*UPDATED*

Chapter seven

No one else comes after Mr. Mellark, I'm surprised Madge didn't pay me a visit with her pin but I'm happy because that means I'm free to take my necklace like I wanted to.

A peacekeeper comes to get me, Peeta's with him too. We walk in silence down the hall. My eyes flicker over to take in the slight redness around his eyes, he isn't looking at me he doesn't take any notice of me keeping his eyes forward. For a moment I worry that our brief hand holding is the cause for this.

We're escorted to a car that will take us to the train station where all the cameras are waiting.

I've rolled the top of the brown bag so far down that it wouldn't surprise me if I've actually broke the cookies within, I keep stealing glances at Peeta who is looking out the window probably taking in the view of the district thinking that this will be the last time he sees it.

"Peeta," I whisper his name, he doesn't respond or look at me but his hand that was resting on his leg closing into a fist is a sign that he heard me, "I'm sorry." Silence. I'm worried that's all I'll get from him now, it's confusing at first because of our small interaction an hour ago. I wonder if he's still mad at me, or if being reaped has changed his mind about me volunteering, I wonder if he's happy to be here with a friend instead of with someone else. But a part of me knows, he'd rather be here with Katniss.

Swallowing I try to close off my mind to all those thoughts, they don't matter anymore he can make his move for Katniss when he comes home in one piece. I tell myself; he'll just have to man up and tell her how he feels. He'll be rich and alive, more than most could say in district twelve.

The car ride is short, someone opens the door on Peeta's side, and he gets out. I follow him. The station plat form is crawling with news reporters, their insect like cameras are taking close ups on our faces and displaying them on big screens it's hard not to catch a glimpse of what we look like. Peeta might not be looking at me, but he is looking at one of the cameras and I can see that he has been crying easily. He isn't trying to hide it, and if he is, he's doing a poor job at it.

When I catch a glimpse of myself on the camera I see that I'm frowning, not an outright scowl from anger but a concerned frown, lifting a hand I touch my locket it helps to keep my composer calm and reminds me why I'm here.

A camera catches the movement and zooms to get a close up of my locket, I wrap my hand protectively around it to shield it from view. Because it is mine, because they can't have it.

Not yet, I'm not ready to share my locket yet.

It's silly I know, and that causes me to frown further but I don't want the capitol to tarnish something that means a lot to me by taking any close ups.

I notice Peeta has moved towards the train, allowing my hand to drop away from its placement I hurry after him not wanting to prolong our stay with the cameras. Not that it matters, because we are forced to stand around for a few minutes in silence as they continue to get their close ups waiting for us to break.

I keep stealing looks at Peeta who is trying his best to smile, I remember his tactic now he's always been a likeable person, someone that other people gravitated towards and he will use that to his advantage.

I should start thinking about my own tactic.

The train door slides closed behind us; Effie is there awaiting us in the train car. It's fancy from the carpeted floor to the chandeliers and filled with delicacies that district twelve could only dream of. It reminds me of home, I feel the mistiness cloud my eyes as I stand behind Peeta, I force myself to blink repeatedly to clear them.

"Well come in," Effie gestured to the grand room, "it's beautiful no? Crystal chandeliers. Platinum donuts." She sighs in content as we move further into the room, Peeta's a bakers son and is taking interest in all the different bake goods that are on display.

I'm standing behind one of the blue chairs, looking around when I hear Effie continue talking. "We're traveling 250 miles per hour. Can barely feel a thing." She laughs happily, "I think it's a rather wonderful opportunity for you. Even though you'll only be here a little while, you get to enjoy all this." I glare at her, and I know she knows that in this moment I don't like her.

Effie presses her lips together as she holds eye contact with me, "I think I'll go find Haymitch." She pauses for a moment looking over at Peeta who has looked up at the mention of her exit "he's probably in the bar car." I watch her go in silence.

I can feel Peeta's eyes on me like a weight as soon as she has gone, when my own gaze lifts to him he drops his and moves to sit in the chair across from the one I've been standing behind. His elbow is propped up on the arm of the chair and he leans into his open palm, chin resting there as his leg slowly starts to bounce up and down. I watch as his knee jiggles up and down for a few minutes before I open my mouth.

"What?" I ask raising my eyebrows in question, he doesn't respond as I sigh and look for something else to say. "Your dad came in to see me," he's still silent and I wonder if maybe that wasn't the best thing to say, "So our mentor, Haymitch." I start, his lag stops, and I know I have his attention at last, "he's well…" I laugh "horrible actually. But when he sobers up, he won't be so bad." I pause, Peeta still won't look over at me and I sigh giving in, "Are you going to ignore me forever?" I ask hoping that will get a response out of him.

It does.

"I'm not ignoring you." Peeta states slowly turning his head to look at me, and I can see that he's struggling, and I wonder what he is struggling over. "I just have nothing to say to you." I flinch as the last word leaves his mouth; he must have noticed because he's frowning now.

"Okay, first let me say, ouch." I try joking with a small smile as my hand touches lightly to my chest, before I move around to sit in the chair directly across from him, all playing has left my expression as I shake my head slowly. "I really am sorry." Peeta's watching me now before he sighs and shakes his head.

"It's not your fault I got reaped, it's not like you could have changed it."

I know he's right, because I've already spent countless nights trying to think of a way that I could change him having to go into the games. But the games need its boy and girl tribute, so even if I could change who was reaped, I might not be able to keep that person alive.

"You never gave me the chance to explain," I state thinking back on our last real conversation. I should tell him. I want to tell him.

"Explain what?" His leg starts to bounce again, as I frown down at it not knowing the cause for the action. Nerves probably. I try to brush it off.

"Why I was going to volunteer." Peeta freezes, his entire body is tense as he waits for me to explain. Of course, this is when Haymitch decides to make his grand entrance, he's making his way to the table with an empty glass in one hand and a bottle full of golden liquor in the other.

My mouth closes, not because I don't want to explain myself in front of Haymitch but because Peeta's attention is no longer on me. Closing my eyes, I try to shrug it off, It's for the best. I tell myself when I open my eyes to take in the 16year old boy in front of me, I had been close to telling him more than I should tell anyone because unlike any one else I think he would listen without judgment and might even believe me.

If he could get around the whole being a fictional character part. Yeah, I wouldn't have blamed him if he wrote me off as insane and never spoke to me again. After all who would believe that their life wasn't real. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't tell him, that I won't have to worry about being disowned by the last person I'll get to spend time with before my death. Pushing away my thoughts I focus in on what is happening around me.

"Where's the ice?" Haymitch asks expectantly looking from Peeta to me, I can't help but to stare at him for a moment I hadn't expected for him to show up so soon. Maybe it's a sign. I think silently to myself. Don't tell Peeta. Tell Peeta and everything changes.

Mentally shaking myself I realize Haymitch is still looking at me for an answer. "No idea," I smile trying to come off as teasing, maybe that will be my tactic, playful and teasing…or not. "Why don't you come sit down so we can have a chat?" I ask, though it's clear that I expect him to come and sit.

Haymitch bangs the lid closed on the empty ice tray and mumbles something that I don't catch, I feel like my mother when I turn with my eyebrows raised and say, "Pardon me?" I catch the small smirk on Peeta's lips that turns my serious expression into one with a small smile of its own.

"I said who are you, my mother?" Haymitch snaps before he turns his eyes on Peeta, "are you as eager as she is?" he asks sounding slightly put off as if he didn't know I'd want to get to it as soon as the reaping was over. I almost laugh when I hear Peeta ask,

"When do we get started?" he must have nodded or something and I missed it, but when I catch Peeta's eye he has a small smile that makes me smile back. He must be getting used to the idea of where we are now, we have a week to prepare ourselves and its better he takes it in stride and doesn't mope about it.

I know that sounds harsh and I wish there was another way, but I'm relieved he seems at ease and logically thinking about our current position. He's compartmentalizing, something I needed to do. Focus on playing your part, remembering what comes next. Stop worrying about not being good enough. Because if I don't stop, then I will fail, and all of this will have meant nothing. Volunteering would have been pointless because if I fail than I've done no one any favors.

"Most of you aren't in such a hurry." Haymitch stated hiding his frown behind his cup as he downed a mouthful, he wasn't as eager to get started as the two of us were at least not when it came to be prepping for the games. But since I knew he would eventually come around I crossed my arms and leaned back into my seat, trying to keep a serious expression upon my face as Peeta started to protest.

"Right, but I want to know what the plan is." He stated before shooting me a look and corrected himself, "we both do. You're our mentor, you're supposed to tell us how to get sponsors and give us advice."

"Oh, okay. You want advice?" Haymitch stated straightening as he stood a few feet away, "How's this. Embrace the probability of your imminent death. And know in your heart that there is nothing I," His eyes shot over to me and in the seconds it took him to take me in I felt more than seen his intake of breath as he mentally shook himself, "or she can do, to save you." I couldn't help but to glare at him, his words were like ice water in my veins and for a moment I held my breath thinking that he could be right.

What if I fail? What if I get Peeta killed?

Biting my lip, I started drumming my fingers on the arm of the chair lost for words. So much for compartmentalizing I mentally hiss at myself, "So why are you here then?" Peeta spat startling me from my thoughts as my eyes lift to him than to Haymitch who was on the receiving end of his irritation.

"The refreshments." Haymitch stated nonchalantly, shrugging as he went to down more of his drink.

"Okay, I think that's enough." Peeta stated getting up to try and remove the drink from Haymitch's hand, I watched as Peeta reached for the glass and was shoved backwards by Haymitch. Frowning I stopped the drumming of my fingers to see where this would go, this bit hadn't been in the books and it made me edgy as I eyed the pair.

"You've made me spill my drink." Haymitch stated looking down at his glass then to his clothing. "On my new pants…" He paused sending a look at Peeta then sideways glancing at me. "You know I think I'll go finish this in my room. I shouldn't have come around." He mumbled the last bit as he stumbled out of the room. It's amazing that he doesn't spill his drink when he walks, I thought watching his less than graceful exit as he gripped on to the door frame before disappearing beyond it.

"Can you believe that?" Peeta asked the moment Haymitch was out of sight, still standing he turned and looked down at me "I thought you said he'd sober up."

"He will." I state seeing Peeta's unbelieving gaze I relent "For the games, if he thinks we're worth it."

Peeta shifted looking to the door Haymitch had left through, before looking back down at me still sitting in the lavish blue chair. "I'm going to go talk to him," he stated taking a few steps towards the door before seeming to realize I wasn't following. Pausing Peeta looked back at me, "are you coming?" He asked as my hands plucked at the dress that covered my lap searching for an invisible string to pull at.

"Nah," I responded lifting my gaze to meet his, "I'm going to find my room… a hot shower sounds amazing right about now." I stated the last part more to myself than to him, Peeta shifted for a moment almost debating saying something but chose not to, instead he nodded than turned to leave.

Sighing to myself I tapped my fingers on my leg for a few moments, before getting up in search of my room.

I had ended up asking one of the Peacekeeper's that were on board the train for directions, he in turn had escorted me to my chambers with barely two words being spoken.

Rolling my head back I lifted my face to the oncoming streams of hot water, I knew that I had missed having hot water without having to heat it up on a stovetop or over an open fire but showering actually felt like I was in heaven.

I suppose having to bathe in a tub that was old and only concealed by a wrap around curtain for a year had something to do with that. It was a tossup between that or the fresh clean smell from the soap and shampoos. After scrubbing my body raw and cleaning every inch of me I stood in the shower until the hot water started to turn cold. Sighing I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower wrapping a fluffy white towel around my body as I left my private bathroom.

My room was a decent size, huge compared to what I had in the district.

Like in every part of the train the windows lined the walls, only the blinds were drawn to give the illusion of privacy. The bedspread was made of velvet and was a deep red color, I wonder if all the bedrooms have the same blood red sheets. I'm sure it's the capitols attempt at being humorous. A 'Welcome to your deathbed' sort of welcome sign, yeah, I didn't find it humorous.

Along the far wall was a pair of wooden sliding doors that lead to a walk in closet that held more clothes than anyone in district twelve more than likely would own in a life time, this seemed to be a common theme that the capitol probably enjoyed rubbing into the faces of its victims.

Taking a deep breath in through my nose I started walking towards the doors, there was no point trying to fight against it after all I would be wearing their clothes until I died, so making a fuss would be pointless at this point.

There was a lot to choose from, like I knew there would be, keeping it simple I changed into a white tank top and a knee length navy blue skirt that had a red belt I matched a pair of red heels with the outfit to start getting used to the feeling of heels again.

Leaving my wet hair down to hang around my shoulders I exited the bedroom to bump into Effie in the hallway, she looks startled by my appearance as she stands only a foot away from my door, I raise my eyebrows at her open mouth that had for once no words coming out of it. Trying to play nice I force a small smile on my lips, if she can tell it's forced, she doesn't show it, "sorry, did I scare you?" I ask not quiet meeting that sweet tone I had set out for.

"No, no." Effie shook her head, the wigs curls that were piled up on her head swayed slightly as she too put on a smile, hers much more convincing than mine. "Dinner will be served any minute now," she states bubbly as she spins in her heel I'm slightly surprised that it didn't snap at the abrupt movement, "come, come, Peeta and Haymitch should already be waiting for us." She stated as she starts to briskly walk away, I'm quick to follow and smile slightly at her back as I think she is trying to escape me.

We enter the dining room that is polished from the floors to the high ceilings, but the only thing I take notice of is Peeta seated alone at the table with a far off look on his face. "Where's Haymitch?" Effie asks as she makes her way to sit across from him, that's when I noticed I've stopped to stand at the doorway. Bowing my head out of embarrassment I hurry to take my seat next to Peeta as he answers Effie's question.

"Last time I saw him, he said he was going to take a nap." He responds looking from Effie to me as I take my seat quietly, my wet hair sends a shiver down my spine as a water droplet rolls over my shoulders and in that moment, I wish I had taken the time to dry my hair.

"Well it's been an exhausting day," Effie states as our waiters lift the tray lids off to reveal delicious looking food laid out, around the table sat plates and trays of: a thick carrot soup, green salad, lamb chops and mashed potatoes, cheese and fruit, there was even a chocolate cake, but what caught my eye was the steamy hot gravy that I would be coating my potatoes in.

My stomach growls at the thought, impatient no doubt, the simplest food was among my favorites and was a huge reminder of days long past. Days when I would come home from school and make a huge bowl of mashed potatoes and drown them in thick brown gravy, and then after eating my fill I would get into trouble from my mother who would walk into the kitchen and complain that I had yet again ruined my appetite for dinner.

Tears prickled at my eyes as I stared unseeing at the food until an elbow brushed against my arm, "hey," Peeta smiled a cheesy grin that I didn't have the energy to return as I instinctively wiped my hands over my face in case any tears had slipped free unnoticed, I don't have time for this. I scolded myself feeling the moisture that was on my fingertips, "don't cry, it's free." Peeta teased lightly "plus there's cake, now who doesn't love cake?" He was trying to lighten whatever mood I had fallen into, so I forced a smile because if he was willing to put behind him the mood he had been in earlier than I would try to put this one behind me as well.

"It's not the cake," I tell him slowly as I reach for the mashed potatoes and spoon a few scoops onto my plate before reaching for the gravy and pouring a generous amount on to the fluffy white substance. "It's this," I state gesturing to the plate, "back home these were my favorite. My mom," I paused briefly before continuing, "She used to say that instead of buying groceries she should just stock the house with potatoes and gravy, said she'd save a fortune in money and time." I laughed.

"Where's she now?" Effie asked picking up a teacup to take a sip, pinky held high in the air like a proper upper classman, "your mother was she the woman who visited with you?" She clarified.

Clearing my throat, "No," I replied straightening in my seat, there was something about the way she looked over her cup at me that seemed so dishonest and disconnected from the world that for a moment I pitied her because all she knew was the capitols ways, all of that fake makeup and hair over shadowed any real essence of a human being that might have been hidden there.

"Oh well you were quite popular today," She stated stirring her spoon around her soup bowl, "if you're serious about winning you should find ways to keep that popularity going." Effie offered the first real piece of advice before she started eating, nodding silently to myself I started to eat with my fellow train mates.

She's given me something to think about while I eat, ways to keep the audience's attention on me because I can't be forgettable because if they don't see me as a potential victor than I won't get sponsors and I won't be able to make it to the end with Peeta. After all I don't intend to use Katniss's tactics, I won't use romance advances to get their attention, even if I tried Peeta would never go for it.