Edward hated this type of thing. Petting zoos were not really what he would call fun, but it was for Elicia and Hughes, who Edward had, somehow, lost in the crowd. Edward frowned. Unfortunately, Mustang had also been invited along, which Edward had found out after they had arrived. And, as it seemed, it was too late to back out at that point.

"I never should have agreed to come along," Edward groaned, making his complaints audible. No one was listening, though. "They freaking lost me in the crowd. I bet Mustang did or on purpose so that he could make a short joke about crowds." Edward crossed his arms in annoyance. "And anyway this is Al's type of thing. It's definitely not mine." Alphonse would have come too if he wasn't visiting Winry and Granny in Resembool, while Edward worked on some "apology letters" for a town that he had nearly completely destroyed. Little traitor. Well, he didn't know until he was already in Resembool, but still; it was annoying.

Edward looked at the small creatures through the wire fences. Rabbits sat, fluffy and enjoyable to the eye; along with waddling ducks that quite often tripped over their own webbed feet. Sheep wandered about with their fluffy coats. Goats butted heads slightly when another came too close to the food. One of the goats, a miniature goat with a creamy brown coat dusted with darker brown spots, caught Edward's attention. He liked that one. It was smaller than all the other goats, but he always won in the end and got the food. It brought an evil smile to Edward's face.

Freddie. Edward liked that name for the goat. It just seemed to fit him. Though, at the same time it was quite the opposite. Freddie meant peaceful ruler, and Freddie had proved that that wasn't true of him. He was a ruler who showed his power.

A hand grabbed Edward by the shoulder. Edward spun around expecting to find Hughes or maybe the Colonel. He was a little annoyed and was hoping it would be the Colonel, so he could sock the man in the face for losing him among the people milling about.

"Hey, kiddo, you want to come with me?" It came from a man Edward had never met before in his life. He was tall and had dark brown hair. His icy blue eyes peered down at Edward with a sick sort of longing.

"Uh... No!" Edward turned and started scanning the gathered people for either the Colonel or Maes Hughes. "You creep, you should be ashamed of yourse-" Edward was interrupted by the man grabbing his plait.

"Hey!" Edward shouted in a panic. He attempted to pull away. "What do you think you're doing?" A prick in his arm made Edward flinch. He pulled away and clapped. His hands went to the pavement. From the ground, a hand erupted. It wound around the the man so that he dropped the syringe that he had so rudely stabbed Edward with.

To Edward's horror it looked like it wasn't completely full. He had to find Hughes and Mustang before whatever was in that syringe took effect on his body.

Edward stumbled away from the man, who was screaming for help while trapped in Edward's transmutation. Freddie smiled at him as he came closer to the fence. It took Edward a moment to realise that it was Freddie who had smiled.

Turn away, and don't look back! Edward thought to himself, turning as he did. It was a goat. They don't smile.

"Hey, short stuff?" Edward spun on his heels to face the horned demon.

"What did you call me?" Edwards eyes narrowed. He was a little surprised at the sound of his voice. It seemed a little off. A bit higher than usual. But that wasn't the only thing on his mind, because was it just him, or did that goat just call him short?

"Pipsqueak..." The goat belated.

"I'm not a pipsqueak-runt, Freddie!" Edward was having a hard time not ripping the little horns off of the goat. Freddie just smiled with a giggly snort.

"Do you think you're better than me? You are a just a short little human."

Edward burst. "Well, you're just a tiny little goat! And I'm bigger than you anyway!"

A few nearby parents and their children glanced at the boy who was arguing with a goat instead of feeding it. They naturally gravitated away. Maybe, in fear that whatever had driven the boy insane was some how contagious. No one wanted their child to start arguing with a goat like it could talk.

"You think you're so high and mighty because you're the strongest of the goats! Well, joke's on you! You're actually the smallest!" Edward felt so prideful at telling Freddie his place.

"It's because they don't let us have any milk. We aren't allowed to drink milk anymore so we can't get bigger... Maybe you should drink your milk?"

Edward hissed at Freddie. "I'm not drinking that white demon-spawn cow juice! You can't make me!"

"Then you'll stay forever short, alchemist... See, now, look at my talent." Freddie butted his head against the fence. "You can't do that!"

"Yes, I can!" Edward got on his hands and knees. He smacked his head against the fence, frowning sourly at the slight pain it had caused.

"No, not like that! Like this." Before Edward even had the chance to move his head away from the fence, Freddie plowed into it; the wire links doing little to protect the young alchemist from the crashing blow to his head.

Edward fell backwards onto his butt. He gripped his head where a trickle of blood could be found.

"Freddie?! Apologise to me right now!" Edward watched the goat expectantly. "I mean it! Where is my apology?"

Freddie was the smuggest looking goat out there. He cocked his head and did a strange, laughable, dance away.

Edward snorted and chuckled. Freddie came rushing back over, and, learning from his last experience, Edward shuffled away from the fence. He looked through the wire links with a look of betrayal. "Stop being so rude, Freddie! Trying to head-butt me again? So rude... And I haven't forgotten about my apology! I'M STILL WAITING!!!"

"Well, you're not getting one." Freddie did his strange giggly laugh. It was kind of freaking Edward out.

"I SAID TO APOLOGISE!!! RIGHT NOW!!!"

"Nope."

"I SAID APOLOGISE!!!"

"Not going to happen," The goat hummed.

"I'M GOING TO..." Edward took a moment to compose himself. "I won't do anything because you're just a stupid little goat." Edward glowed at his pride. He could control his temper sometimes. Mustang was right about him being a loose cannon, but Edward was capable of controlling his temper, when he wanted to.

It was Edward's turn to be smug, now. "Ha, you see? You can't control me!" He frowned as the goat smiled again.

"Baa, that's what you think..." There was a slight pause then the goat made an odd sort of gasp/bleat. "I just realised how close you were... I thought you were far away because of how small you were, Fullmetal." A bleating laugh rang from Freddie's mouth. "You know what?" Freddie seemed to be waiting for Edward's reply.

"What?!" Edward was ticked. He was nearly at his breaking point, but he was sure he could keep his cool, at least, enough not to kill the goat or his little friends.

"They should have called you Quartermetal alchemist." Freddie made a strange giggling noise. "Or, maybe, Short-A-Couple-Limbs Alchemist?"

That was it. The goat was a goner. Edward would make sure of that.

Freddie didn't know what was happening when he heard it. He was only a goat, after all.

Stomp-Stomp-Clap!

The fence started changing. The light and ringing frightened the goat. Freddie ran in an awkward deer-like gallop from the crazed human.

Roy Mustang watched at a distance, laughing out his heart. Edward Elric, the one and only "Hero of the People", Was tripping over his feet as he chased after the miniature goat. His smile only grew when he thought about how Edward and Freddie had that in common.

"Hey, Hughes, I found him!" Mustang called out to his friend with a huge smile plastered across his face.

Mustang turned back to Edward and assumed that he probably should grab Edward before he impaled the poor creature with one of the spikes he was transmuting in his chase after the galloping goat.

"Hey, Fullmetal, there you are! Get over here! You'll never catch him with your tiny legs anyway!"

Edward stopped the chase, eying his new victim with a mischievous sort of glee. One you would see on a predator before he ripped his prey apart. "YOU BETTER RUN, COLONEL BASTARD!!!"

Happy Birthday, Anne!

I really hope you liked it! And I hope you have a wonderful birthday!