SIX
Wednesday, 3 September 1944
They didn't get the chance to speak before dinner. Slughorn had been so impressed with them that he asked them to remain behind. They spent the next hour discussing their previous lessons from "Durmstrang" and what they hoped to achieve after school. Their talk ended with an invitation to Slug Club; something they tried to decline, but accepted in the end.
When they got to the dorms, her roommates were in the common room along with a few other Slytherins. They invited them over to talk and they spent time getting to know them. The conversations continued over dinner in the Great Hall. Hermione found herself enjoying their company and saw Malfoy was as well.
After dinner they made their way to the library. They had a few hours before curfew and Hermione knew Malfoy wanted to stay out of the dorms for as long as he could. They found a secluded spot near the Restricted Section and she cast various charms and spells to keep intruders away and themselves silenced.
"What happened?" she asked him, sitting cross legged in front of him.
"It was a panic attack," he said. "I tried to listen to the lecture, but I found myself thinking of Sixth and Seventh Years and how my education has been fucked thus far, so I started tuning out. I thought about how easy it would be to run away and start over here." He propped his elbows on his drawn-up knees and put his head in his hands. "But as cowardly as my nature is, I couldn't leave you."
"You did though."
He snorted and shook his head. "In the long run, Granger. We need each other to get home. You have people waiting for you. Friends, family… Weasley."
"You have family-"
"I have my mother," he interrupted. "She's the only reason I've done what I have. My insubordination nearly cost her life."
"It's still someone waiting for you," she said, her voice light. He looked up at her, head still in his hands. She offered a smile and kind eyes. "I actually don't need you to go back, but she does."
He snorted and lifted his head; the faintest of smiles on his lips. "Thanks, I think."
She inclined her head. "I know we have our differences, but in the interest of being partners while we're stuck here, you can talk to me. About anything."
He nodded, but changed the subject. "Tell me about Riddle? Did he approach you after Charms?"
"I'm not sure it was on purpose. I was still in a daze after you took off. I wasn't paying attention and I walked into him. He just helped me pick up my stuff and then left with Claudia to see Dippet."
"What about in Potions?"
"While you were napping-"
"I wasn't-"
"We were alone in the store room," she finished, smirking at his protest. "He didn't do much. Just wanted to push me."
His eyes narrowed and she looked down under the weight of his stare. "Push you, how?"
"You know how he is. He feeds off the fear so he just said a few things to get a rise out of me." She shrugged and tucked a chuck of hair behind her ears. Her heart skipped a beat as she forced herself not to betray her emotions. She was still beating herself up over the incident; she didn't need Malfoy to know and judge her either.
"We still need to go to Dippet in the morning and see about you dropping that class. You can take Ancient Runes with me if you want."
"No," she said, a little too quickly. She cleared her throat and shook her head.
"No? You'd rather subject yourself to some alone time with the Dark Lord?"
"No!" she snapped. "I might learn something in Astronomy that can be useful for us. Who knows, it may have been something in the stars."
"Maybe we ought to switch to Divination?"
Hermione's face twisted in utter disgust to which he smirked. "I wouldn't take that class if it were the only way to keep my magic."
"I do recall hearing the know-it-all swot once walked out of a class and-" he feigned a gasp, "dropped a subject."
She rolled her eyes at him, but smiled. "It's all worthless drivel. You don't believe in that stuff do you?"
He shrugged. "I never really thought about it." He bent his head forward and reached back to rub at the kink in his neck. "If you don't want to drop it, then I'll see about taking Astronomy."
"If you insist. Ancient Runes might give us some insight to our situation as well."
He sighed. "What if-"
"He won't attack me in a classroom full of people. That's not his style. Not yet. Besides, he's too interested in me to hurt me."
"Not making me feel better about you being alone with him."
"You're alone with him in your dorm and I'm alone with him for Astronomy. We can't be glued to one another's sides the entire time we're here. It would be good for us to watch him separately; see what we can learn. Maybe we can use it to our advantage when we get back."
"You're still wanting to see if we can change the future. That's too dangerous. What if we change something so much that our future doesn't exist anymore?"
"I'm not setting out to change anything. I just want to observe and learn. That's all I ever want to do. If it gets to be too dangerous, I'll drop the subject."
"Fine."
"Besides, I think it would do better for both of us to stop being so fearful around him. That's one of the reasons he's so drawn to me. If I show him I'm not afraid-"
"It won't matter whether you're afraid of him or not, Granger. It's your power. It oozes out of you whether you mean it to or not. Fear and power. Your knowledge is a power in its own right and that draws him in even more."
She studied him with a slight tilt to her head. "Are you talking about Riddle or yourself?"
His eyes were hard and unrelenting as they stared back at hers. "He craved you the most," he said in a low voice that made her shiver. "You were all he would talk about. His example. He would constantly use your power and your knowledge to remind the Purebloods why we need to rid the world of Muggle-borns. That it isn't right for you to possess those traits with no proper lineage."
Hermione swallowed and reached up to twist strands of hair around her fingers.
"When he learned of your escape from the Manor he was livid. Aunt Bella was always his favorite, but you couldn't tell from the punishments he doled out to her. When she told him of how she carved Mudblood into your arm, he nearly Avada'd her."
Hermione blinked as her thoughts began to swirl.
"I see the same hungry look in his eyes whenever he looks at you now that I saw when he spoke of you then."
"He remembered," she whispered, scrambling to her feet.
"What?"
She began to pace as Malfoy got to his feet. She shook her head as her thoughts formulated. "Maybe we were always supposed to come here? Maybe Voldemort as you knew him remembers us from our time here?"
"How would that be possible?"
The answer was there, on the tip of her tongue, but eluded her each time her lips parted to say it. She shook her head in frustration. "It'll come to me."
He nodded and they let the silence wash over them. After a moment, he broke the spell. "We didn't bring our bags."
"We can research more tomorrow," she said and then smiled. "Maybe we can practice Occlumency? He's already tried to use it so we shouldn't wait much longer."
He nodded and scooted a little closer to sit cross legged in front of her; their knees brushing slightly. "What did Potter teach you?"
She thought about the lessons and shook her head. "Not much. He said Snape described it as putting up walls. That's what I did earlier, but I burnt out too quickly."
"Snape was teaching Potter?"
"Dumbledore's orders. Voldemort was using his connection with Harry to get information from the Order. Harry was too stubborn to take direction from Snape."
Malfoy took all the information, but his eyes remained glossed over. "We'll come back to that," he said and put his hands his knees. "The first lesson will be an exercise. Potter had the right idea with walls, but those are the hardest to form. The best way to protect yourself is to compartmentalize. Break all of your memories down into categories and file them away like a library. That way, when someone does come in, you can direct them to a specific memory, or simply lock the door."
She let that sink in for a moment and then nodded. "Books. I can handle that."
"May I show you?"
"Yes."
He took a deep breath and she did the same. "Think of a memory. Anything big or small. Something you're okay sharing with me." He thought for a moment. "Preferably nothing with Weasley."
She smiled at his request and let her mind wander.
"Close your eyes."
Her lashes dusted her cheeks and a memory floated to the surface of her mind. She was in the tent. She was huddled on the steps, staring at the lantern. The locket around her neck was drowning her in misery.
Harry was there with a hand stretched out to her. She looked up at him and hesitated. He curled his fingers, beckoning her up. She placed her hand in his and let him pull her to her feet. He reached for the chain around her neck and lifted the locket.
She let out a breath of air as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulder. It didn't fill the void of Ron's abandonment, but the dark magic's absence made it sting just a tiny bit less. He put the locket around his own neck and took her hands in his.
Harry was moving backwards, pulling her forward. He stopped in the middle of the tent and she heard the music from the radio. The song filled the air around them and Harry began to move. She stared at him as she resisted, but he smiled at her. He refused to stop and she caved.
Despite herself, she smiled. She focused on the song, on the way Harry spun her clumsily around the tent. She remembered the foreign feeling of laughter bubbling past her lips. For a few moments, they weren't on the run. They weren't alone in a tent searching for pieces of a madman's soul. Ron hadn't abandoned them. He was just outside, taking his turn on watch duty.
The music stopped and she found herself wrapped up in Harry's arms. The reality came back and it was hard to breath. She pulled away and when she looked at Harry, her sorrow had returned. Without a word, she pulled away from him and stepped towards her cot.
As she sat down, she found herself alone in an empty room. There was a book in her hands; one that was open. The page displayed her dance with Harry on a loop. All she could do was sit there and stare at it.
Close it.
She looked around for the voice, but she was alone. Slowly, she closed the book with both hands and got to her feet. A shelf appeared before her.
Shelve it.
She moved forward until she was within reach. Her hand reached up and she placed the book on the shelf. Her fingers lingered on the spine of the book for a moment before it let go and slowly returned to her side. She drew in a shaky breath and closed her eyes.
When she opened them, she was sitting in the library across from Malfoy. She was breathing slightly harder than normal and so was he. "That's it?" she asked, breaking the moment.
"More or less. Once the books are on the shelves, they stay on the shelf until you consciously make the effort to think about that particular memory. The more organized your mind, the better you'll be. The worse the memory, the harder it will be to contain, but-"
"I get the idea," she said with a nod. "Thank you, Malfoy."
He nodded, but continued to stare at her. She could see the questions in his eyes.
"What?"
"Are you sure there wasn't any truth to Rita Skeeter's claims in Fourth Year about you and Potter?"
Just the mention of Skeeter made Hermione's blood boil. "No. Harry and I have been nothing but friends."
His brows shot up. "I'm not sure who believes that less. You or me."
She rolled her eyes and pushed herself up from the floor. "Believe what you want. He was just trying to cheer me up."
"What was that necklace you were wearing?"
"Dark magic."
"Was it a Horcrux?" he asked, voice low. She remembered having mentioned the word to him the day they met Riddle and he had sounded somewhat familiar with the word then.
"We were hunting them. We found that one, but we didn't have a way to destroy it." She stopped and placed her hand over her chest. Even now, she could still feel the weight of it pressing down on her. "The darkness would seep out into us if we wore it for too long so we took turns." Her eyes flickered over to his and she canted her head to the side. "Do you know what they are?"
"No, but I overheard him say the word once and then you said it."
She looked around the room. "I don't want to talk about it here. I will tell you, just not inside the castle."
He nodded in understanding and clasped his hands behind his back as they stood before one another awkwardly. "Should we just go back to the dorms?"
"I'd like to keep practicing," she said, plucking at her robes with nervous fingers. "Can you show me one more time?"
He hesitated, but then acquiesced with a nod of his head. She grabbed two books off the nearest shelf and transfigured two chairs. Once they were settled, she closed her eyes and conjured up the next memory.