Wasted Love
Rating: M - You guys know why.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, except for my own thoughts, two dogs and too many books.
Acknowledgements: This chapter is unbeta'ded, and English is not my first language. Please, keep that in mind.
A/N: Hello, it's been a long time. Life has kicked my ass for the past year, but as things fall back into place, I felt like we should get this story done. I have not given up on it - hope you guys haven't too. Thank you very much!
CHAPTER THREE
"Emmett, what is she doing here?" Esme inquired calmly as Carlisle stood uncomfortable behind her.
"It's nice to see you too, Esme." I intended to be polite, but my tone gave away my irritation.
"Mom, please." Emmett pleaded, but I interrupted him.
"It's ok, Emm. Why don't you go ahead and fill your parents in?" He nodded.
"I'm going to see my son." Esme stated, walking towards the room.
"Esme wait, please." I put myself between her and the door and she eye-bitched me from head to toe.
"Are you trying to keep me from seeing Edward?"
"Of course not," I said, eye-bitching her right back; with Esme I had to make myself heard, loud, and clear. "I'm merely suggesting that you should talk to Emmett first, for Edward's sake."
She glanced briefly at me, considering my words before turning her attention to Emmett.
"What it's so important that can't be said after I am by Edward's side?"
I had no idea how Emmett would deliver the news for their parents - I knew I couldn't.
"Mother, I'm sorry." He motioned to the chairs, sitting, and waiting for her to sit by his side – she didn't. Emmett sighed deeply. "I didn't want to scare you both over the phone, but Edward's accident was more severe than I lead you to believe." Esme's face blanched as she got a hold of Carlisle hand, sitting carefully in the chair besides her son.
I was paralyzed – I didn't want to be here, but I couldn't find the will to move.
"Let's give them some privacy." My sister pulled me away.
When we reached Edward's room, I turned around to peek, not knowing what to expect from Esme. Would her eyes be filled with the usual superiority?
It was not what I found, though.
When our sights crossed, Esme looked sad, lost, desperate - all feelings that I could identify in myself.
I could see the tears in her eyes while Emmett spoke to her and, watching Esme in that moment, it didn't matter how much I dreaded the woman, I couldn't help but feel that we were on the same boat.
Angela did not want to go into Edward's room just yet, so she decided to go to the cafeteria and get us something to eat; I suspected that she was still not ready to see him.
Letting the world outside for a minute, I slipped quietly into his room while he was still asleep.
His chest moved slowly with the rhythm of his breath and that alone made me relax; I sat by his side on the bed, running my hand through his hair - I've always loved to watch him asleep.
I have missed him every day.
From the moment I left, I knew that forget him was the hardest thing I would ever have to do.
We collapsed side by side on the kitchen floor, exhausted, ignoring the smell of our burned, long forgotten dinner.
"Good lord," Edward puffed trying to catch his breath, his fingers running through his lips. "Am I bleeding? I think I'm bleeding."
I laughed, untangling our legs, and putting my bra back into place.
"Where are my panties?" I asked, trying to sit up to find it.
"Hey," Edward smiled, grabbing my hips, and preventing me from getting up. He pulled me back to him and turned me around, spooning me. "Cuddles." He mumbled, kissing the spot between my shoulders and I hugged him a little tighter, smiling and enjoying the feeling of him wrapped around me.
I really liked him.
I didn't plan to be this involved with anyone, but things between us seem to happen on their own - without mind my plans.
Every date, every stolen moment together, got me more and more attached to this thing we are living.
"That sounded happy." Edward smiled when I sighed, his finger tracing the outline of my body. "That sigh."
"It was," I smiled back. "What you did with your hands tonight…" Pulling his hand from my stomach, I caressed and kissed his fingers. "Just amazing,"
"You are amazing." He murmured and I turned around.
"You are too." I got closer, kissing him once, twice. Edward held me down, deepening our kiss and letting his hands roam through my body again. I forgot about the world exactly when my watch went off, loudly.
"Oh, I have to go," I pecked him lightly, trying to get away from him "I've to work, you know that!"
"No...!" He whined when I got up, letting him on the floor. "Stay!"
I ran to the bathroom, collecting my clothes on the way. When I got out, dressed and decent – as much as I was going to be after Edward's shenanigans - he was waiting for me in the foyer.
I ran to the bathroom, collecting my clothes on the way.
When I got out, dressed and decent – as much as I was going to be after Edward's shenanigans - he was waiting for me in the foyer, with his keys in hand.
"I'll give you a ride." He smiled, handing me my purse.
I smiled at his chivalry, kissing his lips to thank him after he helped me into my coat. "You don't have to; I can call a cab."
He dismissed me, with a smirk.
"I want to." Edward held the door open, and we walked out, hand in hand.
"When can I see you again?" Edward's whispered, hands cycling my waist as we got close to the car and making me smile.
I loved that he was as eager to be with me as I was to be with him.
"Well, I'm free most weeknights." I beamed, leaning against the car, and wrapping my hands around his neck.
I usually worked at the bar from Thursday to Sunday, and apart from my internship and my classes, most of my time have been filled with Edward.
Lots and lots of him - and I could not complain.
"Actually..." He mumbled. "I wondered if you could get the Saturday off at work. My brother is having a party on the new place him and his fiancée just got and... I mean…" He scratched his neck nervously. "I know it's only been a couple of weeks but, I would like you to meet them."
I have never saw Edward so nervous - and it was unbelievably cute.
I smiled at him, without saying anything.
"Yeah, I'm not good at this." He said smiling embarrassed when our eyes met.
"You're better than you think you are." I laughed, pulling him by his shirt and kissing him. "I know it's only been a couple of weeks, but I'd love to meet him too."
Edward gave me a million dollars' worth smile, kissing me deeply - and making me want to forget work and just stay right here with him.
"Why do I feel like you're going to break my heart?" I whispered, mindlessly, when he interrupted our kiss.
"I won't." He said back, watching me mindfully. "All I want is to make you happy."
That night after work, laying on my bed - alone and unable to stop thinking about Edward - I realized that even though I did not know if he were really going to break my heart, I knew damn well I would let him.
The door opened behind me and I turned around to see Emmett entering the room, followed close by Esme e Carlisle.
She was not crying anymore, but her red nose was enough evidence of it.
"Holy Jesus," Esme murmured in a broken voice, getting closer to Edward. "What was he thinking?" She ran her hands over his neck, cheeks, and forehead.
"He wasn't." Carlisle whispered behind her, touching Edwards's hand lightly. "He hasn't thought anything through for a while, Es."
His voice full of such a strange resignation, that made me look over to Emmett in a silent question; he just smiled sadly at me, but it felt like I had missed something that passed between all of them.
"How is he?" Esme said softly, without looking up from her spot on the other side of the bed.
It took me a minute to realize that she was talking to me.
"He's very confused." I said, taking a stepping closer. "He's in pain, but you know Edward, he doesn't show. The doctors believe that the worst is over, so…" I trailed down, shrugging.
"He almost gave me a heart attack." Esme ran her hand over Edward's face once again and his lids fluttered, opening slowly. He looked around startled for a second, his mind adjusting to this strange place until his eyes finally focused on me.
"Hi..." I smiled getting closer. "Your family is here,"
"Hi," He answered sleepily, blinking slowly. "I need coffee."
His non sequitur wish made everyone in the room laugh out loud, and Esme approached him.
"What a way to make your mom feel loved."
"Hi, Ma." Edward said looking at her, his face splitting in a smile that he only used when he knew he was in trouble.
"Oh boy, don't you try to use that smile on me." She warned, pointing a finger at him, but the emotion on her voice betrayed her.
"I'm sorry," He said catching her hand in his free one. "Don't cry mom, I'm ok."
"Thank god you are." She bent kissing his forehead. "Don't ever do that to me again."
"I won't," He vowed, and Esme smiled again, giving space for Carlisle to see him.
"How are you feeling, son?" He patted Edward's cheek, examining him quickly with his eyes.
"I'm fine, Dad." Edward tried to sit straighter in bed. "Sore and a bit confused."
"That's ok," He said, squeezing Edward's shoulder. "We will take care of you."
Carlisle took a step back, getting a hold of Edwards chart in the foot of the bed.
Edward's eyes ran from me to Esme a couple times.
"Babe, I'm thirsty." Esme body is tensed with Edward's term of endearment but, wisely, she did not say anything.
"I'll fetch you something." I smiled, making my way out of the room.
Angela and Rose sat side by side on the hallway chairs, and after I informed the nurse that my husband was woke and thirsty, I joined them.
"Hi darling," Rose smiled, moving so I could seat between them. "How are things in there?"
"As good as they can be, I guess."
"How are you?" Angela asked.
"Relieved." I shrugged. "Confused."
"Do you guys know any further information about the amnesia?"
"Not yet, but the neurologist is coming by this afternoon, so maybe then." Angela nodded.
"This is... big." Rosalie said after a moment. "Serious than I thought it was when we got your call."
"Yes." I agreed. "I only realized it how serious it was when Edward woke up. He looked at me like he hadn't since…."
My voice faded, not able to really say the words. I shrugged, my eyes welling up.
"Hey," Angela touched my arm. "Enough with the crying, you're not like that."
"Apparently I am now." I said, annoyed as hell with myself. "All I do is cry, since I got here." I wiped my face, blowing on the tissue she handed me, like a child. "I don't think I can put in words how it feels to having him back in my life... Especially in this situation."
"And you don't have to." Rose smiled warmly at me, getting a hold of my fidgeting hands. "You don't have to overthink this right now."
"I'm trying," I said. "To be honest, I'm almost as confused as he is."
"That's ok." Angela patted my back.
"Bella?" I heard my name and whirled to spot Carlisle watching us from the door of Edward's room. "He's asking for you."
"Don't you guys want to see him?" I said, getting up.
"Emmet and I decided that I shouldn't see him right now, it might be too much. I'm too far along." Rosalie smiled sadly.
"I'll stay here with Rosalie." Angela smiled by her side. "The Dementor in the shape of your mother-in-law has sucked enough life out of me today. Plus, fat Rose makes me feel good about myself."
"You wish you looked this good at 35 weeks." Rose smiled, throwing a lock of her golden hair past her shoulders.
"Couldn't have me feeling nice, could you?" Angie asked deadly serious, while I walked away laughing.
Carlisle waited for me with a smug in his lips.
"What are you smiling about?" I teased him.
"It's good to see you all together again," He said as some form of greeting, opening his arms. "Hi, darling."
"Hi," I smiled, engulfed by his hug. "It feels good to be back."
"How are you doing?"
"I'm fine," I said. "Better now that he's awake."
"Yeah, what a long night, hm?"
"The longest." Together, we entered the room. "Hey," I murmured when I found his green eyes looking at me.
"Hey," Edward said, smiling back. He was now in a half sitting on the bed. "Is everything ok?"
"Yes, what about you?" I approached him. "Got your coffee?" I teased.
"I wish," He smiled, putting his arm around me once I got closer enough. I could feel Esme watching us like a hawk. I caressed his forehead and he winced. "They got me water and some pills for my migraine."
"You should rest," Emm stated, rising from his place on the couch, smiling at us. "You have to sleep. It's the only way your body will..."
"Recover, I know." Edward rolled his eyes. "You and dad, both, said that already."
"Hey, don't blame me for your tick skull." Emmet joked. He got a hold of Edward's hand and they shared a meaningful glare. "You're good?"
"I am." Edward smiled slightly at him, while Esme watched their interaction.
"Good. You need to sleep, and you won't be able to do it so with all of us around." He looked at me. "I'm taking mom and dad to lunch and-"
"I'm not going anywhere." Esme hissed.
"Yes mom, you are." Emmett snapped back. "Edward needs to rest and you and father need to eat – what that you haven't done in twelve hours. So, Rose and I are taking you out to lunch."
She stared at him, completely bewildered, and a little offended.
Well, Emmett sure had grown outside of his mother's wings - I was glad.
"Where's Rose by the way?" Edward asked, unaware of the tension in the room.
We all looked nervously at each other, but Emmett was ready for this question. "She's trapped at work," He answered. "But she'll be here as soon as she can."
Edward smiled widely. "She better not to expect inheriting anything with that behavior."
I laughed alongside Emmett.
"I'm glad to see that after a nap, your lack of self-preservation is still intact." He smiled. "Bells, we'll be back before the doctors come. But if anything changes…"
"…I'll call you." Kissing my cheek and patting Edward's shoulder, he walked out glancing at his parents. "I'm waiting for you outside."
"He's right Es," Carlisle stepped closer. "Edward has to sleep. We'll be right back, ok?" He said touching Edward's arm and he nodded, looking at Esme.
"Go, mom." He smiled tenderly at her. "I'll be right here."
Defeated, she kissed Edward's cheek. "You better."
Without looking at me, she walked out.
"You're welcome." Carlisle mouthed to me with a smile, winking and closing the door.
"Well, I didn't though she would accept it so easily." I smiled at Edward, taking his extended hand.
"You look tired," He said, pulling me closer.
"I am," I blinked slowly, getting closer enough to kiss him. "You look tired, too."
I could not stop my body – we gravitated towards each other; It has been like this since the first kiss. I held his face between my hands, kissing him lightly and feeling his warm mouth on mine, his taste in my lips. The kiss deepened itself, and suddenly were glued to each other, his tongue invading me, our teeth clashing.
"Bella…" He moaned, breaking the kiss to catch a breath.
"I love you," I whispered, touching our foreheads. "Nothing else matters to me, ok? Just you."
I had no idea where that had come from, but I just had to make this clear – maybe more for me than for him: I did not care about Esme or about how hard it was going to be; if there was a chance that this was going to work, I would stay.
"I know, baby." He said, kissing me again. "I know, me too." We kissed and kissed, whispering I love you and forgetting about where we are.
I got up in the bed by his side, hugging his body and feeling him alive under my hands, relishing in his warmth, in the beat of his heart.
Edward was alive, here, with me.
"You really should sleep," I said, caressing the skin under his eyes and kissing him lightly, once again.
"I will." He murmured, eyes closing. "As soon as those pills the nurse gave me kick in - those things were the size of grapes!" I laughed at his babbling. "When can we go home?"
"Not for a while, baby." Edward was starting to drift off. "Don't you worry about that."
He mumbled something else, sighing deeply and just like that he had fallen asleep again.
I sat up, thinking about his request to go home.
After I moved out of our condo in Seattle, I went to the summer house we had in Portland and never looked back.
He promised me that he would not bother me, and he did not - It was surreal, to say the least, to be here right now kissing and loving him, ready to take him back in my life after everything we have been through.
Two soft knocks on the door, brought me back and Angie walked in.
"Hey," She waved the bagel in her hand. "Can I come in?"
"Of course," I smiled, climbing down the bed. "He's asleep, again."
Angela rested the food in the table at the foot of the bed and stepped closer to my sleeping husband.
"Jesus, he wrecked himself." She bended to kiss his forehead. "Dumbass."
Angie spoke fondly - they have always been close; teasing each other and joking around.
"Hungry?" She took a step back, pointing to the coffee and a warm bagel and joining me by the couch.
"Actually, yes!" I ate and let her entertain me with her little adventures of last night while we ate; it felt good to have my sister by my side.
She got up to discard our used containers and came back with a much serious face.
"How are you, Bells?"
I sighed without knowing how to answer her.
"I'm ok." I played with my hands. "I mean, this is unbelievable."
"It is." She agreed.
"I'm trying to deal with one thing at a time and not freak out over the whole picture." I shrugged. "I'm completely blindfolded right now, which goes right against all of my controlling tendencies, but… He is here, and alive. That's been my silver lining."
That was it - we could deal with the rest.
"I'm glad he is alive, you know, I don't have to say that" She smiled. "And I mean what I said: I got your back, no matter what."
"I know," I reached for her hand. "Right now, there's not much to do, we've to wait for the doctors to find out more about, well… everything."
"Have you called dad?" Angie asked.
"I only called Emmett, and you." I said truthfully. "But I'll call Charlie, sooner than later."
"Do It. He loves Edward. He would like to know what's going on." she continued, with a smile in her voice. "What about mom?"
"Oh yeah right," I laughed, resting my head on the couch. "Mom's going to have a heart attack... after she had her share of screaming." My sister laughed wholeheartedly. "I'm not calling her until I know what I'll do. What can she do from Florida, anyway?"
"Freak the fuck out, that's what she can do." Angie stated, and truest words have never been spoken.
Angela and I busied ourselves talking about work, and how we would handle the week ahead of, and before I could notice, Emmett was knocking on Edward's room, his sweet smile appearing on the doorway.
"We're back." He announced, without completely open the door. "Can we come in?"
"Of course." I said, getting up. "How's lunch?"
"Stressful." He answered, winning a scowl from Esme that gotten into the room right behind him. "How was him? Did the doctors come by?"
"He's fine, has been asleep since you guys left." I smiled. "And Dr. Jane hasn't come by yet."
"Good, he's under so many medications, right now... Sleep is the best thing for him." He said, looking at his watch, "Dr. Jane will probably be here soon."
Esme had already taken her place in the chair besides Edward's bed, holding his hand in hers, her smug on place.
I resisted to the urge to roll my eyes and focused on Emmett instead. "Do you think they will want to talk to us first?"
"Yes," That worried me - how much could I help? I knew nothing about Edward's life for the last three years. Emm touched my shoulder lightly, sensing my nerves. "Don't worry; they'll probably want to know the main facts about his life. I'll be there with you if you want me too."
I squeezed his hand lightly.
"I'm just not sure about how much I can help."
"You've helped enough." Esme's dry tone rose. "You have nothing to do here. We have all appreciated your help, but this is a family matter."
I looked at her, gapping like a fish. I was not shocked by her words - I was shocked by her lack of tact of saying it with Edward at an earshot.
"Mom…" Emmett started but I waved, efficiently cutting him.
"I am his family, Esme. You like it or not." I declared firmly. "Right now, there's nothing more important for me than your son's wellbeing."
"Family?" Her words dripped with sarcasm. "You have no idea what this word means."
"That's enough, mom." Emmett said loudly, and her angry glare moved to him. "Bella is Edward's wife, legally and in any other away."
Esme gapped - she obviously thought that we had already sign the divorce papers.
The air was tense while Esme stared from Emmett to me, probably trying to come up with another flow of venom; but I was no longer the naïve girl she had met ten years ago.
"Esme," I said calmly. "I know you hate me. Do it, I don't care, but do it understanding that I'm not going anywhere."
I was begging for a bad reaction, but if that is how it was going to be, I wanted to get it all out of the way.
The last thing I possibly need was to live with Esme's passive/aggressive attacks - not around Edward, and not right now.
Her mouth opened to respond me, but she was interrupted by soft knocks on the door.
Dr. Jane appeared, smiling softly at us. "Excuse me," She smiled entering the room, followed by a couple of doctors dressed in scrubs.
"Hi, Dr. Jane, please come in." I stepped closer, shaking hands with her. "These are Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, Edward's parents. You've met my brother-in-law, Emmett."
"Hello, my name is Dr. Jane Volturi. I've been following Mr. Cullen case since he was admitted at the emergency." Stepping aside she continued, while shaking hands. "Allow me to introduce Dr. Riley Biers and Dr. Bree Tanner." She motioned to the young man besides her. "Dr. Biers is Neurologist and also has been following the case from the begging."
"I'm very sorry for what you all have been through, but Mr. Cullen was very lucky." Dr. Biers said softly, shaking my hand. "Today I'll be performing a series of exams on him with the assistance of Dr. Tanner. Hopefully, we will be able to help."
Following the cue, Dr. Jane continued.
"Dr. Bree Tanner was invited by Dr. Biers to work with us in Edward's case." Dr. Tanner was almost as short and young as Dr. Jane, but with a much friendlier face. "She's a part of the psychology board at our hospital and has been working with amnesia patients exclusively for a while."
"Nice to meet you," I said smiling at her. "Thank you for coming."
"It's my pleasure," She said back, smiling at or family. "I'm actually familiar with your work Dr. Cullen's," She motioned at my father-in-law. "It's an honor to meet you, Dr. Cullen, your son is in good hands."
Carlisle and Emmett launched themselves in all kinds of medical questions, and I took a step back, glancing at Edward sleeping peaceful. He looked… Beaten. Not only physically, and that worried me the most.
How would he deal with the truth?
"Mrs. Cullen?" Dr. Tanner called from the door, making both - me and Esme - look at her at the same time. She smiled politely but looking at me. "I would like to talk to you while Dr. Biers and Dr. Jane take Mr. Cullen to realize some exams. Would you mind step into my office for a few minutes?"
"Of course," I felt Esme glare burning me. "Whatever I can do to help."