Chapter Fourteen
May contain book/movie spoilers, Author's note will be at the bottom.
The second day goes much like the first, after a refreshing shower and a filling breakfast Peeta and I are once again in the gymnasium training, and just like the day before we start off trying to make a fire. Peeta is seated behind me his chest leaning lightly against my back as he sits up on his knees and leans his head over my shoulder with his arms resting against my sides, his hands sit on top of my own as we hold the stick between the rocks and dried leaves, he starts talking, and I close my eyes briefly his breath is tickling right under my ear and it's distracting. "Now just add a little more pressure," and he added more pressure on the back of my hands as they moved swiftly back and forth, rubbing the stick against the rocks and dried leaves and grass, a small amount of smoke started to raise from the rocks and it was probably the furthest thing from my mind as a dark blush rose in my cheeks and I found myself having to remember to breath.
I'd hugged Peeta before, on the chariot ride and when he came to check on me back on the train and we'd held hands nearly half a dozen times since the reaping, but having his chest pressed against my back as his arm were around my middle with his hands on mine felt entirely different. And this wasn't even a real embrace! It was innocent, just a friend helping out another friend, but the eyes from the other tributes and snickering from the careers as one of the females pointed directly at us, how discreet I frowned they were turning the whole situation inside out as I tried my hardest to shift slightly away from Peeta, which was a lot harder done then said. "Look, you've almost got it." He quietly continued his encouragement, like he had been doing for an hour.
With a sigh I stopped, forcing our hands to go still, my face was flustered and my hands were getting sore, I didn't doubt that I probably had a few slivers, but above all else I just wanted some space from…well everyone.
Space from Peeta.
Space from the lurking tributes.
From all of Panem, but I knew I'd never get that. "Peeta, let's take a break." I breathed quietly avoiding looking at him as my eyes stared unseeingly at the tiny bit of smoke that was slowly dissipating into the air. I thought of Katniss, of how they called her the girl on fire, I was no girl on fire; I couldn't even start a fire! The thought nearly brought a spiteful laugh to my lips, closing my eyes I forced myself to breathe again. This wasn't the time to think about that.
"But you were so close!" He protested withdrawing his arms from around me as I reopened my eyes.
"Tomorrow." I whispered before we both got to our feet, Peeta said nothing as I continued to avoid looking at him. Though I knew he could tell something was up, the careers were getting to me, the pressure was getting to me! But whose fault was that? Not Peeta's. Dropping my shoulders my eyes landed on the physical training area, we had yet to venture over there, and I thought it was about time we did.
"What's wrong?" He finally asked stepping directly in my line of sight, and effectively putting himself between me and the careers that were standing by the spear throwing area. Stop being stupid! I scolded myself as I met Peeta's blue stare, it's not his fault their stares are making me…uncomfortable. Huffing a laugh I ran my hand over my head messing with my bangs as I mustered up the courage to explain myself. Apparently I needed the extra moment to collect myself.
"They've been staring." I stated quietly, "it's…" I trailed off, embarrassing? Creepy? Straight up unnerving!
"Oh," Peeta spoke more to himself then to me as he glanced at the careers, "I hadn't noticed." He sounded distracted by the information, and I wanted to ask what he was thinking about, but assumed whatever he was thinking was something I probably didn't want to hear. So I changed the subject.
"We should move on to something more physical, mix it up a bit." I stated my mind drifting away from the careers and away from how closely Peeta stood.
"Haymitch said," I cut him off with a roll of my eyes.
"I know what he said, but that doesn't mean we have to sit over here playing…" This time I cut myself off with a shake of my head, playing what exactly? House? Friends? More than friends? "We're not weak Peeta. And if they think we are they will mark us as easy targets." My voice was steady, steadier then I thought it would be when I met his gaze, "we should go over to the hand to hand combat mat, practice throwing some knives…spears. Something." Something that wouldn't make us look soo…couple like…
Standing off to the side I watched as Peeta sparred with one of the trainers, I'd already worked up a seat sparring with one of the trainers before him. Our tactic and form is completely different. I realized watching Peeta who used his strength to his advantage, I used my small stature and speed to my advantage not to mention my acrobats lessons provided me with a flexibility that allowed me to get out of tough spots and use others strength and weight against them.
"I think you could take him." A deep voice rumbled from behind me, turning I realized this person was close, too close as I stumbled and his hands landed on my upper arms to prevent what I was sure could have been an ungraceful fall with how startled I was. I was sure my face was comical as my eyes widened and I took a step back breaking his contact from my arms, once we were in the arena I had accepted that inevitably I would have to talk to a tribute or two…but I never thought one would seek me out before the arena, and if I did talk to another tribute I'd always assumed it would be Rue…not Cato.
Noticing his smirk I forced my mouth closed into a frown, and crossed my arms protectively over my chest. "Peeta's not my enemy." I stated trying to keep up a calm façade when inside I was anything but, as my heart hammered in my ears and as my eyes darted around, I realizing that he was alone and unarmed. How did he get so close without me noticing? If this was the arena…I'd be dead. I swallowed around my suddenly dry throat, I had to stay alert, and if I was going to stay alive I couldn't afford to let down my guard again.
"If that's true then how come only one of you can win?" He was trying to get under my skin, that I knew, but I also had an advantage since I already knew how to get Peeta home. "He's going to take the first chance he gets," he was looking over my shoulder now, his smirk still twisting his lips as he watched Peeta, "and when you least expect it. He'll end you." His gaze lowered back to mine as he tried to soften it, only I wasn't buying into it, not his prediction, or his false show of concern, "I could protect you." His tone was low as he tried to sound soft and sincere. He was failing.
"You mean until you end me? Thanks, but I can protect myself." Rage twisted Cato's features; did he really expect me to just turn on Peeta? To join him? I knew it was a lie on his part, because I knew what he was like and that this was only an angle to weaken Peeta and I, and it wasn't going to work.
Cato lowered himself until he was only inches away from mine, which since he was about a foot taller then I was, it was quite a sight. "You might not want me now, but trust me Princess," his eyes roamed over me as he paused, suppressing a shiver I held my arms tighter to my body, "when you're dying alone. Without your lover-boy, you'll wish you took me up on this offer." It was quiet for a few seconds as Cato and I glared at each other, until contact on my shoulder caused me to jump broadening his grin considerably seeing that his words had indeed affected me, Cato looked over my head.
"Cato," Peeta's calm voice washed over my panicking heart beat as I realized that he was the one to put a hand on my shoulder. Breath. I scolded myself as my eyes squeezed closed for three seconds, that's all you get. Three seconds to panic and feel afraid, any more and you're dead. It wasn't a calming thought, but it worked as I opened my eyes to hear Cato address Peeta who stood rigid behind me.
"Lover-boy." Cato replied before his eyes lowered to look at me, once again taking his time as his eyes roamed a little more than what was necessary, "Later, Princess." He grinned before strutting off.
"Lover-boy?" Peeta mumbled from behind me confused by the nickname as I turned to face him, grateful that I no longer had to face Cato. As much as I hated to admit it, the career made me nervous. "What was that about?" He asked once the shock wore off,
"Which part?" I asked looking around to find something for us to do next.
"All of it. Why was he over here talking with you to begin with?" Was there an edge to Peeta's voice? My eyes landed on him, studying his face as I tried to figure out why he had sounded so off.
Shrugging I changed the subject, "Should we practice spear throwing next? Or it's almost lunch…" I finished quietly watching how Peeta clenched his jaw, so there was an edge…but why?
"Lunch I guess." He answered
"So, are you going to tell me what that was all about?" Peeta questioned as we sat at our lunch table, swallowing the grape I had popped into my mouth moments before I shrugged.
"Why?" I asked before adding "It wasn't important." Like an afterthought.
"Because!" Peeta blurted before quieting himself and glancing over at the career table, I followed his gaze and met Cato's stare head on, had he been watching us? I wondered as he waved his fingers tauntingly in our direction causing the small brunette female to glance over at us as well, Clove I believe her name was, I frowned. He's not helping. I noted irritated before removing my stare as I returned to my grapes and popped another one into my mouth. In another reality, some guy waving at me like that would have been enough to make me blush, but then in another reality that boy hopefully wouldn't be trying to kill me. That reason alone was probably why I didn't blush.
"He offered me his protection." I confessed after a tense silence, Peeta's eyes widened and I glared at my grapes like everything was their fault. It was quiet for a little while until he thought over what I had just told him.
"If I thought that he would actually…keep you safe, I'd tell you to do it." His eyes were downcast when I finally looked up at him, "But Kira," I shook my head when his gaze lifted to look at me about to tell me something I already knew, better than he did even. It was strange seeing Peeta like this, the look on his face was something I couldn't describe.
I held up my hand forcing him to be silent. "I told him I could protect myself." I admitted seeing a ghost of a smile on Peeta's lips, "he was only trying to scare me."
"Scare you?" Peeta repeated as I nodded.
"He tried to tell me that when I least expected it you would turn on me, and I'd die alone." I shrugged like it was no big deal, "I think we scare him." Peeta laughed, though it sounded hallow as he brought a hand up to his face. "What?" I asked raising my eyebrows in question.
"He's a career. You seriously think two kids from twelve scare him?" My cheeks tinted pink as I stared at my grapes, I could tell him why. Explain away the nick name…but what if things get awkward? Having the last person I lo-cared for acting awkward around me before I died would be almost unbearable. The only thing worse would be if he did turn on me…but that…that would never happen. "Kira," he whispered softly, "Cato's a career. He's been training his entire life for the games, he's not worried about us. Though," he paused looking in Cato's direction once again, "it is strange that he would offer you protection in the games."
"It's because he thinks we're together." I blurted as a blush claimed my cheeks, why did I have to say that? I mentally yelled at myself. I hadn't wanted to say that!
"What?" Peeta mumbles confused, I feel small under his stare trying to hide my red face I divert my gaze and explain.
"Our united front has been very convincing," looking at my clean arm, the one that had been beautifully painted yesterday I can't help but smile sadly. Washing it off had been the worst part of my day. "They've been watching us," I repeated what I had told him just over an hour ago, "when you painted my arm," instinctually my fingers on my lefts hand went to where once beautiful vines and small yellow flowers had been as a small smile started on my lips, "while you helped me try to start a fire. Our united front is coming off as too…" I paused long enough to bite at my lower lip, it was a bad habit whenever I didn't want to say something or became nervous. "Affectionate." I chose my word carefully avoiding 'couple like' or 'loving,' or anything that directly related to being intimate.
"Oh," Peeta spoke as he thought over what I had just said before a small grin spread across his face accompanied with a slight blush as he shrugged, "so what, let them think what they want. If anything Cato's jealous."
My mouth opened, Jealous? Cato? Jealous?! "J-jealous…of what?" I stammered, and then winced at the sound.
"Of you," He chuckled then amended, "well us actually, I guess." He paused as I stared blankly at him, "Think about it, if we were ahm you know. Together. Then we'd have the one thing they could never have, that no one in the arena has ever had." I frowned as my stomach twisted into a knot, I knew what he was getting at but where my mind went was the darkest place possible as I lowered my eyes. "Kira?" His voice was quiet, questioning at the change of my demeanor.
"I know what you're getting at," I bit my lip as my mind circled around the idea of Peeta dying in the arena, "it's just if two people that actually lo-cared," I corrected myself wincing again, Love. My mind whispered painfully, I can't love anyone here…I can care…but if I lose anyone else that I love… I shook myself as I continued to explain, "If they went into the arena and one of them died that would be the worst pain imaginable." I turned to look at the careers table which was oddly empty, how long have we been talking? "I wouldn't be jealous."
Peeta and I don't talk much after lunch when we got back to training, I think my comment about not being jealous bothered him but I'm too grateful for the silence to bother attempting to make any type of conversation or to make amends.
We've moved on to spear throwing, both of us taking turns throwing a spear at the targets that are set up ranging from five feet away to twenty five. Throwing the spears is more difficult then throwing knives, which I can do without breaking a sweat; it takes me nearly a half hour to hit the fifteen feet mark. Peeta doesn't have an issue with the distance, throwing around one hundred pound bags has given him the edge in that way, though his aim isn't as good as mine which it why he's still only hitting the bulls eye for the ten feet dummies.
Watching another spear glide through the air I frown deep in thought, in a couple days instead of throwing these at targets we'll be throwing them at each other. The spear impales the dummy through the heart, and I step back to allow Peeta to line up his next shot. We've been doing this for a half hour, like a well oiled machine one of us steps forward picks a spears and weighs it in the palm of our hand getting a feel for it since not every spear is the same, before getting into a throwing stance and eyeing our target and sending the spear flying through the air. I watch Peeta make his throw, but all I can think of is what our best plan of action is.
The most obvious answer is to fake a relationship, if Cato's comment is anything to go off of then they already think we might be in one, It's not the worst idea. And it isn't since the worst idea is not doing what I knew would work and get Peeta and myself killed as a result, that was the worst that had crossed my mind. Snow didn't believe that Katniss loved Peeta, and they kissed…I couldn't kiss Peeta. My cheeks flared as my stomach gave another twist, THUNK Peeta's spear hit its mark. Looking over at Peeta my stomach gave another painful twist, it wasn't supposed to be this way, I wasn't supposed to claim that I had feelings for Peeta… Peeta turned and opened his mouth about to say something, let alone actually have feelings for him.
Lifting my hand up to my cheek my finger tips brushed just under my eye feeling moisture I turned and headed to the elevator. Training was ending for the day anyway. I had promised that I wouldn't cry again, that I couldn't afford to look weak. I was angry as I heard Peeta call after me, the elevator door opened and I stepped in followed by Peeta who looked concerned, but I was angry as Haymitch's words rang loud and clear in my ears, I do know of Kira's skills. And her weaknesses. And now I know them too. My hands balled up into fists, the reason I didn't notice Cato behind me, the same reason he brought up Peeta. My weakness was Peeta Mellark. And what was worse, was that Cato figured it out. Clenching my jaw I felt the immediate discomfort set in, my guard was down when we were together, because I felt safe and because I…cared about him.
Sorry the chapter is soo short! But hey we left off on a positive note, kind of, right? And two chapters in less than a week! After not updating for awhile you guys definitely deserve the chapter…unfortunately this isn't all positive, as I mentioned at the end of my last chapter my mother is sick, her surgery is scheduled for June and depending on the results of the biopsy I may be temporarily moving in with her. Now normally I wouldn't bother to share personal info like this, but my mother doesn't have internet…I know right? In her defense she is going on fifty seven…I think. Anyway, I will try to update one more time before June but just in case I can't I wanted you all to know that I have not gone a-wall and will return. I just don't know how long, or if I will be staying at my mother's for. As always you can feel free to PM, if I've been absent for any longer than a month that will be the only way to get updates between chapters.
Okay! Thank you: Grapejuice101, for your review you've been such a loyal reader and I'm honored that you still care about this story!
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