A Grim Surprise

Sometime after leaving the rooftop, Batman and Co. drove/flew down towards the far coast of the city; where a lone island lay solitary out in the water. During the journey, the team was brought up to speed on the nature of their destination. "Originally, the asylum was meant to house and (hopefully) rehabilitate the criminally insane" Batman explained, "but since the days it was first built, the building's types of residents swiftly became more...diverse."

Without missing a beat, Raven helped "finish his story" by pointing out how the more "diverse" members of the inmates included some of his and Robin's enemies. "Why send such vile clorbags to this place" questioned Starfire, "on my planet, all those who were considered...psychologically unfit were either banished or put to death." The Titans couldn't help but shudder at this revelation, while also inwardly commenting on how Tamaranean culture seemed rather barbaric.

"Things are different here, Princess" Batman said bluntly, "regardless of how cruel the patients might be; Amadeus Arkham, the facility's creator, believed they could be saved." No sooner had he said this; the Caped Crusader soon realized that Amadeus didn't count on inmates who were psychotic murderers, mutants or people with multiple personality disorders. Were he alive today, Batman believed the man would be shocked by how much things had changed.

"If your villains are as bad as you say, Batman; then...I don't think this Arkham place is doin' its job" Cyborg said matter-of-factly, "I'm surprised the place is still open now." A split-second after he said this, Batman informed Cyborg that they have now reached their destination; Arkham Asylum. Much to everyone's (except Batman's) surprise, the building appeared partially torn down and abandoned.

Upon taking a good look at it, the Titans couldn't help but shiver at the sight of the building. In the dark of the night, it looked like it was left to rot; like a corpse that had been partially eaten by scavengers. "Wait...y'all don't think Joker's actually here, do ya" questioned Cyborg, "only a nut would come to this kind of a place."

Batman couldn't help but give a light yet ironic chuckle at the half-robot's comment, before reminding everyone just how "nutty" the Joker truly was. "But...it still doesn't make sense" Starfire murmured fearfully, "if Joker truly is behind Garfield's capture, what intentions does he have with him?" Rather than wait for an answer, Elasti-Girl formed a massive fist with her powers and slammed it against the door; knocking it off its hinges.

For a moment; no one had spoken a word, due to the shock they've felt over seeing Miss Farr's actions. When she took notice of this, Rita dismissed their looks of shock and/or disapproval and entered the building. "You can scold me on making too much noise all you want, everybody" she said firmly, "but every moment we waste time is another moment Joker is tormenting my Garfield!"

At first, everyone truly was close to calling out Elasti-Girl on her actions. But then, they realized two things; that the Joker might've already known they were coming...and that it would be very unwise to get in the way of a raging mother figure. "Let's just go in" grunted Robotman, "I'm just as anxious to find this clown as Rita is!"

With that said, everyone climbed out of their vehicles and rushed into the main hall of the asylum; which was a vast and incredibly creepy room. Up ahead, they could see a pair of statues; one of which appeared to be a middle-aged and rather disheveled man. "This is a statue of Amadeus himself" explained Batman, "the one beside him is that of Quincy Sharp, former warden of the asylum.

He then went on to say that long ago, the city agreed to have all inmates be transported to a newer and hopefully more secure location. "Sharp left his position of warden, before that; confessing the position proved...too dangerous for him." Raven rolled her eyes slightly and felt that the man should've thought that earlier, before he signed up.

"If I recall correctly; at one point, didn't he try to run for mayor" questioned Caulder, "from what I've heard, he didn't stay in office for very long." Batman nodded and explained how just like at the asylum; during his time as mayor, he had one too many hostage experiences...with him being the hostage. "Where he's gone now, no one knows" Robin stated, "but not a lot of people felt bad about seeing him go, Joker among them."

After that, all three teams decided to split up and search every area of the building. "Maintain radio contact at all times" instructed Batman, "if you find any sign of Beast Boy, signal us." Everyone nodded in understanding and went off on their separate ways; determined to find their friend at any cost.

(Back to Reality)

At this point in the story, the Titans decided to take a quick pause and sip on their drinks. As Raven eased her cup towards her lips, Gordon soon noticed that her hands were trembling; which probably meant that something was on her mind. "Look, dear...if you don't want to keep going, it's okay" the commissioner whispered sympathetically, "I can already tell what's probably coming next."

Though she still appreciated the man's kindness, Raven had never liked the idea of appearing helpless in the eyes of others. But at the same time, Gordon was right; their story was moments away from reaching one of the two points she hated about it. In that moment, she was mentally debating with herself on whether she and the team should keep talking...or if they should just end it there.

Then, at that moment, she felt not one but three pairs of hands lightly patting on her back. Raven looked over her shoulder slightly and saw the other Titans gazing at her with sorrowful expressions. After ten seconds of silence, Cyborg decided to speak first.

"We know it hurts, Rave" he murmured, "but...but we gotta tell the commissioner the rest." Robin and Starfire murmured the same thing to Raven, all while trying to fight back tears in their eyes. It was then that she realized there was no point in holding back now.

After taking one more sip of her hot chocolate and chanting her famous mantra of "Azarath Metrion Zinthos" a few times, Raven was finally ready to continue. "For what felt like hours, we searched every corner of the building" she stated, "but all we could find were empty cells, broken hospital equipment and dry blood stains on some of the floors and walls." Upon hearing about the stains, Gordon asked if any of them feared it might've been Beast Boy's own.

"Thankfully, it wasn't" Batman replied, "using the scanner in my cowl, I saw that the stains were over a year or so old; which couldn't have been his." He then added how Starfire was the very first to almost jump to this conclusion. But this was simply because she had never ventured within the asylum before.

"Regardless; for quite some time, we didn't find any sign of Gar anywhere" murmured Negative Man, "and then...we heard it." Almost immediately, Gordon stopped writing down into his notepad; obviously taken off-guard by the sudden mention of "it." "What did you hear" he asked with a slightly eager tone, "was it someone screaming?"

Right away, both Batman and the Titans shook their heads "no" in response; which caused Gordon to sigh softly with relief. "Nope, strange as it seemed...it was someone singing" explained Cyborg, "it was comin' from somewhere within the medical wing of the building."

(Back to the Story)

Upon regrouping in an old hallway; Batman, the Titans and the Doom Patrol suddenly heard a faint voice singing from far away. At first, everyone thought it was simply the P.A. system on the fritz. But then, after listening more closely; the heroes realized that it was someone singing "Hush Little Baby" somewhere down the hall.

Without any further delay, everyone hurried down the hall; all while following the sounds of the singing. Farther and farther down they went until, at last; they reached a room that read Operating Theater. "What is this place" questioned Starfire, "do they allow prisoners to view the movies here?"

Robin shook his head slightly and explained, in the best way he could, that this particular theater was used for surgeries. "It's called a theater because all doctors in training would watch the procedure in the seats upstairs" Cyborg added, "it's weird, we know...but it's a real thing." While Starfire did agree that the nature of the room was odd, she had a more pressing concern; who was in there now?

"We will split up both ways" Batman instructed, "Starfire, you and Raven go with Cyborg and observe from above while the rest of us will go through here." The two ladies nodded in understanding and flew up the steps with Cyborg following behind them. This left Batman, the Doom Patrol and Robin to enter through the main entrance.

"Tread carefully" Robin whispered, "Joker is very crafty, we don't know if he has any traps in store for us inside." Everyone nodded in understanding and pushed open the doors. What they found inside was a rather...surprising sight.

Instead of finding the room filled with old medical equipment, it was remodeled to resemble a household kitchen and den. On this stage was a woman setting a potted plant atop of a small kitchen table. She was dressed in a red and black jester's outfit with a white collar, a jester hat, white facepaint with a sort of black paint around her eyes that resembled a mask and black lipstick.

Eventually, she spotted the heroes ahead of her and giggled with joy. "Oh, Puddin', come downstairs" she called out sweetly, "we've got company!" All eyes craned upward at the second level of the stage; where a fake 60's-style TV set, standing lamp and a lounge chair could be found.

In this chair, sitting comfortably with a pipe between his lips was the Clown Prince of Crime himself; The Joker. He looked as though he was casually reading the newspaper, which he knew would drive the heroes utterly nuts with confusion. When Joker looked down and spotted his "guests", he smiled at them with his trademark grin and waved hello.

"Welcome to our happy little home, everybody" he said casually, "you should've called and told me you'd be coming, Bats...I would've baked one of my famous pies." Not wanting to waste time beating around the bush, Raven and the Doom Patrol angrily approached Joker and said only four simple words; "where...is...Beast Boy?!" Not long after that, Joker gave them a sort of disgusted look; as if the heroes offended him, somehow.

"That is just rude" he grumbled, "no hello, no hearty handshakes...you didn't even bother to greet Harley here." At first, Starfire and the Doom Patrol simply stared in confusion; wondering who "Harley" was. That was when Dr. Caulder directed his gaze at the jester and gasped.

"Harleen...Harleen Quinzel" he cried in shock, "how can this be, one of the most brilliant psychiatric minds in the world is working alongside this...crook?!" Upon hearing the man's insults, "Harley" kicked Caulder in the leg; causing his wheelchair to almost tip over backwards. But before he fell over completely, Robotman quickly caught the chair and brought it back upright.

"Nobody talks about Mistuh J like that around me" Harley seethed, "especially not some damn bearded cripple!" The rest of the Doom Patrol glared at her angrily and were prepared to gang up on her. But then, Batman held up his arm slightly and demanded they held back.

"We're not here for your games, Joker" he growled, "tell us where Beast Boy is...now!" Much to everyone's annoyance, the criminal couple stared at the heroes with looks of mock confusion and claimed they had no idea who they were talking about. "The only beasts we've got are Bud and Lou, my widdle babies" Harley cooed softly, "and they're takin a nap right now."

When the other three Titans asked who "Bud and Lou" were, Robin pointed towards the opposite side of the room; where a pair of large hyenas was found slumbering. "Those are her 'babies'" Cyborg screamed mentally, "and here I thought kids having Constrictors for pets was a weird trend!" Meanwhile; Starfire, for a brief moment, found herself lowering her guard slightly at the sight of the animals.

"Oh, they are quite adorable" she said adorably, "but...I imagine they aren't quite as pleasant as puppies are." Suddenly, with great fury burning in her heart; Elasti-Girl cracked her knuckles and stomped over towards Joker. "Where...is...Garfield" she demanded, "we know you have him here, so...BRING HIM OUT!"

Once more, the couple acted like the "innocently stupid" types and proclaimed they didn't know of anyone named Garfield. "The only one I heard of is a fat, lazy, orange cat that loves lasagna" Joker stated, "really funny stuff, his comics." Infuriated by their games, Elasti-Girl came dangerously close to wanting to "go big" and stomp them beneath her heels.

But then, after tapping her forehead in thought for sometime; Harley let out a gasp and said she had a "hunch" on who they might've been looking for. "They must be talkin' about Lil' J, Puddin'" she stated, "do you want to show them the surprise or should I do it?" The whole time this was going on, the heroes were becoming more and more frustrated with their antics.

Then, up in the second level; Raven suddenly felt a jolt spike through her, causing her to gasp softly. Cyborg and Star immediately took notice of this and asked what was wrong. "It...It's faint but I think I sense a life sign around here, somewhere" Raven murmured, "it could be Beast Boy."

Upon hearing this news; Cyborg reported this to Robin and the others below. With this small discovery; the Titans, Doom Patrol and even Batman felt something inside of them that they hadn't felt in weeks...hope. "Forget about these two clowns right now" Robotman declared, "search every inch of this place, we ain't leavin' without the squirt!"

With that command, everyone began to furiously search the room; while Cyborg and the girls remained on watch up above. Meanwhile, Joker and Harley simply stood back and watched the scene unfold with smiles on their faces. "Oh, this is almost as fun as watching an Easter Egg Hunt" gushed Harley, "except...our eggs explode."

After almost five minutes of searching, not one of them found any signs of Beast Boy. But then, Batman and Robin spotted a curtain covering a gaping hole in the wall. "That must be where they're keeping him" whispered the Boy Wonder, "hang on, I'm coming to get you."

With this thought in mind, he made a sudden beeline for the curtain with Batman following close behind. But just as the duo was mere inches away from reaching the spot, a shot was fired and they were suddenly tangled up in large strands of red ribbon. It was then that the Doom Patrol and the remaining Titans spotted Harley, who was holding a massive bazooka over her shoulder.

After placing what she called "Mama's Lil' Helper" onto the table, she glared softly at all the heroes and gave them the "shaming" hand gesture. "No peeking until it's time for the reveal, everybody" Harley said scoldingly, "Lil' J's still sleeping." Pleased with his partner's protective nature, Joker gave Harley a sweet grin and kissed her cheek.

Then, he looked over at Batman with a sort of sullen expression; like someone who had a long day at work and was way passed the point of exhaustion. "This all seems familiar; doesn't it, Bats" he asked, "you come into my home, try to discover my plans and then, either me or Harley here traps you."

Right away; the Doom Patrol could Joker was stalling and once more, demanded to see Beast Boy. Not long after, Joker pulled out a rather silly looking gun from his coat and ordered everyone to be patient. "I'm getting to that point, kiddies" he sniggered, "see...like I just said, I've been doing this game with the Dynamic Duo of Dipsticks for years and the fact is...neither of us is getting any younger."

After that, Harley started hopping up and down while waving her hand; begging for Joker to let her tell the next part. "Since we've realized we're gettin' on in years, Mistuh J and me decided was time to...expand our lil' family" she giggled, "you know, have a kid." After this; Harley added that rather than go through the "joy of childbirth," her and Joker decided to adopt.

"Fat chance of that happening, you assholes" Negative Man seethed, "no agency in their right mind would let you have custody of a kid." Despite the overall truth in his words, something in NM's bones told him that Joker and Harley already knew of the issue. "Fortunately for us, we knew a couple of people who had oodles of kids just lying around" Joker stated, "Batsy, Bird Boy...I'm looking at you."

The whole the clown was talking, the Dynamic Duo felt their blood boil and they immediately began their plan to escape. Though their hands were bound together, they still had some tricks up their sleeves (figuratively and literally speaking.) While making certain not to rouse any suspicions, both Batman and Robin's fingers reached into their sleeves and pulled out a switchblade knife.

Once the blades were out, they began cutting away at the ribbons as quickly and carefully as they could. Meanwhile, the time finally came when Joker and Harley decided to reveal their little "surprise." "Since I already knew you were rather protective of your little ones, Bats; we decided to...borrow one of Bird Boy's little friends, during our little vacay to Jump City" Joker explained, "so, we staged a little purse snatching gag to bring one of 'em to us."

After that reveal, Harley graciously bowed to everyone; proclaiming she put on the "greatest performance of her life." "Performance...what are you talking about" seethed Elasti-Girl, "where's Garfield?!" In response to such a rude demand, Joker approached the woman and slapped her hard across the face; all telling her not to interrupt "story time."

"As I was saying...Harley, my crew and I put together a fake purse snatching situation in the alleys" he explained, "and like the green dope he was, your little friend bought it; hook...line and sinker!" After that, everyone demanded how they managed to capture their friend. "It wasn't really that hard" Harley said matter-of-factly, "after he came to help me up, I...'rewarded' his selflessness with a hearty handshake."

After this, she held up her hand and revealed what looked like a simple joy buzzer; which didn't seem all that serious, at first. But then, Cyborg quickly saw small sparks of electricity emanating from it; which meant this truly was a literal shock buzzer. "It looks like your little witch girl friend was right about him all along, Bird Boy" Joker said mockingly, "this kid truly is as dumb as he is green."

Robin glowered viciously at the clown and began cutting away at his binds more quickly now. Meanwhile, the others demanded to know what happened to Beast Boy; after they captured him. "The boy looked a little tired, after the fight" Joker stated, "so...we brought him here for a little rest."

Once Harley took over the story again; she proclaimed that after a little "TLC," Beast Boy was a brand new person. "C'mon, let me show you" Joker said while gripping the curtain, "mind you...he's just waking up from his 'nap;' so, don't be alarmed if he looks a little haggard." After that, he finally drew back the curtain; revealing the inside of the hole in the wall.

Upon first glance, everyone (save for Starfire) realized that it was an old shock therapy room; designed to administer "appropriate disciplinary action" onto any inmates who acted out of line. But what really shocked everyone was that there was a person was lying on the table inside. "What's wrong, everybody; can't see our little boy's sweet smile" Joker asked, "let me...'shed some light on the situation.'"

After saying that, he walked over to a wall and flipped on a large power switch; which in turn, caused the lights in the old therapy room to come on. Once they did, everyone got a good look at who was lying on the table...and felt their stomach's churn. In that moment, each hero felt a different set of thoughts run through their minds.

Batman and Robin: No...

Dr. Caulder: Sweet Jesus

Negative Man: My...God.

Robotman: That son of a...what did he do?

Cyborg: What in the actual, ever-loving what?

Starfire: By X'hall

Raven: No...please, let this be a cruel dream!

For a moment or two, Joker said nothing; he simply stood in place, savoring the heroes' collective displeasure and chuckling softly. Then, the time had finally come for him and Harley to introduce their new "family member." "He needed a little molding, of course" Joker muttered, "but...what kid doesn't these days."

He then pulled out a remote from his suit jacket and pressed a button, which caused the table to suddenly wheel out of the therapy room and over to the stage. "It took a little time and patience to work with him but soon...he became a real chip off the old block" the Joker sniggered, "say hello to our guests, Lil' J." Slowly but surely, the figure on the table started to move.

Then, he rose up slightly into an awkward sitting position...and started to laugh. It wasn't just any laugh either; it was the same young, nearly high-pitched one that only one person they knew could make...Beast Boy. Within moments, he unhooked his restraints and leapt off the bed; revealing his new appearance to everyone.

His hair was slicked back and turned into a greasy green color, he wore a smaller version of the Joker's suit. But what truly shocked everyone was Beast Boy's new facial features. His forest-green skin was now had a pale white tint to it, his eyes were bulging and had the look of madness in them and his face had a twisted smile plastered on it.

The most troubling thing was the fact that over his lips, everyone could see some traces of red; which could've been either paint, lipstick...or perhaps, blood. Beast Boy stood in place in a sort of hunched position, like an animal that was ready to pounce. When he caught sight of the Titans, the poor lad could only cackle madly; which made everyone's blood run cold.

The combination of these things filled the Dynamic Duo with such rage, it gave them just enough strength to break free of their binds. Afterwards, they threw their switchblades at Joker; who simply ducked down slightly and let them tear through the curtain. Afterwards; he cackled loudly, gave the heroes a "come and get me" gesture, hopped on the table and rode away into another room.

Without a moment's hesitation, Batman and Robin immediately gave chase. But they soon noticed the Doom Patrol and Cyborg following alongside them. "What are you all doing" shouted the Boy Wonder, "you need to stay with the girls and help take down Harley!" Rita glared over at Robin and told him that they were coming along, like it or not.

"Besides, Rae and Star can handle anything that bimbo can throw at 'em" Cyborg added, "they've got things handled." Realizing there was no point in arguing, Robin agreed to let them come; on the condition that they'd all keep on their toes. "We've got this, boys" Rita growled, "besides...I wanna make Joker pay for what he did to my boy!"

(Back to Reality)

At this point in the story, everyone decided to take a quick respite; so that Commissioner Gordon could catch up on what he'd been told. Needless to say, the whole thing was sounding too twisted to be true. "I...I'm at a loss here, folks" Gordon murmured, "I don't know what seems scarier, what Joker did to your friend...or Ms. Farr's mental state afterwards."

Batman and the Titans couldn't help but agree with him; though they themselves weren't with the others, Raven and Starfire could already sense that Elasti-Girl was out for blood. "Trust us, Jim...you don't know the half of it" Robin said simply, "but if you think Beast Boy's condition was the worst part, you haven't heard anything yet." After taking a moment to calm his nerves with some cocoa, he explained how his team followed Joker to the old projection room.

"Why would Joker want to lead you in there, of all places" questioned Gordon, "that place was shut down long before the rest of Arkham closed." For a moment or so, no one had answered; which brought the commissioner to realize that they must've seen something terrible there. When everyone had collected their nerves well enough, Robin explained that Joker had another small surprise in store for them; some "home movies."

(First AN: Oh, jeez; something about home movies featuring Joker simply screams bad news, doesn't it? What sort of grim secrets does he have in his films, how will Star and Raven fare against Harley...and will Beast Boy's mind ever be brought back to normal?
Find out next time in Beast Boy's Last Laugh.)

(Second AN: The mentions of Amadeus Arkham, Quincy Sharp being warden and him later becoming mayor are all references to the Arkham video game series from Rocksteady. I figured that even though this is loosely based on Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, I could sprinkle in some elements from the game series as well.)

(Third AN: the traces of red on Beast Boy's smile are in fact, blood; said bleeding happened during all the days he'd been either beaten or tortured by the Joker. Once he noticed this, the clown thought it would be "funny" to trace a little smile on Beast Boy's lips with his blood. This is a light reference to Joaquin Phoenix's portrayal of Joker. I thought it would be a good element to add here, much like with the Arkham Game Series references.)

(Final AN: The word Star says, after seeing Beast Boy's new look is "X'hal;" which is the name of a goddess the people of Tamaran worship. Think of it as her saying her own version of "my, God.")