Very controversial pairing pffffffffffffft welp you've been warned.
Mostly Astolfoé fluff smut. a subtle mention of possibly triggering topics. Set post-canon.
Astolfo still hadn't quite understood how he had ended up… like this.
Sure.
Their first meeting had been ok. They had just bumped into each other on their way to a train and that had been cool.
Their second meeting, however, had been a full on mess involving him almost murdering him for being a vampire and then kind of murdering other people and then kind of… having to fight against the vampire queen which didn't go quite as well as he had hoped it to go.
And now he was here. Two years later.
Eating cake in a café with the man he had tried to kill once.
"The Tarte Tatin is really good! How's your strawberry cake, Astolfo?"
Astolfo almost choked on his cake at that. He wasn't used to this. Even though they had had those… kind of… "dates" more often by now, he still had a hard time believing that Noé had forgiven him for everything he had done, but then again, Noé had changed a lot since everything had happened.
"Yeah it's… quite good, I think."
They had never really talked about what their relationship actually was. They were eating in cafés from time to time. Strolling through parks and through Paris. During the day, during the evening, sometimes even during the night.
That was not what normal 'friends' would do. But they were both guys. There was no way Noé would feel that way about him.
Everything had started about a year ago when Astolfo had been beaten up and touched by men on the street. Usually he would have killed them, or would have been strong enough to shove them away, but he didn't have the power to do so after visiting Roland's and Olivier's grave.
Everything he had wanted back then was for those men to kill him. It didn't matter anyways. He had been alone since they had died.
There had been no sense whatsoever.
But then Noé had stepped in and had basically thrown those men around and only when they had gone, he had realized that it was Astolfo who had been there and Astolfo supposed that Noé had felt so bad for him that he had forgiven him… somewhat.
It was then when he had had to tell Noé that one mystery he had always kept to himself, but he had been scared and his clothes had been torn apart, so there had been no way out of it.
But instead of abandoning him like most other people would have, Noé had been there for him.
And that had kind of brought them… into this position they currently were in.
"You're strangely quiet today, Astolfo!", Noé noticed and Astolfo put down his fork.
"I… don't know. I'm not feeling too great today, sorry. It's just that I… I don't know, ok?"
He wanted to ask Noé what they were. If they were friends.
Friends or more.
Because that was what it felt like to him.
"Do you want to go home?"
"No. It's ok."
He had noticed it on the fourth day of living in Noé's house after the incident and of him making soup for him (which was barely edible, but Astolfo, who had cooked for himself, had long gotten used to bad food), when he kept crying.
He remembered how Noé, who had a broken heart himself because he had just lost the man he had loved one year ago, had comforted him, taken him into his arms for him to finally be able to cry.
He had noticed that the pain in his heart and the longing to be closer to him weren't something that would be described as a normal feeling in a friendship.
"Are you sure? Hey, you know that you can talk to me- no, it's my job to be asking something for once. Astolfo… uhm…"
Astolfo had been prepared for everything, for everything, but not for the question that followed.
"What is love for you?"
He was glad that he had already put the fork onto the plate before that question, because otherwise he would have dropped it in an instant.
"I-"
Noé shook his head slightly, probably not noticing the deep red blush on Astolfo's cheeks and how his hands were trembling.
"No, forget it. It's a stupid question. I got to discover what it's like. It's awful. You'll just lose the person before you're able to even do anything about it. Or get rejected before you even understand what this… feeling means. Forget it. Pretend I never ask-"
"No", Astolfo intervened and grabbed the fork again, "that's… not it, Noé. You were… unfortunate. You- he- you guys were…"
"Even if he was alive now, we wouldn't have worked out, I know", the smile on Noé's face broke Astolfo.
"Yeah that's… possible. But it's… not what usually happens. Please don't give up on the one thing keeping us alive, Noé."
Sometimes it really did show that he had spent years with the church. But not everything about religion was bad, it did teach you some things – for example that love can indeed get you through multiple things.
"I- I didn't… wasn't planning on, uhm…"
"Noé, you wanted to know what it was for me, right? It's something that changes us. That makes us into the person we're supposed to be or the person we're not supposed to be. It's what we make out of it. We can be crappy assholes and force people into actions they don't want or let go of the person when we see that they don't requite the feelings. We-", he had to stop for a moment because he felt like this was getting way too personal, "but just because you loved him and lost him doesn't mean that it'll happen again. It changed you and made you a better person, right? So, don't give up on it. For me it's… just something important. Something that makes your throat dry and your breath hitch and- your heart beat faster. Even if it's not requited."
Noé sat there for a moment, finishing his Tarte Tatin, then he looked up again.
"Is that it? Astolfo is… your heart beating faster right now?"
Astolfo definitely lost it at that and the fork dropped out of his hand for real now, causing everyone in the tiny café to look at them.
"No, you interpreted this wrong, Noé-"
"Did I, though?"
Oh how much he hated that Noé wasn't as clueless as he had been when they had first met.
"I- I mean- I'm-"
He didn't know how to say 'no' to this, because Noé had interpreted it perfectly right and a part of him wanted to confess, but the other part of him absolutely didn't want it.
"You know that you're just even cuter when you stutter like this, right?"
God was Noé flirting with him or was he still misinterpreting all of this?
He didn't know how to react or what to say, so he just sat there, in his chair, both hands on the table, trying to not let them tremble as much as they wanted it to in this moment.
"Hey", Noé suddenly said, his voice gone all soft by now and then there was a hand on his own and Astolfo flinched and almost pulled it back.
Noé's hand was big enough to cover his and he felt tears coming to his eyes at how warm it was.
"Let's stop beating around the bush, ok? It's not like I'm completely unobservant as I was anymore. Finish your cake and then you'll come home with me and we'll properly talk for once, ok? Oh no, no, please don't cry! Was I- was this too direct or…?"
"You're an idiot, Noé. How do you think I can finish this cake when I feel so goddamn embarrassed now?"
Noé grinned and eyed the cake.
"Is it mine then?"
"Yes, here, take it. I'll buy a pizza later on."
"Pizza? I've never heard of that! It sounds Italian though!"
Astolfo hated how Noé went from this serious conversation to something like… food… in just a second.
"It's like… dough with tomatoes and cheese. It tastes incredibly good. I've heard that some Italian bakery has brought it here in the last few months and people have started putting everything onto it by now, but it's super good."
"Can I come with you then?"
Noé had, indeed, already finished the cake.
Of course.
"If- if you want and I don't hate you by then, you can."
Noé gave the waitress of the café the money and stood up then, reaching his hand out for Astolfo to take, but Astolfo wasn't quite sure whether he was supposed to actually take it or-
"Come on, Astolfo. I don't bite. Also I- I uhm… you know… like holding your… hand."
Ok that was not something Astolfo would have expected, but it made him put his hand into the bigger one, but Noé straight up went and intertwined their fingers a little.
"Noé, what are you-"
"Don't start crying again, ok? I can't bear that. Let me do this now."
But he did start crying again, as soon as they had stepped out of the café because he felt so incredibly weak in this moment, he didn't know what else to do except for crying. Noé's hand was so warm and his thumb slowly stroking the back of his own hand didn't really help.
"Hey, no crying. No crying or people will think that I've hurt you or something."
Astolfo had to laugh at that.
"Well, you did, you fucking idiot! Can't you see that? You can't just go and randomly call me-"
"Cute?", Noé asked and bumped his arm into Astolfo's shoulder, "but you are~"
"I am not, goddamnit! I'm letting go of your hand if you say this one more time! Look, isn't it enough for you that you've made me cry and I'm still going home with you? Who knows how much you're going to make me cry when we're home! And what do you even mean by 'stop beating around the bush', Noé?"
He grabbed the hand harder, clutching onto it.
"I think you know exactly what I mean. I can't say it out loud when we're not alone, ok, but I've been wanting to tell you so I decided I was going to do it today, so please just… come home with me, ok?"
Astolfo didn't quite know what this meant or rather, he tried to avoid having hope.
"Ok… if you say so."
They had arrived at Noé's flat without saying any more. Astolfo hadn't been able to bring himself to say something and he had the feeling that Noé was having the same problem.
He hadn't let go of his hand though; not even when he had fumbled for the keys and opened the door.
They were awkwardly standing in the hallway by now, until Noé muttered 'just sit down somewhere' to Astolfo, who had no choice left except for Noé's goddamn bed because the chairs around the table were loaded with either cat food or a cat itself.
"So… what's it now?", he asked, Noé sat down next to him, taking his hand again, looking at his own lap as to avoid looking at the other.
"Come on, you brought me here, now tell me. Go on and… break my heart or whatever."
"I-"
Astolfo felt tears in his eyes again. Noé was so helpless. He would probably just reject him.
"Listen, Astolfo. It's hard for me to say this after everything that happened with Vanitas and how he died on me, but I", he swallowed, Astolfo felt his hand starting to tremble, "I fell in love with you."
It took Astolfo quite a few seconds to understand what had just been said.
"You… what?"
"I'm in love with you, ok? Now either say that you're too or that you're not-"
"Me? Are you seriously suggesting that I… that there's even a possibility that I'm not…?"
Noé was honest.
Of course he was; Noé never lied.
"What do you…?", Noé began, but Astolfo cut him off by pulling him onto the bed so he was able to properly hug him.
He needed to hold Noé for him to not break apart, or at least that was how he felt.
Noé seemed strong at first, but he wasn't, and Astolfo thought that, if he hadn't pulled him into his arms right now, he would have started crying right then and there.
"Astolfo?"
"Idiot", the younger one sobbed, let go, then he pressed Noé against the wall behind the bed, took pillows and put them between the wall and Noé's back, then he sat down on his lap, facing him, so that he could actually look into his eyes without looking up for once.
"I love you too, you goddamn idiot!"
He just stared into Noé's eyes, lost himself in them, and a moment later he already lost his willpower and scooted closer to him, brought his face closer to Noé's.
"Astolfo- I've never…"
"Never kissed?"
"Yeah."
"Well, great, neither have I, then we can do this now, huh?"
Noé chuckled softly, pushing his hands through Astolfo's hair, pressing him closer to himself with his elbows.
"I guess so, yeah. Kiss me, Astolfo."
And that was what made Astolfo lose his mind because Noé had just actively asked to kiss him.
He leant forward just enough for their foreheads to touch, trying to memorize this moment just in case it would never happened again, Noé slowly tilted his head a little.
His heart was dying. His hands on Noé's shoulders were trembling so hard that he thought he would lose control over them every moment.
"Astolfo, please. Don't let me wait any longer… I've already waited for this whole year, isn't this enough?"
And then he kissed him.
Noé's lips were soft, so incredibly soft and warm and he felt Noé gasp, felt his whole body twitch at this simple touch of lips, felt him melt into the kiss as soon as he truly understood what had happened.
This was everything he had ever wanted, everything he had been waiting for, probably since he had first met Noé – to be able to kiss him just like this, to be able to understand why his heart longed so much for him.
When they broke apart after what felt like seconds and like hours at once, Noé's fingers in his hair started trembling even more.
"Astolfo, please… please just… keep kissing me, will you?"
Astolfo had to laugh out, then he slowly put his hands to Noé's cheeks.
"You really are such an idiot, Noé. You could have told me so much earlier. We would've been able to do this so much earlier."
Noé's breath ghosting over his cheek made him lean in again. It was to no use. He couldn't reject anything Noé wanted, especially when it was about a kiss.
Their kisses were just insecure and almost child-like, lips barely even touching or moving, but after a while, something in Astolfo screamed to just finally kiss him for real.
He pressed his lips onto Noé's harder, wanting to feel more of him, Noé's fingers slipped down to his neck, and he gasped again, opening his mouth just a little, enough for Astolfo to lick over the upper lip and then everything became messy.
Noé opened his mouth wider until Astolfo decided that he may as well turn this into a tongue kiss by now and as soon as he did, Noé responded.
A lot quicker than Astolfo thought he would.
Words weren't needed between them anymore, so Astolfo decided that this was what they were going to do now and nobody would be able to stop them from doing it, no Roland, no Vanitas, no God.
Noé tasted incredibly good and that one single part of Astolfo that had continued to hate vampires hated it, hated what he was doing, but everything else screamed for him to continue.
Noé was shy and didn't know what to do, but Astolfo himself barely had any idea except that he knew that it felt good, that he needed more of their tongues and bodies touching.
Noé's right hand slipped down to his hip after some time and Astolfo welcomed the sensation it brought, letting his own hands slowly crawl over those muscular arms that he had learned to adore a long time ago.
They broke apart again, just to go back to what they were doing, Astolfo kissed him a little bit harder, but it was hard enough for Noé's leg to move, so that it ended with Astolfo only sitting on one of his legs, Noé's leg on his and his left leg touching Noé's upper thigh. If he moved it just a bit he'd-
That was something he shouldn't think.
He could feel his breathing going harder at the thought of moving his leg against Noé's crotch, of making this man in front of him sigh and moan, but he shouldn't-
It was already over for him.
His insides were tingling, the way Noé's leg felt against his own crotch, his hand on his hipbone, the fingers slowly crawling over to the back of his body.
If Noé hadn't wanted this, he would already have stopped it.
Astolfo moved his leg just a bit, just so much until he could feel how hard Noé already was in his pants.
They were still fully clothed, but he somehow didn't care about it for now.
His body hurt, hurt to just start moving on Noé's thigh, so he gave in to the urge.
His hips bucked forward helplessly, he lost his grip on the kiss at the feeling that went through his entire body at the light touch, Noé gasped once again, his breathing becoming ragged after having repeated the movement a few times.
"As…tolfo… this… feels good", he whispered, opening his eyes just to have them fluttering shut again, his mouth opening a tiny bit more when Astolfo grinded against him another time, feeling the wetness slowly soaking his pants and it made him wild.
"This really… feels good", he repeated, sighing, meeting Astolfo's motions halfway now, his thumb and fingers on Astolfo's hip and lower back slipped a bit lower.
Astolfo buried his face in Noé's neck, letting his own hands work below Noé's shirt now.
His skin was soft.
"Yes… it… does", he admitted, continuing to ride Noé's thigh a little quicker now, feeling the friction of his wet pants between his legs and Noé's lips on his neck, teeth barely scraping the skin.
"Astolfo… is it ok if I pull off your shirt?", Noé asked, biting his own lip when Astolfo stopped for a moment.
"Yeah, it's ok."
Noé's hands on his heated skin felt good when they slowly made their way to his stomach, his ribs, a tiny bit above, then Noé pulled of the shirt.
Without even asking, Noé opened the knot of the bandages on his back, then slowly rolled them off, still sighing and breathing out loudly.
"I… take back what I said", he whispered, stroking the sides of Astolfo's chest slowly, then grasping a little harder, as if he was in a daze and didn't actually realize what he was doing, "you're not cute… Astolfo. You're… hot."
At that comment, Astolfo clutched onto him harder, desperate to get out of his pants by now, desperate to just get off together with Noé.
"Help me get out of those pants", he whispered and Noé sucked in his breath, then opened the button, pulling them down to Astolfo's knees, his underwear already revealing his hip bones and dark hair, having been pulled along by the pants.
He knew that Noé was staring and by the way he bucked his hips forward, he knew how much it affected him.
Astolfo lowered himself onto his thigh again, now only in underwear, definitely feeling more now.
Noé's hand kept touching his chest until his left hand slowly stroked his stomach all the to the slightly curled hair, his fingertips running through it.
Astolfo got quicker, more uncontrolled.
And that was what made Noé make a sound. It was only a pressed out 'hng', but Astolfo loved hearing it.
It felt good.
"Astolfo… feels… hng… so good…", he whispered again, his hand dipping into his underwear and then back again, leaving Astolfo frustrated enough to push his knee up into Noé's crotch now, then opening the button of Noé's pants and pulling them down as far as possible, Noé sat up a little and pulled them down, throwing Astolfo's pants to the floor with him.
Astolfo wanted to stop, tried to stop, but didn't manage, moving his hips across Noé's bare thigh now, his knee trembling in Noé's crotch and it was warm and hot and suddenly, Noé moaned.
It sounded like music to his ears, as if he had never heard anything better in his whole life.
"Astolfo… hng… ah…!"
And again and everything Astolfo was able to do was to meet his thrusts.
"Astolfo… wait… not my… leg… anymore… please."
Astolfo felt himself getting red again, but Noé's thumbs were already in is underwear, pulling them down, then he threw them onto the floor.
Noé took off his own underwear, then laid down onto the bed, shivering.
Astolfo couldn't do anything else than stare at the man below him who looked so terribly handsome and hot at the same time.
Noé threw his head back when Astolfo took his member into his hand.
"Astolfo… ah… please, I… need you… please…!"
As if he could resist this begging and the wetness inside of him.
He straddled Noé's hips and started to sink down on him fully now, he was hitting every spot in the perfectly right way and even though it hurt, he couldn't care less.
"Noé", he breathed, slowly clenching around him, knowing that it wouldn't take long for him to come like this, "moan my name when you come. Please."
Noé nodded, not able to do more than that.
Astolfo started to move, feeling the tingling in his body building up and up until he had no control over himself anymore.
He was moaning by now, with his eyes closed and hips moving on their own.
"Astolfo, I think I'm-"
He clenched around him again, feeling Noé bucking his hips below him, trying to get more friction.
"Oh fuck, Noé…!", he screamed at the sudden motion, putting his hands into his hair and clutching onto it.
"I'm… oh god", he said, "Noé- I'm…"
"Me too…"
"Come for me."
And then it was over for both of them.
Noé did moan his name when he came. Oh and HOW he moaned it, in such a blissful tone that was close to a sob but still sounded so full of pleasure, that it made Astolfo ride him even harder for a moment, until they both sank into the pillows incredibly exhausted, but satisfied.
"Astolfo", Noé whispered, still out of breath, "tonight. Please let me touch you tonight."
All Astolfo could do was to nod and huddle closer to him.