A/N: Well, the latest chapter for A Most Unlikely Caster didn't go over well.

Had to delete a LOT of anonymous flames telling me to kill myself.

Fun stuff when you're sick.

*EDIT*

Afraid to take risks, am I?

This chapter should answer that question in spades. I've been spending a lot of time playing FGO, but I haven't let it disrupt my daily update schedule. Its been a near thing a couple of times, but I'm still at it; of course it helps that I got Saber Alter and Artoria Alter. Not even gonna try to roll for Merlin. Nope! Saving my quartz for the big guns.

BEHOLD THE TROLLS!

Do you guys really want to make me cry?

Look at the bloody reviews for this story if you don't believe me. They're buried now, but they're still there. I'm done. So, unbelievably done. What's the point in writing when half the bloody review count is flames?! This shit is driving me crazy! That's it! I've had it! T_T Why am I doing this shit if I just get lambasted for it and no one bothers to review; no, everyone just jumps on the flaming bandwagon and tries to tear me down.

I...just wanted...to make people happy...

So!

Here!

Shadow!Naruto's a right blast to write, in part because I don't have to hold back with him.

Reviews are love. Reviews are life. Reviews make me strive.

As ever, this will be gone in two days if folks don't like it.

References are glorious and I own nothing~!

Sorry if its short, but I'm still really sick.

"You think you know what the dark is?"

...you have no idea.

But you will."

~?

A Most Unlikely Slaughter

"I'm going out, Master."

The Necromancer frowned. "By yourself?"

A rusty chuckle answered him. "Is that a problem?"

Sisigou looked up from his materials as the words echoed in the crypt, frowning while they folded endlessly in on themselves. At a glance, he could barely see Archer at all near the entrance; the young man's body seemed to blend back into the shadows a little...too well. If it weren't for those burning eyes or his announcement just now, he wouldn't have noticed him at all. He'd been silent for the better part of a day since his summoning; only as the sun set did he unbend enough to speak. That was the problem in the first place. He wasn't prepared to leave. His reserves were still treacherously low, even now.

"I'm just scouting." as though sensing his fear, his Servant's dulcet tones reassured him from the dark. "If I encounter an enemy Servant, I'll kill them."

The smallest of smiles tugged at the corner of his mouth. "That confident, are you?"

"No." the whiskered warrior's voice turned flat. "Just certain."

With that, he sketched a bow to depart.

"Men do not fear swords, Master of mine." Archer snarked, turning his back on him. "They fear monsters. They run from them. Sometimes...that's what the world needs. Fight evil with evil. Dark against dark. Madness vs. Madness. For the night is dark and full of terrors." he smiled over his shoulder, a grim grin revealing entirely too many teeth. "I am that terror. Stick with me, and I will be a plague upon your enemies. Don't die while I'm away, either I need you alive."

"Aw, never knew you cared, kid."

...I will stab you." came the growl. "Right here. Right now."

"Can't do that, remember?" Sisigou smirked. "If I die, you go back to the throne."

For a fleeting moment the shadows swirled an Kairi wondered if he'd shoot him, but Naruto merely vanished instead.

The grizzled magus blinked at the the blond's abrupt absence. "Huh. Neat. Wonder how he does that? I'll have to ask him sometime...

(..0o0o0...)

Fear is a matter of perspective.

When you sacrifice that perspective for the sake of power, life begins to lose its meaning. Fear shackles us, but it also keeps us safe from harm. Sane. Like pain, it warns us when we're in danger. Our body instinctively responds to peril and shies away when faced with suicidal tactics. Its simply human nature. We don't like to be hurt. We don't like danger. We run from it, dread it, try to escape it. But what happens when you stop feeling that sensation? How do you live life without fear? If so, who are you? What are you?

What indeed?

Naruto found himself pondering this for a moment as he slipped into the darkness again and became one with the shadows, literally and figuratively. He merged with them, sinking into the black as though it were naught but a deep, dark pool of water. The world always lost its color for him whenever he did this, but that was fine. He didn't need color to kill. In a heartbeat he left the crypt behind and slipped out of town completely, moving further and further into Black Faction territory, wholly undetected on this cloudy night.

During the day this might have proved problematic.

He was no vampire to be sure, but there could be no denying that his body was weaker during the day. Sunlight tended to...disagree with him and the shadows he played host to. He could still fight with the best of them when pressed, but not at his full potential. Not here. Not now. This was the night. This was his element. Here, he was king.

A Most Unlikely Shadow.

Just thinking of that exasperating title made him scoff.

Wrapping the darkness around himself like a shroud, Naruto reemerged in the first town he found and stretched his senses out like a net. He wasn't as suited to the Archer class as he might've liked; even as an Alter, even with this mental pollution and corruption staining his soul, he simply didn't enjoy the idea of long-range combat. No; though he loved this class not, there was no denying that, given his past, he was well-suited for it. Keen eyes and razor aim were his weapons here; effortlessly allowing him to detect potential prey.

And that had been before he devoured the Akatsuki and took their abilities as his own.

He couldn't end the war in one night-unlike another Archer-but he was confident enough in his skills to wreak havoc behind enemy lines. Thus far, he hadn't found anything intriguing enough to make this foray worthwhile, but that would soon change. The shadows within him were growing restless. Hungry. He needed to find something to distract himself and soon, before he-

A distant speck of movement caught his eye and he blurred towards it.

Sure enough, his patience was rewarded as he scaled a rooftop to find the cause. There. In the streets. A squad of homonculus, near two dozen strong if one didn't count their golems. Sisigou had mentioned that the Black Faction had hordes of disposable soldiers to command. They like had hundreds of them waiting in the wings to replace any they lost. They'd make a decent enough meal; but the true weight of his attention was reserved wholly for the Servant commanding them. What the devil was that thing?

A centaur?

It certainly looked like one.

Whatever it was, it was a Servant. He could see the bow in its hand, feel its strength from here. An Archer. How very...ironic. If he weren't concealing his own presence, he was certain they would've seen him by now. But why was it-he?-even here at all, much less accompanying a squad of disposable soldiers? Had another Servant been raiding this town, perhaps? By the look of their taut faces and the flat, stoic expression the made up the whole of Archer of Black's face, he suspected that might well be true. Bah. Not his concern. They were certainly looking for...something, something that wasn't him.

Such a pity that they'd found him instead.

Exhaling deeply, he sank back into the void and slithered down the side of a wall. Part of him wanted nothing more than to obliterate this lot with one of Kakuzu's or Pein's tricks, but caution stayed his hand. This called for a more...direct approach. A first-and last!-strike that no one would see coming. By the time they noticed it would be far, far too late. With a thought, he slipped behind the lot of them. Then beneath their very feet-silently binding his shadows with theirs in his wake-as he crept up behind Archer. They and their golems were his, now; they simply didn't know it yet. This was a trick he couldn't use often, but it would suffice for the time being.

He went for the Servant first.

Chiron never saw him coming; indeed, he wasn't expecting a shadowy assault at all. He'd been prepared to fend of a feral Berserker, not the cold calculated strike of someone hailing from the same class as he. Naruto had not been far off that mark in that regard. They weren't hunting him at all. He was hunting them. Of course, neither Archer had any way of knowing what was about to transpire. Who in their right mind thought to send out an Archer out after a Berserker anyway? Naruto permitted himself another grim smile as he gathered his energy, coiled the darkness around him...and...

When he struck, he did so swiftly and silently; he didn't lunge at all.

...he pulled.

To his credit, Chiron reacted flawlessly; he snapped back a kick the moment he felt killing intent. Such a shame his true attacker had never truly been behind him to begin with. Indeed, that poor puppeteered homonculus died nearly instantaneously as twin hooves crushed his chest. But by then his fellows were already lunging, a teeming mass of homonculi and golems descending upon Archer of Black in a single teeming mass. Even as he overextended himself in that frantic back-legged kick, one or two of them even managed to land a few blows before he dispatched them.

This didn't kill Chiron, of course; no heroic spirit worth their salt would die to cannon fodder such as these. Just as Naruto could never control a Servant's shadow; that had never been his intention.

It was a distraction, nothing more.

Chiron dispatched most of his attackers within nine seconds.

For one of the Archer class, that was all the time in the world and more.

He was only just beginning to turn-to face the roof-when heaven and earth erupted into shadowy death. Dozens of inky black blades burst from the shadows, skewering the unprepared Archer from head to toe. There was no time to react, no time to realize what was happening; by the time Chiron realized he'd been wounded it was already over. He staggered against his injuries, tried to stumble way, only to fall prey to another attack. In a single seamless movement his foe fired off a quartet of shots, one for each of Chiron's feet, pinning him in place. All he saw was shadow, a figure rearing up in the dark.

No.

Not here.

Not like this.

He saw his death coming for him, and despite his ruined arms, tried to lift his bow. The enemy-for that was all he could think of them as-ripped it from his hands and cast it away. Smoldering eyes darker than any shadow or any pit gazed placidly back at him. The owner of said eyes manifested a bow of their own as he looked on, silently drawing back the string.

"What are you?"

That ghastly face leaned closer.

"I," it began coldly, "Am the solution."

Its smile was death itself, cold and unflinching.

Chiron barely had time to croak before seven ebony missiles skewered them from head to toe.

Then the teeming mass of shadows went to work of their own volition, devouring the dissolving mass before the throne could fully lay claim to what remained. Some of it escaped; a horrific experience recorded and sent back for the original to remember. The rest was fuel. Naruto didn't mind. He had what he came for. One down. In record time at that. A backstabbing strategy like that wouldn't succeed against a Rider or, gods forbid, a Saber. Blind bloody luck had won the day, and with this meal, the voices in his head would recede for the time being.

Sisigou whistled softly through their shared link. "Well. That's...certainly one way to do it. Good job."

"I'm so glad you agree with my methods." Naruto hummed. "Now, then..time for desert."

Humming softly, he rounded on the remaining homonculi.

Then he swooped down on these remaining enemies.

The rest of them-freed now from his control-tried to hide behind their golems. It didn't save them. He ripped and tore through them as one would a paper bag. And when it was done, they, their weapons, their energy, all of their existence, joined him in the shadows. Nothing remained, save the idle bloodstain and the sundered street. No one would know what had happened here. All told, it was shaping up to be a very productive evening indeed. Yes, he could almost admit that he was satisfied with this outcome...

"Don't move." A woman's rough voice hissed in his right ear.

...until someone used his own tactics against him.

He didn't even sense his attack until the clawed point of hand pressed itself against the base of his spine; he'd been too distracted by his meal. His shadows were bloated and sated, not as aware as they should have been, in hindsight. The fault was entirely his. That didn't dull the shame of realizing he'd been had. Someone had been here, watching him, waiting for him to finish his fight. Then they'd turned his own strategy on its head. Well enough to impress him at that. He had no doubt that the slightest pretense of movement on his part would result in a severed spine. Which in turn left him in a bit of a pickle.

There were many things he could heal from, but that? That wasn't one of them. Which meant-

"Red or Black?"

The inquiry was so sudden; so abrupt, that he found himself momentarily taken aback. Another hand locked around his neck, clawed fingers digging painfully into his skin. Reluctantly, he sent a command to the shadows concealing him and willed them to drop the shroud and reveal himself in his entirety. He felt his captor stiffen behind him in response, heard her suck in a sharp breath of surprise, though he knew not why. Regardless, it didn't change the fact that her clawed hands on him slackened. He sensed an opportunity, but he daren't take it.

He answered:

Naruto grunted. "Red."

"Class?" she pressed harder. Oh for the love of...!

"Archer." he forced the word out through his own gritted teeth.

"Berserker." came the immediate counter. "Know this; if you're lying, I'll kill you."

"I'm not." he hissed on a rare, exasperated breath of sound. "I'm going to turn around, now."

He raised his hands slowly-oh so slowly-and did as he'd said. Incredibly, Berserker allowed him to do so.

In short order, he found himself face to face with his attacker. Scantily clad in the torn pelt of a ghastly black boar with violet markings, she looked like some wild beast out the forest rather than an actual warrior. Fitting, given the way she was glowering at him. Golden eyes shone from a stern face framed by long ashen hair and...were those cat ears? And an actual tail, swaying behind her back? His brain-and the shadows-took a moment to process this, dismissed it as irrelevant, and focused on her face and the profound reaction she gave him.

Instead of attacking, she shrank back, hands flying to her face to mask mute horror.

"Berserker?" she whispered.

A blond brow rose in mild confusion.

"No, I'm Archer. You're clearly a Berserker."

Atalanta laughed then, and it sounded almost like...a sob?

"You idiot...look at you. Just what happened to you in your lifetime?"

To his complete, unutterable dismay, his fellow Alter stepped forward, grabbed his face...and kissed him.

A/N: As ever, I own no references or quotes.

Poor Chiron. Though he stood a fair chance against Naruto, he died to treachery and deception. If it wasn't already obvious, it is HEAVILY implied that Atalanta was deliberately obliterating squads of homonculus on the Black Faction turf in an attempt to draw out a Servant. She succeeded...just not in the way she intended.

Atalanta on the other hand, well, she's more suited to facing down a teeming mass of shadows up close and personal.

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(Preview)

Sisigou smirked.

"Didn't expect you to bring a girl home."

And if the kid looked fit to strangle him for that...worth it.

"Drinks?"

Shuten-Douji waved cheerily.

Merlin beamed. "Why, hello there! Have we met?"

Naruto twitched. "For some reason, I want to punch him."

"Naruto, no." Berserker snagged his arm before he could. "He's on our side!"

"Ruler, Mordred! At your service! Nice ta meetcha!"

...what the actual fuck." an eye twitched. "In what timeline did YOU qualify as a Ruler?!"

"Ha?!" those peerless aqua orbs narrowed to thinly concealed slits. "What was that, you shadowy little shit?!"

"Ah. There's her real personality...somehow, she's too easy to rile up, even in this form." Archer exhaled with a long suffering sigh and poked her again for emphasis. "And what's with this chest?! Since when were you so STACKED-

She clobbered him through a building for that quip.

R&R! =D