So because I love you guys so much, two chapters in one go!
*waves pompoms*
Please read and review!
Okay, I changed it! I accidentally wrote Uchihia instead of Uchiha, so it's fixed.
Jiraya figures that if Uchiha were as cheerful and not uptight as Machiko was, he'd like the clan a lot better.
They had met in-unusual circumstances-outside the bathhouse.
Well, it was unusual in the sense Jiraya had been-researching when Machiko had burst through the undergrowth, screaming at the top of her lungs. She had passed him, the little child, running as fast as she could.
"SNAKE PEDO! AHHHHHAHHHHH!"
Jiraya had stared after her for a good minute, then went back to his-research.
Only to find that someone had gone over to investigate, and her scream had alerted people to him being there.
A certain someone, actually.
"JIRAYA!" Tsunade had roared.
Jiraya had hidden behind a tree in the forest, praying his end would be fast. But based on Tsunade's threats as she uprooted trees, getting closer and closer, that was a pipe dream.
"Well." Jiraya said lowly. "I'm screwed."
"And not in the fun way, either." A cheerful voice interrupted him.
Jiraya turned his head. The little girl from before was standing in front of him, grinning unashamedly.
"Ooh, how badly I've wanted to say that." She cackled, rubbing her tiny fists together.
Jiraya could only think one thing.
This child is completely perverted, and it's not even my fault.
"Who are you?"
"Machiko! You're Jiraya, right?"
Well, she was probably from a ninja clan then. She was obviously lackluster and…..different.
Based on what she said, she was probably from the Inuzuka clan. She didn't have the markings, true, but obviously they were the most cheerful and the ones most likely to even talk about things like that in front of their kids.
"I'm an Uchiha!"
Jiraya choked on his tongue.
There was no way in hell that she was an Uchiha. They were uptight, strict, and formal. No one in their clan would even make that joke, especially near a child.
"So, Ero-Sennin."
"What?" Jiraya felt insulted for a second.
But it's actually kinda catchy. I like it.
"I'll make you a deal. Teach me a jutsu or two, and I'll make Tsunade go away."
"How are you going to do that?"
"Fighting her." She said, her face completely straight. Jiraya goggled at her for a second, before her face creased into a grin.
"Just kidding. I'll go distract her, you mask your chakra. And remember, we have a deal~"
Jiraya anxiously huddled beneath a tree.
His pride screamed that he was letting a child do his work.
His self preservation screamed much, much louder.
He heard the damage stop.
"Hey, brat. You seen a white haired pervert run by?"
"Whats a purr vert?"
The girl sounded so innocent, it was hilarious. Jiraya had to remind himself when this was the same girl.
"Oh, never mind. See a white haired man?"
"Yep, lady! He ran past to the town."
"Damn. I'LL GET YOU JIRAYA!" Tsunade sped off, intent on causing him pain.
"You can come out now, Ero-Sennin."
Jiraya dusted off his clothes, trying to salvage his pride.
"Thanks, kid."
"Wait, what about the jutsus?"
"If you want, I can get my teammate, Orochimaru to teach you. He knows about the Uchiha, he can help." Orochimaru was a prodigy. He'd be a far better teacher.
"What! NO! I don't want him! I want you to teach me!"
Jiraya turned incredulously.
"Why not Orochimaru?" He asked, eager to pawn off teaching jutsus to his teammate.
She gazed at him steadily.
"I ran past you earlier. What was I screaming?"
"Snake-pedo?"
She nodded vigorously.
"Orochimaru is a pedophille. He wants to steal people's bodies."
Jiraya stood for a second, half his mind wondering what the hell did I just hear and the other half cackling maniacally.
In his moment of Machiko-induced stress, she darted forward and clung herself to his leg.
"Pleassseeee. You're my favorite ninja ever!" She wheedled.
She paused.
"Who's alive or is already alive. Once Naruto is born, I'm gonna have to change your status to tied."
"Excuse me?"
She dismissed that with a shake of her head.
"Pleasse? I'll bring you a lunch box! With kaarage and chicken."
"How do you know my favorite food is kaarage and chicken!?"
She blinked up at him.
"Because I love you." She said innocently.
Silence.
"And I don't like Orochimaru-pedo-sensei."
Jiraya finally agreed.
Honestly, he had no idea what else to do.
At that moment, a man with a Konoha headband burst onto the scene, his dark eyes and hair marking him as an Uchihia.
"Machiko!"
She turned to look at him, wincing. In a moment, she had transformed from whatever the hell that was to a small, innocent little girl.
"Otou-san!"
He looked up at Jiraya, bowing low.
"My apologies, Jiraya of the Sannin."
"Otou-san, Otou-san! Ero-sennin is gonna teach me some moves."
"Ero-sennin?" The man frowned. His eyes widened. "Jiraya-sama, you're going to teach her?!"
"Yeah." He said, feeling awkward.
The man beamed so brightly Jiraya was taken aback.
"Machiko, thank Jiraya-sama."
"Thank you, Jiraya-sama." She said politely, bowing. When she lifted her head, she flashed him a wicked grin, quickly schooling her features.
The man picked up Machiko, and headed off, once and a while glancing back.
The next day, true to her word, Machiko brought kaarage and chicken. She was a very attentive pupil, listening to everything Jiraya said.
The fact she managed to calm Tsunade down after her had been caught passing by (that was all he was doing, honest) again with a sweet smile, and a combat that she was pretty, was a bonus.
Yes, if all Uchihia were like Machiko, he was sure the world would be far more interesting.
Holy shit, I managed to get through that with a (mostly) straight face
Jiraya and Naruto were (are?) my favorite characters.
And best yet, I can defend myself against Roachimaru!
This is gonna be good.