"Hey, Jude told me you're getting even sicker," Taylor walks into my room and sits next to me on my bed, "Why didn't you text me back last night? I was worried,"
"Sorry, I've been sleeping all day, I'm fine though, I saw the doctor the other day and he says it's probably just the flu," Taylor and I have been together for 10 months now, and we're going strong.
"Does that mean I can't kiss you?" She lays her head down on the pillow next to mine.
"Not unless you want to catch it," We laugh, instead she gives me a kiss on the cheek and holds my hand, "How was school this week?"
"Ugh, boring, I hate going to class without you, and I was such a third wheel at lunch now that Noah's transferred to ABCC and Daria's always off with her boyfriend," She lets me cuddle into her. Her soft hand strokes my cheek while the other one plays with my hair, the way my body fits into hers is perfect, we feel so right side by side. I wrap my hands around her torso and run my fingers along the pattern on her shirt.
"Can you hurry up and get better, so we can go back to being the cutest couple at school?"
"I'll do my best," I kiss her hand, "But the first thing we need to do when I'm better is a date night, it's been so long since the last one,"
"If you're talking about dinner with my parents that doesn't count as a date," Meeting Taylor's mom and dad was so scary. I've sort of met her mom before, at my trial but still, I was convinced they wouldn't like me or they'd judge me for my past but it ended up being a really good night, we played board games and they let me spend the night, in a separate room of course, but that didn't stop me sneaking into her room in the middle of the night. We didn't do anything, neither of us is ready for that, we just cuddled and talked, and maybe we kissed a little too.
"Why not? It was awesome!" I suddenly feel the need to throw up, I bolt upright and reach over Taylor to grab the bucket and try my best to hide it from her, "Maybe you should go," She doesn't move though, instead, she comforts me, hands me tissues to wipe my mouth and she even took the full bucket away to get a new one. I feel so embarrassed. I hate looking so weak and helpless around her, especially when she's usually the one making me feel so strong, "Seriously Taylor, you don't have to do this for me," Mama comes into my room.
"Oh sweetie, are you still throwing up?" I nod, she tries to help me but notices that Taylor's doing a pretty good job.
"It's okay, Mrs Adams-Foster, I can take care of her for a little while,"
"No really, Taylor, I don't want you to see me like this," I admit.
"Don't be silly, it's-"
"Actually, Taylor, I think that's for the best," Mama sees the distress in my eyes and jumps to my defence, "It's been a rough day for Gracie and she just needs some rest," She's still polite, but I can tell I'm hurting Taylor.
"Oh, okay, well, call me later if you're feeling better," I can't look her in the eye, I feel too gross, she kisses my head and walks away.
"Thanks, mama," She takes a seat, "I'm just not ready for her to see the ugly side of me yet," I puke some more.
"There's no ugly side of you, Gracie," She wipes my mouth.
"Are you sure?" I catch a glimpse of myself in Mariana's vanity mirror, "I look like death, I feel like it too," I lay back in my bed.
"You'll get better soon, just keep resting," She tucks me in like I'm a little kid, but it makes me feel safe, "Do you think you'll be able to come down for lunch, it'll be ready in about a half hour,"
"Uh, yeah I'll eat what I can, my appetite is still all messed up," I've barely eaten since the day before I saw the doctor. I just throw everything back up again. But Doctor Rufus is going to call us with the blood test results today so if it's not the flu then hopefully I can get some kind of meds to help me out. I missed almost a whole week of school and I've barely spoken to Taylor. I miss her so much, but I can't be around her when I'm like this. We always spend Saturdays together, so I was looking forward to seeing her now I feel bad for making her leave.
I hear the phone ring, so I drag myself downstairs to the kitchen where mom is sat.
"Okay, I see, yeah thank you, thanks very much, bye," She hangs up.
"What did he say? It's just the flu?" I ask as I pull up a chair at the table opposite her.
"That was his secretary, she said Doctor Rufus wants us to come in first thing tomorrow to go over the results in person," Despite the fact that's already worrying enough, mom's not exactly looking very confident.
"That means it's something bad," A million bad thoughts run through my head, cancer, heart disease, liver failure, kidney failure, everything. I'm sick, really, really sick.
"What's going on?" Mama joins us.
"They want us to go to the hospital, I'm probably dying or something," I panic, "How can this be happening?" My breathing speeds up and my heart starts to pound.
"Hey, calm down," Mama squeezes me, she does this whenever I start to panic, it helps slow my breathing down, "It'll be fine,"
"You don't know that!" I hyperventilate.
"Gracie, breathe," Mom takes my hand, the two of them sit me down on the kitchen floor and talk me through my panic attack, my throat is raw, and my eyes are all stingy and red but eventually, I'm able to relax a little.
"What if it is something bad?" I ask them.
"Well," They look at each other, "We'll deal with it, all of us, but we don't know what those results say so until then there's no reason to panic," Mama cradles me.
"Come on, let's get you back into bed," They help me to my feet, but everything begins to spin and then all I see is black.