Chapter Two: The News and the Gossip

Though he never would have admitted it to another soul even under pain of torture, Edgeworth was beginning to feel better since he left his office.

He was still feeling ill when he made his way down to the lobby, told the bland looking receptionist at the front desk to redirect all of his calls to his personal mobile phone and hailed a taxi to take him to the train station because he didn't trust himself driving, but little by little, the headache in his forehead had subsided somewhat.

By the time the train pulled out of the station and was well on its way to Kurain Village, Edgeworth was no longer having such a difficult time drawing in air, nor did he feel like a ten ton load of bricks were piled upon his head.

That relief alone was worth the price of the ticket.

Covering a yawn with the back of his hand, Edgeworth perched his chin in his palm and stared lazily out the window as the train sped down the countryside. He didn't usually spend much time outside the city anymore, in fact he hardly ever left it, but that didn't mean he didn't find a modicum of solace watching the ever changing landscape as the bullet train zipped down the line at 200 miles an hour. While he might not have been one to wax poetically, there was something inherently calming about the untouched pastoral scenery, a far cry from the concrete jungle he stalked daily as the top legal predator.

Yawning again, Edgeworth exhaled slowly and let more of his weight sink against the plush seat of the train's first class car. Though the hum of the train did pulse through the car, the exhausted prosecutor didn't hear anything except the lull of his own steady, if still somewhat labored, breathing and the tiniest cling of a bell jingling from inside his burgundy coat's left breast pocket.

Deep in his coat, Maya's precious talisman sat safely tucked away from harm, but each time the train jostled ever so slightly, the little decorations on the box would make the sound of a tinkle of a bell, just enough to remind him it was interested in being back in the hands of its owner.

That, frankly, was just fine with him.

The sooner Maya had her trinket back, the sooner he could get back to the city, his work, and his headache.

Besides... the sound wasn't annoying or any such thing.

It was actually rather soothing in a way. It was so soothing, if he wasn't careful, it could potentially lull him into a state of semiconsciousness.

Not that that was going to happen, of course.

Edgeworth never needed, nor did he ever take...

... naps.

...

"... sir..."

Someone was talking to him.

He didn't care.

"Sir, can you hear me?"

No. He wasn't taking delivery.

Go away.

"Sir, you need to wake up right now! I have something of the most important nature to tell you and you need to be awake in order to hear it!"

Grrr... someone was getting a pay cut for this.

With all the beauty and grace of a bear denied its hibernation, Edgeworth cracked one bleary eye open and glared at whomever had been stupid enough to disturb his slumber.

He soon found that, unfortunately, it wasn't someone whose salary he could slash.

Standing in front of him was a thoroughly dull, yet enthusiastic, squatty young woman in a blue train uniform waving a white flag at him in an attempt to get his attention. Her flat brown hair was cut in a bowl style, likely from just sticking a bowl on her head and having at it with a pair of sheep sheers, her face was the picture of disinterest from her pug nose to her brown eyes, and there was nothing remarkable about her at all, but in spite of that, she seemed bound and determined to get his attention whether he liked it or not.

"Ah, there you are, sir!" The attendant buoyantly waved the flag back and forth like a baton. "Thank you for waking up! On behalf of the Blue Star train line, we thank you for rejoining the world of the living so that we may announce this important announcement just for you!"

Edgeworth didn't respond. He just glared at her some more.

"Uh..." The attendant paused. "Sir, you are awake, aren't you, sir? Do I need to wake you up again, sir?"

Edgeworth snorted. Apparently, the 'do not disturb' signs attached to the compartment doors meant absolutely nothing on this train line.

"No, there's no need for that malarky again. You have your wish. I'm awake." Grudgingly, irritatedly and utterly unenthused, but awake. "What is it that was so important you felt the need to disturb me despite the sign posted on the door?"

Being sleep deprived was one thing, but to get a taste of sleep only have it yanked away at the last minute were grounds for ruining even the most tailored of moods.

"I just wanted to let you know that Kurain village is coming up." The attendant announced just as the lights above flickered violently on and off."Gah, you stupid lights, work already- Please be ready to depart at a moment's notice, for your stop is coming up and it would not do to miss your intended point of departure!"

Oh.

Making sure he didn't miss his stop was a good enough reason for waking him, he supposed.

Also, they needed to fix the lighting if it was that much of a problem.

"How did you know when my stop was?" Edgeworth looked at his ticket; he hadn't thought it specified where he was going, just when and where he got on.

"It is the duty of every train attendant to memorize the tickets of all their passengers and bring them to a speedy delivery to their destinations!" saluted the attendant. "Simple procedure, sir!"

Edgeworth highly doubted that on both accounts.

"I see. Very well, you have my thanks." Edgeworth reached into his pocket and retrieved an antique pocket watch attached to a silver chain anchored in his black waistcoat's pocket. Hmph. Two hours had gone by and he hadn't even noticed.

He was more tired than he thought.

"You are most welcome, sir!" chirped the attendant. "Do you need any assistance with any luggage, parcels and/or livestock today? For if you do, please direct yourself to the nearest train attendant for help with all things bag-like and fyi, that's me!"

Edgeworth stared at her incredulously. This was the first class carriage. Who in their right mind would be smuggling livestock in here at all, let alone to the point they would need to rope the train attendant in as an accomplice to extract it?!

"No, thank you. I am fine handling the situation on my own." Edgeworth rubbed the last few remnants of sleep from his eye and stood. "You've done enough by alerting me. That will be all."

Hopefully she would take the not so subtle hint that this was the time to go away and leave him to his own devices.

"Are you sure you don't need my help?"

"Yes." Edgeworth replied in a clipped tone, reaching for his briefcase and removing it from the top rack.

"Oh. Okay then."

Oh, thank god. She got it.

"Then I will simply provide decent, yet cordial conversation until the train has stopped in order to pass the time before you depart!"

No... no, she didn't.

"That's not necessary-"

"Sir!" The attendant's eyes sparkled with obtuse tenacity the likes of which he had only ever seen glint in Larry's face whenever a female was concerned. "It is the duty of every attendant to make sure that their passengers are attended to in every stage of their trip and if I were to make even the slightest infraction of conduct, that would be a slap in the face for all attendants everywhere! That being the case, I must continue the conversation so you do not feel at any stage of your trip neglected. So, have you ever been to Kurain Village before, sir? I don't think I've ever seen you before and I make a special point of knowing everyone and everything on this line." The attendant leaned against the side of the sliding door, completely blocking his only means of escape.

Edgeworth spared her a calculating glance out of the corner of his eye, though he remained silent. The more he looked at the situation, the more it was clear to him she wasn't going to go away, even after he all but threw her out of the compartment.

It seemed he was, for the most part, stuck.

"Yes, I have been there before." He finally replied with a sigh, though his tone was more curt than a waiter who'd been undertipped.

"Is your trip of a business nature?"

'Yes, and none of yours.' is what he wanted to say, but Edgeworth opted for the politer version and said, "Yes, but it's only for today. I plan to return to the city later tonight."

"Ah, I thought business might be the reason for your trip." perked the attendant. "Getting a session with a medium's the only reason anybody ever goes to Kurain Village these days. Even though it's a cute little place, the village is almost empty. In Kurain, either you're a spirit medium, or you leave. Not much for men to do since only women can inherit the gift of channeling, and if the women don't have it, they leave too."

Yes, if he remembered correctly, he vaguely recalled being told that once, though the details of the instance were muddled.

"And it doesn't help their reputation went through the mud a ways back because of a murder case gone whackadoo."

That instance, however, was most decidedly NOT muddled.

"... you don't say."

"Mmhm, it was all over the news ages ago." This attendant had no sense of subtlety. "However since the new master took over, the village's popularity hit a new high. People come from all over to get a reading. So is that why you're going, to meet with a medium?"

"Something along those lines." said Edgeworth.

"Oho, that's exciting, isn't it, getting to meet with a medium for a channeling session?" continued the overly chatty attendant who obviously never cornered the passengers long enough to talk this much. "I've never seen the channeling myself, but then again, I don't need to go around talking to dead people either, so what do I know? Everyone who sees it swears it's the real deal, though. My brother's girlfriend's uncle's neighbor's florist went to get a reading done and by the time she was finished, she was convinced she finally got to say goodbye to her mother- Hey, maybe if you're lucky, the master herself will be the one doing the channeling. That's what everyone hopes for when they go."

"Why's that?" asked Edgeworth. "If it's done properly, isn't the result the same regardless of who conducts the session?"

"That's not what keeps the customers coming back." The attendant grinned broadly. "Y'see, the mediums in the village might be the real deal, but the big draw for people to go there on business is the master herself."

"How so?" A silver eyebrow arched above his glasses.

"Well... according to the scuttlebutt around the trains, the master of the channeling technique is, no pun intended, drop dead gorgeous." The attendant made an outline of a curvaceous woman with her hands for emphasis. "A stone cold knockout. People expect wrinkly old ladies and spinsters with saggy skin when the phrase 'spirit medium' gets brought up, but thanks to the New Year's issue of 'Oh!Cult!' magazine that featured an article about the master returning to the village from her training in a far off land, the demand to get a session scheduled skyrocketed. Actually, I think I have one on me somewhere in here- hang on." The attendant fished into the bag at her hip and after a moment of digging, retrieved a rolled up magazine.

"Here, you can have this one."

She handed him the magazine and Edgeworth unrolled it to find a picture of Maya, obviously taken by a paparazzi, plastered to the front cover, though it wasn't by any means an unflattering photo.

"And this is a fairly old issue, you said?" Edgeworth appraised the magazine carefully.

"Yeah. Normally I charge for those, but since you're new to the line, I'll make an exception this once. Think of it as a new customer perk."

"Thank you." Edgeworth placed it carefully into his leather briefcase. He'd read it later when he had time. "So the master is popular, then. I had no idea."

Though he believed it, picturing Maya being in professional demand was rather difficult for him to muster. It went against everything he knew about her.

"Oh yes! She's especially popular with the older businessmen trying to get advice from their dead bosses and stuff." nodded the attendant. "One of the businessmen said it was worth every last dime he had just to get her to channel his old lady long enough to ask her where she had put his keys before her heart attack."

"Why would he do that?" Edgeworth folded his arms over his chest. "That sounds like a colossal waste of money."

"I think he was more interested in talking with the master than the channelling, actually." said the attendant. "He said something about that, oh, what was it... Oh! I remember. He said the master 'wasn't a big gal, but she was big in all the right places, so it was worth the price of admission any day'."

A pang of hot indignation stabbed Edgeworth right in the chest.

So even in this day and age, the common masses were far more interested in their own carnal pursuits rather than the merit of an individual's dedication, hard work or skill.

How distastefully licentious.

"Hmph. It doesn't matter to me what someone looks like so long as they are competent and efficient at their chosen profession." Edgeworth said coldly and turned to the window. "I don't particularly care who I see, as long they get the job done."

The fact he was only delivering a parcel was not the point.

"... oh." The attendant seemed a tad taken aback by the abrupt sternness of his manner. "Er... okay. Huh. Maybe I was trying to sell a cat to a man who prefers dogs..."

"Pardon?" Edgeworth glanced icily over his shoulder.

"Er, nothing, sir!"

"Nngh." Edgeworth's headache was threatening to come back any minute now, he could feel it- had she really thought he hadn't heard her? "How long until the train reaches the station?"

"Let's take a little ol' looksee at the handy dandy watch and find out!" The attendant pulled out her own pocket watch. "I believe we have about ten minutes until the train arrives. Also, if you have any more questions, please direct them towards the nearest train attendant, which in this case is me, Milly Time!"

That turned out to be the longest ten minutes of his life.

By the time the train pulled into the station, Edgeworth crossed the threshold as fast as he could manage while still maintaining his dignity, though none probably would have blamed him for bolting had they known he had just been subjected to a lecture on the finer points of window maintenance.

Edgeworth could understand dedication to one's profession, but there was eagerness, there was zeal, there was fanaticism, and then there was... whatever that was.

"It looks like I lost her." Edgeworth breathed in relief as he briskly stepped onto the platform, barely missing a shabby looking young man that dodged in front of him, and looked out onto the sea of other passengers departing the train. As much as he was loathe to admit it, Milly did seem to have known what she was talking about in regards to the passengers. The majority of people getting off the train at Kurain Village were either women of all ages, or business looking men muttering to each other about their appointments.

He was relatively alone in his own demographic.

"Alright, I'm here. Now what?" Edgeworth narrowed his eyes behind his glasses and searched for a sign to get his bearings. Unfortunately, even as the crowds dispersed, he didn't see anything remotely of use to guide him in the direction of Fey Manor...

... that was, until he spotted a familiar looking young lady with two rings of brown hair perched on top of her head in an acolyte's uniform wandering about the train platform, turning her head from side to side in search of something and chewing on her thumbnail.

"Pearl?" Edgeworth said aloud in shock before he realized it.

"Huh?!" The young medium almost jumped out of her skin and wheeled around on the spot, only to inhale sharply into her outstretched hand. "Mr. Edgeworth?! What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Edgeworth approached Pearl and made a mild gesture towards the platform. "Is there a reason you are standing around the train station looking lost?"

From what Wright told him, Pearl had an excellent sense of direction and was quite capable of getting herself around with little difficulty, so it was odd fathoming that she was wandering vaguely all about.

"Oh, I'm not lost. Mystic Maya asked me to go to the train station to meet a friend of hers- wait, did... did she mean you?!" gasped Pearl. "Are you the person she was expecting?"

"She didn't specify?" Edgeworth's eyebrow arched.

"She didn't get a chance." Pearl smiled weakly. "Mystic Maya was ushered into the channeling chamber before she could tell me who was coming to visit her today and then she has to prepare for the meeting at three o'clock with the Synod of Elders, so I kinda came here not knowing what or who to expect. However, I'm not cross or anything. I'm happy I can help. She's been under a lot of pressure lately, so if there's anything I can do to help Mystic Maya, I'll do it."

"I see. Then to answer your question, yes, I am whom she is expecting." replied Edgeworth, though not without a small bit of amusement at her stupefied expression. "I came at the behest of Miss Fey. She specifically requested my presence, though I cannot stay long."

Lord that was an understatement if he'd ever made one.

"Hang on, if you're here, that must mean Mr. Nick is with you too, isn't he?" Pearl practically glowed with excitement. "Oh, that's wonderful! Do you know where he is? I need to speak with him right away."

The lines in Edgeworth's forehead deepened and he readjusted his glasses that were sliding down his nose. He didn't particularly take much joy in ruining Pearl's aspirations, but she was going to find out soon enough. Best just to tell her and get it over with.

"Actually, in this one rare instance, Wright doesn't have any reason to do with my being here. I came by myself."

Like he suspected, Pearl's smile vanished and her little bagel-like hairstyle drooped.

"I know. I don't believe it myself." Edgeworth shook his head and readjusted his glasses again; they just wouldn't stay up. "Be that as it may, it's still the truth. I am, for all sakes and purposes, alone."

"You... you came by yourself?" She repeated. "Why?"

"The nature of my visit is a matter of... delicacy." Edgeworth chose his words carefully; Maya had been most adamant on keeping her missing talisman a secret, but he saw no merit in lying to Pearl either. "I am afraid I cannot disclose the details to you without Miss Fey's express permission."

"O-oh. Well..." Pearl bit down on the nail of her thumb again. "If it's that serious a matter to Mystic Maya, Mr. Edgeworth, I won't pry. I'm sure she has her reasons for keeping something quiet."

Edgeworth found himself approving of Pearl's natural discretion. Though she had a penchant for flights of fancy according to Wright, who, upon further pressing, wouldn't elaborate, she was truly devoted to her cousin and he could not fault her for that.

"A-anyway, if you're ready, let's head to the manor so you can speak with Mystic Maya properly." smiled Pearl. "We shouldn't keep her waiting. Please, this way." She beckoned him to follow and trotted off at a brisk pace and Edgeworth followed silently behind her, grateful for the reprieve in conversation.

He'd been all Milly'ed out.

However, as the pair traipsed through Kurain Village, Edgeworth couldn't help noticing just how glum Pearl was acting. Normally she was the picture of cheerfulness, but not today; she instead kept a steady gaze on her sandals and remained morose as they journeyed along. He figured she was probably simply disappointed that Wright hadn't come along. If memory served aptly, the young acolyte was particularly fond of him and was always happy to tag along with him on his escapades.

In fact, that's how Edgeworth was introduced to her, during one of Wright's trials.

Then again, Pearl usually kept a decent reign on her emotions. The only times she really lost it was when she was worried about her cousin-

"Mr. Edgeworth, may I... ask you something?" Pearl suddenly stopped, but she didn't turn around. "Please? It's important."

Edgeworth ceased his stride as well.

"If it's such a matter of importance that you would wish to ask me, then by all means, continue."

"O-okay..." Pearl took a deep breath and steadied herself. "What is your relationship to Mystic Maya?"

Edgeworth blinked in astonishment. What brought this on all of a sudden?

"I think... our relationship would be classified as 'friends'."

It was a good thing he and Maya had clarified that earlier that morning or else he wouldn't have known what to say.

"I see. And, as her friend, you would want to help Mystic Maya if she were in trouble because that's what friends do, right?"

"Of course."

Hadn't he already proved that when he pretended to be a defense attorney when Wright was in the hospital for falling off a bridge? She was there for that, wasn't she? He couldn't remember clearly.

"Well... alright. If that's how you view Mystic Maya, then you're who I need to talk to." Pearl yanked up one of her sleeves like she was attempting to look tough. "I need your help. Something's wrong with Mystic Maya."

Edgeworth's eyebrows shot upwards.

"What do you mean?"

"Something's wrong with Mystic Maya. She's been acting strangely lately and I think something's really wrong." said Pearl. "I'm sorry for asking you, I would have asked Mr. Nick instead, but he's not here and I don't have anyone else to turn to right now and you're right here in the village and everything, so-"

Edgeworth sighed. What was this, 'National Plead at a Prosecutor for Help' day in Kurain Village? Still, he nodded once in agreement.

"You will?" Pearl's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes. I don't know how much help I can be in a matter such as this, but I will assist in any way I can and offer insight when appropriate." said Edgeworth. "That may be limited given my skill set, but yes, I will help you."

"Thank you so much!" Pearl beamed at him gratefully.

"Yes, well... why don't you start from the beginning and tell me the facts of the matter?" Edgeworth suggested, folding his arms across his chest. "Also, make sure to keep it to just the facts. Sophistry and speculation without evidence are useless in piecing together a proper case."

"Really?" blinked Pearl. "But speculation and guesswork are the only tools Mr. Nick uses when he puts together a case."

"Don't remind me." Edgeworth shuddered at Wright's lack of organization. "Back to the matter at hand, when did this first start? When did you notice the change in Miss Fey's demeanor?"

"Well..." Pearl directed them both to a bench under the glass rain shield next to the bus stop. "It was about two weeks ago, right after the first summons Mystic Maya got from the Synod of Elders."

"The first summons?" repeated Edgeworth as he carefully sat next to Pearl on the bench. "I thought today was the first time she was summoned to go before them."

"No, today's the second time." said Pearl. "The first time, Mystic Maya was so excited to show them all what she'd learned, she even practiced her Synod speech in the mirror when she thought nobody was looking to make sure she had it down right."

"Miss Fey seems to have grown considerably during her extensive training in Khura'in." noted Edgeworth.

"She's blossoming into a proper leader. Anyway, the meeting went well according to the people who attended it, and Mystic Maya did an amazing job at performing her newfound abilities, but right afterwards, one of the members of the council pulled her aside for a one-on-one meeting and when she came back out, Mystic Maya looked like she'd seen a ghost."

"Isn't that an occupational hazard in your line of work?"

"No, I mean, she looked like she stared into the face of death itself." said Pearl. "I was waiting for her outside the council member's chambers and I saw her face when she came back out. She looked miserable. I've never seen her so sad in my life."

"Miserable?" Edgeworth frowned; that didn't sound like Maya at all. "How so?"

"Like she had just seen someone she cared about killed right in front of her." Pearl started chewing on her nail again. "Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but ever since she met with that council member, Mystic Maya's changed. She used to joke and laugh very easily, but lately she's been really serious and focused on her work and whenever she does laugh, it's always strained, like she's trying to stop herself from crying and laughing's the only way to keep it at bay. She's been distant, she's not getting any sleep, she's been up at all hours of the night, pushing herself in her training too hard to the point she's gotten sick, muttering to herself all the time and she's not even eating. I'm really worried."

Edgeworth could scarcely believe what he was hearing. Maya, the bottomless stomach of legend, wasn't eating? Drawing from his past experiences, he couldn't think of one solitary instance Maya had turned down a meal.

"I can see why you became so concerned." agreed Edgeworth, his brows furrowing deep against his eyes and his mouth set into a thin line. "Did you confront her about the issue?"

"I asked her what was wrong, but all she did was smile and told me everything was going to be alright, but I know that's not true. She's beside herself worried about something, I can tell."

"Do you have any idea what this might be?"

"No. I don't." Pearl fiddled with her hands. "I didn't think Mystic Maya would keep secrets like this from me, but with all that's happened, I... I'm not sure."

Edgeworth sat on the bench with his chin perched in his hand, processing all of what the little medium told him at large. From what he could extrapolate from the testimony, something was deeply disturbing Maya and causing her great distress, which was not acceptable. Something during that private meeting with the Synod Elder must've affected her so greatly, she became desperate enough to seek Edgeworth out for help in the middle of the night and not care to what lengths she took to find him.

On a lesser note, however, he now understood why she didn't want to stand in front of the Synod alone, and more importantly, why she didn't turn to Wright for lawyerly council.

While he might've been a decent attorney, Phoenix Wright was not an intimidating presence against a pack of old ladies.

Edgeworth, on the other hand, had fended off Wendy Oldbag for years.

Still, the main piece of the puzzle remained a mystery.

What could possibly be so horrible, so desperately upsetting, that would cause her to act so oddly and moreover, why wouldn't she tell anyone?

"Did you check with that little stone thing Wright uses?" Edgeworth finally suggested. "That strange stone that looks like a nine. Did you check for 'psycho-locks' to see what she's hiding?"

"The magatama?" Pearl seemed surprised he knew about those. "When I first asked her, I didn't have a charged one with me. Then when I tried to ask her again while hiding one in my pocket, she brushed me off and ran for it before I even got the question out all the way."

Edgeworth smirked. So Maya was even actively avoiding detection with the magatamas, not because she'd confess under pressure, but because she knew she would be discovered having a secret in the first place, and that in and of itself would be enough to attract suspicion of her cousin.

Clever girl.

However, none of this sat well with him at all.

Not only had Maya lied to him about the meeting today being her first time in front of the Synod of Elders, she was keeping a deep secret from her most devoted cousin, lying about eating too many pancakes to cover up her ill complexion, lying about her tired appearance at his office, lying about why she needed him to accompany her to the village, lying about her outburst in his office by claiming it was to spare Wright; What else had she lied about? What was the point? Why waste the energy concocting a story?

... actually, the more he thought about it, the more Edgeworth started to piece together a plausible theory.

Now, Edgeworth knew liars. It was practically his job to know liars, and expose them just for what they were: lying liars who lie.

He also knew Maya Fey.

Maya Fey was not a pathological liar.

She didn't lie for the thrill of it, nor out of boredom, nor to get herself out of trouble. In general, she was an honest person who made a habit of being a little too honest for Wright at times, though Edgeworth personally found it refreshing.

No, the only times he ever witnessed her lie was when she was attempting to spare her cousin's feelings any harm, or when she was attempting to cover for someone else, like when she had during the trial of Iris of Hazakura Temple.

If Maya Fey lied, she must've had a very good reason for doing so, or at least she thought so.

Therefore, she wasn't lying for her own benefit.

But for whose benefit was she lying?

"Pearl..." Edgeworth turned his attention to Pearl, whose own was still locked on her feet. "Perhaps it would be wise to resume our trek to the Manor. I would like to have a word with Miss Fey. I need to clear a few things up before I continue my investigation."

"Okay." Pearl got up from the bench and for the first time in the better part of a half hour, smiled at him and bowed low. "But before that, Mr. Edgeworth, I want to thank you."

"What for?" Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. "I haven't done anything yet."

"I know, but you're going to." Pearl didn't move from her bowed position. "When Mystic Maya said someone was coming to see her, I hoped it was Mr. Nick, since he's her 'special someone', but even though he's not here, I'm not so worried anymore because you're here instead."

"'Special... someone'?" Edgeworth reiterated. "Explain."

"You don't know what a 'special someone' is?!" Pearl gasped as if he'd just blasphemed against the Kurain founder herself. "Mr. Edgeworth, a 'special someone' is the person you care about the most. It's someone a person would be ready to do anything for, someone who they would risk everything precious for, someone who they would walk over hot coals, stare down a dragon, die a thousand times over for! A 'special someone' is the most important person anyone can ever have in the whole wide world!"

Edgeworth's expression grew dour.

"You watch a lot of soap operas, don't you?"

Pearl gasped again.

"How did you know that?"

"Never mind. So Miss Fey and Wright are intimate? I didn't realize their relationship had grown beyond the limits of friendship." Edgeworth thought aloud. "Wright never said as much. Not even when Larry goaded him for details of his personal life did he divulge anything of substance."

It was a wise decision Wright made that day. If he had kissed and told, Larry would have had the details posted on a billboard by nightfall.

"Well... it hasn't yet, but I'm working on it." Pearl smiled a little sheepishly. "It's only a matter of time though, Mr. Edgeworth. You'll see. They'll figure it out in the end, I'm sure of it. All I've got to do is keep sending them on spiritual training retreats together and eventually they'll realize just how perfect they are for each other."

Ah. So they were only intimate in the mind of Pearl Fey. Edgeworth wasn't surprised. Capable with direction or not, females of a certain age were a rather fanciful sort, and it seemed this one was no exception.

"Do you have a 'special someone', Mr. Edgeworth?" asked Pearl. "Someone you treasure beyond all others?"

"No. No, I don't."

"Why?" Pearl watched him with wide eyes.

"I just haven't, that's all. There's not much else to say about it." Edgeworth retorted a little more defensively than he initially intended. How did the conversation take this turn?! First he was being judged by the Judge during the trial with the wedding and now he was having to explain his life choices to a lovelorn matchmaking teenager?

"That must be so lonely." Pearl murmured sadly, her eyes brimming with sorrow and pity, both emotions he really disliked being directed towards him ever. "Don't you want to be around someone whom you care about more than your own life? Not to be alone ever again?"

"There are worse things in life than being alone, Pearl." replied Edgeworth coolly. "Now, shall we press on?"

"Yes, of course." Pearl, unlike that irksome attendant, thankfully got the 'drop the subject' tone in his voice. "Mr. Edgeworth... I know you said you couldn't tell me what Mystic Maya wanted you here for or why, but I just want to ask. Is she going to be okay? Do you know what's wrong with her?"

"I don't know yet, Pearl. However, it is my every intention to find out. That, I promise you."

That said, Edgeworth made to get up from the bench as well, but about halfway up, his vision became a technicolor disco of flashing, sparkling lights and he stumbled forwards.

"Mr. Edgeworth?" Pearl instantly rushed to his side. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

"Nngh... I thought this was over." He winced through gritted teeth; the headache had come back with a vengeance. "I'm fine. I just have a headache, that's all."

"Mr. Edgeworth, you look pale. You need to see a doctor."

"I'm fine, Pearl. I don't need to see a doctor. I'm healthy as a... as a.."

... what was he as healthy as again?

He couldn't remember.

"Mr. Edgeworth?"

... who?

No longer having any control over his basic faculties, nor caring that he didn't have them, Edgeworth's eyes rolled up into the back of his head, his body went slack, and he crumpled onto the pavement, out cold.

"Mr. Edgeworth~!"

(A/N- Just a little note here, but I wanted to say a quick thank you for those of you who favorited, alerted and commented. I really appreciate the feedback. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and please review!)