Wasted Love

Rating: M - You guys know why.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, except for my own thoughts, two dogs and too many books.

This chapter was beta'ded by the sweet SunFlowerFran, but English is not my first language - please, keep that in mind.

A/N: Hello! The world has completely changed since I last posted, but I hope you guys are safe and sound, and that this update can bring a little joy to your day. This is our biggest chapter to date, and the last one before the cat's out of the bag.

Thank you very much for the support!

The machine behind the bed biped, and the sound echoed in the silence of the room.

I opened my eyes slowly, reluctant to thoroughly waking up; but the hospital's clear curtains were not made to diminish the light, and I've been fighting to stay asleep since the sun came up.

I felt safe – something I haven't felt in years -, and this feeling stood out from everything else: from the way the sunlight spread in this strange room, from Edward's arms around me and the movement of his chest underneath my hands; there was this strong, heartwarming feeling of being home and I didn't want to let it go.

I nuzzled his chest, feeling his grip around me tighten. If I kept my eyes shut, I could almost pretend that instead of this hospital, we were waking up together in our bed on a lazy Sunday … but the machine biped once again and Edward stirred; this time instead of the scent of the fresh T-shirt Carlisle had brought, all I felt was the antiseptic smell of the sheet around us.

I opened my eyes promptly. Apparently, I couldn't escape from the reality, no matter how hard I tried.

I watched Edward, deeply asleep, lips slightly open; his head was turned away from me, even though his arms were bringing me closer - and I tried hard not to take that as a metaphor for his unconscious feelings.

Untangling myself, I stepped out of bed feeling my body complain. The bed was not made for both of us, and I was too afraid to hurt Edward to relax.

Carlisle was nowhere to be seen, even though he was still here yesterday when I fell asleep; keeping him at home while Edward was still admitted was becoming a full-time job, so Emmett and I just let it go.

I tiptoed my way to the suite bathroom to freshen up.

Today was going to be a busy one, and hopefully, we would find out enough about Edward's life to clear things up a bit – and that both relieved and terrified me.

When I headed back, I was met by Carlisle, reading on the couch. He looked up, smiling when I walked in.

"Hey, I brought coffee."

"Good morning." I grinned, accepting gladly the cup he handed me. "You couldn't sleep?"

"I did for a couple of hours." He shrugged. "I went down to grab a bite and took the chance to go through Edward's chart once again, trying to find something we could've missed."

Carlisle didn't elaborate, but his tone was sober enough for me to know he couldn't find anything, and how much that disturbed him.

"Do you ever turn the doctor off?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"The doctor, I can; the dad, hardly." He smiled apologetically. "Esme called. She is on her way," He said, glancing at his watch. "And Emmet, is probably meeting Jenks by now, so we should head back to Edward's place as soon as possible."

After we met with Alice and Jasper, Emmett called Jenks - Edward's lawyer - to fill him in on Edward's situation and ask for his help; God knew we could use every little bit of help possible. They made plans to meet at Edward's office this morning, and Emm texted Jasper so he could be at New Tech to assist them. In the meantime, Carlisle and I were to check the apartment, where they would meet us later.

With our plans made, we joined Edward and Carlisle in his room, trying to leave tomorrow's problems for tomorrow - but tomorrow was here, and the whole world seemed to be moving way quicker than I expected.

I hugged myself, just nodding while Carlisle spoke, unable to say anything over the wave of anxiety that fluttered through me. My eyes traveled absently to Edward.

"Things are going to work out, Bella," Carlisle said quietly, regaining my attention.

I tried to convey all the resilience I didn't have, before looking back at him. "You know what? Maybe they won't, and that's okay too."

It was Carlisle's time to be silent, so he just patted my knee lightly before getting up.

"I'm going to wait for my wife in the lobby, okay? Meet me downstairs when you're ready to go."

As he saw himself out, and I walked closer to Edward's bed, running my fingers over his forehead, smiling when he mumbled my name – seemed that he couldn't leave me alone even in his dreams.

It has been roughly forty-eight hours since my life had been turned upside down once again by this man. Every doubt I so carefully been feeding over the last years had been thrown into the wind; every stone I used to build a wall around myself, seemed to have vanished in front of what we were living now.

We have been given something I didn't think existed: a second chance.

When I walked away from Edward, after months of dancing around the decision, I had no intention of ever looking back; I needed to walk away while I still could, because I knew I loved him enough to stay the rest of my life unhappy, just to stay by his side, so I needed to act before I could become comfortable with what we had - if anything, he deserved more than that.

I was so deep down that hole that I couldn't see an escape from my sorrow - all I could see was how sad he looked every time we were together.

I tried to bring us back to a place where we could at least talk to each other without the guilty and the grief sucking every ounce of air in the room … But I was too far gone, as he was too. In the end, every time I tried to reach out, I ended up just pushing him further.

The only way to move on was walking away; the only way of doing that was not looking back.

So no, not even for a moment, had I allowed myself to believe that was something big enough to trump all our problems like this - but boy, I've been proven wrong, and I felt both stupid and optimistic, all at once. We had a second chance to prove that what happened between us could bring us closer rather than farther apart.

I was completely aware of how much it could hurt, but even if it ended badly, how could I not take it? How could I choose to be empty and alone again when there was even the slightest chance of… something more with Edward?

It was a shot in the dark, but darkness was all I knew when I was away from him.

Esme knocked on the door, half an hour after Carlisle left to meet her; I was showered, dressed, and ready to go.

Now that I had come to terms of our near future, I was anxious to just get on with it; for me, making decisions was usually harder than following through with them.

"Come in," I greeted as she appeared on the door.

"Good morning," She entered the room, and I smiled, relieved we were still in good terms. "How was the night?"

"It was okay," I gave her space to get closer to Edward. "He slept through it, unlike your husband."

"I'm surprised he hasn't found something to do in the E.R. yet." She smirked, rolling her eyes. "I pulled up at the same time as Charlie. I left them chatting and waiting for you in the lobby."

"My dad's here?" I exclaimed, taken by surprise. "I wasn't expecting him until later."

"He is," She smiled, pulling the chair closer to the bed after checking on her son. "And we are very thankful; you make sure to tell him that."

"I will," I nodded, gathering my phone and driver's license before looking up at her again. "He loves Edward very much."

"I know." She smiled thoughtfully, giving me a last glance before opening her book.

Taking that as a goodbye, I made my way downstairs.

I had a message from Emmett about the meeting with Jenks, one from Angela assuring things were going fine at the office, and a lost call from Charlie. The doors opened into the lobby, and my eyes ran through the few people scattered around until I found Carlisle, chatting with a well-known pair of brown eyes.

"Dad!" I shouted, watching Charlie listen attentively to what Carlisle said. He turned around just in time to catch me when I threw myself in his arms.

"Hey, kid!" He greeted, hugging me back as best he could with my arms around him. I welcomed the familiar scent of wood, coffee, and Charlie. Suddenly, I felt like the scared child I've been trying so hard to keep hidden for the last days. "Oh, Bells." He murmured, as I sobbed in his arms. "It's okay."

I wept, holding my father for dear life in the middle of the lobby, as the tension left my body in streams of tears.

"I'm so glad you're here, Dad," I mumbled, trying to calm myself.

"Where else could I be?" He replied, pulling my face up and wiping my cheeks. "How are you?"

"I'm better now." I smiled, feeling indeed so much better now that he was here. "How are you?"

"I'm happy to be out of that car." He said simply, kissing my forehead. "How's Edward?"

"Physically, he's recovering." I shrugged, being honest and succinct, as Charlie liked. "He's calm, but he knows something is wrong."

"Of course, he knows, he's always been too smart for his own good." Charlie huffed, looking down.

"Yes," Carlisle agreed. "We don't have much time. We need to get as much information as possible today and make the best of it with what we find out from Jenks."

"Carlisle was telling me about your plans," Charlie said. "He invited me to tag along."

"That's great, Dad." I hugged him again, realizing how much I missed him. "Thank you for being here, really."

"Really, Chief." Carlisle echoed my words, patting Charlie on the shoulder. "Thank you."

He sounded earnest, and I knew he was thanking my father for more than just being here; he was thanking Charlie for treating Edward like family. Just as we were not the only ones hurt by our separation, we also were not the only ones getting a second chance – and it would do me good to remember that.

Carlisle drove ahead, while I followed him alongside Charlie in his truck.

I was happy to have a few moments alone with my father; I took the chance of telling the whole story, from Friday when I got the call, until yesterday when we finally got a diagnosis from the doctors.

Charlie was a man of few words, and I knew him better than to expect many from him until he had all the facts.

"That's a lot of shit to deal with, Bells." He murmured quietly while we made our way through the light traffic of the morning. "And I've seen you go through hell and back for that boy. Are you sure up to doing it again?"

I thought carefully about his question.

"To be honest, Dad … I don't know." I shrugged, staring to my feet. "I'm aware of how hurt I could get, getting into this, but … it doesn't feel like I have much of a choice. I cannot walk away – I love him. Even more now if that's possible."

Charlie turned off the engine, and I looked up, realizing we were already out of the traffic, parking behind Carlisle's Mercedes on a quiet street.

"Your marriage didn't end because there was no love, kid, I'll give you that." He unbuckled his seatbelt, turning slightly so we could look at each other. "And being in love is great, life-changing ... But it takes more than love, Bella. It takes courage, patience, honesty - even more now if that's possible."

Turning my words on me and letting me deal with them, Charlie climbed out of his truck, waiting for me to join him on the sidewalk.

Eric York was all smiles and questions.

He was the administrator of Edward's building, and had been designated to accompany us up to his floor - and he did it while fishing for information about what was happening, all the way.

"I'll be more than happy to show you around, Dr. Cullen." He insisted, earning an eye roll from my less than patient father. "I've only met Mr. Cullen a few times but..."

"That won't be necessary, Mr. York." Carlisle smiled indulgently, dodging his inquiry easily, and dismissing him when we arrived at Edward's floor. "This is a sensible situation, and we prefer to deal with it in privacy. I'm sure you'll understand."

He thanked him, waiting for Mr. York to get back into the elevator before approaching the apartment.

1107.

I stared at the golden numbers encrusted on the door, while I waited for Carlisle to open it; my mind was desperately playing the one million different lives that Edward could have lived inside this door.

Carlisle walked in first, leaving me to follow him.

The light from the morning invaded the foyer, which was simple; the only sign of Edward was the pair of sneakers beside the door.

I walked further into the small living room, noticing the reason behind all the brightness - the three big windows that adorned the top half of the wall didn't have blinds. To be fair, there wasn't any other furniture either. No couch, table, or chairs; this room was completely empty except for the cardboard boxes piled in the corner … and the piano right beside them.

I didn't know what to expect, but it wasn't this - my tension had left the building, lost in the surprise of walking into an apartment that barely looked inhabited.

I walked straight to the dark piano, touching the closed lid, feeling my heart in my throat. For all I knew, Edward hasn't played since he was a teen - I have never heard him play anything.

Opening it, I ran hands over the keys, the sound resounding around me. The piano looked immaculate and untouched, like everything else.

"I didn't know Edward played," Charlie stated, bringing me back.

"He did when he was young," I mumbled back, still impacted by the first piece of information about this life I wasn't a part of.

"Why don't you go ahead, kid?" He suggested, touching my shoulder after a minute. "I'll wait for you here. Take your time."

Nodding, I moved automatically, walking through an equally empty hallway. Everything looked white and impersonal.

Carlisle was standing in the middle of the room to my right, and I stopped under the threshold, taking in the space. It was a bedroom, probably Edward's, and the only thing adorning the room was a clothes rack, and a matching side table by the bed.

I walked in, running my hand over the dark gray comforter, trying, and failing to picture Edward sleeping here. The sunlight was slightly less bright than the living room, but still too much, even in the early morning.

"How can he sleep with this much light?" I wondered out loud.

"I asked myself the same thing." He murmured, looking around. "I wonder how much time he spent here at all. Mr. York said he's been renting the place for a year, but it looks like..."

"… He just moved in." I finished his sentence, with Jasper's words echoing in my mind.

He seemed to have everything and nothing at the same time.

While Carlisle went through the contents of the bedside table, I walked past him to the closed doors across the room; one led to a small bathroom, and the other to a closet, surprisingly full: there were cardboard boxes as far as I could see inside.

"Carlisle," I said, motioning to the pile of boxes.

"Well, he didn't unpack much, did he?" He huffed, getting closer.

The shock I felt at first, for the lack of life in Edward's place, was slowly morphing into a deep sense of sadness; not only about how empty his life seemed but also about how much it resembled my own.

"You know," I started, looking anywhere but at my father-in-law's face. "It took me years to unpack, even though I took almost nothing with me when I left. The few things I did, stay packed for years in my living room."

"It makes it real." He replied softly after a second. "Unpacking, making a new home ... It makes everything real."

"It does." I agreed, stepping away from both the closet and my unpleasant memories. "What are we going to do with all that?"

"Nothing." Carlisle shrugged. "We will go through it at some point if necessary, but as they are sealed, I think he hardly needs whatever is there on a daily basis, so it doesn't matter now."

Just talking about going through Edward's stuff without him felt weird.

I didn't know what to say, but Carlisle beat me to it. "Take a look at what I found."

He had emptied the content of Edward's bedside table and found a stack of documents, a spare set of keys, a phone charger, and a box.

I went for the documents, running my hands over his elegant handwriting in the signature. "It's definitely his room," I said, putting it down.

Inside the box, besides a load of cash clipped together, was his driver's license, credit cards, checkbook ... and the Montblanc his parents gave him on our wedding day. I reached for it, holding it close to me.

"It's so weird to think about him having this whole life we're not a part of." Carlisle confided. "Did you notice the piano? I haven't seen him play since he was seventeen."

"I never saw him play at all." I offered.

"He was good, but he never really loved it, and once Esme stopped insisting, he let it go. You know Edward; he could never put his mind where his heart isn't." Carlisle spoke, lost in the past for a moment. "This is why, it makes no sense to me that he has one now."

I observed my father-in-law, looking all shades of nostalgic.

If there was one thing I've been learning in the past couple of days, was how much our actions, Edward's, and mine, had affected the people around us - and that touched me as much as having my husband back in my life.

"I can't imagine how much you missed him," I stated, speaking from my heart rather than my mouth.

"More than anything," Carlisle replied without missing a beat, his eyes the saddest I've ever seen.

Together, Carlisle and I explored the rest of the apartment.

There were three more doors alongside the hallway - a spare room besides Edward's bedroom and a social bathroom, both empty, and in the furthest door, his office.

"Hey guys," I heard Emmett's voice as he walked toward us. He gestured to the middle-age man accompanying him as they got closer. "Bella, this is Jason Jenks, Edward's lawyer. Jason, this Bella."

"Mrs. Cullen," He shook my hand with a smile. "It's nice to finally put a face to the name."

What?

Emmett carried on with the greetings before I could ask what Mr. Jenks meant.

"And this is my father, Carlisle."

"Thank you for coming Mr. Jenks." Carlisle acknowledged.

"Of course, Edward it's a great man," He replied, and I smiled, mindful of the fact that was the second time someone described Edward in these terms in the past twenty-four hours. "I was very sorry to hear about his accident."

"Well, thankfully, the worst is past us." Carlisle smiled politely, before turning his attention to Emm. "Did you find anything helpful?"

"The company is still under transition, so, as we thought, there wasn't much to see there." Emmet shrugged. "Jasper will take over Edward's projects for now, and Mr. Jenks has been dealing with the related paperwork before this, anyway." He stated. "There was nothing personal there; Alice believes his laptop is here."

"Probably there," I pointed to the open door. "We've just reached his office."

"I found this in his room," Carlisle extended the box containing Edward's belongings. "There's a closet full of boxes, but they're all sealed. Also," He handled the documents to Mr. Jenks. "We found what looks like a buyer's contract. I'm not sure. Would you mind taking a look?"

"Please," Jenks got a hold of the papers. "Excuse me." He walked back to the living room, leaving the three of us to go to the office.

"Everything here is so..." Emmett shook his head, looking down. I stared at him, lost, and unable to put the emptiness of this place into words.

"Let's go ahead," Carlisle encouraged us, opening the door.

This was a room that looked like it got used.

The walls were painted in a light gray that matched the dark blue tone from the blinds; facing the windows, there was a beautiful Cherrywood table, which was a mess of papers, pens, water bottles, and too many gadgets.

"Look at this thing." Emmet bellowed, staring at the monstrosity that resembled a computer - it had at least three screens that were connected to a laptop, to an iPad … and I had no idea how to even turn it on.

While Emmett gave it a go, I started to sort through the many papers over the table; contracts, bank statements, project drafts - too many numbers, nothing personal.

"At least now we know where he spent his time." Carlisle huffed, going through the mess over the couch. "Do you think he was sleeping in here?"

He held an old blanket up; one I immediately recognize. I walked to him, taking the tartan blanket in my hands. We bought it during a trip to Scotland; God knows why we thought it was a good idea to drag a blanket for the last leg of our trip, but it turns out, it was worth it - we loved it so much that it used to be dragged all around the house: from the bedroom to the couch, from the couch to the porch … the blue and black of the fabric had certainly seen better times but was still as soft as I remembered.

I haven't thought about it in years - it was a small but painful reminder of the memories we had built together, and once again, it seemed like everything came back to that.

"Maybe," I answered honestly. I had lost count of how many nights Edward had spent in his office. "It wouldn't be the first time."

"I'm sorry, but" Emmett sighed frustrated, still fighting against Edward's computer. "This all seems so pointless. We've spent all morning going through his life and what have we found? We have no ans…" Before he could end his sentence, the sound of the computer coming to life resonated across the room. "Holy shit!"

The sound of the chair squeaking across the wood floor was louder than his voice, and Carlisle was by his side in a second.

I was frozen in place as they both stared at the multiple screens in astonishment.

"I guess this count as an answer." Carlisle scoffed, and my curiosity won over my fear.

"What is it?" I asked.

Carlisle hesitated for a moment before stating simply.

"You."

I went around the table, still holding the blanket between my hands, and as Carlisle said, there I was - everywhere.

There were pictures of me in the background of every screen that glowed back at us. Me - on our honeymoon in Sicily, smiling at Edward in that blue dress he loved, and cooking for him in our old apartment; me on our wedding day, laughing of Emmett's speech with my head thrown back … and twenty weeks far along, cradling my growing bump at the beach and grinning at my husband behind the camera.

It felt like the air had been pulled away from my body.

I gasped, my hands flying to my mouth, and the blanket fell at my feet. I took a step back, getting caught in the cables across the floor and unplugging everything at once.

The screens went dark while I felt Carlisle arms catching me.

"Are you okay?" He asked, putting me upright, and I just shook my head without meeting his eyes.

"I…" I tried to communicate, but words failed me.

Stepping back, I walked away from the room and from Carlisle and Emmett.

Avoiding Mr. Jenks and Charlie in the living room, I took a left turn and stepped into the kitchen.

There wasn't much to see here, but all I needed was some space.

I leaned on the sink, resting my head in my hands, breathing in and out and trying to stop my heart from running out my chest; my eyes pricked with tears.

Turning the tap on, I let the water run through my wrists.

What did those pictures mean? I had made my mind believe that all Edward wanted was to forget about us - Goldie and I - and it strongly refused to believe in anything different.

But, if he was trying to forget, why have such reminders of us?

I walked away, believing that he could be free ... But was that even a choice I could make for him?

I wasn't sure of that anymore.

To be honest, I wasn't sure about many things I thought I was - and that scared me more than the little spark of hope growing inside my heart, saying that we could go anywhere.

Emmett came to find me a few minutes after I stormed out.

"Hey," He muttered, walking in. "How are you."

I waited a second to turn around, so I could reply steadily. "I'm fine, Emm. You guys ready to go?" He nodded. "I just want to get Edward a change of clothes, and I'm ready too."

"Bells, about the…"

"Emm, don't." I raised my hand, repeating the plead I made when we left Dr. Tanner's office for the first time. "I knew what I was getting myself into when I came here, it's just hard."

"Okay." Emmett dropped the subject.

We joined Charlie, Carlisle, and Mr. Jenks around Edward's piano; they had the papers sorted over the lid while Jenks explained some of them to my father-in-law; he wanted to go through everything they found before heading back to the hospital.

"… I'm not sure of what this is about, but someone from our team certainly will. As I explained to Emmett," He gestured at him. "Edward has been our client, exclusively, for almost three years now. At first, he contacted us to deal with the selling of his part of the company to Mr. Black, but since then, we've been dealing with pretty much anything legally binding to him, professional or personal."

"I'm sure Emmett has told you what we've been dealing with about Edward, so anything you can tell will be helpful."

Mr. Jenks grimaced.

"Well, the thing is Dr. Cullen: besides being a very accomplished young man, your son is also a very private one. I always knew what I needed to know, but that was it. He mentioned his family casually; I never knew about any kind of conflict, apart from his separation from Mrs. Cullen. He was always polite, professional, and succinct."

"He talked about me?" I spoke, taking my chances. "You said before it was good to put a face to the name."

"He did, yes." He replied. "I knew you two were going through a separation. He asked to deal with some things such as the sale contract for his old apartment, your monthly payments…"

"What?" Emmet and I said at the same time.

"Monthly payments, as in alimony…?" Jenks continued, confused. "Even though Mr. Cullen has been adamant about not pursuing a divorce, he wanted to make sure Mrs. Cullen was well taken care of."

"I didn't know anything about this." I declared, taken aback. "No contact was ever made with me."

"Yes, he insisted you shouldn't be bothered, but the account is still active." Opening his case, Mr. Jenks searched and retrieved a document, resting it in front of me. "Here," He went through the numbers, pointing to the balance stated under my name.

"This is our joint account," I mumbled, noticing the bank name, still dumbfounded. "I haven't used it since…" I trailed off, almost used to having this permanent lump in my throat by now.

"Well, it is there, Mrs. Cullen." Mr. Jenks stated when I didn't say anything. "I'm having my team gather any information you may need, but in the meantime…"

He continued, but his voice was muffled in the background as I stared at the paper in my hands, stunned at the ridiculous amount of money Edward thought I needed to live, and speechless at his never-ending, always present, and not at all surprising, thoughtfulness.

If anything, that was Edward - and he had been taking care of me since the moment we met.

It was easier to think he hated me, or that he didn't care at all; easier than dealing with the fact that during all this time, he had been feeling as lost and alone as me.

Charlie and I left the apartment ahead of Carlisle and Emmett. My head was still in a fog of sadness and confusion as we drove back to the hospital in silence; if anyone could understand the need for some time to think, it was my dad.

Esme greeted me when I walked into the room. Edward was sound asleep.

"How was it?" She asked, and I shrugged, trying to find the words to convey the lonely glimpse we had of Edward's life.

"It was … Empty." I sighed, putting down Edward's duffle bag, and sitting beside her on the couch. "Most of his things are still in boxes, and it looks like he spent a lot of time in the office."

"Well, he always worked too hard; I didn't think that would change." Esme mused.

"I didn't know what to expect, to be honest," I confessed, lost.

"I don't think any of us knew what to expect." She agreed. "He changed a lot. The last time I saw him, he just didn't look like himself at all."

"I know how that feels." Charlie spoked from the door, finally stepping in.

His eyes went from us to Edward, and he sighed, heartbroken.

"Oh, boy," He said, his hand over his heart. "What the hell were you thinking?"

There were only a handful of times I got to see my stern father get emotional as he looked right now, standing at the foot of Edward's bed.

"We've asked ourselves the same things for the last days, Charlie," Esme replied, sad.

"How was he?" I asked.

"He was okay, still slept for a couple hours after you left." She explained. "Dr. Jane stopped by, accompanied by the physiotherapist; they got Edward to sit, which was great, but exhausting."

Carlisle and Emmett arrived with fresh coffee and food, while Esme was telling us more about the doctor's visit; Carlisle was really bummed he lost the first physiotherapy session - the doctor, though, probably saved himself from answering a hundred different questions.

We all ate and talked, trying to resume our morning, and in the end, one thing was clear - none of us wanted to drag this day out longer than necessary.

"I think it would be nice to talk with Dr. Tanner again before doing anything." Emmett reasoned. "She's supposed to refer a psychologist, and I think it's wise to have our ducks in a row."

"We can stop by her office tomorrow morning." Carlisle agreed, and I felt my heart skip a beat.

Our time was ending.

"Hey," Edward's gruff voice interrupted our conversation, and we all looked over to him.

"Hey, you," I grinned, getting up closer. "How are you feeling?"

"A little sore, but fine." He answered, honestly. "Where have you been?"

"I went home to get some things, and then I decided to wait for Charlie downstairs."

I helped him to get comfortable before bending down to kiss him.

"Where's Charlie?" Edward asked, and Charlie cleared his throat.

"Right here, son." He muttered, walking closer to the bed. "How are you?"

"I'm good, Chief." Edward smiled, extending his hand. "It won't happen again."

A moment passed between the two of them, before Charlie stepped closer, getting a hold of Edward's hand.

"Good." And even though I got the feeling he wanted to say more, Charlie left it at that. "So, did anyone take that deathtrap away from you? If not, I'm doing it."

"Oh, trust me," I stated as Edward's family laughed. "It's gone, Dad."

"Good girl," Charlie grinned, kissing my head before taking his seat beside Edward's bed.

As the evening went on, our family said their goodbyes.

I didn't want to stay away from Edward after everything that went down today, so Charlie decided to pick up Angela at Swan's Bride and spent the night at our place in Portland. Emmett had left after lunch; he could skip work, but Rose needed his presence at this stage of her pregnancy.

Carlisle and Esme were the only ones left, but after some heavy coercion, he finally agreed to go home with Esme for the night.

I walked them to the elevators.

"Bella, I don't need to go," He pleaded, going over his phone numbers once again. "I mean, we just got back."

"You didn't just get back, darling." Esme helped me. "You spent the last two nights here, on a chair, then went out for a couple of hours, and came back."

"That's true." I agreed, and Carlisle looked at me heartbroken. "Carlisle, you're welcome to stay if you want to … but it's not necessary." I reasoned. "I'll be right beside Edward, and if anything happens, I'll call you immediately. But I think it's smarter for all of us to be well-rested, as you so wisely pointed out yesterday."

My father-in-law was more head than heart - just like his son - and the best way of defeating him was using his own words as a reminder.

Carlisle smirked at me. "When did you learn to deal so well with the Cullen men?"

"I'm a natural." I grinned, kissing his cheek when the elevator arrived at our floor.

"We'll be here in the morning, Bella," Esme said, gently pushing her husband inside.

I walked back to Edward's room with a migraine that was becoming as usual as everything else.

He was waiting, eyes following me as I walked around the room, taking off my shoes and jacket. It had been an exhausting day to say at least, but I was happy to have a few moments alone with Edward.

I pulled the blanket from inside the bag, hesitating for a moment before walking back to him. "I brought you something," I confessed, resting the blanket over the bed.

"Damn," He smiled widely. "This looks so much older than I remember."

"That's exactly what I thought, too." I beamed - simply glad he remembered it at all. "But I also thought you would appreciate this little piece of home away from home."

I unfolded the blanket over the hospital's sheet, before climbing into bed beside him.

"I do," He wrapped his arms around me, kissing my hair. "I love it."

I got lost in the sensation of the safety I have craved so much all day; enjoying the electric current that ran through me every time his fingers touched the exposed skin on my back.

I knew that this weightless time was coming to an end, so I decided to bask in the light of it as long as I could. I was cherishing every minute, now more than ever.

We lay quietly for a while.

"I have this feeling…" He whispered. "… Like I'm waking up from a dream. As if some things were real, and some were not."

"What do you mean?" I inquired, looking up from my nook in his arms.

"I don't know," He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "It feels like I'm living an alternate reality instead of our real life."

I was astounded at how on point his feelings were.

"I feel like that too. It is a different reality here in this hospital." I reassured him. "But it won't be for long, baby. We're going to go home soon, and things will feel normal again."

That last sentence was meant to reassure me, too.

"I hope so," He mumbled, his voice tired. "I have never slept so much and so badly, at the same time. I don't know if it's the meds, but I've had the weirdest, vivid dreams."

"Tell me about them," I asked, laying my head beside his on the pillow.

He stayed in silence for a minute.

"First they were mostly about the accident, just like that day," He started, meaning the day the doctors performed the last exams on him. "Flashes, sounds … I'm not sure if they were memories or just a dream, but it felt fucking real." Edward closed his eyes, anguished. "I've don't think I've ever been more scared than when I woke up from that dream thinking you were there with me."

The emotions I had – barely kept at bay since I got here this morning, erupted from my chest all at once when he opened his eyes again, and I realize they were filled with tears. I sobbed, holding his face for dear life between my hands and feeling his tears under my fingers.

"Not even when I opened my eyes in the ITU, and I had no idea what the fuck was going on." He went on. "The thought that you were there somewhere, alone and hurt in the dark…"

"But I was not, Edward." I rushed, pulling his face to mine, pressing our foreheads together. "I'm here, and I'm not hurt. Please, don't do this to yourself."

"I know, I know." He nodded as I wept so close to his face. "I'm just feeling more like myself again, and things are getting clearer and more confusing at the same time."

"It's okay," I kissed him lightly. "I get it, but I don't want you worked up like that for nothing. Look at me," He obliged me, looking me in the eyes. "I'm here."

"You are," Edward whispered in awe. "Thank God." His lips crashed into mine, and he kissed me again and again as if his life depended on it.

I stared at the ceiling, awake for hours after he fell asleep, replaying this day over and over in my head.

About three things, I was absolutely positive.

First, Edward's life was as empty as mine.

Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how dominate that part might be - that couldn't forget us, no matter how much he tried.

…And third, I was still unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.