On the planet of Mustafar, two-hundred parsecs away, the fires of lava burned as strong as the hatred Ne'zzakin held in his heart.
With the Lite-Vinaigrette, he grabbed some lava and moulded it until it was in the perfect shape of Padmé. The lava dried, forming a beautiful, 8ft tall obsidian statue. He did the same thing, and formed a 8ft obsidian statue of Obi-Wan.
But it reminded him too much of the real person, and shattered it to pieces.
Just then, on the other side of the planet, a ship docked. Obi-Wan, R2-Pea2, and Padmé Amidala disembarked.
Padmé approached Ne'zzakin, short of breath and distressed. The zucchini looked at her, especially her enlarged abdomen, and the yellow coloration in his eyes went back to white.
"...Padmé..." sighed Ne'zzakin.
The two embraced.
As they hugged, he pressed his flat stomach to her's, feeling the child(ren?) kick within his beloved's
body.
"Ne'z.." said Padmé. "I heard about what you did. That's not right, not Jedi-like."
"But I had to, dear." Said Ne'zzakin.
"No." Said Padmé. "A Jedi wouldn't slaughter thousands of innocent younglings like that...why?"
"Padmé..." spoke Ne'zzakin. "I had to. I had to avenge the death of my mother with those BEASTS on Tatooine, and, and since I'm a Jedi, I'm the most powerful there ever was! ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU'D WANT?! AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME?!"
"No, Ne'zzakin." Said Padmé.
"—AND BECAUSE OF ME, OUR KIDDO'S GONNA GROW UP IN THE SAFEST GALAXY EVER!!"
"No, no..." said Padmé. "The Dark Side has seduced you. I can see it; you're clearly not the little boy I fell in love with all those years ago."
"IM'. THE SAME KID." Ne'z punctuated, becoming agitated.
"What're you talkin' about, woman?!"
"Are you sure?" Said Padmé, voice somewhat breaking. "Are you really the same wide-eyed, curious child I knew? The one that won the Podrace and said I was an Angel, that went on such amazing dates with me?"
Padmé moved away from him, starting to cry.
"Would you...slaughter our baby...like you slaughtered
those younglings and Tusken Raiders?" Tears dripped from
Padmé's eyes.
Ne'zzakin paused, and thought, long and hard.
He was seriously in deep.
There was escaping the Jedi, but no escaping his conscience. Or his wife for that matter.
"No..." he mused. "Maybe I'm not."
Ne'zzakin lifted up a non-existent hand and started to choke Padmé.
He felt the white-hot fire of hate surging through his veins and boiling within.
"OBI!" Yelped Padmé.
As Ne'zzakin continued to choke, he swore he heard something.
He looked at Padmé, and it seemed like not only was she crying, but his unborn child as well.
Instinctively, he let her go, the latter very unconscious.
If he harmed her, he harmed the baby.
R2 and Arch grabbed Padmé and took her back to the ship.
Obi-Wan had sensed the whole thing, and was certainly not happy at all.
After the Battle on Kashyyk, Yoga had arrived. In order to get Obi to Ne'zzakin, a massive lava river obscured the way. Yoga simply stood on a cliff, raised his non-existent hands and bellowed;
"...LET MY JEDI PASS!!!!!!!!"
The lava river parted in enormous walls, allowing Obi to cross a obsidian-magma pathway. Once Obi had crossed the pathway, the lava closed up again, leaving just he and Ne'zzakin. Obi's former Padawan was looking especially
Sith-like now.
He had to turn him back, one way, or another.
"Ne'zzakin, what you are doing is wrong!" Exclaimed Obi. "You can't join the Sith! You have to tell everyone the TRUTH!!"
"YOOOOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!"
"YOU WON'T SAY THE TRUTH, EH?!" Obi's lightsaber came closer.
"YOU'RE ALWAYS LYING!!!! LIKE THAT TIME YOU NOT-SO-SUBTLY RIPPED A SILENT BUTT DEADLY ("but", with two t's) AT THE PRESS CONFERENCE, EVERYBODY THOUGHT IT WAS "WINDY WINDEX", but NOOOO!!!"
"HEY!" Ne'zzakin dodged a blow. "IN MY DEFENSE ALL I HAD FOR BREAKFAST WAS FRUIT GUSHERS AND STEAMED BROCCOLI!"
"IT SMELLED LIKE A HUTT'S DIARRHEA!!"
"Oh!" Said Obi-Wan. "And what about Padmé? I KNOW WHAT YOUUU DID WITH HER!! OR SHOULD I SAY LIL' MISS PREGGO MY EGGO?!!!!!"
Ne'zzakin's eyebrows furrowed. His teeth clenched.
"...mggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A A A A A A D O N' T T A L K A B O U T M Y W I F E T H A T W A A A A A A A A A A A A A Y Y Y Y Y!!!!!!!!!!!"
(Ominous Latin Chanting)
"Oh, I'm sorry Baby Daddy!!" Obi-Wan snarked.
"...what the fresh heck did you say." Said Ne'zzakin.
"Baby..." Obi said. "Daddy."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHH IM' GONNA MELT YOU LIKE A CHEESE PIZZAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
Obi-Wan continued ranting. They both engaged in an epic lightsaber fight, Obi using lava as a weapon with the Lite Vinaigrette, Ne'zzakin using some Dark energy.
Ne'zzakin grunted and pouted, then he got an idea. He closed his eyes
and concentrated all his energy.
"And
IIIIIIIIIIIIEIIIIIII will
always love you
I will always love
you
You, my darling
you!!!!"
Ne'zzakin gave a puppy-eyed stare so big, (complete with huge, blobby
tears) it made the eyes of Keane's paintings look like dots.
"...are you kiddin' me, this bit...And ANOTHER THING!" Said Obi-Wan, sternly.
He flashed his lightsaber at Ne'zzakin, creating a gash on his side.
"STOP STARING AT ME WITH YOUR
BIG, STUPID, BABY SEAL EYES! IT WAS CUTE WHEN YOU WERE A KID, NOW, NOT SO MUCH!"
Ne'zzakin's eyes went back to normal.
"It was the ONLY WAY I could get what I wanted!" He protested.
Obi-Wan kicked his Padawan closer to the lava. The flames and liquid burned him, making his face look horrendous.
"YOU WERE MY BROTHER, NE'ZZAKIN!!" Yelled Obi (who didn't actually know he was suddenly shouting). "I LOOOOOVED YOOOOU!!! AHHH-HA-HAaA!"
Ne'zzakin growled.
In his loudest voice, he yelled;
"IIIIIIIIIII HAAAAAAAAAATTEE YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUU
UUGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
--
"By golly.." said Emperor Pulpatine. "Would you look at the time?"
He grinned and laughed evilly at the 'Felix the (Loth)cat' clock on the wall. In very small lettering, somewhere between four and five AM, it read; ORDER 66.
And this was not a very good sign at all.