TWENTY-NINE
Thursday, 9 October 1944
Tuesday night, Draco had tossed and turned in his sleep. Something wasn't quite right with Granger and as mad as he was at her, seeing her like that made him rethink his anger. She was just as terrified of Riddle as he was and instead of approaching her like the victim she probably was, he had acted out of jealousy. There was no way Granger would ever look at Riddle that way. Even if he was charming and appeared human now, he was still a monster; one that hated people like her.
If something was going on between them, it would be Riddle's doing. Granger would never willingly do anything with Riddle and it made Draco sick to his stomach when he remembered that he had thought that for a moment. That if something had happened, he had blamed her instead of being there to protect her.
The more he thought about it, the more like an asshole he felt. After waking up from the at dream in the wee hours of Monday morning, he had mulled it over and wondered more than once if Riddle hadn't fucked with him and placed that dream himself. One of the Dark Lord's favorite tactics was to instill fear and horror by hallucinations. He had no reason to believe that Riddle wasn't doing the same to her.
But then she had approached him Tuesday night with that tone of voice that always grated on his every nerve and he snapped. He had seen the fear in her eyes when he turned his gaze on her; the same one he used when he called her Mudblood and spat other demeaning comments her way. He had regretted it instantly, hadn't meant to use that look in the first place, but by then he was too ashamed to speak to her so he delayed.
When he finally did approach her, she was a right mess. He could see that. And he was more of an idiot for not leaving the common room to speak in private. She had been trembling in fear just speaking to him, but he had thought it was anger and didn't realize until it was too late.
And like always, he was too much of a coward to go after her.
Wednesday she seemed to avoid him in class as much as he had avoided her the previous days. It was Thursday after Defense that he watched her head in a direction that wasn't the library and decided to follow her. He watched as she approached the Headmaster's office and ascended the stairs after saying the password.
He waited for her, willing to skip Ancient Runes until he had talked to her. It wasn't long before she came back down and he swallowed hard at the fact that she seemed more distraught than when she had gone into the office.
"Granger?" he called after her when she took off again.
She halted and whirled around to stare at him. "What do you want?" she snapped.
"To talk. Something's bothering you and-"
She snorted and adjusted the strap on her shoulder. "The only thing currently bothering me is you."
His jaw clenched as they stared each other down. On instinct, he took a step forward to reach for her, only to stop when she flinched and stepped back.
"Just… Leave me alone, Malfoy," she whispered and then turned and ran.
He let her go as he formulated a plan to get her to talk to him. He knew he needed to apologize, but he couldn't help but think that it was too late for that. That he had completely messed up and pushed her too far away for an apology to do any good.
And it wasn't until Riddle approached him in their room before dinner that he realized it didn't matter how much he might have messed up. If Riddle had done something to her, she needed to talk to him before it got worse.
"Harmony has missed Astronomy both days this week. Has she said anything to you?" Riddle had asked.
Instead of exploding at Riddle, knowing it wouldn't do either of them any good, he played along. "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not really on her good side right now."
Riddle smirked. "Everyone with eyes has noticed the two of you are on the outs. Please, spare me the details, Draco. I only want to know if I will have to do all the work for our project after all. I was hoping she would be different from the rest."
It had taken every ounce of his will power to not rise to the bait. Instead, he shrugged. "I guess you'll find out tomorrow night if she shows up," he said and went back to his own assignment.
Friday, 10 October 1944
Friday morning he decided he had had enough. That he needed to stop being a coward and she needed to talk to him. She wasn't at breakfast in the Great Hall so he started off by taking his usual seat by her side in Transfiguration. She stiffened, but didn't so much as look his way only to bolt out of the classroom the moment the bell rang.
So he did the same thing in Charms. This time his presence earned him a few glances during class. And then he steered her to the Great Hall and made her eat a real lunch. By the time they started Potions, she had relaxed a little around him. After dinner, she had agreed to come with him to the Room of Requirement.
Once inside the replica of the Gryffindor common room, they stood behind the couch staring; mostly at the ground, but occasionally at each other. He swallowed his pride and spoke first, unable to take the silence any longer.
"I'm sorry."
"You should be," she replied immediately, her gaze snapping up from the floor. She folded her arms over her chest and popped her hip condescendingly. He braced himself for a tirade, knowing her deserved it. "But you were right."
He balked at her words and shook his head. "Come again?"
Before he could even truly bask in the glow of being right, no matter what it was that he was right about, she lashed out, landing a hefty punch to his left shoulder. He hissed and stepped back from her. He would never stop being surprised that her tiny wrists could inflict so much damage.
"Not about all of it," she said. She was never going to repeat that sentence ever again. It would only exist in his memory. "Especially not the part where you accused me of… Of… Of doing anything of that nature with Tom fucking Riddle!" she shrieked, landing another punch to his shoulder despite his efforts to get away from her.
"I know! Merlin, Granger! I'm fucking sorry!" he shouted, moving to the other side of the coffee table in front of the fireplace, putting it between them.
"I would never touch him willingly! In any capacity and it hurt that you would think otherwise."
That single word stuck in his mind and he let his anger at being used as a punching bag fade away. "Has he…" His throat constricted. "Touched you…unwillingly?"
The way the anger deflated from her and the fact that she cast her eyes down had his blood boiling with rage. Despite that she wouldn't meet his gaze, he watched her war with her thoughts, debating on what she should tell him. With each passing second, he fought the urge to leave her and seek out Riddle. He couldn't kill him, but he was ready to die trying.
He hadn't even realized that he had crossed the room until the floral scent of her hair filled his nose. He was worried that she would push him away, but sighed with relief when she returned his hold just as tightly.
"Tell me," he demanded.
Words fell from her lips immediately. At some point, they had sank to the floor, leaning against the back of the couch as she spoke. He held her tightly as she curled into his side while she told him about the few interactions she had previously held back on. He was relieved to know that there weren't as many as he thought and they were all recent. He was even more relieved that it was just bullying. Of course, hearing how he had roughed her up in the library that day and then how he had terrorized her on the night of the New Moon did nothing to quell his anger, but he told himself it could have been worse.
And it was unnerving to know that the Dark Lord had seen what he creates; things he shouldn't know until much later. Granger's mind was already a beacon to him and now she would be able to tell him the future. Even knowing nothing he discovered would be able to change the course of the future didn't keep Draco from thinking a slew of horrible what-ifs.
"Do you feel that there are any gaps in your memory?" he asked when she was done. "Any fleeting thoughts that you just can't seem to grab hold of?"
She shook her head immediately. "I can't explain it, but no. I don't think he's done that to me."
His jaw ticked. He had to ask again; despite the fact that she had just dumped a lot of information on his lap, he had to know. "And you're sure he's never forced himself on you in other ways?"
"Yes, Malfoy. I'm sure," she replied, shifting away from him.
He didn't believe her, but he wasn't going to force her to speak to him either. He would just make sure to do a better job at keeping her safe. When he saw her check the time with a flick of her wand, he declared, "I'm going with you to your observation. I won't let him be alone with you ever again."
She shook her head. "I already tried to drop Astronomy and hiding from him all week has been making him angry. I have to face him at some point and now that he doesn't have the option of telling you as a threat, I-"
"Dippet said no?" he interrupted. "Why?"
"Because it's already six weeks into term and it would be unfair to Riddle to lose a partner at this stage," she said bitterly. He wondered if she hadn't been quoting the headmaster directly. "And you can't come with me because in this time, Riddle is a star student. One word from him on the inappropriateness of me bringing my…" She paused and gave a little sigh. "I just don't want to deal with him being petty either."
He frowned at the way she shied around saying boyfriend. Whether it was just awkward to say given who they were or if she was still upset with him, it didn't sit well with him. "Fine, then I'll wait at the base of the tower."
"You don't have to," she said, pushing away from him completely in order to get to her feet.
"Do you not want me to?" he asked, getting up as well.
She sighed and tucked her hair behind her ears. "I don't care, Malfoy. I'm exhausted. I'm going to do what I need to for this stupid class, and then I'm going to bed. If you want to wait for me, fine, but I'm not expecting anything from you."
She turned to leave, but he was quick and caught her hand, pulling her back. His other hand rose to cup her cheek and he held her close while he stared down his nose at her. "You're still mad at me."
"I'm not," she said, her voice tight. She swallowed hard and her eyes went glassy with unshed tears. "I'm not," she repeated, her voice softening.
"Granger-"
"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you this sooner; I know I should have." She wet her lips. "I don't know that I would have been able to tell Harry or Ron either. I'm more mad at myself."
"You would have told them both right away and they would have found a way to destroy him despite what they knew of the future. Which, believe you me, I will be trying to circumvent myself." His lips pressed into a thin line for a moment. "I know part of you still struggles to trust me and I understand, but please don't shut me out."
"I won't," she promised.
He inclined his head and leaned in, expecting his lips to meet hers. He went completely still as she turned her head at the last second so that his lips connected with her cheek. He heard the sharp intake of breath from her and when he pulled back, she refused to meet his gaze.
"I have to go," she whispered, pulling away from him completely and leaving without another word. All he could do was stand there dumbfounded and watch as the door shut behind her, wondering if she hadn't just lied to him again.
Things really had been beginning to bottle up from not telling Malfoy and she was glad that she had finally told him. However, for as good as it felt to get things off of her chest, Hermione still felt guilty for holding stuff back. She hadn't told him about the time they had kissed in Hogsmeade and how Riddle had watched. She hadn't told him the full truth about her encounter with him in the Restricted Section or how bad it truly was that night on the Astronomy Tower.
She certainly hadn't told him about the hidden passage near the potion's classroom.
Even guilt didn't feel accurate for what she was feeling by holding these things back from him.
As Hermione walked the slowest she had ever done, she felt fear creep down her spine. She had avoided Riddle at all costs since the incident on Tuesday. She had felt his eyes on her when she couldn't. Which wasn't any different than usual, but the weight of gaze was suffocating now.
She had learned a great deal about Riddle from Dumbledore taking Harry down memory lane. She knew that he was incapable of love due to the circumstances of his birth. He had told her that he had no interest in carnal pleasures; had been disappointed when alluded to her engaging in that way with Malfoy. Whether he had ever given in to his own impulses, she wasn't completely sure.
She shuddered at the entrance of the Astronomy Tower as she recalled just how aroused he had been. There was no mistaking the feel of it when it had been pressed against her.
She wondered what had made him stop. If it was the fact that she had called out Malfoy's name or that he had snapped out of his lustful daze long enough to control himself again.
Either way, she wasn't going to let it happen again. She just had to figure out a way to get rid of her book with Malfoy or establish a new link without telling him why.
And as she stepped onto the observation deck, coming face-to-face with Riddle, she berated herself for the hundredth time that week in not realizing that it hadn't been Malfoy. Riddle was taller. Their hair was different lengths. They smelled different too. Malfoy reminded her of a chilly evening; of sitting in front of a bonfire in an apple orchard. Riddle was the crisp scent of fresh snow after a storm in the dead of night.
"I thought I would have to finish this report on my own," he said, turning back to the telescope he had looked up from upon her entry.
"If I had gotten my way with Dippet, you would have had to."
He didn't even turn back to her. "Yes, I was told you tried to drop Astronomy. I was asked if everything was alright between us. The headmaster was very concerned about what could have frightened you so."
"I didn't say anything," she replied, her voice weak. Fear was beginning to settle in. She hadn't realized that it would have gotten back to him. Her mind began to run rampant with all the ways in which he could retaliate and she regretted telling Malfoy not to come with her.
He hummed his response and stepped away from the telescope to look at her again. His eyes were nearly black as they slowly raked down her body. When they rose to connect with hers again, she wrapped her arms around herself.
"How did you know about the book?" she asked.
"I saw Draco use it during your first week as well as you using it to speak to him in the library more than once. It was when I stumbled across your knowledge of my diary that I realized you stole my idea. Very clever."
She nodded and tucked her hands in to the bends of her arms to keep them from trembling more. "So was that your intention when you decided to play that card?"
His jaw clenched as at her words.
"Because I thought you didn't participate in those activities?"
His eyes darkened even further and his nostrils flared slightly.
Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. If she didn't know any better she would think he was afraid of her to some degree. "So was it the fact that I called out for Draco or that I made you lose control that you ran away?"
"I did not lose control," he said, his voice dark.
"I'm not yours to have, Riddle," she said, dropping her hands as they curled into fists at her side. A sudden rush of anger rose up, overpowering her fear, enabling her to step forward. "And if you ever touch me like that again, especially under the guise of Draco, I will go right to Dumbledore and spill every single one of your secrets."
"I could do anything I wish and make you forget it ever happened," he stated.
"I'll take my chances," she replied. "But I don't think you would do that."
"What makes you think that?" he asked, his brow lifting.
"Because you've had a few days to do so and I still remember."
He took a step forward and Hermione forced herself to stay put instead of cowering back. "I still could."
"I've already told Draco."
His smile was cold and it made her shiver. "You may have told him a few things, Miss Granger, but you did not tell him about that." He took another step. "If you had, there is no way he would have let you come here alone."
Hermione cast her eyes down, her anger giving way to fear again.
He was standing directly in front of her by the time she exhaled again. He grasped her chin in his hands and yanked her head back up so he could see her eyes. "You will not say anything to Dumbledore. You will tell Draco what he needs to know about our time alone, Hermione, and nothing more. You know things about me; things that I have shared with no one. Things that I have yet to even accomplish. You will tell me everything I wish to know or you will regret it."
Her eyes widened at his threats.
"And because I have seen enough of your Gryffindor martyrdom, let me be very clear. Any pain I inflict will be on Draco Malfoy, not you. I sense traces of my magic on him as well and even more so there. I know he bears my mark on his arm. You and I both know what I can make him do to himself or to you and that he would be powerless to resist." He paused and she tried to pull away, but his fingers tightened on her jaw. "Have I made myself clear?"
"Y-yes," she whispered, her voice shaking with her fear.
She felt his magic washing over her in waves, the weight of it forcing her to her knees. She struggled and opened her mouth to scream, only to find that her voice had been silenced. He stared down at her calmly as he watched his magic try to tear her apart. His eyes flashed with the smallest trace of red around the edges, eager to see her suffer. Just when she thought she would succumb, the lingering Dark magic in her system reappeared. It formed a barrier around her and when it successfully removed his hold, it shoved and sent him stumbling back.
He watched her, his eyes raking over her completely in awe. "It seems that the traces of my magic are protecting you."
Hermione noticed it too as, instead of returning to Riddle, the traces returned to her, wrapping around her like a blanket before settling back into her skin. "I don't understand," she said, her throat raw despite only screaming into a void of silence.
He straightened himself and approached her carefully. When he stopped, he stretched a hand down to her and she only hesitated for a moment before she took it. "I have surrounded myself with people who are not afraid to turn towards Darkness, but I have never encountered anyone that the Darkness has responded to as it does to me."
A chill crept up her spine. Hearing appraisal about her affinity for the Darkness from the Dark Lord himself was not inspiring in the least. And as much as she wanted to shove him away and lash out with every spell she knew, her curiosity got the better of her. "Why?"
He inclined his head. "I would like us to figure that out together."
She shuddered again. Was this what she had to accomplish before she and Malfoy could return home? Was she supposed to become the Dark Lord's protégé? Was this why he hated Muggleborns and most importantly her? Did she let him teach her Dark magic and then have him discover her blood status on his own?
"I don't want to stain my core."
The smile faded from his lips and even turned into a frown at her statement. "Have you heard of Grey magic?" She sifted through her thoughts and then shook her head. "Grey magic is when a witch or wizard with an untainted core calls upon Dark magic with Light intentions. It is the intention of your spell that dictates the trace or stain left behind. Very hard to achieve, yet, something tells me you would be the one to figure it out."
"How does that even work?" she asked before she could stop herself.
His eyes darkened with desire, making her shiver. It made her aware of not only how close they were standing, but the fact that her hand was still in his. "I can show you that, Miss Granger, and so much more."
"What if I don't want to learn?"
"You will," he said, his thumb brushing at the back of her hand over and over again. "For the same reasons you will keep the nature of our encounters to yourself. And I suggest you do whatever it takes to keep both Draco and Dumbledore from getting suspicious. You and I will be meeting more frequently."
She swallowed hard. "I'm not a good liar. Draco will see right through me."
"That," he said, releasing her hand slowly. "Is not my problem. Goodnight, Miss Granger. I will see you at the Quidditch pitch tomorrow."
He packed up his things and vacated the tower, leaving her alone to process the dangerous game she had been forced to play.