Formatting Key: Narrative descriptions/exposition points/character traits are bracketed in [italics], characters' names in bold, dialogue/quotes in plain text.

Good Burger Takes Over the Schneiderverse Chapter 9

Scene 18: Colonel Shay Retires from Service

Location: Florence, Italy
Date/Time: August 11, 2018 at 7:30 PM
Building/Landmark: US Air Force Base, Carly's new apartment in Florence
Characters Present: Col. Steven Shay (played by David Chisum), Lt. Jones (Col. Shay's lifelong friend)

[At the US Air Force Base stationed in Florence, Italy, Col. Steven Shay has officially announced his retirement from service after almost 25 years. He is meeting with his supervisor, Second Lieutenant Chris Jones to receive his final orders and instructions before leaving the base for good.]

"It was an absolute honor and pleasure having you on board with us for the last 30 years", Lt. Jones said as he tried to hold his composure together and not cry. "You have done quite a lot in service to our country, and there are just not enough words to say thank you for all you have done."

Col. Shay then steps in with: " I don't know how to say thank you for all that you have done for me personally. You, of all people, have been at my side since day one. You trained me, mentored me, and came to my rescue in my deepest times of need over the last 30 years. I know you'll do great in the future, and I wish you the best of luck."

He pauses to reflect, before continuing on to talk about Carly: "But now it is time for me to finally move on in life. I look forward to all of the wonderful things that civilian life has to offer. For one thing, I have a beautiful, intelligent daughter who just graduated college. She has done a lot to make me proud over the past 4 years since she moved overseas from Seattle and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that she will continue to do wonderful things for many years to come. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Carly, even while doing the best I can to defend the skies of Italy and Europe from foreign enemies. I know she is very proud of me and after today, I can focus all my energy on spending as much time with her as possible."

Lt. Jones thinks about everything his best friend said, and then commented back: "I know. Based on everything you've told me over the years, you have some special gem of a girl there. Even though you will be sorely missed here, I know that spending time with and supporting Carly will be the best thing you can ever do. Please stay in touch, and don't forget your veterans benefits."

"So what's next for me?", asks Col. Shay.

Lt. Jones explains the discharge procedures: "Well, now what's going to happen is you are free to leave the base at anytime. You are now a veteran of the United States military and are entitled to any and all benefits that you are now eligible to receive.. Even though the VA will be your primary point of contact from here on out, I would encourage you to stay in contact with our Active Duty officers back in the States at a nearby base. You may choose any other base to serve out of if that is the case, if you want to stay close to home. McCallan is the closest, but I recommend Edwards in California because the living conditions and the people are better there".

Col Shay says: "Thanks, good advice." He reaches in to hug Lt. Jones, who then thanks him one last time for his service. Col. Shay proceeds to walk towards the exit of the base where a self-driving Zipper Car is waiting for him.

"What's your destination?" the voice inside the car asks. "Viale America In Rome, please."

[This is the location of Carly's new apartment that she got after graduating from college in Rome. She moved there after deciding that life on the base was too boring for her and wanted to become a more independent woman. The Zipper Car acknowledges Col. Shay's request and begins its 3-hour drive south to Rome.]

Scene 19: Carly and her Dad Head for Home

Location: Rome, Italy
Date/Time: August 11, 2018 at 10:00 PM
Building/Landmark: roads near Rome, Carly's new apartment on Viale America, Rome International Airport
Characters Present: Col. Steven Shay (played by David Chisum), Carly Shay (played by Miranda Cosgrove)

[Carly had lived on his father's base in Florence until she graduated from high school. At that point, she left and headed for a college in nearby Rome to study filmmaking and writing. She then rented an apartment there and begin to live there full time while her father continued to serve.

They kept in touch on a constant basis, keeping each other in the loop on each other's lives. Carly was having the best time through college, and her dad knew how important his job was to protect his country from foreign enemies. Carly had not seen her father, in person, though in a long time since her move to Rome.]

"I'm sure Carly will be glad to see me. This is the first time I have actually visited her new place. I wonder what it's like", Col. Shay wondered as the Zipper car weaved through the Italian roads, about a half an hour away from Viale America.

[Meanwhile, Carly was alone in her new apartment, which is very similar in design and layout to the Seattle loft they were living in, only ½ the size. The kitchen and bedroom designs were almost identical. Carly was putting the finishing touches on her new indie film project she had been working on for the past year. This one was about an entrepreneurial journalist who travels the world and captures the most influential stories through her own newspaper, yet struggled to keep up with the times.

In the vast world of the Internet and social media, this female journalist still took pleasure in publishing her stories through print only. As a result, her sales continue to fall although a few regular customers have stayed loyal throughout the past 25 years. She was about to develop the camera angles for the various shots in the movie, when she instantly thought of Freddie.

"OK, how about we have the camera pan from here to here, chasing Nancy, named after the famous girl detective Nancy Drew, down the street as she tries to catch new next story. Then this bizarre guys runs like a madman in the opposite direction and into a bank. He attempts to rob the store, at which point the camera will zoom into the bank but won't quite enter it just yet. Nancy runs into the bank trying to capture the…"

[Carly pauses for a moment to reflect on the idea she had just come up with. She realized the idea was lame and didn't really know the best camera angle to capture that particular moment in her story. She knew that Freddie was the best at coming up with these things and not her.]

"Oh man," Carly said as she just lied in her bed, thinking. "I know I'm not the best at coming up with this stuff. If Freddie were here, he'd know what to do. He'd probably use his tech-nerd talk to mention all of the 64-bit hoozy-what's and the 3.5 millimeter 4K HD lens capturing the magic. It's been several years since I've seen you, Freddie. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch, just real busy. But I'm sure you'll be proud of me when I tell you I've been following in your footsteps. I really look up to you."

[Although this experience in Italy was fun and rewarding, Carly also missed her friends back home. She had wondered what kinds of trouble Sam had gotten into all these years in LA, as well as Freddie's feelings for her after she left for Italy.

Carly still remembered their last kiss together the night she said goodbye, and Freddie's return of the kiss and his triumphant, victorious arm raising afterwards. This meant that Freddie finally got the girl he deserved: Carly. Not to dismiss his dating adventures with Sam, they were important.

However, both Freddie and Sam knew their relationship was not going to last, and they were not really compatible with each other. Even Sam was glad deep down that Freddie finally belonged to Carly.

Their relationship seemed to fade out about a year after Carly moved to Italy. She was so immersed in her new life and experiences overseas, she focused all of her attention and energy on them instead of what was happening back in Seattle.

Freddie also appeared to move on, since he expressed more concern towards Sam especially after her roommate Cat lied to him about Sam being run over by a Sport Utility Vehicle in Los Angeles. Turns out it was just a ploy for Cat to steal Freddie and get back at Sam for stealing Jade.

Ironically, Carly had no knowledge of these events as she was busy studying overseas to become an inspiring journalist and filmmaker herself, inspired by Freddie's camera work on her own web show. She was surprised that Sam nor Freddie did not tell her about any of this, since all three of them vowed never to keep secrets from each other after Carly found out that Sam kissed Freddie for the first time, because both of them revealed live on iCarly that they have never kissed anyone, ever.

Carly decided to lay down on her bed, just trapped in thoughts about Freddie, Sam and life back home. She eventually drifted off for a 30-minute nap when Col. Shay arrived in front of her apartment. He had trouble finding the place but eventually knocked on her door, waking her up.]

He shouts: "Carly? Are you in there?" Carly gets up from the bed, moves into the kitchen and answers the door. She screams for joy and the two of them embrace into a quick hug.

After the two release themselves from each other, Carly tells her father: "I did not know you would be here! What are you doing all the way in Rome? Why aren't you on the base in Florence?"

Col. Shay answers with: "That's the reason why I came down. Listen, I have some very important news to tell you. It's about my status in the Air Force."

"I know, you told me that you are being transferred over to the McChord Base near Seattle. I'm so excited to go back home and reunite with Sam and Freddie and iCarly's starting back up again and…"

Col. Shay stopped Carly's excitement and told her daughter: "Actually, Carly, I'm not being transferred after all."

[This immediately brought a sense of disappointment to Carly's face. She had now assumed that her dad would instead be staying in Italy instead of returning home. Even though Carly loved her experience here and all the opportunities she had overseas, she was finally ready to come home.]

"I'm actually retiring from the Air Force and the military completely. My duties are officially done forever!"

[Carly's tears of disappointment now turn into tears of excitement and joy, as her dreams of coming back home and reuniting with her old friends are still coming true.]

"Yay!", Carly exclaimed as she jumped up to hug her father one more time. "You gave me a scare there for a minute," she said. Then Carly asked: "I thought you loved serving your country and were proud of being in the Air Force. What made you decide to retire now?"

"Well, Carly, I realized that after serving for almost 25 years, I have put enough into defending the United States from foreign enemies from the skies and so I figured now would be the best time, if any to focus my attention on more important things in life. You know, being in the military and away from my family has given me a lot of time to think about what I have been missing back home: vacations, actually good tasting food, and you."

Carly smiled as she heard what her dad just said. She then asked, "Do you really mean that, Dad?"

Col. Shay nodded and explained to her daughter: "Listen, I realize that during the most foundational years of your life, I have been absent for most of it. Back when you started this whole iCarly thing, I was deeply proud of you and looked forward to watching as many episodes of that show as I could. I know there were times when I couldn't tune in, but I tried my best to catch a show here and there."

Col. Shay continued: "Even your friends Freddie and Sam set up that connection to my base for my birthday several years ago so I could watch your show. I heard that you got in trouble for that but, hey, at least you got to meet former first lady Michelle Obama. And I heard that she even appeared on an episode of iCarly!"

Remembering the events of that day, Carly then said: "Yes! That was quite an honor to have her on. Even though I had the jeebies thinking about it when we thought we would be going to jail for what we did, having the first lady on iCarly was such an awesome experience!"

Carly's dad brought the conversation back: "Anyway, kid, I'm proud of what you've done. Even when I thought bringing you over here with me would give me more time to spend with you, apparently that wasn't the case. Yeah, during your time living on the base, I got to see you learn, grow and graduate high school. But ever since you left for college here in Rome, our face-to-face contact has been minimal. Partly, that's been my fault. You see, my assignments have intensified over the last four years since the threat from the Middle East has been more aggressive and…"

Carly stopped her father mid-sentence: " it's not your fault. You did what you needed to do to protect and serve your country and your fellow airmen. Please don't blame yourself for that. I know I'm to blame, too."

"Ever since I began college, I was just so passionate about everything I was doing because not only did I want to prove myself to the world, I also wanted to impress Freddie. I wanted him to be proud of what I have accomplished."

Col. Shay, surprised to hear Freddie's name mentioned, asked Carly: "Is that what all of this is really about? Impressing Freddie and making him proud?"

Carly then answered: "Uhhh, no, not everything, not all of it. It's true that I went to college to make a new life for myself and show the world what I can do beyond my little web show, but I looked up to Freddie and was really inspired by what he had done and wanted to follow in his footsteps."

Looking back on it now, I realize what great contributions he made to the show with his technical expertise and his leadership. After all, he was the one who kept the show running and he helped us settle a fight that almost ruined our friendship."

[Carly was thinking back to the first season of her show when she and Sam were arguing about a special shirt Sam traded away for two Cuddlefish concert tickets that she got from rip-off Rodney.

Carly was mad at Sam and just wanted her to apologize for what she did, but Sam refused to because she traded away the shirt for something they could do together.

However, as the argument intensified, Carly felt like she didn't want to go to the concert anymore because Sam still refused to apologize for giving up the shirt. Sam ended up going anyway with another girl, which took their fight to the next level.

It was ultimately up to Freddie to help the two of them settle their argument once and for all. And he did it by having them settle their case live on iCarly with their hair in ponytails each attached to a pulley system.

If any of them spoke out of turn, Freddie would yank on their hair. He also had the fans of the show vote on which girl was right, but he also included a third option which essentially said the two of them should just make up.

The third option actually got the most number of votes (over 200,000) and with the help of Freddie, Carly and Sam eventually made up and put their silly feud behind them. But it wouldn't have ended without Freddie's initiative. Carly, reflecting back on it now, was grateful to him for stepping up in that moment like he did.]

"I remember you telling me about this", Col. Shay said. "Weren't you and Sam fighting about the T-shirt you made for her and the fact that she gave it away for some Cuddeflish concert tickets ticked you off?"

Carly answers with: "Yeah. And then to have the nerve to go to the concert without me wazzed me off even further! But that's behind me now. Look where we are years later. I've been thinking about Sam and Freddie, and what they are doing without me. I hope Sam's been able to stay out of trouble without both of us keeping her in line. Even though Sam and I don't talk as often as we used to, I do know that she's been staying in Los Angeles with her new roomate Cat."

"Who's Cat?" Col. Shay asked.

"Oh, she went to that performing arts school in Los Angeles along with Tori Vega. I knew Tori because she happened to be cheating on my then-boyfriend Steven," Carly said. "We ended up meeting at a party hosted by Kenan Thompson, where we used iCarly to expose Steven for being the lying and cheating skunk bag that he truly is. Then we all sang an awesome song together after Sam destroyed a puppet in an epic freestyle rap battle!"

Col. Shay responded: "You never told me about any of that stuff! Oh, how I missed what went on during that part of your life. That's why I am hoping to catch up with you from here on out. Listen, I'd love to hear more about this stuff later on. We have plenty of time to catch up on all the juicy deets, but right now, we have a plane to catch. Our plane leaves in 2 hours! You have some packing to do, come on!"

Carly was excited to hear those words from her dad, but also knew that she couldn't leave the apartment right away. "I can't just leave! I haven't put in my 30-days notice yet, and the landlord already went home for the night."

"Well, you can call your landlord first thing tomorrow morning, but in the meantime pack as much as you can and let's get out of here" said Col. Shay.

Carly knew that she could take care of these housekeeping details later. All she cared about was heading back home. So she began packing as much as she could take at the time, including several changes of clothes, her personal belongings. computer and filmmaking equipment. The whole packing process took about 1 hour.

Col. Shay said: "wait, what's all that stuff? Your camera and studio equipment? We can't fit that all on the plane."

Carly then responded: "Well, I wanted to bring it to impress Freddie. He would be so amazed at all of this high-tech stuff that he would fall in love with me again."

Col. Shay then smirked and said: "Did he really love you in the first place?"

Carly then dismissed his dad's joke, and then said: "of course he did. He was just too afraid to show it. And of course Sam got in the way, so it was hard to tell at first. Enough of this nonsense, let's board that plane and get to the airport!"

[With bags and property in hand, Carly and her father are finally ready to leave the apartment and Italy for good on their journey back to the United States for a reunion with Sam, Freddie, Spencer, Gibby and everyone else back home. Col. Shay requests another self-driving Zipper car to take them to the airport.

It is now 11:00 PM local time. The two of them go through security and customs without any problems, however they have trouble finding their gate. Carly blames her dad for this.

Eventually they find their gate when Carly remarks something about the itinerary on their tickets.]

"it says here that we have a 3-hour layover at JFK in New York. I thought we were taking a direct flight from here back to Seattle. And it also says we're going to Los Angeles. Why don't you want to go home first?" Carly points out.

Col. Shay explained: "These tickets were the cheapest ones at the time. If we flew directly from Italy to Seattle it would have cost us twice as much! Also, we are not going to Seattle right away because I thought it'd be cool if we planned this surprise for Sam since she lives in LA. We'd gather Freddie, Gibby and Spencer and all arrange for them to meet us in Los Angeles once we land."

"Oh yeah, that is an awesome idea! Well, hopefully we won't have any more mishaps from here on out!" Carly said.

{They board the plane and leave Italy for an overnight red-eye for JFK. However, their plans didn't go as expected when they landed.]

Scene 20: Getting the iCarly Gang Back Together Again

Location: New York, NY and Seattle, Washington
Date/Time: August 12, 2018 at 4:50 AM
Building/Landmark: John F Kennedy International Airport, Bushwell Plaza
Characters Present: Col. Steven Shay (played by David Chisum), Carly Shay (played by Miranda Cosgrove), Spencer Shay (played by Jerry Trainor), Freddie Benson (played by Nathan Kress), Gibby Gibson (played by Noah Munck), Drake Parker (played by Drake Bell), Josh Nichols (played by Josh Peck)

[Carly and her father, Col. Shay successfully land in New York after a long 8-hour flight from Italy. Both of them are really glad to be home, but realize this is only their first leg of the journey. In addition, they have some unpleasant surprises waiting for them after they get off the plane and enter the airport.

At first, fellow passengers and airport personnel automatically recognize Carly from her web show and they scream and shout, saying things like, 'it's Carly from iCarly' and 'the web show star has returned!'

This creates an out-of-control mob-like situation, where fellow passengers even try to gang up on Carly and run her down, as they each try to ask Carly to take selfies with them. Fortunately, Col. Shay steps in with his military defense tactics and protects her daughter, acting as a human shield. However, the mob gets to him too and Col. Shay is unable to pull them off. Eventually, airport security comes in to intervene and eventually regains control over the situation.

"Well, that was the scariest thing I have ever experienced in my entire life", Carly says. "Thank goodness you were here to protect me."

"I had to do something to stop a mob of wild iCarly fans from trampling my daughter", Col. Shay answers in response.

"Yeah, but even you couldn't keep them off me", Carly remarked. "There you were, being your old tough, military self but your efforts were worthless. Thankfully, the security guards did the job for you."

Col. Shay comes back with: "Hey, that wasn't nice. I tried my best, but those fans just came out of nowhere. I didn't have enough time to react."

Carly then says: "Well, what are we going to do now for three hours?"

"I have an idea. Let's call Freddie, Gibby and Spencer while we wait for our next plane and arrange for them to meet us in Los Angeles while we land. That way, we'll all be there to surprise Sam. Here, take out your phone. Let's call Spencer first."

[Carly says OK, pulls out her phone and dials Spencer's number. She is a little bit nervous since she and her big brother haven't talked since she left Seattle for Italy 7 years ago.

At that same moment, Spencer along with Freddie and Gibby all slept over in Apartment 8-C in Bushwell Plaza after having an insane crazy hat and spaghetti taco party the previous night. All of them were extremely tired from partying hard. As Spencer's phone rang, he woke up to answer it.]

"Hello?" Spencer answers the phone.

"Hey Spencer", Carly says. "Long time no talk."

Spencer is floored after hearing Carly's voice. He didn't know how to react after the two of them stayed out of contact for so long. "Hey, sis, it's so great to hear from you. What's up?"

Carly then tells Spencer: "Well, you won't believe this, but guess what: Dad and I are on our way back home."

Spencer yells with a loud "WHAAATTTT?" and wakes Freddie and Gibby up as a result.

"What's going on here? says Freddie. "Why'd you wake us up?"

Gibby then says: "Yeah, it's very bad news when you wake up the Gibbeh" (using his strange way of pronouncing his name that became his catchphrase).

Spencer says: "Sorry. I have Carly on the phone. She says she and Dad are on their way back home from Italy."

Both Freddie and Gibby enthusiastically jump for joy at this news. Freddie exclaims: "Really? Carly's actually coming home?" He is very excited because he knows that he and Carly may actually get back together and experience being an actual couple for the first time.

Spencer asks Carly where she is, and then Carly speaks into the phone again: "Well, actually we're at JFK in New York and we have to spend 3 more hours at the airport for a layover. But then we're going directly to Los Angeles."

Spencer asks: "Why LA and not back in Seattle?

Carly then replies: "Because Sam's still in Los Angeles. My dad came up with this brilliant plan for all of us to throw some sort of surprise party for Sam and have you, Freddie and Gibby all meet us there. Are you up for it?"

Spencer then tells Freddie and Gibby: "Hey, Carly wants us all to come down to LA and surprise Sam. I can ask Socko for his RV again and we can all drive down there together. What do y'all think?"

Freddie and Gibby immediately jump on board. Spencer says: "shoosh, yeah. We'll be there. What time does your flight get into Los Angeles?

Carly says: "Well, it takes about 6 hours for us to get in from New York, after the 3-hour layover. So I'd probably say around 11 AM your time."

Spencer then says: "perfect. Oh, I've missed you. I can't wait to catch up. Trust me, I don't know what I'd do without you. I've had more fires in this place that the fire department has officially put them on their banned list."

"Wait, I thought after you did community service for them and worked at the fire station for a day, they were cool with you. What happened?"

Spencer says, "well, do you really wanna know what happened? I got myself into fire trouble every day since you left. Even the squirrel camera got caught on fire, and then everything else went from there. I had burning food from the stove and then I decided to actually add fire to my sculptures and they didn't turn out well."

Carly then says, "Well, I hope our place is still in one piece."

"Oh, yeah it is", Spencer says sarcastically as he looks around the apartment with char and burn marks all over the place. "Listen, I can get Socko's RV later today and we'll all come down to meet you. Just keep us posted, OK?"

Carly says, "yeah, sure" and hangs up the phone. They get ready for the trip while Carly and her dad wait to board their next plane. Eventually, they board the LAX-bound 757 and fly cross-country to their final destination.

[They eventually reach Los Angeles airport right on time. Coincidentally, two other guys happen to fly into the same airport at the same time. Those two other guys happened to be Drake and Josh.

They were just returning from a sold-out gig in China and they were on their way back home to San Diego. But they had to stop in for a meeting with Spin City Records.

Drake now has at least 4 hits on the charts right now and Josh continues to be his band's manager after Drake signed to a record deal back in 2007 when his song "Makes Me Happy" took off after it appeared in a Super Bowl commercial for Daka shoes.

Drake spots Carly and her dad as they exit the gate and then goes to Josh and says, "hey, Josh, that couldn't be, is that Megan? And what's she doing with that old guy?"

Josh says: "It could be her. I mean, we've been so busy with your career that we hardly keep in touch with our family anymore."

"Well, something doesn't seem right. Even if it is Megan, I don't like the idea of her walking around with a creepy old guy. Something's off." Drake starts to walk towards Carly but then Josh restrains him.

"We don't know for sure if that girl is Megan or not. Maybe she could be another girl that happens to look like her. But we can't just go up to her and ask. We need more information. Stay behind me, and follow my lead."

[Drake and Josh begin to follow Carly and her dad around the airport, but do so stealthily as not to make them suspicious. They listen to the dialogue between the two of them, as they try to figure out the real identity of this mystery girl who they assume to be their little sister.]