Eventually, both Jedi and droid hooked onto Grievous's ship. A door opened, soft jazz music poured out. Grievous emerged, holding a coffee cup, wearing a pink bathrobe and a face mask.
"Ah, the paparazzi.." said General Grievous. "GET OFF MINE CASE, PRETTY BOY! EMPEROR HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AN--oh!"
Grievous snarled and picked up his lightsabers.
"...Jedi boy! Since you are disturbing facial pores, I fight you, niet?!"
For a cyborg guy in an ironically feminine getup, Grievous was surprisingly quick and agile.
"Now look at that!" He exclaimed, cucumber face mask slightly removed. "You mess up face mask!"
"I, no Hulk-Speak!" Exclaimed Ne'zzakin, mocking the Russian-accented droid.
"WHY YOU LITTLE--"
The whole time, none of our protagonists nor antagonists were actually concerned with where they were flying. This of course, left a trail of destruction over Coruscant's "Little Alderaan", a few malls, and a local park! When they did view the road, however, they were about to crash into the senate building!!!!
"AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGH!!!!!!!" R2 and Ne'zzakin jumped into
Grievous's arms and the whole ship went careening through the roof!
When the dust settled, Ne'zzakin and Grievous still fought, despite
them hugging moments before! Just then, the entire Jedi council broke through the windows, landing a perfect backflip and huddling up like a SWAT team.
"Don't worry! We gotcha back!" Said A Soda Tano.
The kidnapped Chancellor turned around, giving a surprisingly evil
laugh. Ne'zzakin and Obi looked at
each other.
"Oh, what a wild goose chase you two have been on, eh?" Said he. "But what you did not know, was that the true evil mastermind behind all this was not metal-brains over there, nor Sudoku, it was none other than...MEEE!"
Pulpatine raised his non-existent hands and gave a triumphant grin. A long silence passed as the Jedi
stared at him.
"Seriously?" Said Yoga.
"NOW DIE, YOU JEDI DOGS!!!" Exclaimed Pulpatine. From his non-existent hands shot Lite-Vinaigrette lightning.
Mace Windex reflected the lightning and it hit Pulpatine. When the old orange got up, he stood, horrified. His appearance was heavily disfigured and more gray and wrinkled then orange and fresh.
"Standing in
the rain, with his
head hung low
Couldn't get a
ticket, it was a
sold out show
Heard the roar of
the crowd, he
could picture the
scene
Put his ear to the
wall, then like a
distant scream
He heard one
guitar, just blew
him away
He saw stars in
his eyes, and the
very next day.."
"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!" He yelled in an elderly-sounding voice.
The Jedis charged at Pulpatine and
his army of clones and droids charged as well. Mace continued to
take on Pulpatine.
With their sabers, the rest of the Jedi plowed through the army of clone troopers and droids.
"Bought a beat
up six string, in a
secondhand store
Didn't know how
to play it, but he
knew for sure
That one guitar,
felt good in his
hands, didn't take
long, to
understand
Just one guitar,
slung way down
low
Was a one way
ticket, only one
way to go
So he started
rockin', ain't never
gonna stop
Gotta keep on
rockin', someday
gonna make it to
the top"
Clones smothered Ne'zzakin, repeatedly beating him up.
"Say!" He said. "You're clones, right?"
"Correct." Said all of them in perfect synch.
"Well, which one of you carbon copies is the real one?"
"I am!" Said a random clone.
"No, I am!" Said the other.
"What're you talking about, stupid?!"
"Ha-ha! You called yourself stupid."
"YOU called yourself stupid, stupid!"
The clones growled at each other and started shooting at their
copies and beating themselves up.
Ne'zzakin slowly walked away.
"QUIT HITTING MYSELF! QUIT HITTING MYSELF!" Exclaimed a clone.
"And be a juke
box hero, (got
stars in his eyes)
he's a juke box
hero
He took one guitar
(juke box hero
stars in his eyes)
Juke box hero,
(stars in his eyes) he'll come alive
tonight"
Sudoku and Yoga dueled once more. They continued to fight, until Sudoku's lightsaber was thrown to the side. When it seemed as though Yoga would allow a truce, Ne'zzakin leapt into the air and brutally
decapitated Sudoku.
"Hey!" Said Yoga. "Mine, that was!"
"In a town
without a name, in
a heavy downpour
Thought he
passed his own
shadow, by the
backstage door
Like a trip through
the past, to that
day in the rain
And that one
guitar, made his
whole life change
Now he needs to keep on rockin',
he just can't stop
Gotta keep on
rockin', that boy
has got to stay on
top"
Pulpatine happily grinned as Ne'zzakin leapt into the air, fueled by the burning passion of the Dark Side.
He sliced through millions of battle droids, even forced field droids,
without breaking a sweat.
"And be a juke
box hero, got
stars in his eyes
He's a juke box
hero, got stars in
his eyes
Yeah, juke box
hero, stars in his
eyes
With that one
guitar (stars in his
eyes)
He'll come alive,
come alive
tonight, woah"
As he continued to fight, the Jedis noticed something was wrong with the boy.
While they admitted he was pretty good at combat, he was too good. Some might say so good it's bad.
"Yeah, he's
gotta keep on
rockin', just can't
stop
Gotta keep on
rockin', that boy has got to stay on
top"
"Uh, Ne'z?" Said Obi. "Y-you can stop, now.."
"And be a juke
box hero, got
stars in his eyes
He's a juke box
hero (aah aah
aah)
Juke box hero,
(aah aah aah) juke
box hero, he got
stars in his eyes
Stars in his eyes"
"Wait a second...Ne'z!" Exclaimed Obi. "WHERE ARE YOU?!"
But alas, Ne'zzakin was nowhere to be seen.