Chapter Five: A Call to Action
*Breee Breee*
Edgeworth peeled one slitted eyeball open and groaned. He wasn't sure what time it was, but as far as he was concerned, it wasn't a time in which he was meant to be awake.
*Breee Breee*
His bleary eye shifted to the table on the right.
His phone was ringing.
Edgeworth closed his eye again and exhaled heavily. Let it go to voicemail, he didn't care.
*Breee Breee*
This was all just a bad dream. In fact, he wasn't even awake.
*Breee Breee*
No, definitely not awake. He was just going to turn over and-
*Breee Breee*
Oh, for- Fine.
He'd answer it.
'I swear to all things holy, if this is Larry, I am going to throttle him. I don't care if Wright's in the river.' Edgeworth reached over, picked up the phone, pressed the receive button and stuck it up to his ear.
"... hello? Edgeworth speaking..."
"Mr. Edgeworth!"
Edgeworth's shoulders uncoiled a little.
It wasn't Larry.
It was just Ema.
"Ema... Detective Skye, do you have any idea what time it is?"
"Too stinkin' early..." carped Maya sleepily. The 'breeeing' from his phone had roused her as well.
"Four thirty in the morning, sir!" barked Ema. "However, that's not important, I have pressing news about the carbon monoxide leak in the Prosecutors' Office."
"Very well. Proceed." Edgeworth bit back a yawn.
"After we alerted the fire department, the police orchestrated an evacuation of the building and had everyone sufficiently examined by the paramedics when they arrived on the scene. No stone was left unturned and all the personnel present were tallied, filed and marked."
"Good. Was anyone else exposed to the carbon monoxide?"
"There were a few cases of minor carbon monoxide exposure on part of the janitorial staff, but no one suffered any serious poisoning." reported Ema. "Nobody had to be rushed to the hospital and no one died. All in all, I'd say this was a complete success."
"Excellent." Edgeworth's shoulders loosened further; he knew he could trust Ema to take care of everything. "However, that news could've waited until the morning to tell me. Detective Skye, I expect a higher level of decorum and propriety from you than from most other detectives, so you should have known better than to-"
"Actually, sir, that wasn't the reason I called." Ema interrupted him, which he found strange since she'd never done that before. "We found the source of the leak and I figured you would wish to know directly upon us finding it, especially given who is concerned."
Edgeworth suddenly wasn't sleep addled anymore.
"You found the source?" He sat up, pulling Maya along with him because she'd latched onto his arm and had been cuddling it in her sleep.
"Yes, we did." Ema said soberly. "We traced the leak to a damaged space heater that was leaking CO into the ventilation system."
"A space heater…?"
Sleepy or not, that struck him as odd.
Edgeworth was a strict boss, no one would deny that, but he certainly wasn't Scrooge. He didn't keep a lock on the coal box in regards to the thermostat inside the offices, nor had any of the employees complained that they were freezing. If they had, he would've had the heat turned up.
So what was a space heater doing in the building?
"Detective, examine the space heater thoroughly, for its presence alone is suspicious." Edgeworth told her. "The Prosecutors' Office has central heating. There's no need for such a device."
"More importantly, why was it on?" Maya chirped in. "It's almost summertime."
Edgeworth spared her a withering glance. Hadn't she ever heard of a private phone call before?
Actually, on second thought, it probably would save him a few nerves if he simply put Ema on speaker phone. Maya would just dig at him for details after the call ended, anyway. She might as well hear it straight from the detective's mouth.
"Is that Maya again?" asked Ema.
"Hi, Ema!"
"Yes, that's her." Edgeworth held the phone flat in his hand and pressed the speakerphone button. "I put you on speakerphone."
"Sir, uh… not that I don't trust your judgment, but are you sure that's a kosher idea? This is an open investigation-"
"It's fine. Continue, detective. She has my permission to listen in."
"Oh. Well... okay, sir. If you say so." shrugged Ema. "Hi, Maya! Anyway, we examined the space heater and found that there was more to this than just the space heater being there in the first place. You see, the space heater was-"
*Bababa baba babababaaaaa*
All of a sudden, Maya's phone started to go off like crazy.
"Sir, what's that noise?" asked a highly confused Ema. "It sounds like the theme tune from the 'Steel Samurai'."
"It's my phone. Hang on, I'll get it." Maya clicked the phone on and pressed it up to her ear. "Yello?"
"Maya, are you okay?!"
"Yeowch!" Maya thrust the phone away from her ear as Phoenix Wright's voluminous tones made everyone within earshot's eyes cross.
"And now Mr. Wright?!" Ema gasped over the phone. "Mr. Edgeworth, I know you're in the hospital right now, but you're not having a party or anything without me, are you?"
"Detective Skye, let me assure you right here and now that I have never been, nor will I ever be, one to host parties of any kind." Edgeworth pressed a finger to his other ear in an attempt to quell the ringing. "Maya, if you would, put Wright on speaker phone as well. Not that he needs it, of course."
"Sure, okay." Maya pressed the button that switched the call to speakerphone and held it between herself and Edgeworth. "Nick? Jeez, what's gotten into you? Do you have any idea what time it is?"
"Where are you?! Are you okay?!" Wright demanded in a frightful flap through the phone. "Is Pearls okay?! Did anybody else get hurt?! What's going on?!"
"Well, some spiky haired meatball just woke me up from my beauty rest, but other than that, not much. What's up with you?" yawned Maya. "Also I'm at the hospital, not sure why'd you'd wanna know that at a stupid hour in the morning, and last I checked, Pearly's a-okay. Why?"
"Why are you at the hospital?!" Wright continued, obviously about ready to lose his mind, and halfway there if Edgeworth got a vote. "Are you alright?! Did you get caught up in it?!"
"Oh, I'm fine. It's Mr. Edgeworth you should be worried about. He's the one who passed out in the street. I'm just keeping him company until the hospital staff throws him out. He says hi, by the way."
Edgeworth scoffed.
No, he hadn't.
"You don't need to tell everyone of my temporary invalidity, Maya. They'll get ideas."
"Edgeworth got caught up in it? Is he... is he okay? And what the heck is he doing in Kurain?" Wright paused for a minute. "... He didn't burn his neck scarf, did he?"
"It's a long story and not one I wish to recount right now, Wright. Moreover, I'll have you know my cravat is fine." Edgeworth interjected tersely. "You'd best have a good reason for calling at this hour, unless you want to join the ranks of Larry when it comes to ignoring the old adage that 'discretion is the better part of valor'."
"Hey, I've got a pretty darn good reason for being worried enough to call and want to make sure everybody's not in pieces." Wright shot back. "It's kinda freaky neither of you are freaking out yourselves, actually."
"Why? What are you talking about, Nick?"
"Wha- you mean neither of you know?! Didn't you hear it?! It's literally right there and everything-"
"It seems there is much we don't know." Edgeworth cut him off; Wright's loudness was giving him a headache. "Wright, I understand that you believe you must panic, but unfortunately for you, Detective Skye called first, so you will just have to wait your turn."
"Ema? What are you doing there? Edgeworth, are you having a party without me or something?"
Edgeworth pinched his nose.
"Hi, Mr. Wright! How are you?" chirped Ema from Edgeworth's phone.
"Uh... okay? I'm doing pretty well, I guess." said Wright from Maya's phone with a verbal shrug. "I was working late and turned on the TV to give myself some background noise and got a huge scare, but other than that-"
"Maya, please prop up them up so they can shout at each other." Edgeworth dropped his phone onto the mattress and held his temple in his hand. "Otherwise, I might just throw both phones out the window."
"At this point, I wouldn't blame you." Maya plucked up his phone and held them parallel to each other. "Okay you guys, everybody's here and accounted for, so how about we get back on topic, yeah? Ema, you said you found the source of the leak?"
"Leak? What leak?"
"A carbon monoxide leak. There was one detected in the Prosecutors' Office and Detective Skye was just reporting her findings on it." said Edgeworth. "You haven't missed much, so hush and you'll find out."
"Is that why you're in the hospital?" Wright most decidedly did not hush.
"Yep. He passed out in the middle of the road and Pearly dragged him in."
"Huh. Girl's got muscle." mused Ema.
"Yeah, I already knew that from all the times she's decked me." said Wright with a grimace. "So you're okay, then? No brain damage?"
"I am, for the most part, fine. I should be discharged in the morning should the resident head dictator decree as much." Edgeworth shifted his attention to the other phone. "In any case, Detective, please continue. You were talking about a space heater."
"Right. I already told Mr. Edgeworth and Maya, but thanks to an extensive search on part of the fire department, we found the source of the carbon monoxide to be a failing space heater stashed in the back of the janitor's closet. It had failed its safety inspections and was leaking CO through a crack in the main mechanism."
"So the leak was caused by a faulty portable heater?" asked Wright through the phone.
"Yeah, but that's only a little bit of the iceberg. You see, we only found the crack in the heater after we peeled off a long ventilation hose that had been duct taped over it."
"I see." Edgeworth folded his arms across his chest. "And where did this hose lead to?"
"Well..." Ema took a long breath and exhaled it. "The hose was being fed into the duct system that runs over top all the high prosecutors' offices. So, when the fire brigade crawled inside the metal duct work to check it out, they found the opposite side of the hose had been stuck to a particular vent with electrician's tape to keep it stationary."
"And… which vent was that?" asked Maya.
Ema made a noncommittal noise that sounded like she didn't want to answer.
"Detective." Edgeworth's tone brooked no argument. "Where was the hose attached? Which vent was it?"
"... it was the vent to your office, sir."
Edgeworth went dead silent.
"Wh-what?!" exclaimed Wright. "Edgeworth's office-"
"That's why only you were exposed to the carbon monoxide. Well, you and the janitors. The carbon monoxide was only present in your office, no one else's." Ema sounded really upset. "So, it seems... from the evidence we have, someone was trying to poison you with carbon monoxide. It's a pretty clever trick, all things considered. Other than a rosy rash on exposed parts of skin caused by blood that didn't move with gravity as it normally does with rigor mortis, there're not usually many other symptoms associated with it, and you were working yourself half to death in a stuffy, overheated room, sir. Dying due to heat and overall exhaustion would've probably been the findings of the coroner if they didn't test the blood for- Mr. Edgeworth? Are you still there?"
Edgeworth didn't answer. He simply sat there, white as a sheet and at a total loss for words.
"Don't those offices have carbon monoxide detectors, though?" asked Maya. "Wouldn't they have gone off at the first sign of the gas?"
"Yeah, if they'd been working, they would've." The sounds of snackoos being munched filled the receiver. "Turns out the carbon monoxide detectors for that entire floor had been messed with past the point of no return. None of them went off like they were supposed to and there were signs the plastic outside casing had been forced open with a shiv of some kind. The fire chief says they'd been tampered with to the point of malfunction."
"And in layman's terms, that means what, exactly?" asked Wright.
"Somebody smashed the insides with a hammer."
"That's pretty tampered, alright." said Maya.
"Have... have you interrogated the janitors about this?" Edgeworth took in a deep breath and steadied himself. "What do they have to say about it?"
"We're questioning the janitorial staff now, but nothing's really showing up proving they had anything to do with it." reported Ema. "I think they're innocent, but this was definitely an inside job. Who else could've gotten in far enough to tamper so much?"
"... I see. Well, that does narrow down the culprit list somewhat." said Edgeworth. "Thank you for calling me, Detective. That was very quick thinking on your part. I will note your impressive actions in your next review."
The munching hitched.
"Th-thank you, Mr. Edgeworth." She coughed; Ema likely swallowed a snackoo whole. "However, please don't thank me until after we catch this crook. I'm not done just yet. This guy's still on the loose and until we catch them, it's all hands on deck."
"Yeah, sounds like that's the right thing to do right now." Wright whistled through a crack in his teeth. "And here I thought the train station exploding was bad-"
"'Train station exploding'?" Edgeworth repeated. "What do you mean, 'train station exploding'? Explain yourself, Wright."
"Nothing to explain, it's exactly what I just said." Wright replied. "That's why I called Maya. The Kurain Village train station, the new one, exploded a couple hours ago. Why else do you think I'd be calling at a stupid hour in the morning? I'm not Larry, for pete's sake."
"Blown up?!" cried Maya in indignant dismay. "But we just built that thing~!"
"Where was the source of the explosion located?" demanded Edgeworth.
"I dunno. The news didn't say, something about there being more developments later and they didn't have all the details yet." said Wright.
"Well, we'll find out soon enough." said Ema. "I'm already on my way there. It'll take some time because we're going by car, but I'll be there later this morning."
"Hey, if it's not too far out of your way, can you pick me up while you're at it?"
"I suppose I can, but are you really sure you want to come, Mr. Wright? It's a long ride by car and I know your back's not what it used to be-"
"Just be here in ten minutes and I'll be ready to go." Wright's tone was resolute. "Hang on you guys, I'm on my way. Athena, I need you to watch the office for me, I'm stepping out for a few- Trucy, stop trying to cut her in half, she's not Apollo~"
Maya's phone clicked off as Wright's call ended.
"Oo-kay, looks I'm playing taxi." Ema swallowed the last of her snackoos. "I'll see you guys later with Mr. Wright, okay?"
"Very well, we will await your arrival." Edgeworth responded austerely, though his thoughts were preoccupied elsewhere.
"Oh, and Mr. Edgeworth?"
"Yes?" He looked at the phone.
"... Be careful. Please?" Ema suddenly sounded very small. "I... we... I don't know what we'd do if-"
"Don't worry, Ema." Maya suddenly spoke in a pertinaciously authoritative manner that didn't seem right coming from her. "As the master of the Fey clan, I won't let anything happen to him. I promise."
"... okay." Ema smiled a little through the phone. "You'd better make good on that, ya hear me?"
"Absolutely." Maya smiled back.
Ema sniffed once and the call ended.
Though the occupancy in the hospital room hadn't changed per se, Maya's smile faded and she sneaked a peek at Edgeworth, who didn't bother returning it.
He was far too busy staring at the wall.
"So... the train station blew up." She made a stab at conversation. "I suppose it's a good thing you didn't head there right after coming out of the tranquilizer, huh?"
Edgeworth didn't reply.
"Mr. Edgeworth... are you okay?" Maya waved her hand in front of his ashen face. "Hello? You're still in there, right? Don't tell me I'm just getting static here."
"I'm fine." Taking another lengthy breath, Edgeworth tore his eyes away from the wall and ran a hand down his face. "I'm just... awake now, that's all."
"Do you want to talk about it?" offered Maya.
"No." He shook his head. If anything, he just wanted to back to sleep and pretend none of this had ever happened.
Maya didn't seem particularly convinced, but she inclined her head once and smiled warmly as if that alone would dispel the adrenaline coursing throughout his system.
"Alright. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. However, if you change your mind, I'm here, okay?" She put her hand on top of his and squeezed it a little. "You're not alone if you don't want to be."
Edgeworth watched the hand that rested on top of his own with a distantly pensive expression. He understood the sentiment she wished to impart, but whether or not she liked it, he was most definitely alone in this situation and he saw fit to keep it that way.
"There's nothing to talk about." Edgeworth removed his hand from underneath hers and looked out the window. "This is merely another aspect of working as a prosecutor, nothing more."
"O-oh." Maya took her hand back and set it in her lap. "I didn't know that."
"I don't see why you would." Edgeworth glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "For one reason or another, many people have a desire to see a prosecutor dead. For instance, my mentor received at least a hundred death threats a month. If he didn't get any more than that, he considered it proof that he wasn't doing his job thoroughly enough. And, while we might differ on a plethora of issues, if someone is attempting to kill me, that means I am doing something right. 'You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies'."
"Mr. Edgeworth, don't compare yourself to that nasty old gremlin." Maya's cheek puffed out defiantly. "Unlike you, he probably deserved them."
Edgeworth's eyebrows lifted. Out of all of the derogatory names he'd heard Manfred Von Karma called over the years, ranging from 'slavedriver' and 'vindictive old prune' to 'outright monster' and 'the perfect embodiment of a corrupt society', no one had ever called him a 'gremlin' before.
"I agree he was not... the most savory of people." Edgeworth attempted to be discreet, but just the thought of what Von Karma had orchestrated in the past left an unpleasant taste in his mouth. "However, given his natural paranoia, he managed to circumvent attempt after attempt on his life with flawless ease. This incident with the carbon monoxide is nothing but a reminder of the precarious nature of a prosecutorial career. I appear to have become complacent as of late, but no longer. I must become more vigilant-"
"So long as you don't become evil."
Edgeworth's cheek twitched. She wasn't listening to what he was saying.
"Maya, you're not-" He rounded on her, but stopped midway when he caught sight of her staring daggers at him, her face hardened like marble.
"... what?" He asked uncomfortably; he didn't like it when she looked at him like that.
"I'm serious. Don't you even think of being like him." Maya watched him with such intensity, he wasn't half sure it wasn't high noon at the OK corral. "I understand you want to be more careful, heck, I applaud that idea, but if you sink to the same level that Von Karma did just to do it, you'll lose everything that makes living important in the first place and you'll end up just like he was; pure evil. I don't care if he was good at staying alive, or whatever. Turning into him isn't worth it. It's not worth anything."
Edgeworth was taken aback.
She'd never talked to him like that before.
"Anything to do with him is just… it's just wrong!" Maya continued, the color rising in her cheeks. "I thought you figured that out a long time ago, but if you're still entertaining the idea that anything that horrible old dragon said had merit-"
"Why do you feel so strongly about him?" Edgeworth's eyes narrowed. "You're not normally this caustic."
"I..." Now it was Maya's turn to look away. "I just do. I've got my reasons."
"... I see." Edgeworth's eyelids fell halfway; Maya was far too emotional for her own good. "Well, you needn't get so worked up. I'm not planning on becoming him; just employing a few techniques to keep myself alive. That's all. I hope that doesn't offend your sensibilities too much."
Maya recalcitrantly picked at a wrinkle on the blanket.
"... I still don't get how you can mention him without getting furious." She grumbled contrarily.
"I still don't understand why you are more upset than I am at his mention." countered Edgeworth as he moved to stand up. "It seems you and I judge people on entirely different scales."
"Pfft, ain't that the truth." Maya murmured bitterly. "Actually, speaking of scales, Mr. Edgeworth, before you get off that thing, there's something you need to know about the be-"
*VREE VREE VREE*
"Nngghhhooohh~!" Edgeworth leapt back onto the bed as a horridly vile screech coming from under the bed howled throughout the room. "What in the nine fresh hells is this?!"
"I tried warning you." Maya stuck her hands on her hips. "They turned the bed's alarm on when you were asleep. The alarm's synchronized with the scale underneath the bed which is then configured with your body weight. If you move your weight off the scale, it'll trigger the alarm and-"
"Get back in that bed where you came from, or so help me~!"
The hawkish doctor with the yellow eyes slid into the room, skidded to a halt, and thrust one imposing finger straight at Edgeworth's face.
"-call Phil in here." Maya finished, her face pained, and waved at the doctor. "Hi, Phil. Don't worry. I think he got your memo."
"Nnnghh..." Edgeworth held a clawed hand to his heart while the EKG machine he was attached to did the macarena.
"Yeah, I can see that." Phil laxed his stance and looked at Edgeworth with an insolently amused grin. "So, tried leaving, didja? How'd that work out?"
Edgeworth silently seethed at him. He didn't trust himself to speak.
"Welp, looks like somebody got the picture, so I guess I won't have to get another round of '16' just yet." Phil cackled. "By the way, what the hell kind of yell was that? It sounded like somebody ran over a cat's tail with a tractor."
Maya's eyes gleamed mischievously.
"Normally only found in its native habitat of the 'quart haus', the red breasted 'Nnghooh' owl doesn't tend to emit its trademark hoot unless caught off guard by an unforeseen 'contra-diction', taken unawares by a new development it had not known about, or when getting skunked by its natural predator, the blue crested porcupine." She explained, taking on the voice of a nature documentary narrator. "A normally unflappable creature, the 'Nnghooh' owl can also be rendered incapacitated by the dreaded ritual known as 'small talk'. However, when confronted by such convention among the other birds, it employs clever defensive techniques, such as curtly hooting at them so they maintain a wide berth and pressing itself to the wall as a means of camouflage. Then when given the opportunity, it flies away to hide in its nest so it can hopefully get some of its work done without distraction, so long as the other birds don't follow it to see what it's doing and if it wants to go get food."
"Oho, I see." Phil's grin broadened. "I had no idea such a rare creature was gracing the ER today. No wonder I didn't recognize the sound. Well, on behalf of the medical staff..." He took a deeply exaggerated bow.
"Hoot, hoot, hoot."
'Including myself, I hate everyone in this room.' Edgeworth thought heatedly to himself as the other two laughed themselves silly.
"-And here are some dizziness tablets in case you feel woozy, and here are some pain medications, not anything too strong, but they will take the edge off should you start to feel the effects of landing face first onto the pavement, and I've got some cold compresses should bruising start to manifest on your arm- you took one heck of a spill, dear- and they'll work if those prick marks start to hurt, too. Oh, and I've got something else that I think you might like-"
"There's more?" Edgeworth inquired incredulously as Dr. Bolysm rummaged through the medicine cupboard. She'd already unloaded what looked like half a pharmacy on him- the pile in his arms was almost too much for him to carry as it was- and she wasn't finished?!
"Well, I'd give you some angry eyes, but you're already wearing a pair, so I'll save them for the next patient." The doctor pulled out a strange looking device and placed it on top of the pile. "Now this is something I know you'll want."
"What is it?" Edgeworth spared it a curious glance from overtop the pile.
"A portable carbon monoxide detector." She tapped the side of her nose. "Mystic Maya told me you wanted to be extra careful from now on, so I dug it out of the closet and dusted it off. It's a bit old, but it'll get the job done."
"She mentioned that?" Edgeworth set down the pile of detritus on the bed behind him and picked up the monoxide detector. "That was very thorough of her."
"Mmhm, just before she nipped out so you could get dressed." nodded the doctor. "She really is a sweet creature. We couldn't ask for a better prospective master of the Fey clan. It'll be an honor serving under her."
"So you are a member of the Fey clan as well." Edgeworth examined the detector; from what he could see, it was indeed in working condition. This would prove most useful should anyone make another attempt on his life with CO.
"Yes, not that it makes much difference." nodded Dr. Bolysm. "I didn't really have a whole of lot interest in channeling for a living, so I took to doing other things, like medical school, getting married, then getting married again, and eventually ending up the head doctor for the entire village."
Edgeworth made an equivocal noise as he turned the device over to check the manufacturing date.
Good lord, it was older than he was.
"It's truly funny how life works out." continued the doctor. "You think your life is going to go one way, and then out of left field, a complete enigma of a human being leaps out of nowhere, changes everything, and turns your entire life on its head. It's hilarious when people, young people especially, think they know how their lives are going to be from start to finish, when the only thing in life that any of us know by the end of it is what we don't."
"And, like it or not, not one is exempt from that. Not even you, Mr. Prosecutor."
"Pardon?" Edgeworth looked up from the device; he'd been tuning her out in favor of the monoxide detector.
"Oh, nothing." The doctor smiled. "Just an old woman rambling. Pay it no mind."
"Very well. So, is that it, then?" Edgeworth turned on the device and tucked it into his briefcase. He was itching to get out of the hospital as soon as possible. Detective Skye and Wright were probably already at the train station and he wanted to speak with them before heading over to Fey Manor to see this 'Mrs. Voyant'.
"Almost." Dr. Bolysm tilted her head at an angle. "I have a question to ask you first."
"What is it?" Edgeworth raised an eyebrow. She wasn't going to take another sample of his blood again, was she? His arm already ached from being ravaged by the intern as it was.
"Would I be right in thinking you're the sort of man who thrives on rules, regulations and manuals? The sort of man who needs to study things word for word in order to grasp the whole truth?"
"If you mean, do I prefer practical, methodical approaches that leave little room for doubt and which swiftly arrive at the truth, then yes." said Edgeworth. "Why do you ask?"
"Mmhm, that's what I thought. Then you're going to be needing this."
The doctor reached into her coat pocket and pulled out the rattiest book Edgeworth had ever seen in his life. It was moldy, the cover was threadbare, it held a particularly pungent odor, and the hefty lock with a jade Magatama detailing clamped to the outside was probably all that held the book together if the frayed spine was any indication of the state of the binding.
"Well, what are you waiting for, Christmas?" The doctor wiggled it at him. "Go on, take it. It's yours now. It won't bite you."
"While I do not intend to come across as disrespectful..." Edgeworth took the proffered book and held it gingerly. "What is this moldy old tome and why would I need it?"
"That 'moldy old tome' is an extremely useful tool for anyone out of their depth where the Fey clan is concerned." explained Dr. Bolysm. "So, in short, it's for you. Inside is housed all the information you will ever need to navigate your way around here and beyond in all matters Fey. You're very methodical, so this will serve as a manual of sorts. Just make sure you memorize what you read. It'll prove invaluable to you later on."
Hm. If it was really as important as the doctor said, then perhaps Edgeworth would peruse it when he got the chance. Familiarizing oneself with the rules and customs of any foreign situation never failed to be useful, even if only in cursory affairs.
"Thank you." He inclined his head in gratitude and turned the book over. "The clasp seems to be engaged, so how am I supposed to open it? Is there a key or is there a secret mechanism that unlocks it?"
The doctor smiled.
"You're a smart man. You'll figure it out."
"Mr. Edgeworth!" Maya stuck her head through the opening in the door, her face shining with a pinkish glow. "I see you're back to your neck scarf wearing self again. Are you ready to go?"
"Almost. The doctor's just about done discharging me." Edgeworth turned to the doctor. "You are almost done, aren't you?"
"Yes, I think I've said what I need to." said the doctor with a nod. "Just wait out front, dear."
"Okay. I'll see you up front. Don't take too long, we've got a lot to do today and nary a second to waste." Maya's head disappeared from the hole in the door and footfalls clopped their merry way towards the front waiting room.
"Well, you heard the lady." Dr. Bolysm flicked her wrist at him. "Best not keep her waiting."
"Yes, of course." Edgeworth spared a tired glance at the plethora of odd accoutrements deposited on the bed behind him. He really didn't want to take all this nonsense with him. It was such overkill.
"Oh, what's with that look?" The doctor chided him. "Don't get your cravat in a tizzy. You don't have to take everything if you don't want to. The only things I insist you do take are the book and the detector. Other than that, just go, you silly noodle."
Edgeworth's expression grew unamused.
"If you weren't going to force me to take all this, what was the point of making me go through all that?"
"Mostly because it was fun watching you squirm while Mystic Maya wasn't around to poke you. Now go on. She's waiting for you and it won't do to keep the master waiting."
Edgeworth felt another tension headache coming on, but he didn't mention it. The last thing he wanted was to be in this place a minute longer than he absolutely had to.
"Very well. Well... thank you for everything. Now, if you'll excuse me." He briskly cut himself an exit and strode down the hall towards where Maya swayed from side to side waiting for him.
"Thank you for waiting." He greeted her with a slight bow. "Shall we?"
"Yep, let's be off." Maya fell into step with him. "Also, I brought you something. I know you're normally a tea drinker, but I thought today you might like a boost of energy, so I got you a coffee. I didn't figure you'd want anything in it, so it's plain jane, no nonsense, 'just the facts, ma'am' coffee."
Edgeworth's eyebrows lifted when she handed him the coffee cup.
It was surprisingly light.
"And before you ask, don't worry, it's safe." She added with a wink as he took off the lid and peered inside. "I taste-tested it for you and everything."
"Is that why it's half empty?" Edgeworth regarded her through half-lidded eyes.
"You mean half full?"
"Yes. That."
"Well, I, er, might've gotten a little thirsty on the way here and had a couple little... sips, just to make sure it was safe… and tasty."
Edgeworth sighed. Despite her older years, some things never really changed.
"What? I got a large. It's like two smalls, but cheaper. Also, it's bundled into one cup, so that's saving the environment on top of everything else. See, I'm just thinking of the trees. Think of the trees, Mr. Edgeworth!"
"Oh, I'm thinking of the trees, alright. Specifically, climbing up one."
"Hey, I was just thinking of saving the environment and checking out anything you might ingest beforehand to make sure it was safe because you said you wanted to be more vigilant. In fact, I might have to taste it again later, just to make sure it's still safe. Besides, trees need love too. C'mon, give trees a chance-"
The doors swung shut, cutting off their conversation from the rest of the hospital, but Dr. Bolysm didn't bother moving from where she'd stood in the hall while watching them.
"Are they gone?" Phil poked his head out of another patient's room. "I heard the chatter die down, so-"
"Mmhm, they just left." Dr. Bolysm leaned against the door. "She really is a sweet girl, that one. A bit strange, but very sweet. I'm not too sure about the other one, though. He's a harder one to read. He's likely a decent person, but one has to look past all the onion layers to see it. He's also got a big stick shoved right up his-"
"Do you think he suspects anything?" Phil looked uneasily towards the double doors.
"No, I don't think so. Anyway, come along, Phil." The doctor clapped her hands together and beckoned him to follow. "I'm going to need your eyes on this one."
"Where are we going?" asked Phil.
"We've got an intern to find. I want to have a word with her about her needlework."
(A/N- Hey guys. Just a quick little note. I was having some issues with the document uploader- I don't really know why, but for some odd reason, the document uploader scripted all of indentations and formatting and ended up doubling the word count- and while I'm pretty sure I got the issue fixed, if it doesn't come up the way it should in the fic, please tell me ASAP so I can get it dealt with. I ended up having to put the whole thing into plain text in order to get it to load properly, which in turn ripped out all my italics and detailing so I had to go in and manually reapply them, but I think the issue got taken care of. Anyway, thank you for reading and please review!)