Author's note: Hi again! I am so sorry for the awfully long wait. I just finished another story, had writers-block for this one, lots of things to do, etc., etc… Anyway: Thanks a lot for still hanging on! I don't know if I am hundredth percent happy with this book, but I decided to finish it anyway. I will start two other books very soon, so needed to finish this… Enjoy!

Chapter 4 – Lost

Joe Hardy

His autograph. A signed document. A promise to marry… someone. But Joe didn't want to marry someone, he wanted to marry Vanessa.

"Finally! It took you quite some time to get that done, Joseph Hardy! For a moment I thought we was going to miss the wedding." The thick guard dressed in dark smiled behind the balaclava.

"I really want to miss that wedding; I can assure you about it!" Joe grunted in response. He wasn't just disappointed, as he tried to make it look like. Fact was, he was heartbroken. His dreams, hopes, his whole future were crushed in less than a day. He loved Vanessa. Really loved her. And Frank? Of course he was just telling him the truth, but still…

Joe couldn't help but feel betrayed. Frank had always been the one to get them out of bad situations. And always had he thought more about his little brother than himself. Joe didn't blame him, not one second, for choosing Callie. But the feeling of betrayal? He tried to hide it, but yes, it did burn…

"The limousine is awaiting you, Mr. Hardy. But first, will you be so good to change clothes?" The thickest of the guards was speaking again, his voice dark.

'Limousine?' Joe thought confused. Was he going to drive to the church in a limousine? Before he could open his mouth to ask, both guards had left, leaving the door locked. What they also had leaved, was a set of clothes. Inspecting them, Joe found it to be a black suit embellished with a white rose in the buttonhole. It was neatly folded and ready for use. Knowing he had no options but obey, he quickly changed. It suited him well, almost too well. These persons had to know a lot about him to find the exact right size.

"You finished?" the guard asked from the outside. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Joe answered yes. "Good." The door opened again, and Joe was dragged outside. The thick man inspected him up and down. After about half a minute, he finally nodded and said "Think you look okay. Come on, let's go."

Without wasting time handcuffing him, Joe was hauled inside the gleaming ocean-blue car. Both guards knew he had no possibility of escape. Besides, Joe wasn't planning to do so. If he did, Frank would get killed. He couldn't kill his brother. But… could he marry someone else than Vanessa? Both things were hundredth percent impossible. But one of them was going to happen…

The knot inside Joe's stomach tightened even more as the limousine approached the church. He knew he was pale; he could feel it. The landscape they drove by seemed like a blur; he couldn't focus on the dazzling beauty of it. A brilliant sun, endless, blue skies, the trees shining light green – it was nothing to him. Twenty-three years of his life had been happiness. He had expected the following to be even better, since he was going to spend them with Vanessa. But now?

With a superhuman effort, Joe managed to get the oxygen all the way down to his lungs. The waves of dizziness threatened to overwhelm him. Closing his eyes shut, he tried to focus on nothing but the sound of moving wheels. Soon, though, another noise made its way through his ears. Voices. Silent voices, but he heard them.

"Wow, look at him! I think he is about to faint!"

Something with the voice seemed oddly familiar, but Joe was too lost to place it.

"Not good" another person answered "I didn't know he would take it so… seriously."

"That was the whole point, remember?"

"Yeah, I know. I just… Well, of course I knew he loved her, they were engaged after all, but… I suppose I never realised how much. Hope nothing fatal occurs…"

If Joe hadn't been in love, hadn't felt betrayed, hadn't been on the verge of a breakdown, he perhaps would have felt a glimpse of hope being lit in his despairing heart by the words. When he didn't, it was because he had no idea what they were speaking about. He heard them, yes, but his mind was somewhere else. With Vanessa. Saying goodbye forever…

F&J F&J F&J F&J F&J

Old, double doors of oak. The light floating towards him from the inside: Heavenly beautiful, dazzling white. White bench rows, people sitting there, staring at him. He couldn't look back, didn't saw their faces. His own eyes were filled with tears, salty, warm tears. A blur, shades - nothing more.

His feet felt like they were weighing at least hundredth pound. But he had to go down the aisle. Alone. Well, not quite. The two guards were walking about two meters behind him, making sure he really did as he was told. Not that he had a choice: The only person Joe managed to get a look at, was his own brother, sitting on a bench, a guard next to him. If he did one stupid thing, Frank would die. Frank couldn't die…

Step after step. The silence: Unbreakable, deafening. All eyes were on him. He felt them like icy chills. His eyes glued to the rose window in front of him, Joe tried to make his numb body obey him. One more step… He was there. There, ready to marry… someone.

His hands were trembling. His eyes sought the one person he dreaded more than anything. His wife. His wife? Wife? No, it couldn't be! He had to escape! He had to. Death was better than this. But his brother's death?

"I just can't help but think about… About my wife. Callie. She… I don't know how she will take it. Considered they would kill you anyway…"

Frank trusted him. He had asked him for one favour. It was probably the first one… But why? Why did he have to ask him about that one thing Joe couldn't give him? Why?

A white shadow up the aisle. Floor-length, white, old-fashioned, beautiful wedding dress. An impervious veil covering her face. But what he saw…

The tears in his eyes burned. His hands trembled uncontrollably. The room was spinning. She looked so much like Vanessa. So awfully alike… He wanted to run to her, hold her, tell her how much he loved her, and never, ever let go. But it wasn't Vanessa. It was his bride. There was nothing he could do to prevent her from being so. Except to kill his brother...

Next to each other. Close. He could smell her perfume. They same as Vanessa used… it hurt so much! It hurt more than he could bear to carry. But he had to…

The priest smiling to them. Speaking. Asking. "Yes" Her voice so soft, so clear, so beautiful. Exactly like Vanessa's…

"Joe Hardy, do you want to marry this woman and stay by her side for the rest of your life?"

'No!' Joe thought, knowing he had no choice. He couldn't let his brother down, couldn't let him down, couldn't…

"Yes" His voice was surprisingly clear, oddly hollow.

"You may kiss the bride"

With trembling hands Joe lifted the veil. All hope was gone from his eyes. He was going to face his bride – and it wasn't Vanessa…

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