes from their play, particularly the final scene that just wrapped up.]
Jade starts: "Oh, man. Did you see how Melinda carried herself throughout the whole scene? I mean, her ability to stand up and maintain her own humility even in tough times was amazing!"
Beck then adds: "Yeah, and Herald's dramatic count to ten? Kind of makes you think back to when we were at Hollywood Arts! You did the same thing to me, and then we broke up. But it wasn't for long because we got back together after you sang your song at the Full Moon Jam."
Jade responds by saying: "which was amazing, by the way. You know what, I'm glad we're back together. That was really a time for us to collect our thoughts and re-evaluate who we were as individuals and as a couple. But look what we have done since then?"
Beck says, "I know. We've been able to work together on this amazing play and not cut each other's heads off." Jade says: "I'm glad for that. Even though we want to kill each other at times, like the other day when I wanted to be like Melinda and threaten to stab you but didn't, we seem to hit it off."
[It was at that moment when Beck and Jade pull out their phones after hearing a loud ring. They both got the same notification from Cat about her Nona's passing. Both of them, especially Jade, have always been concerned for Cat since the three of them have been best friends for a long time. Both of them missed the call from Cat while their play was going on. Jade taps Cat's number to return the call. The phone rings a few times before Cat finally answers.]
Jade tells Cat: "Hey, it's Jade. Sorry Beck and I missed your call. What's up?"
Cat answers with: "I'm afraid I have some terrible news. It's about my Nona. She's passed on now."
Jade is surprised and asks how this incident happened.
Cat tells Jade: "She was riding on the back of a motorcycle and apparently got run over by a garbage truck. I didn't see it happen personally because I was on tour in London but Sam told me all about it."
Jade tried to remember and then asks Cat: "Sam? You mean your roommate who I met four years ago? The same Sam who I hung out with and was going to jump the tuna but never did because you tried to do it in her place?"
Cat answers with: "Yeah, that Sam."
Jade recalls: "Oh, now I remember. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear about your Nona. She was a great woman."
Cat then thanks Jade for what she has done to create her living arrangements with Nona: "I know. I owe it all to you for helping me move there. You and Robbie. The both of you cared enough to follow me into my private room at Hollywood Arts and you especially were kind enough to talk to my parents and have me live with Nona. You have no idea how much I owe you for that. Otherwise, I would have been in that stinkin' attic room at school for possibly the next two years. At the time, I thought it was the greatest place in the world, at least better than my Uncle Walter and Aunt Pearl's place. But moving into my Nona's apartment was the best move I have made."
Jade responds: "Yeah, well, I cared enough about you then and I still do. We go a long way back to our short stint on Broadway together. If there is anything you want Beck and I to do, then just name it."
Cat then explains her main message: "That's why I called, actually. Since this is a tough time for me, I can't plan my Nona's celebration of life ceremony alone. I've called all of my friends from Hollywood Arts: Tori, Andre, Robbie to come back to LA and help me plan the ceremony together. Please, I need you guys now more than ever."
Jade then asks: "Why not just call it a funeral? It's more morbid that way."
Cat then snaps at Jade: "Don't say that word! It upsets me to use the word funeral because it just makes me sad. I prefer the term celebration of life ceremony because it depicts a more positive spin on Nona's life."
Jade reminds Cat: "Well, you do know that I love anything and everything related to death. But not when it happens to a very close friend. Beck and I will be there in Los Angeles to help you."
She then hangs up the phone and explains to Beck the situation. Beck replies with: "Oh, man. Poor Cat. I hope she is pulling herself through. It must be hard for her to lose someone so near and dear to her."
Jade affirms this statement with: "Yeah. It was even tougher when Robbie and I had to follow her to a small room at school where she has been hiding. The only reason she lived there is because her parents had to deal with her brother. We've never met him, but according to Cat, he sounds pretty weird and messed up. Even I can be weird and messed up sometimes, but I am no way on the level of Cat's brother. I hope we meet him sometime." Beck says, "yeah, that would be...interesting."
Jade then says: "Come on, let's go. We better pack tonight." Beck asks why, in which jade responds: "we're getting on the first plane out tomorrow morning and we're heading to LA." Beck and Jade are glad to make it back home, even though they wonder why they haven't gotten married yet. This thought will linger in their minds for a long time.