*UPDATED*

Chapter three

Cray wasted no time having me placed in a community home. In my first week at district twelve I quickly realized that I was a pariah, the children in and outside of the house avoided acknowledging me at all costs and the adults weren't much better. I also learned that our caretakers couldn't care less when I came back, or if I came back at all.

I was only just getting used to the feeling of being hungry all the time, something that everyone seemed to suffer from in the district. Making me realize how much I had taken for granted and how little thought I had given to this fact while reading the books.

I didn't eat on the lunch break, a lot of kids didn't because they had no money to buy any of the slop they called food that was in the cafeteria. So instead they conversed. I sat silently watching people with mild interest, I had a table to myself and I knew that was because no one wanted to sit with me, after all they all thought I was from the capitol.

I wouldn't want to sit with me either. So, I didn't blame them.

The first warning bell rang, signaling that lunch would soon be over. Getting up I started to make my way to the doors that would lead to the halls filled with classrooms. "It's Kira, right?" two blondes stopped me halfway to the door, in the center of the cafe.

One was tall with straight strawberry blonde hair while the other was shorter with blonde curls. Trying to shrug off the surprise I nodded with a small smile, this was the first person that acknowledged me willingly after all.

"I love your shirt," she stated holding a plastic cup up towards her lips, like she was about to take a sip, before splashing the liquid all down the front of my white short sleeved button up and red vest. Gasping in surprise I took a step back due to the cold liquid only looking back up when they started to giggle.

"Oupse, I'm sorry. Did I do that?" She asked with a fake shocked expression.

"Don't worry," her friend assured her, "the capitol will just send her a new one. Will probably be on the next train," she stated before meeting my gaze, venom dripping from every word like she honestly believed what she was saying, "right?"

I could feel my blood boiling, what had I done to deserve this? Escape death? Clenching my jaw and fists at my sides as I decided I wasn't going to turn and walk away, not this time.

"You know what?" I started "Go ahead." I stated calmly throwing my arms out to my side, in an 'I'm open gesture,' "throw your food at me, dump your drinks on me. Do whatever it is you think you have to in order to feel better." I stated taking a step closer causing the taller one, the one who hadn't thrown the drink to take a startled step back.

"Punish me for the pain the capitol has inflicted on you, go ahead because they don't care." I could feel myself calming down as I continued, because what I was saying was the truth. "They don't care about you or me," I stated pointing at them and then at myself "or that I don't belong here."

Biting at the inside of my cheek I forced myself to continue, "I get it, okay? You and everyone else have lost loved ones because of them, but do you know something?" I paused seeing I had their and a lot of other people's full attention at this point. "I've lost everything." My voice cracked before I took a deep breath in through my nose. "My family, my friends, my home." again I paused letting the words sink in "but go ahead, nothing you do will make me feel any worse than I already do."

Spinning on the heel of my black boots I walked out of the cafe, reminding myself with each step not to run and not to cry because no one deserves the satisfaction.

This was the third day in a row I found myself sitting on the inside of the fence where I had emerged from last week. I'd sit here for hours letting my thoughts wonder uninterrupted by the district, it had quickly become the only place I could think without worrying over anyone seeing my armor crack and fall away.

Until today.

"Hey," a voice snapped me from my thoughts "are you alright?" he asked as I turned to face whoever was behind me. I could feel my voice failing me out of the shock, so I nodded in response. "Mind if I sit?" he asked again, this time I shrugged and moved a fraction of an inch.

Seconds later the spot was occupied by this other person, keeping my eyes down on the grass I continued to fiddle with the strands. "That was brave, what you did earlier." He stated trying to get some type of conversation going, "I think you shocked the hell out of them."

A small smile tugged at the corners of my lips as I tilted my head to look at him, catching the faintest of smiles from him as I do. "Oh, I'm Peeta by the way." He stated after a moment of silence.

Biting at the inside of my lip I had to prevent the words 'I know' from coming out, instead I responded with my own name.

"I know." He stated without missing a beat, "so what happened?" He asked flickering his gaze to my bandaged-up forearm and the medical tap covering up my forehead just above my right eyebrow, hiding the wounds that were slowly healing.

Raising an eyebrow at him I watched as he blushed and started to back track, "you don't have to...I mean, I'm sorry. That was rude." now I laughed and shook my head, placing my gaze on the meadow beyond the fence.

"Its fine, my head and pinky," I started trying to wiggle the limb that was still held straight by a splint, "I got into an accident. Our hovercraft crashed into the side of those mountains." I stated lifting my hand to point at the green and brown peeks that could just barely be seen beyond the woods.

"After that I started making my way through the woods, I was walking for days." I stated feeling myself being pulled back into the memory of the endless walk, sighing I shook my head to clear it, "anyway just before I made it here I was attacked by a wild dog, that's how this happened." I stated lifting my arm briefly before letting it fall back into my lap.

"Wow." Peeta breathed as I glanced over to see the evident shock, "that must have been terrifying." He stated causing me to hold back my frown and nod, as thoughts of everything he survives in the books came to the forefront of my mind.

"It wasn't fun," I state finally trying to keep out all the intrusive thoughts. Silence settles between us again, this one longer then the last before I glance over to see him deep in thought.

It should have felt awkward, and maybe for him it did, but sitting in silence with Peeta to my left felt more comforting then it did when I was alone. We stayed this way until the sun started to set, only then did I break the silence.

"It's pretty," I spoke startling Peeta, "the sunset." I stated to clarify.

A small smile graced his lips as he nodded, "it's my favorite time of day." He stated which brought back the memory of him telling Katniss about his favorite colour and how it was the same shade as the orange that was currently in the sky.

"I like the way it looks when the first stars start to come out," I stated remembering the countless nights I spent under the stars. There was a moment of silence as Peeta meets my gaze with a small grin, like he was storing the information away.

"I should get home," Peeta stated with a sigh. I nodded knowing I should too return to my condemnation at the community home, but not wanting to say it aloud. "tomorrow if you want to, you can sit with us." Peeta stated standing up, again surprising me.

"Us?" I repeated looking up at his tall form towering above my still sitting one.

"With me and my friends," he stated scratching at the back of his neck, I smiled and thanked Peeta before watching him walk away.

It wasn't long before I left too, heading back to the community home where I shared a room with four other girls only having sheets hung up around the room for privacy. Needless to say, that was something I'd never get used to.

Bolting up right, my hands grabbed on to the thin quilt for dear life turning my knuckles white, I could hear the beat of my heart racing as I took in my surroundings the way I've done every morning waking up here.

Another nightmare, I tell myself in an attempt to slow my breathing and relax my stiff muscles.

But waking up does little to calm my racing heartbeat, because I know too well where I am and that it's not safe, not really. I'm living my nightmare, sure I'm not falling from the sky to my death or being torn apart by wolves or watching my family meet their end but that's because it's already happened and I'm left to live with it for the rest of my life. Alone. That's what a true nightmare is, when you wake up and realize you're never really going to be okay.

It was my never-ending nightmare.

"Why do you do that?" A girl's voice broke me from my thoughts, Diara was the oldest orphaned girl here, and she had long dark hair and the gray seam eyes.

"Do what?" I asked smoothing out the blanket that had been in my hand's moments before.

"Wake up like you're having a panic attack." She stated crossing her arms studying me, we hadn't spoken at all really, she was older than me and from what I could tell she kept to herself mostly.

"I guess that's because I probably am," I stated "having a panic attack." It was the truth, one that I hadn't thought of but who wouldn't after having their life changed in such a way?

"Nightmares huh," she stated catching my attention again, only now her eyes were roaming the top of her dresser instead of reading me. "I used to get them, too. After my dad died when I was seven then losing my mom at eleven, I thought they'd never go away."

A pang of sympathy stilled my breath in my throat for a moment, of course she knew what I was going through, to a varying degree all the kids here did. After all we were all orphans now. "Did they?" I asked catching her eye, "Go away I mean."

"Some nights, other's not so much." She stated with a shrug, again turning her eyes on me like she was trying to figure me out, "you'll be ok though." She stated after a minute catching me off guard.

"What?" I asked raising my eyebrows at her in a question. She sounded so sure like she knew something I didn't, or at least something I had forgotten.

This time a small smile tilted her lips, "you're a fighter. A survivor. A lot of people seen you, you know?" She stated again, confusing me even further which must have shown on my face because she continued. "When you were running for your life? You risked being electrocuted to avoid being ripped to shreds! Something like that happens around here, it gets around." She was smiling now, there was no attempt at hiding it.

A small smile, one of the few I've had since arriving here, found its way on to my face. "And you? Are you a survivor?" I asked finally able to relax.

"I'll be ok," she stated with a shrug, "I'd be better if I didn't have to start work in the mines in a few months though." She confessed as a forlorn expression passed over her, "That's how my dad died. But that's how it goes, kids like us without a family business to take over we end up in the mines."

Nodding my head, I moved to get out of bed and get ready for the day.

Nearly two months had passed, all my bandages had been stripped away leaving a few thin scars on my upper arm where the wild dog had punctured the skin with its teeth.

I never really ended up sitting with Peeta at lunch after we talked, we'd see each other wave and smile then go about our own business. Sometimes we'd spend time together after school, mostly in the spot where he had found me but sometimes, we would go to the bakery and sit out back, until his mom yelled at him to get inside. I told myself it was best that way, after all I knew his fate and that was to be reaped in the next coming year and confess his love for Katniss and eventually after a long two years end up together.

I wished there were something I could do, but I knew that in the end it worked out...for some people anyway.

It was about that time I realized I was living a pointless life in district twelve, and that I didn't know if I would survive the fiery death that claimed the life of many or if the girls I lived with would survive. After all we weren't the main characters in this story, I wasn't supposed to even be in it.

So, in the past six weeks I decided to do what I could for those around me.

Diara had started teaching me how to stitch and patch up clothing and in return I had started teaching her how to fight and defend herself, it was strange at first and I worried that if the peacekeepers found out there would be consequences. But our activities seemed to go overlooked.

After awhile I taught the younger girl's different skills. Amya who was twelve had wanted me to teach her how to bake, Nia who was ten had joined in after seeing how much fun Amya was having. The youngest Greer was only seven so mostly I helped her with her schoolwork and had started reading to her each night. The community home had become the one place where I interacted with people, in a way it had started to become my second home with my second family. The first being far out of my reach.

"You know, I never asked." I stated after correcting her form, then watched her do a round house kick on the dummy I had strung up in the lone tree of our bare backyard.

"Asked what?" she asked panting as she switched to punching and blocking attacks that weren't coming, again I stepped in to correct her form.

"Why you wanted to learn to fight." I stated furrowing my eyebrows, obviously I thought it was a good skill to have and that in the upcoming war it could mean the difference between life and death, but just because I knew that didn't mean she did.

"It's a good release." She stated stepping back away from the dummy I had stuffed with straw, "besides never know when it might come in handy."

With a small smile I nodded reflecting on how my dad taught me to fight, "my dad taught me." I stated after a brief silence, "told me that I didn't know what the future would hold and it could save my life, or someone else's, someday." It was strange knowing how right he had been, though I was sure he hadn't had this life in mind.

Diara was silent as she studied me, "your dad sounds like a smart man." she spoke her face showing the same venerability as it did when she spoke of her parents, "can I ask you something?" She asked looking up to hold my gaze. "Your parents...they're dead, aren't they?"

It was obvious in the moment she knew she was entering what was possibly dangerous territory, at the very least an emotional one. Blinking at her I stared silently, almost wondering if she'd take the question back like Peeta had to a similar one. But she didn't.

Swallowing around the lump that had formed I decided to answer her honestly, "I don't know. I think so." My voice was quiet, weak in my moment of doubt and grief.

"How can you not know?" I could hear the accusation, feel the burn like a slap to the face because it was the same question that I asked myself every night, how could I have left without being sure? So, I explained how I couldn't find my family after the crash and how because a bear showed up, I had to flee.

"Do you think about going back?" Diara asked, our training session long forgotten.

Grimacing I nodded, of course I thought about going back but a part of me knew even if they were alive my family wouldn't have stayed at the wreckage site. No, they would have sought out civilization like I had. And if they hadn't survived, that wasn't really something I wanted to see. "It's probably for the best that you don't." Diara stated looking far off, "not if you want to come back anyway. I don't think they'd let you cause a scene like that twice." There was a tilt to her lips telling me how amusing she still found my initial appearance.

Shaking my head, I caught a glimpse of the fence that I could see from our yard, beyond it the woods where I knew Katniss and Gale were probably hunting, when a thought occurred to me. "The kids don't eat well," I stated barely above a whisper, but still catching Diara's attention.

"None of us eat well," she stated frowning at the sudden change in conversation.

"Could I ask you to cover for me?" I asked feeling a little more excited then I had since arriving, confusion crossed her features as she crossed her arms and fallowed the line of sight my eyes had traveled in.

"You're going to leave. Now?" I caught her eye and the disapproval that went with it.

"To hunt." I stated so she didn't think I was running away to try and find my missing, more than likely dead, family.

"To hunt..." she repeated slowly, "you have a death wish. You know that, right?"

I shrugged, "if I get caught, or killed it's on me. Just if anyone asks, say you haven't seen me since I went for a morning run?" I asked again, to only receive a nod in response. Without wasting time, I jogged into the house and our room where my knife was hidden away and slipped it into my boot.

I had only entered the forest a few minutes ago, navigating silently through the underbrush I tried not to over think the fact that I was hunting with a knife or that the last time I was in these woods I had almost lost my life.

I kept my knife drawn and stayed crouched as I spotted a rabbit eating its grassy breakfast. Taking three even breaths I steadied my nerves, trying to convince myself this was just like shooting a bow at target practice even if this was a breathing and moving target, with a flick of my wrist I released the knife and watched it glide through the air with ease and find purchase on the rabbit.

The same time an arrow embedded into its skull.

I knew right away without moving, that Katniss and I had placed our sights on the same rabbit. I should have found it odd and have been mystified at the odds of us targeting the same animal considering how vast these woods were. Of course, I didn't.

Go figure. I thought rolling my eyes, this whole thing was starting to feel like the universe was pushing us together. Taking me to Mrs. Everdeen's place when there are other medics in the town, Peeta being the first person to befriend me...

Maybe I was making something out of nothing, or this was a case of Murphy's Law.

Standing I walked out from behind the bushes to find Katniss and Gale examining the rabbit that had both our weapons embedded in it. I took a few steps before Gale looked up and within seconds Katniss had her bow trained on me. Putting my hands up in a surrendering manner I stopped moving, "I just want my knife. The kill's yours." I stated waiting for her to lower her weapon.

Only she didn't.

"Only you butchered it, it's not even worth half the original price." She was aggravated, which was easy to tell since she kept her bow trained on me. Frowning I started to wonder if she was serious, but of course this was Katniss Everdeen, hunting and trading was her lifeline.

"Well are you going to shoot me then?" I asked raising an eyebrow and dropping my hands, sending me one of her best death glairs she lowered her weapon.

In the brief silence I moved and pulled out my knife, making a mental note to bring something to clean off the blade the next time I came out, I grimaced and wiped in clean on my pants. Neither made any move to stop me as I walked away, which came as no surprise, ignoring their stares that caused the hairs on the nap of my neck to raise I decided to search for a dry and dead branch laying on the forest floor to start carving a bow from.

Hunting would go much smoother with a bow and arrow in hand.

So perched up in a tree I sat, carving the branch with long even strokes from my blade then bending the branch to find its natural curve that would later guide my arrows to their target.