Date started: March 15 2020
Date ended: March 15 2020
Fandom: Black butler [Kuroshitsuji]
Black shoes were dirtied in mud as he ran, he panted when he finally he came to a stop, the sounds of his shoes sloshing on the mud stopped as well, the rain was raging loudly in the sky, he kept thinking of the previous events that happened back at the manor, they haunted him, they worried him, he was confused and lost, he looked up at a large oak tree branch above his head, he jumped up at it and sat down hoping it'd support his weight, he was currently deep in the woods that were surrounding the great Phantomhive mansion, away from where he belonged, away from the one he loved, away from his home, he thought for a moment, he had been in the Phantomhive manor for so long, it really did seem like his home, he sighed, deep in thought
Sebastians eyes widened as he stood up and took a step back, his mind spinning, was that what he'd been feeling all this time? The warm ember in his chest, was it love? He felt suffocated, his chest constricting
Sebastian took in a deep breath as he looked up at the rainy sky, drops of water falling onto his pale skin and dark colored clothing, it honestly felt refreshing, he didn't have this back in hell, he could hear the wind whistling and the rain falling, he closed his eyes momentarily
Sebastian was in shock, this was a confession, his master confessed his love for him, romantic love, that was why he was so mad about him having sex with Lady Cora, why he got drunk, he needed to get away "I..." for the first time in a while he felt speechless, he'd fallen for a human, a human. And his contractee for that matter. What was he going to do? He couldn't stay with him, it wasn't part of the demon aesthetics, it wasn't part of anything he'd ever known, what did this mean?
Sebastian frowned, he couldn't stop replaying it, the same scene over and over again, he suddenly let out a loud yell of frustration and hit the trees core angrily, "Why?!" He called out into the night "Why do I feel like this?" He then said in a small whisper
Without thinking and in a surprised panic, he left, running out the door, he could hear soft sobs behind him as he ran through the hallways 'Forgive me bocchan' he thought sorrowfully, he didn't stop until reaching the forest
He scowled irritated, he thought for a moment, since that fateful day he promised to never leave his side, to care about him and be there for him, he was breaking all those rules as he sat out there in the rain, he could see the mansion far away, the study candles still lit, he couldn't help but wonder what his master was up to, was he alright? He might be in pain...
he looked down at his gloved hands, he took the gloves off, he wanted as much water on him as possible, he then took off his tailcoat, he pushed apart the leaves, simultaneously pulling some twigs and branches out of the way to let the rain through, what was he supposed to do now? Stay there until sunrise? He wasn't sure if he wanted to return, what would he do?
The day had gone by so quickly, he chuckled sadly, it felt just like yesterday he had saved the abused boy from his prison, instead of a prison of torture, he got a prison of death, Sebastian felt something clench in his chest, that was right, Ciel wouldn't live forever, he'd die someday, and it will be at Sebastian's hand, he wouldn't have another choice than to live on, how would he forget him? He'd never felt this attached to a contractee in the past, now that he thought of it, he'd never felt anything for them, just another meal, another contract, another pained soul, he couldn't help but think if there was even a chance to make it work, he'd do it, he had hope, something he hadn't felt in what might as well be a decade, he swallowed saliva, despite the cold and humid weather his throat was dry, 'What will I do without you, bocchan?' He thought miserably
Ciel cried out, he couldn't stop crying and sobbing, he was in pain, his chest hurt, what did this mean? What would happen now? Sebastian had left, he was gone, he didn't know for how long, perhaps he'd never return, he gulped at the thought, he sucked in his tears, he roughly brushed them away with his sleeves and stood up,
Was there even a point now? He'd lost everything, even the demon he'd grown to love had given up on him, he stopped for a moment, he had I chosen to live, just to seek revenge, did he want that now? For some odd reason he felt numb, he didn't want that, he frowned, there was nothing left, it was all empty, he should end it all, perhaps that'd feel better, he chuckled at the thought of him seeing his parents again, perhaps his aunt and dog as well, what will Elizabeth think if he was gone? He took a deep breath making up his mind, he would end it. Tonight, all his pain will disappear.
He blew on candles, the fire disappearing, he silently and carefully made his was to his room, walking down the red wall hallways, the servants should be asleep by now, he sighed, would the servants miss him? He couldn't help but wonder where Sebastian was right now, was he downstairs in the servants quarters thinking of what happened back in the study? Or was he long gone? He didn't know which he preferred,
when he entered his room he didn't dare turn on a candle, he would use the moonlight that peeked through the dark gray clouds, he smiled sadly, would this be the last time he saw the sky? He shook his head, he couldn't dwell on that now, he needed to escape from the hell that were his feelings,
he walked over to his drawer, his gun was currently being repaired, but he always had his sharp knife, he lifted the blade and looked at it as if it were some sort of curious toy, he took off his blue coat and rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt, would anyone miss him? He chuckled, of course not, he carefully drew the blade over his arm eyes glistening brightly at the sight of the crimson blood that left the freshly made wound, he slowly and painfully made his was down to his wrist, the blood was pouring onto the floor, he sighed shakily, the only spot left to slice was his wrist, he felt small tears rolling down his face, this was it, this was the end, he slashed his wrist.
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Authors note: Long time no see! I'll try my best to continue doing this! Hopefully they'll get their shit together, Cya!