"How's this? AAAAAAAAUUUUUGGHHH SAVE MEIMBEINGKIDNAAAPPPED!!!"
"Good, good, but tone it down a
leetle." A deep, Russian-esque voice said.
"Okay, okay..." Chancellor Pulpatine inhaled. "SAAAVE MEEE IM' BEING KIDNAPPED!!"
"Much better, don't want to make scream sound crazy."
"Thank you ever so much, Grievous."
"No problem." Said the huge, mechanized leek. Grievous looked outside, then back at Pulpatine.
"Sudoku is here now. Remember motivation!"
A ship flew past the cold, dark expanse of space.
Then, another one followed. Within these ships, were Jedi grape, Obi Wan Kenobi and the now Jedi Knight, Ne'zzakin Skywalker. The zucchini had certainly grown up since then, with long, brownish-blonde hair and a nice, handsome face. On his belt, was a lightsaber he created, with the blade in a lovely shade of baby blue.
"Ya sense any danger, kiddo?" Asked Obi.
"Negatory." Said Ne'zzakin. "Er, I mean, yeah, no."
Both Jedi continued to fly throughout space. Suddenly, on both their com-links, came a hologram of a tall, white-bearded rutabaga clad in black.
"I," said the rutabaga. "..am Count Sudoku. I am set to kidnap His Excellency, the Chancellor Pulpatine, and there is nothing you can do about it..."
An ominous shadow came over the ships of the Jedi. They both stared in awe, as thousands upon thousands of ships were before them, in the midst, was a massive Star Destroyer. None of the amount of stars in the galaxy could compare to how many potentially
deadly, gigantic ships there were, compared to our heroes' tiny starships.
"...do not try to do anything.." said Count Sudoku. "As I said before, there is nothing you can do about it...you'll be fried when I'm through with you..."
Ne'zzakin flicked his hair back. He looked at Obi, Obi returned the
glance.
"ALRIGHT!" Exclaimed Ne'zzakin. "YOOU WANNA DO THIS THE HARD WAY?! HIT IT, R2!"
"Bee-bee-boop!"* R2-Pea2 bleeps. He inserts a small CD labeled 'BOSTON HITS'.
(*"Bring it on!"*)
"It's more than
a feeling (more
than a feeling)
When I hear that
old song they
used to play
(more than a
feeling)
And I begin
dreaming (more
than a feeling)
Till I see Marianne
walk away
I see my Marianne
walkin' away"
"CHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!" Exclaimed
Ne'zzakin at the top of his lungs. Ne'zzakin and Obi-Wan rammed their X-wings at the fleet. Suddenly,
millions of other ships emerged and
started firing at the two Jedi.
"AAAAAAAAAA!" Exclaimed Ne'zzakin. It was way too soon to be brave.
"So many
people have come
and gone
Their faces fade
as the years go by
Yet I still recall as I
wander on
As clear as the
sun in the summer
sky
It's more than a
feeling (more than
a feeling)
When I hear that
old song they
used to play
(more than a
feeling)"
A few ships were taken out. Ne'zzakin and Obi zoomed through the most complicated maze of ships ever. Ne'zzakin accidentally shot Obi-Wan's ship, he gave a sheepish smile.
"And I begin
dreaming (more
than a feeling)
Till I see Marianne
walk away
I see my Marianne
walkin' away
When I'm tired
and thinking cold
I hide in my music,
forget the day
And dream of a
girl I used to know
I closed my eyes
and she slipped
away
She slipped away It's more than a
feeling (more than
a feeling)
When I hear that
old song they
used to play
(more than a
feeling)
And I begin
dreaming (more
than a feeling)
Till I see my
Marianne walking
away"
Ne'zzakin jumped out of his ship when he was close enough, and ran
down the halls, sending a message
to Obi that he had successfully
broken in. He stopped, and stared at the tall, caped figure of General Grievous!
"DO SVIDANYA, STUPID JEDI!!" Exclaimed General Grievous.
(Cue "Dance of the Swans")
As Ne'zzakin and Grievous fought, it seemed as though the cyborg's dancing was becoming more...ballet-like. The (seemingly)
stoic general pirouetted, passéd, and rond de jambed, all while holding his four lightsabers with each of his metal hands. Ne'zzakin blinked, and Grievous was in a very pink tutu, marching about with such expertise and form.
Finally, Grievous spun rapidly, finishing with a descent to the
ground. He batted his eyes, much like any prima donna would.
(Music ends)
Ne'zzakin just stared.
"...what was that." He said, flatly.
"Nosink!" Grievous removed his skirt. "NOW WE FIGHT LIKE MEN!!"
Grievous and Ne'zzakin continued fighting, their moves seemingly
matched each other's. A little while later, Obi-Wan walked in to view the battle. He grew somewhat bored, and drove his saber through Grievous' head. Fortunately (for him), Grievous was not hurt. Ne'zzakin Skywalker looked on as the cyborg retreated.
"Gee, if only Yoga were here.." said
Nez.
"But he's not." Said Obi-Wan.
--
Meanwhile, thousands of miles away on the Wookiee planet of
Kashyyk, a battle was taking place.
Being since so many members of various Wookiee tribes were being taken hostage and made slaves for their brute strength, someone had to free them. That someone, would be Yoga. Through the jungles he fought with the Wookiee army, slaying every Imperial in sight. Suddenly, Yoga felt something. A Wookiee named Chewbacca approached him, and growled a "What's wrong?".
"A great disturbance in the Lite Vinaigrette, I feel." Said Yoga.
"Continue to fight I will, but return soon, I must."