A/N: I've probably said this already, but this fic is only vaguely following canon, if at all. So orders of things might be mixed up and with different outcomes. You'll see what I mean in this chapter, anyway.

The first word spoken on the moon was 'okay'!

And the riddle answer is half way, because after that it's running out again. :P

I still don't own Naruto or any of its characters.

Bounty

She'd only been running for around half an hour, when she was forced to skid to a halt as she entered into a clearing to avoid barrelling directly into the man standing in the centre of it.

Cursing, Mika kicked mud off her sandals that she'd slid through. 'What the hell, don't just stand in the middle of the forest… like a… Oh. You're that guy from last week!'

She almost instantly regretted her offensive attitude after seeing the stern look on the Akatsuki cloaked male before her. His piercing green eyes narrowing as he looked her up and down, in a very predatorial way that made the girl shudder.

'Well, no harm done, eh?' She laughed nervously, backing away a little. 'I'll just be on my way then!'

'Actually, you aren't going anywhere.' His voice rumbled from beneath the high collar of his cloak, the rain-soaked material hanging limply around his large form like a wet tent. Had she not been so prideful, Mika might have cowered.

'You wanna let me in on why not?' She kept her voice low in response, defensive.

Mika flinched violently when the Akatsuki member she couldn't remember the name of took a sudden step forward. He stopped when she dipped into a wary stance, as though prepared to run.

He growled and flicked his wrist, the sleeve jolting backwards up his arm slightly to reveal three blue rings etched into his skin. 'I wouldn't do that if I were you.'

His arm shot out without him, and Mika let out a cry of surprise and pain when the fingers clamped firmly around her neck. She clawed at the offending limb, but she had a sinking suspicion that this was likely doing her more damage that her opponent. His arm wasn't even currently attached, save for the wire-like threads that ran from his wrist all the way back to his elbow.

Mika pulled back on the wires in a panic, managing to back up several steps until she almost tripped over a tree root, her back colliding heftily against it's trunk.

Kakuzu would have smirked if it was in his nature to express such emotion, but instead pinned her with a deadly glare as he stalked towards her, like a hunter to his prey. Her mouth hung open in fear as he approached, closer and closer, her face the picture of a rabbit caught in headlights.

Eyes creasing, he lifted his arm higher as he halted before her, his face barely an inch from hers as he glowered unseeingly into her frightened expression. Desperation shone in her golden irises as her struggles began to grow weaker, lungs burning and feeling as though they were about to explode.

Then, as one last ditch effort to free herself, Mika kicked up with her legs, relying on his grip on her neck to support her weight in a bizarre test of faith. One knee knocked into his hip, making him sway sideways slightly, but he caught the other with his free hand, hooking it over his forearm as he held her, now lopsided, her back against the tree.

She bucked her hips pathetically, but she could already tell it was pointless.

'Oh, there you are Kaku… zu…' Hidan announced, voice trailing off as he entered the clearing and observed what would have been a compromising position between Mika and his partner, had the male's hand not been around her throat.

Mika's eyes widened, torn between pain, relief and embarrassment.

'Errr, what're you doing?'

Kakuzu dropped the girl in a heap on the floor as he turned to the Jashinist, ignoring the way she spluttered and gasped for air.

'Hidan, you didn't tell me about your little goldmine, did you?'

'Eh? What're you babbling about?' Then his eyes cast downwards to glare disapprovingly over Mika. 'Seriously, I leave you alone for 5 minutes and you go pissing off the one person you never want to.'

Between coughing and retraining her lungs to breathe, the girl could only glare back, missing the way his eyes had glazed over with concern.

'Now I know why you were so keen to hang around her.' Kakuzu threw something small and light in his partners direction. A crumpled page, torn from one of the walls of the land of Rivers. 'I'm talking about that.'

Hidan grimaced. 'Oh. Shit.'

'Thought you could keep her all to yourself, did you?'

'Like hell I did. You know I couldn't care less about money, you selfish old prick. Besides this thing is all a lie anyway. You won't get a penny for her.'

Kakuzu wasn't convinced. 'Well then I suppose I'll just have to kill them and the girl if they refuse to pay up when I get there. But I won't know until I try.'

'Tch. Well I'm coming with you.' He grumbled, not seeing anyway to dissuade the money-obsessed miser.

'Hey!' Mika growled, finally having caught her breath. 'If you think I'm going anywhere with this old basta–'

'You will come along quietly. Or do I need to bind your hands and feet, girl?' The ex-waterfall nin snapped, leaving no room for argument.

Crossing the clearing hurriedly in case things started to get out of hand again, Hidan crouched down in front of Mika, mumbling. 'We'll figure something out on the way. Just go with it, for now.'

She pouted, clearly displeased with the situation, but when she made no further protests, Hidan spoke more loudly to his colleague. 'I'll carry her.'

'You will not!' She hissed, however he already had her slumped over his shoulder by the time she had finished speaking.

'You can't haul me all the way back to River country with me hanging over your shoulder like this, I look like a deer carcus!'

'Fine.' He released her momentarily. 'Then I'll carry you like this.'

Hefting her onto his back before she had even had the chance to squawk in outrage, the Jashinist didn't bother to hide his amusement. Her legs fell against the material of his cloak, which was folded over at his waist, leaving his top half noticeably naked. He'd moved his three-pronged weapon to his hip to accommodate the smaller human now resting in its usual place on his back.

She wriggled a little as they set off, Kakuzu several feet ahead of them. Feeling awkward, Mika placed her hands delicately on Hidan's bare shoulders, as though the simple touch would burn her. She kept her back straight as he walked, probably looking like some weird sort of meerkat perched on his back. He obviously noticed her ridiculously formal position and figured he could have some fun with her.

Hoisting her upwards and catching her off-guard, she was flung forward faster than she could react, falling so that her arms and head slumped over his shoulders like dead weight.

'The hell was that for?!' She demanded, readjusting again.

'Fucking relax, it's like carrying a plank of wood!' He instructed teasingly as she resisted giving the back of his head a whack.

Mika scoffed. 'You try and relax after the shitty day I've had!'

'I can hang you over my shoulder again if you'd prefer?'

'Geez, you're such a jerk…' Reluctantly, she shifted so that her chest more fully leaned against his back, her arms wrapping further around his neck than she felt comfortable with. She held back a blush as the warmth from his bare skin seeped through the clothes on her front and where her legs hooked over his waist.

'And why do you have to be naked, asshole?'

'Why, am I distracting you?' Hidan cackled at her discomfort, tilting his head to the side to throw her a cheeky grin.

This time, she didn't hold back on the slap, smirking when her target hissed upon impact.

'That's the thanks I get for carrying you? Told you, you can be such a bitch. Seriously.'

'I don't want you to carry me.' She shot back, stubbornly.

Hidan rolled his eyes but chose not to reply, knowing his silence would irritate her more than any decent comeback.

After a while of walking, he felt a gentle breath fan over his shoulder. She twiddled with a loose strand of material on the headband he wore around his neck, bored. Another few sighs later, and then a small gasp.

'What's up with you now?' The Akatsuki member asked, peering at her with one eye. Even Kakuzu up ahead had glanced back at the sudden noise.

She had pulled back slightly from his back, one palm pressed against his shoulder blade and the other pulling his hitai-ate down, slightly. Hidan's eyes narrowed as he returned his gaze ahead of him.

'Oh. That.'

'What happened?' Mika ran a finger over the thin line that seemed to run the entire circumference of his neck, hesitating when he shivered at her touch.

'Some Leaf Anbu I encountered a while back. The bastard managed to fucking cut my head off before I could sacrifice his ass to Lord Jashin. Kakuzu stitched it back on… I'll bet that Konaha pansy is burning in hell right now.'

Mika supressed the churning in her stomach as she pushed that image from her mind. 'So you really are, then…'

She had only mumbled it, but his S-class hearing picked it up easily. And Hidan wasn't sure, but he thought he heard a slight pang of disappointment in her words.

'Will you age?' She asked suddenly, curiosity piquing.

'…Huh. I guess we'll find out.' He shrugged.

She chuckled a little at his nonchalance, but that failed to quell the unease in her gut.

'Do you hurt?'

Hidan scoffed, sounding mildly offended. 'I'm immortal, not a fucking vampire. Of course, I do.'

'Do you shine in the sunlight?' She snickered, mocking him.

'Yeah, yeah, hilarious. Heard it all before, kid.'

Sighing, Mika slumped against him. 'I wish you'd stop with the shitty nickname.'

Hidan made a prolonged humming noise, then managed to spit out, '…Mika.' And then he grimaced, like the foreign word left a bad taste in his mouth.

'…What?' She responded automatically.

'Your name, stupid.'

'I KNOW THAT. But what do you want?'

'Nothing. I was just testing it. It's dumb.'

'You're dumb.' She muttered lamely.

'No more stupid questions for me then?'

Rolling her eyes, she let her forehead collide with the back of his neck softly. 'Nope, that's it for now.'

Mika did not like to be woken up prematurely. Hidan'd had to learn that the hard way. It happened in Shimo no Kuni, in a hostel near the mountains. She was fifteen by then, her feminine features finally choosing to make an appearance that his sixteen-year-old self couldn't help but notice.

Hidan had been assigned to a small village at the edge of the Land of Frost, which worked out to be closer to his village than their usual choice of ninja in the Land of Lightning's Kumo. He'd been to the village before and was familiar with its layout, hence why he had selected this hostel in particular. The prices were reasonably cheap, but the rooms were a nicely finished quality and the bathrooms always clean.

He had been particularly lazy with missions recently, growing bored of the same old things constantly needing ninja attention. He longed for some excitement, something new and interesting that he could really commit himself to, that he would never tire of. Unfortunately, though, his lack of work also meant a lack of income, so on this occasion, he had selected a unisex shared bedroom for the sake of extra savings.

It was late when he returned to his dorm, really late, leaving his vision hazy with exhaustion. Treading around the line of futons on the tatami clad floor softly and on silent feet, he identified his assigned bedroll eagerly, and collapsed onto the material.

Only, this wasn't his assigned bedroll, which became instantly clear to him as he sailed almost comically directly through the rice paper walls and straight into the next bedroom. Grunting and cursing furiously, he clambered to his feet and stormed through the teenage shaped hole he had involuntarily created. The lights flickered on one by one as several grumpy people stirred from their sleep, startled by the sudden commotion.

He stood, hands on his hips and a deathly glare on his face, towering over the sleeping human who had assaulted him. He could almost laugh when he recognised her peaceful form, chest rising and falling evenly, completely undisturbed.

'Are you still a-fucking-sleep?!' He roared, dropping to his knees and shaking her shoulders roughly.

One of her eyes peered open slowly. 'Hidan?' She asked, blinking several times and still appearing very calm.

'You fucking sent me flying into the next room, you psycho!'

'Oh, did I? Well maybe you shouldn't have FUCKING WOKEN ME UP THEN, YOU DIPSHIT. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOING CREEPING AROUND AT NIGHT AND SNEAKING INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S FUTONS?!' Her voice just seemed to continuously raise, both in volume and pitch, and Hidan found himself wincing as his ears took the brunt of it.

And then he realised what she had just yelled at him, and how everyone was now staring at him and looking severely unimpressed.

'Er, it's okay I know her…' He offered, scratching the back of his head.

Needless to say, he was promptly removed from the hostel and sent on his way, the money for repairs to the room coming straight out of his recent pay cheque.

He didn't bother to stick around for Mika in the morning. He didn't know why she was there, and he didn't care. She didn't deserve a 'good morning' anyway.

A/N: So yeah, Asuma didn't cut off Hidan's head in the past, but they did fight a few chapters back, so who can guess the outcome of that fight? :P

Question of the chapter: How many teeth do mosquitos have?

And the riddle: How many seconds are there in a year?

Have a lovely day! :)