A/N: Haven't written in a long time but when you find a ship you just got to go with it! And what better thing to happen than when the main character from a show you already like anyway suddenly turning female and stunning? And your OTP suddenly becoming femslash? So yeah, you can all expect a LOT of 13/River fic to come your way. Hope you enjoy, feedback would be appreciated!

Chapter 1: It'll be fine... right?

Timelords - or in this case Timeladies - didn't require much sleep. Something to do with the two hearts. So when the Doctor lay on her bed in the Tardis, she was mostly just tossing and turning and watching the ceiling while her thoughts wandered. She found this new regeneration did this a lot, she wondered about things, overthought things and delved into her emotions, which, to be fair, were rather treacherous waters. One minute she would be thinking about the best way to reroute the backup system's power to install a popcorn maker to the Tardis's flight deck, the next she would be remembering that time Amy and Rory had insisted on taking him - her - to the cinema. And she would feel a wave of joy at those memories and then a wave of grief at her loss. Maybe this regeneration, being female and all, just felt a lot more… whatever it was, it took some getting used to. Somewhere way off in the corridors of the Tardis she heard Yaz's high pitched laughter and Ryan shouting something she was unable to make out. Maybe she had gravitated towards this group of people to have more company, more distractions, less time to think and feel and— ugh. It was no use.

The Doctor flipped over on her bed, buried her face in her pillow and pulled the duvet over her head. Why couldn't she just go to sleep like normal people did. Her head was just so… full. So many lifetimes, so many emotions that she had buried deep down, particularly during her last regeneration. She had built walls of steel around that dude and with one waft of regeneration energy - poof - gone. And all of a sudden the Doctor was all soft and vulnerable and, well, tiny! She wanted that guitar back, she wondered if she could still play it or if her fingers were too small for the cords… Nevertheless, she was beginning to love this body, definitely an upgrade in other areas. She knew there was a person that would certainly appreciate that too. She'd once compared her to her second wife… well technically she was her first husband - wife - whatever. These gender pronouns were messing with the Doctor's head more than the actual conundrum she was facing. The memories of River Song always intruded at the most inopportune moments. Like when they were running through an 19th century banquet fleeing from a troop of heavily armed robots and the Doctor just happened to remember how beautiful River had looked when she had wrapped his bowtie around their hands for their makeshift ceremony. River would really appreciate this new body, she knew it. Particularly since good old Eyebrows hadn't been the most lighthearted, fun or touchy feely of fellas. And she had spent 24 years with that bloke, had she been in this body already, feeling things the way she was feeling them now… The Doctor blushed into he pillow thinking about how much more fun they could have had, she certainly had a lot of regrets… not that they didn't have fun, they did, and it was deep and romantic but well, there could have been more of everything. The Doctor felt she deserved more, they both did. And why shouldn't she have that opportunity? When River had met Eyebrows she hadn't recognised him - her - so who was to say she couldn't meet her again before Darillium? After she'd last met Bowtie, somewhere around there, if she could find out when that was for both of them… shouldn't do anything to their timeline then should it?

"Should me fine." The Doctor mused as she flipped over again and stared at the ceiling. The Tardis gave a low hum in response. "It'll be fine, why wouldn't it be fine?" She shrugged and sat up. She crossed her legs and ran her hand through through her blonde hair to sort out the messiness of sleep/not sleep. "She'll love me like this." There was another hum from the Tardis. "Oh shush, she's my wife, she'll appreciate this. Just got to work out when and where. The perfect date." She got to her feet bouncing a little on the bed as she did so, suddenly full of energy and excitement. Yes. Why not see River, she could be careful and time it right. She ignored the Tardis's protest as she jumped off the bed and pulled her boots on. "Gang, get in here a minute!" She called out busting with excitement.

"I thought we weren't doing ‚gang'." Ryan commented sticking his head in.

"That wasn't much of a nap, Doctor." Yaz observed, the Doctor had only gone to lie down about half an hour ago.

"Not got time to sleep, lots to do." The Doctor explained. She nearly collided with Graham who was carrying a plate of biscuits as she made her way to the door. "Ohh, custard creams." She grabbed one and steadied Graham. "I need your help, need to plan something." She stuffed the biscuit in her mouth and carried on through the door, the others followed.

"Are we going somewhere?" Ryan asked, they all struggled to keep up with her.

"Yes, to see someone very important. I've put it off until now because… well, bit worried about the fabric of the universe. Plus feeling a bit guilty. And anxious cause I can't predict her reaction. I've had like 21 separate stress dreams about this. Hence the lack of sleep." She explained going off on a tangent. "But it'll be fine. I'll feel better when it's done and I'll just need to plan it right, that's all. No biggie."

"You know you talk about twice as much and twice as fast when you're nervous right?" Graham asked as they followed her onto the flight deck. "What is it you want to do?"

"I want to take my wife out on a date, the best date, the date to end all dates!" The Doctor turned and exclaimed in excitement.

"Your what now?" Graham looked at her in total confusion.

"My wife, she's great, you'll love her, she's an archeologist." The Doctor carried on only paying mild attention to their dumbfound expressions.

"I thought you hated archeologists." Yaz interjected equally as confused.

"Your wife?" Ryan repeated to make sure they had heard her right.

"Yeah, been married a long time. Well, not sure quite how long, it's all a bit…" She waved her hands around, lacking another way of explaining how complicated it was. "Timey whimey complicatey." She hopped around the console pulling leavers and pressing buttons setting coordinates.

"It always is with you, in'tit, Doc." Graham observed and she shrugged.

"Where is she now, why is she not travelling with you?" Ryan asked. How would anyone pass up the chance to go with the Doctor, particularly if they were married to her.

"Timestreams, time and space going …" She made a explosion noise and gestured wildly. "She killed me. She saved me. We broke time. Restarted it. She went to prison. I travelled with her parents. I became scottish. Spent a night together that latest 24 years, well, long story." She grinned excitedly and her three companions just stared at each other utterly confused. "Plus, she said only one psychopath per Tardis, whatever that was supposed to mean."

"That sounds…" Graham couldn't find the words.

"Just like you Doctor." Yay finished his sentence.

"Well, all you need to know is that our timelines don't run linear and alongside each other. The first time I met her was the day she died and we were heading opposite directions." The Doctor tried to explain more calmly, realising that she had probably thrown a bit much at them. "Every time we've met after that has been out of sync. We kept diaries to compare were we are in each others timeline. She travels through time as well so we can never be sure. It started off just being linear in opposite directions but it's more of a …" She gestured wildly.

"Huge mess." Graham interjected.

"That probably describes it, yes. So we just need to be extra careful when we do come across each other not to do anything that messes up our timelines, we can never stay together for too long…"

"That's really sad…" Yaz observed realising how hard that was on either one of them.

"It's fine." The Doctor tried to sound casual and cheerful as she always did but it was somewhat less believable than usual.

"Starcrossed lovers across time." Graham added.

"Well, just got to make the most of it… and try not to break time… again. I wouldn't change anything though, she wouldn't allow me too either." Her words echoed in her head as if she'd only just said them. Time can be rewritten. - Not this time. Not a single line. Don't you dare. There was a moment of silence, all sorts of emotions playing on the Doctor's soft features and her companions watched her closely, the Doctor very rarely let them see behind the facade of giddiness and wonder. But as quickly as the change of mood had come on, she shook off the feeling and continued: "Well, that was deep dark and depressing, to more cheerful things. She's not seen this regeneration of me yet so I want to surprise her. She'll love it. Take her on a date, should be great fun."

"And you've worked out how to do that without making the universe collapse?"

"Well, I've tracked her movements through time, obviously, just got to find a point where it's not so crowded by, well, me." She explained. "Easy peasy. Any time before Darillium and after she's released from prison, it went to see her there a lot when I was Bowtie, don't want to run into myself." She mused.

"Bowtie?"

"Yeah I don't really know how to refer to my previous regenerations so I'm just going with distinguishing features, Bowtie, Eyebrows… Bowtie was when we got married. Those were the good times."

"So you're married to a criminal, she was in prison?" Yaz tried her best to wrap her head around all this information. "What was she in for?"

"Murder technically…" The Doctor shrugged and at the sight of her companion's expressions she elaborated. "Well, my murder. I said that earlier didn't I? She killed me but didn't actually so it's all good, we made prison fun." She pressed a few more buttons on the console assuming the topic was done with. "I'm thinking Luna University, never really went there much. Didn't want to interrupt when she was actually doing something productive and, well, right for once."

"Is that a university on the moon then?" Ryan asked.

"Bingo! 10 points! Very prestigious, did a semester in British Royal History once after having tea with Elizabeth the third."

"Right…" The three companions just looked at each other.

"Anyway, River should be teaching there right about… now." She pressed a final button and placed her hand on the lever to get them going.

"River? Is that her name? That's pretty." Yaz offered trying to be encouraging.

"Doctor, no Professor, she should be a professor by this point, Professor River Song. Well actually her name is Melody Pond but she goes by River Song, long story, her parents were… I'm rambling again aren't I, shall we just go?"

"Let's." Graham agreed quickly and the others nodded. The Doctor pulled the lever and the Tardis lurched forward and spun into action.

"So she's not met you looking like this yet?" Yaz confirmed and the Doctor shrugged.

"Nah. Always been a man up until this point." She look at the monitor observing their flight path, doing her best to hide how anxious it actually was making her.

"Do you think she'll mind?"

"No. … I mean probably not. Last time I met her she compared me to her second wife… so maybe I'd already met her by that point but she didn't tell me to preserve the time stream. And I mean, she spent 24 years with Eyebrows and he, well I, was angry and Scottish then so this is definitely an upgrade. I'm adorable."