Chapter 4
"I was wondering if we could meet. Over a coffee perhaps."
Her mind was elsewhere. Snapped back to the short phone call from the afternoon.
He had found a quiet corner at the café. Got up as she entered. Pulled a chair out.
"Hi" Her smile slightly strained.
"Cappuccino, no sugar. Uh...decaffeinated", he paused. "If you want anything else..."
"Thank you."
"Busy at work?" he grimaced at his feeble attempt at small talk.
"Jack." a question. Looked up and met his eyes.
Taking a sip of his own coffee, he swallowed, willing the tightness in his throat to ease.
"I wanted to see you, see how you are doing. Umm..." hadn't he rehearsed this a thousand times? Come on Jack, brave on.
"Bex, I'd like to be a part of this anyway it's comfortable for you. I want to be there for you...for the baby."
She dipped her head to hide the sudden emotions she knew must be visible on her face. Took a sip of the coffee to ease the tears that threatened just behind her lashes. The hormones were driving her crazy.
"Hey" he said softly. Reached out with his hand to touch hers lightly.
"I've got my first scan tomorrow, if you want to join." She said a bit hesitantly, expecting a refusal. A scan felt a very intimate event. Surely he wouldn't...
"If that's okay for you," his quick response. "I'd like to be there."
She bit her lower lip, unsure of that she had agreed to. He felt her become tense, saw her worrying her mouth and felt utterly juvenile in his body's reaction. He had done some things to that sweet mouth he wouldn't mind repeating.
The woman is carrying your child, Jack. Get your mind out of the gutter, he berated himself.
"I will understand if you change your mind."
She looked up and he felt his breath constrict with the emotions reflected in her eyes.
"You're not obligated to me Jack. Please don't...you don't have to feel obligated. I'm doing fine. Baby's fine. I promised I'll keep you updated if anything changes, and I will", all said softly.
He heard the slight tremble in her voice and wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms. Feel her body give in. He closed his eyes in slight exasperation at his very unhelpful thoughts, willing his brain to take over from his heart.
"Not the way I expected to become a Dad either, but I'd like to try Bex. Anyway you'll have me be a part of this."
Their eyes met.
His sincere.
Hers, guarded but willing.
"Tomorrow at 11; the pre-natal wing of the hospital. I'll text you the details."
—-
She was just about to walk into the room when he saw her.
"Sorry, work ran over."
She looked up and smiled at him. He stopped short, she looked radiant, her eyes shining, ready to see her baby.
"Right on time."
"Dr. Turner, come on in," the sonographer got her comfortable on the examining bed.
"If you'd like to sit here," she gestured to a stool next to the head of the bed for Jack.
"This is an internal scan so we can determine the exact gestation period." Talking and arranging at the same time, quick and clinical. "I'll give you privacy to get comfortable."
Jack looked away. Eyes lowered. Keeping her modesty.
She felt herself flush a little. Didn't expect the reaction from her body having him close in an intimate setting as this. How had she forgotten this was not a normal external ultrasound?
"Ready?" she smiled. She handed Bex the transducer.
"I normally ask patients to insert it as comfortable and then I take over. Is that okay for you?"
She nodded.
She flinched a little from the sensation of the cold gel but almost immediately everything else blanked out as the screen came to life.
A minute or two and then, "There you are." Another minute or so. "From the size and measurements, I'd say you are spot on at 10 weeks."
She heard the words in a haze, all she could hear was the whoosh whoosh of the heart beat unable to take her eyes away from that tiny thing on the screen.
"Dad, are you able to see?" the sonographer questioned as he hadn't said a word.
Bex looked over at him from the corner of her eyes. She reached out to touch his hand and gave a reassuring squeeze. He nodded wordlessly.
Ultrasound pictures in her hands. She looked at them, fighting back tears. He reached out to hold her hand, the other on her shoulder. Thumb making small circles, attempting to soothe.
"Thank you for coming over", she managed when she had could trust her voice.
She looked at him when he didn't respond.
He was looking right at her with an unreadable expression.
"You okay?" concern in her voice
"That's my line." A smile. And an emotion she couldn't quite define.
"Going to work?"
"No, I took the day off. Wasn't sure how long this might take."
"Can I buy you lunch?" He didn't want the day to end.
He found him wanting to be near her. Hold her hand. Reassure her she wasn't alone. As long as she would have him, he wanted to be with her at every check-up, every ultrasound. Wipe away all the tears. The fierce protectiveness surging within him was an unusual feeling. He didn't get the chance to mull over anymore as she lifted her face to him and smiled a yes.