Because That's How It Is
I.
Poe carefully places the leather holster in a piece of colored cloth he'd managed to scrape up. It looks terrible, but it's not like they have boxes and paper and ribbon on a rebel base in the middle of the jungle. In fact, he snagged the cloth from Kalonia's medical supplies and feels a little bad about it.
He's about to leave the Falcon and find Finn when he turns around and almost trips over BB-8, who whistles up a storm at him.
"Sorry, buddy!" Poe exclaims, stepping around him. "Didn't know you were down there. I thought you were with Rey today."
BB tweets an indignant reply. "Okay, sorry, sorry," Poe tells him. "I didn't realize she sent you off. Maybe she wanted to be alone today. You can stick with me then. We'll go take a look at the new ship."
There is an innocent question from around his feet as they stop at the top of the ramp of the Falcon. "It's for Finn," Poe tells him. "I picked it up when I met that contact on Ord Mantell. Think he'll like it?" He shakes out the makeshift wrapping and shows his droid the new holster he'd found for Finn. He's excited and hope Finn likes it.
BB-8 rolls in front of him and forces him to a stop. The flurry of beeps is almost too fast to follow.
"Slow down, pal!" Poe tells him, crouching low. "What are you talking about, my mom's ring? I'm not giving him the ring, I'm giving him a holster for his gun." Tweeet Beep Whorp. "Oh, come on, BB. He's just a friend." Poe stands and wraps up the gift again in the scrubs. "My best friend—after you, of course."
Sometimes Poe can't believe the things that come out of his droid's vocal modulator, until he remembers that he programmed BB-8 and spends the most time with him. He shakes his head and starts down the ramp. "It's not like that, we're definitely not doing that, and if you say anything to him, you'll be tighteningX-wing bolts for a week."
BB-8 practically screeches and zooms down the ramp. Poe feels bad for overreacting and sighs as he stops at the bottom, looking for his droid. He'll have to make it up to BB-8 somehow, maybe get him a lubrication bath next time they are off world.
Until Chewbacca walks by and tells Poe he agrees with BB-8, and that he should get on with proposing to Finn before BB-8 does it for him. Chewie doesn't wait for a response before he lopes up the ramp to the Falcon, which means Poe can't even try to protest.
II.
"He'll be all right, you know," Dr. Kalonia says, coming up behind where Finn is sitting in a chair next to the medical bunk on the Tantive IV.
"He will?" Finn asks, glancing up before he has a chance to hide his emotions—the worry, the fear, the feeling of helplessness. Kalonia smiles down at him with so much understanding and compassion that he looks away. "I mean, I know. Of course he will." Not his best recovery, but hopefully she'll let it slide.
She doesn't.
She pulls up a chair and sits down next to him. "Do you know how many times I've had to patch him up?" she asks. "For the best pilot in the galaxy, he's awfully good at getting himself into trouble."
"Yeah, he is," Finn replies with a brittle laugh. "He looked like hell the first time I met him."
"Ah, the infamous rescue," Kalonia murmurs. "Yes, he came back from that mission rather banged up, too. And he made it, like he has every other time. Oh, the stories I could tell you about Poe Dameron!"
Finn smiles. "Let me guess, he's not a great patient. He gives you a hard time?"
"Got it in one," she laughs. "You know him well."
He hasn't known Poe for that long, less than a year, but he'd learned that about him right away. And experienced it yet again as he was trying to help Poe when he'd been injured on their last mission. Poe, of course, had kept going, pushed it and pushed it, until he'd stepped off the Falcon and practically collapsed. So yes, Finn knew.
"You also care about him," Kalonia offers quietly, and Finn glances at her in surprise. She holds his gaze. "Don't you."
"Of course I do," Finn replies, though he knows what she's saying and deliberately ignores the implication. "He's one of my best friends here."
She hums under her breath and smiles again. After a moment, she pats his knee. "He cares about you, too. Both of you hardly leave each other's side whenever I see you here."
"He'd do the same for any of his pilots," Finn protests, and she shakes her head.
"Not like he does for you," she tells him, and he feels the heat in his face, but he ignores that too. "And not like you do for him. That's something special." She stands up, puts her hand on his shoulder this time.
"He'll probably sleep for a little longer, then I want to wake him up to do a quick check. Are you going to stay?"
Finn nods, not sure what to say. She squeezes his shoulder. "You should tell him how you feel," she says. "Before it's too late." She doesn't wait for a response before she turns to leave, which means Finn can't even try to protest.
III.
They are bruised and bloody, covered in mud, and the freighter they'd stolen is a pot-marked wreck in the jungle behind them. Leia stares at them so hard that even Poe can't bring himself to say anything. She stares, narrows her eyes at them, then stares some more. When she raises her hand, he knows they're done for.
"I swear on a bantha's wrinkled testicles that you two are the biggest pair of space idiots I've ever met." Poe winces; when Leia throws around body parts as insults, there's a good chance someone is going to lose one. "Do you even have a brain cell between you? Or do you share it? That must be it, because you—" She points at Poe first, and he literally braces his feet against the ground for whatever is coming.
"You—I know you. I've seen what mayhem you're capable of, Dameron. I'm not surprised you show up looking like this in something like that after pulling what you pulled." She gestures at the mud and the ship and Poe. "But you—" And now she points at Finn, but he's not used to getting the dress-down from Leia like Poe is, and he flinches, looking at Poe for support. "You're smart. You're strong. Don't be a sidekick, Finn. Be a leader."
"Yes, ma'am," Finn murmurs. Poe doesn't even know what to say, he's rarely seen Leia so frustrated and annoyed, at least at someone besides him. And Finn is definitely not his sidekick; they are equally capable of screwing up and getting in trouble, Finn is just better at getting out of trouble. Sure, they're a mess and had caused a minor planetary incident, but they'd escaped relatively unscathed and had brought back a half decent ship.
"Don't 'yes ma'am' me," she snaps. "I send you out with him to make sure something like this doesn't happen. To keep it under the radar. Only you're too blinded by the hair and the smile and the pretty eyes to think straight anymore."
Finn opens his mouth to protest, but nothing comes out. Leia turns back to Poe. "And you!" she exclaims. "It was obvious from the minute you landed after Jakku that you were obsessed with him, but this is ridiculous. Stop staring at his ass. You've got to keep your head on." She taps him—not gently—on the side of his head. "The one up here, Poe, not the one in your pants."
Poe flinches at the crude reference—not to mention the reference to Finn's ass—and remains silent. Which is apparently even worse.
"What, no smart-ass remark?" Leia demands. "Good. Because I'm right. You're distracted by each other. Get it out of your system, or you're done going out together. I'm tired of the dirt and the blood and the—" she waves both hands at them "—kriffing pining. Fix it. And file your report as soon as you do, because we have a sympathizer in the Sinta Glacier Colony. I want you to make contact. Soon."
She storms off, leaving them both standing there, silent and still.
"Well," says Poe, running a hand through his hair and shaking some dirt out. "That was new."
He glances sideways at Finn, who looks more annoyed than chastised as he adjusts his pants. "She didn't mean it, buddy," Poe tells him. "She wasn't there."
"I was distracted by the damn mynocks," Finn tells him. "Not your hair."
"I know," Poe agrees. "And I was watching those bounty hunters, not your ass." He pauses. "No offense."
"None taken," Finn replies. "So is she going to stay mad at us forever?"
"At you? No way," Poe tells him. "She clearly thinks you're my keeper now, so as long as you keep me in line, she'll love you."
"And you?" Finn asks, with a half-smile. "What about you?"
Poe shrugs. "I'll make something up about getting it out of my system, I guess."
"Getting what out of your system?" Finn asks. They start toward the cave, where they have quarters and can finally clean up.
"I have no idea, buddy," Poe lies. "I have no idea."
Only he wonders if Leia might be right after all.
IV.
Finn watches the X-wings take off, not sure whether he is more worried or pissed off. Leia made good on her promise and sent Poe out with Jess on recon. Finn is leaving the next day for a supply run with Chewbacca. They had messed up on Jinata, and Finn hopes they can earn back the chance to work together again. They make a good team, and someone needs to head out to Sinta Glacier Colony to meet with their new informant there.
He turns to head toward the Falcon and runs straight into Snap and Karè. They are standing right behind him, one of them looking smug, one of them sympathetic. He takes a step back, sensing an ambush.
"So she really did break up the band," says Snap, shaking his head.
"What are you talking about?" Finn asks, then looks at Karè for an answer.
"I'm sorry the General's not letting you and Poe work together," she says, patting his arm. "I know it's hard."
Finn waves her off. "It's fine," he says. "We've got our own assignments this time, no big deal."
Snap crosses his arms over his chest. "We heard what Leia said," he admits. "About the hair and the eyes and the—" He gestures vaguely behind Finn; even Karè holds back a grin.
"What?" Finn asks. "You did? Did Poe tell you?"
"'Course not," Karè tells him. "I think he was embarrassed, and it takes a lot to embarrass Poe Dameron." Snap nods in agreement. "Bastian told Iolo who told Jess who told me—"
"Who told me," Snap finishes. "So how are you doing with it?"
"With what?" Finn is not following the conversation very well, but that's not unusual with Snap, who sometimes leaves a lot of his thoughts behind in his head.
"With the whole pining thing," Snap says, and Finn feels his stomach drop with mortification. Fortunately, Karè punches her husband in the arm.
"That's not what he means," she tells Finn. "What he means is, well, er…" She looks at Snap with a sudden loss of words. Finn dreads what might come out of their mouths next.
"Finn," says Snap, stepping closer and laying a hand on his shoulder. "Have you ever considered whether Leia was right?"
"What?" Finn stares at him.
"That maybe there's something there, between you and Poe," Karè says, trying to smooth things over. "I mean, you do both seem distracted sometimes." A pause. "Like now."
"What?" he says again, then shakes his head. "I cannot believe we are having this conversation. Are you serious?"
"Why not?" asks Snap. "He a good-looking guy—" Karè side eyes her husband, but nods in agreement—"and he's definitely into you. Maybe it's worth a try—get it out of your system, like she said."
"Get what out of my system?" Finn asks. "And what do you mean, he's into me? He's one of my best friends, he's not into anything more than…than being best friends."
"He gets you gifts when he goes off-world," Karè points out. "He didn't leave your side when you were injured, like you don't leave his side every time he's hurt."
"He got something for Leia last time he was off-world," Finn points out, though he suspects it's a losing battle. "And I'm pretty sure he sat with you, Wexley, when you came back half-conscious from Dantooine. It's what we do around here."
"He didn't bring me a present," Snap murmurs. "Or hold my hand."
"Look, we don't mean to pry—" Karè starts.
"Could have fooled me," Finn mutters.
"But Leia usually knows what she's talking about," she finishes. "Maybe you should think about it."
"Think about what again?" Finn asks.
"You," says Snape. "Poe." And he makes a rude gesture that Karè ends with an elbow to his side.
"Right." Finn gives them each a hard look, enough that they both glance away. "Well, this has been the most awkward conversation ever. Thanks for that. I'm going to try to forget this ever happened."
Only he wonders if Leia—and Snap and Karè—might be right after all.
V.
"Poe!" Rey calls from behind him, but Poe keeps walking, ducking his head over his datapad, pretending like he's studying it carefully and doesn't hear her. Of course, he's not even looking at it, but he has a good idea of why she's running after him. Again. It's the third time this week.
The trip to Tatooine had been relatively uneventful. They'd dropped Rey off for a few days, spent some time exploring a few nearby systems with Chewbacca, then picked her up in Mos Eisley. She'd been quiet but more composed, confident, and happy, like she'd found some sort of peace on Tatooine. Poe was glad for her.
Unfortunately, ever since they'd got back, she's been watching him closely, dropping hints, then outright asking about him and Finn. He'd once told her to make an appointment, since she was hardly the only one giving him a hard time (Jess had been hounding him for months.) He had hoped she'd forgotten about it, but apparently, she hasn't. She runs to catch up with him, touching his shoulder to stop his determined escape.
"Poe!" she exclaims. "We have an appointment, remember?"
He gives her an innocent look. "Sorry, I'm right in the middle of—"
"No, we have an appointment, check your schedule." She motions to the datapad, and sure enough—there she is, written into his schedule. He glances up at her and narrows his eyes.
"How'd you get on my schedule?" he asks. "You're not doing the—" He waves his hand in front of her face, like he saw her do on the Star Destroyer so many weeks ago. She rolls her eyes, which is better than smacking him on the arm like she often does.
He suddenly misses Leia.
"Of course I didn't, I asked Connix to add me," she said. "I wanted to talk about another trip."
Poe glances up at her in surprise. "What? You're leaving?"
"No, but it got me on your schedule," she says, then crosses her arms in front of her chest. "Where do you want to talk?"
He sighs and runs his hand over his face. "Look, if you want to talk about what I think you want to talk about—"
"—you and Finn," she says, but he ignores her.
"—then there's nothing to talk about." He shrugs and gives her a smile.
"Why not?" she demands, following him as he continues his walk. Since she seems determined to press the issue, he does not head anywhere near people, but skirts the edge of the landing area, walking in between the ships.
"Look, it's sort of private, when you think about it," he tells her, hoping that will end it.
"True," she agrees, surprising him. "But you're my two best friends—" That surprises him even more, and it must show on his face, because she frowns. "What? You might be insufferable and arrogant and completely annoying, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you."
"Right," he murmurs, shaking his head as he tries to figure out whether she's said a good thing or a bad thing. "Someone might question your taste in friends if that's how you pick 'em."
"Poe," she says in that tone that makes him miss Leia again. She stomps her foot. "I don't even know what I was saying."
He grins over his shoulder at her. "Something about how I am—despite my many flaws—one of your best friends, apparently."
"And so is Finn," she continues, barely missing a beat. "I just want to see you both happy. I know you care about him, and I know he cares about you." She pauses, but he doesn't say anything. Apparently, he missed his cue. "Aren't you going to ask how I know?"
"No, I'm not," he tells her. "I figured it was probably a Jedi thing."
"It's not a Jedi thing," she says. "You're impossible sometimes, you know that?"
"Yes, I do," he says. "How can I not when you're always telling me?" He stops abruptly and manages to startle her before she walks into his back. "So how do you know? Do you follow Finn around badgering him as well?"
"I don't have to badger him," she says.
"So he…what? Tells you things? About him? And me?" Poe doesn't want to know, but can't help the words spilling out. He immediately shakes his head, waves his arms, and starts walking again. "Never mind. Whatever you talk about with Finn is between you and him."
"Then you should talk to him!" she exclaims, still following him. "Poe, stop making yourself miserable—"
"Actually," he says, shaking a finger in her face. "I am not miserable. I'm not some sorry nerf-herder pining for something he can't ever have. Because I already have something really great, Rey. He's my best friend, my co-general, and it's all good. I'm happy with what we have, and I don't want to ruin that."
"No, you're scared," she says.
No, "I'm pragmatic," he says, starting to lose patience. "Believe it or not, I'm the same way when I fly. I calculate the risks and make the best decision." She looks so skeptical and ready to argue, he switches tactics completely to throw her off. Stepping closer, he lays a hand on her arm, softens his face, and even smiles. "I appreciate your concern, I do, but there's nothing to be concerned about. We're fine. I'm fine."
"I don't believe you," she says.
"I don't care whether you believe me or not," he shrugs. "It's the truth."
"I can't believe you would deny yourself a chance for something special, to be happy." She narrows her eyes at him. "You are the most stubborn person I know."
"No, you are the most stubborn person you know," he replies with a big grin. "I'm the most insufferable and annoying person you know. Now, if you don't mind, I have to start getting ready for this big meeting on Naboo. I've got less than a week to brush up on my galactic history, not to mention my complete lack of diplomatic skills."
He leaves her there among the ships, completely vexed. He does appreciate her concern, though he's not sure why she's so concerned. Yes, sometimes he thinks about it, about wanting more, and sometimes he thinks Finn might even be interested, but most of the time they're both too busy. Poe is happy with what they have, and the risk of losing it is not one he's ready to take so soon after losing so much. Maybe that will change someday, maybe soon, but for now, he wishes the rest of the Resistance would leave them alone. It will happen when it happens.
The meeting on Naboo is over, and the closing dinner is loud and crowded, hot and oppressive. Poe is tired of standing, tired of socializing with people he barely knows, tired of eating things he doesn't want so that he doesn't offend anyone. He's tired of politicians complimenting him to gain favor, questioning him for information he's already shared, and trying to strike last minute deals over drinks. He's tired of it all. He spots Finn nearby, alone for once, and hurries over.
"You ready to leave yet?" he murmurs, standing close by Finn's shoulder. Finn turns, his face close to Poe's, and smiles. He looks as tired as Poe feels.
"Think we can?" he asks quietly. Poe glances at his watch and sighs.
"Probably too early," he says. "Only I can't eat another bite, and I don't want to talk to another politician for at least six months."
Finn laughs quietly. "I know exactly how you feel. We should stick together, maybe that'll make it easier."
"Good plan." Poe glances around the room, sees someone walking toward them and turns his back so he's facing Finn. "Want to dance?"
"Seriously?" Finn asks. Poe rolls his eyes to the side, jerking his head slightly to indicate the determined-looking Senator coming up behind him. Finn nods, grabs Poe's hand, and leads him toward an area where several beings are dancing. A group of musicians are playing a slow tune, one they can easily sway to and still talk.
"Who are they?" asks Finn, watching the Senator move away with a frown.
"Senator from Jinata, I think."
"I hate Jinata," says Finn. "Almost as much as Jakku."
"Yeah, we have bad luck there," Poe murmurs. He's quiet for a moment. The music changes to a well-known love song that sees a few more beings join in. Finn starts to pull away, but Poe holds on to his waist, keeping him there and pulling him closer, pressing his cheek against Finn's.
"Stay," he murmurs into his ear. "This is nice."
Finn hums in agreement, but Poe can hear the uncertainty in it.
"Relax," he says. "We're allowed to enjoy this."
"I am," says Finn. "It's just…well, I've never danced before. With you."
"I've never danced with you before," Poe says. He takes a leap. "I like it."
"Me too," Finn murmurs so quietly Poe barely hears him. He smiles to himself.
"Remember that time Leia laid into us, after that one mission?"
"Which one?"
"Jinata."
"Always Jinata," Finn laughs. "Yeah, I remember."
"You ever think…or wonder…if she was right?"
He feels Finn slow down, holds him tighter so he doesn't stop, or try to run away.
"You mean," Finn says after a long silence "If I'm distracted by your hair and you stare at my ass?"
Poe huffs a laugh against Finn's ear and is fairly sure the other man shivers. Finn's hand starts tracing patterns on his lower back, and the simple motion makes Poe feel warm and secure.
"Yeah, that," he says. "She's not the only one who called me out, that's for sure."
"Kalonia got me once," Finn admits. "That time you were in the medbay."
"Which time was that?" They laugh, given how often they were both in the medbay. "BB-8 is always giving me a hard time, and Rey grilled me last week. Again."
"She's always bothering me about it. Snap and Karè tried to talk to me once, too. It was unbelievably awkward." Finn laughs, a hint of sadness coloring the sound as he remembers their lost friend. They continue dancing—to the music, around the issue—until Finn speaks again. "If Leia was here, watching, she'd say it again, wouldn't she?"
"It'd probably be even worse," Poe tells him, then takes another leap. "Maybe she'd be right. I think she was right, even then, about some things."
"We don't share a brain cell," Finn points out.
Poe hums in agreement.
"You do have nice hair," Finn tells him. "And nice eyes." Poe can feel Finn smile against his cheek. "Please don't tell me I have a great ass, though."
"I could, but I won't," Poe murmurs. He brings his hand up to Finn's neck, caresses it gently as he presses a light kiss to Finn's cheek and takes a leap he'd honestly set aside and hadn't planned to make until that moment. "There are too many other things I love about you more."
Finn's feet stop. His body stops. His arms loosen around Poe. "What?" he whispers.
"You heard me," Poe says, and starts them moving again. "She was right, and Rey, and BB and all the others. I never got it out of my system. Don't think I ever could." He's taking a huge risk here, but he's also hopeful. He's not sure what's changed in the week since he was last badgered about it, maybe nothing. Maybe it's the atmosphere: the low lights, the soft music, the two of them swaying together. Maybe it's something he wants more than he thought, and doesn't want to give up now that it's right before him.
Finn is quiet as they sway, still cheek to cheek. "So that's how it is?"
"For me," Poe murmurs, holding him tighter. He's rarely felt so vulnerable, keenly aware it could still go sideways if Finn decides he doesn't want things to change. Until they'd started dancing, Poe hadn't wanted things to change either; now it's all he wants.
This time Finn hums in agreement. Poe's heart is beating wildly in his chest, waiting for Finn's answer. The song ends, and another starts, and Finn takes a deep breath as he finally meets Poe's eyes. "For me, too," he says. "She was right. And Rey and Snap and Karè and Kalonia and all the others who assumed that's how it was." His eyes drift down to Poe's lips, and he leans forward. "Because that's how it is."
And before Poe can make any kind of remark, sappy or sarcastic, Finn's lips meet his, and he smiles before pulling Finn close and returning the kiss. It's breathtaking and incredible, and yet also so natural, so comfortable, that it's like something they've done a thousand times already. It feels right, like it's meant to be, even after waiting for so long.
Because that's how it's always been for them, and Leia would be smiling with approval.
Author's Note:
Many thanks to mssrj_335 for helping with the idea and approving several scenarios, or just generally cheering them on.
May the 4th be with you, and thank you for reading!